Friday, April 10, 2009

Update on Yesterday

I took Ben in for his class and when I got there, the director informed Ben that today he would be going down the hall with another group. That meant I couldn't listen through the door! So, I called the gal over and said, "We need to talk." And I was really honest with her. She said that Tues. had been a hectic day and she felt bad. It turns out the feelings bingo is just one game they play. But from what she explained, it does sound like this place is what I was wanting for Ben - they do teach the social skills. And the reason I couldn't go in with Ben wasn't because they were trying to keep me from hearing what was being taught or what Ben had to say. But some of the kids are in situations where there is a non-custodial parent or they are out of their homes entirely. Because courts have gotten involved, there are a lot of privacy issues. I can accept that.

So Ben finger painted yesterday. I know, I know - that's a stereotypical mental retardation activity. But I heard peals and peals of laughter coming from that room and it was Ben laughing. That made me feel good. And I had more of a chance to observe the kids and they weren't all so doped up looking this time. So, we'll keep with this for awhile, at least.

Then I went to the City Council mtg last night and found out our clerk is resigning to take care of her ailing father. It was suggested that I add my application to the two that have already come in for her job. 3 1/2 years ago she had decided to resign and I was told that if I wanted the job, it was mine. But then, the clerk decided to stay at her position. So, I ended up getting on the city council instead. I have had a chance to observe Teri (the clerk) and all she does and I'm not so sure I want the job. It's a lot of work! I think I could do it, but...

My first thought last night was "Yay! Now I can be Clerk and earn more money!" But then the more I sat there and thought about it the more I knew I couldn't. A few weeks ago I got to the point where I was so tired. I couldn't think, I couldn't move, I couldn't even sleep. I made plans to take a Sunday off and stay home and regroup and then Sam got sick and I had to stay home anyway! Then Ben got sick and I missed another Sunday! Anyway, I have just really felt the need to slow down in some way. I remember how difficult it was when I worked pt at the bank in Carlisle. I loved what I did, but it made home life more hectic. And I only had 3 children then. This is a season in life and I need to be here. In many ways, the clerking job would be ideal because I would not be commuting and it is very part time. But I don't know where I would squeeze even something part time in. I have a to do list right now that I can't get through. Next year I will have a high schooler and I have a feeling that is going to take a little more time on my end with preparation and grading in order to be getting a transcript ready for him. The thing is, mothering and homeschooling is a season in life for me right now. Someday, I will be past these days. Even though I will be doing this for awhile longer with Sam, it's going to be different once the other boys are up and out because it will just be one child. I'll have more time then.

So, I told the council members that I would run the idea by Paul but I really doubted I would be turning in an application because of my time and family commitments. When I got home I told Paul all this, but to my disappointment he didn't immediately agree with me that it was the best decision to not pursue it. He did say he understood, though. But, he had just come home from a meeting/training time for his work. He had gotten another earful on the increased govt. regulation for the heating and air industry and it was discouraging to him. All this required licensing and training just drives up the costs for both the employer and the customer. It never used to be this way and things were fine. So, Paul was thinking that yes, it would be nice to have that extra income to kind of help with our debt load and to make it so we're not so dependent on him and his sometimes unreliable hours. But this is the way it has to be. I can't do it all. The boys and I are reading about George Muller right now and the way God continually met his needs and those of his orphans. If God could do that, I know He can provide for us.

So next Thurs. we will be having a special city council meeting (for which I will be paid!) to interview the two candidates we have for the job. That will be fun, I think. I have never been in a position before to interview anyone for employment.

Well, today I need to run to town to get the boys Easter things and candy. It's so hard to come up with smaller inexpensive things for them when what they want are great big, expensive, video games! But I'm not doing that. Oh, and I need to buy eggs to dye! I just remembered that. And I have a chiropractor appt, too. Then tonight is our date. That reminds me - I need to measure the windows. Paul and Ben went to the foot dr. first thing this morning for their plantar warts. They should be back soon. I hope Paul gets some hours in this afternoon. Off to start my day!

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