DIARY OF AN UNWILLING WIDOW
Today has been a rough day for a variety of reasons. I dreamed about Paul early this morning. He was clean-shaven again. I really wonder about the significance of that. Why am I only dreaming of him without his beard? In this dream, though, we had lost a child; I don’t know which one. We had been lost in our own little grief worlds for some period of time and in my dream I was longing to go back to him, so that we could come together and support each other in our shared grief. I’m not sure that there is any real meaning to that – dreams can be pretty random. But right now every small thing concerning Paul takes on heightened meaning and awareness for me. I woke up and realized that it wasn’t a child I was a mourning, but my husband. Crushing.