tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18437070590358643212024-03-14T07:57:49.247-05:00Mothering Men (to be), Marriage, and MiscellanyThe title is a description of my old life...but these days I ramble on about widowhood, homeschooling, single parenting, adoption, special-needs parenting, & living a life I never planned for or expected - a life that God, thankfully, continues to strengthen & equip me for daily...Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.comBlogger604125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-11943832958683131692016-03-02T08:05:00.002-06:002016-03-02T08:07:40.821-06:00Day 1000<div class="MsoNormal">
So, here it is...my final post of <b>Mothering Men to Be, Marriage and Miscellany</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today marks the 1000<sup>th</sup> day of my widowhood. I know there’s no real meaning there, other
than the calendar has rolled to yet another day without Paul. But I still tend to ascribe significance to
certain days and symbols so, to me, it’s significant, regardless. I’ve been blogging for more than 7 yrs –
mostly about really unimportant stuff.
After Paul died, this blog became a place to make sense of what had
happened. It got pretty messy for awhile
as I bled all over the keyboard day after day, but it was cathartic
nonetheless. Today, I’m starting a new
blog. It’s nothing professional – just a
place to continue musing about life and relate the funny things the kids say,
mostly. But the title reflects my current life a little more accurately than my
old one did. Most importantly, though, I
need a new blog because it’s time to quit counting the days – and face the
future with hope.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My new blog site: <b>http://rubbletonewlife.blogspot.com/</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Here's the link: <a href="http://rubbletonewlife.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">More of Sarah</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-16134736024854863782016-02-29T13:42:00.001-06:002016-02-29T13:50:47.266-06:00Day 998<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">February 29, 2016<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Day 998<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Busy morning…it’s going to be a busy
week all around.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Ben had his tux fitting this morning,
which was chaos. There were about 30
boys and their dates trying to look at 2 books and decide on tuxes. Then, they all had to stand in line to be
fitted. Ben’s date doesn’t actually have
her dress yet – just an on-line photo of what she has ordered. So, hopefully, the tealish-mint green tux and
tie we went with will match! The lady
measured Ben and pronounced him having a 30” waist and I told her to measure
again. He does NOT have a 30”
waist. I always have my friend,
Elizabeth, put in elastic to make his pants to a 28” circumference. So she measured again and said, “oops – you’re
right.” I KNOW I’m right! I guess the
tuxes do arrive several days before prom and if anything doesn’t fit right they
will take them back and make corrections before the big night. So, that’s good, I guess.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">***********************************</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Then I went down to Walmart to work
on making copies of photos for Ben’s senior scrapbook for his party in
May. I sat there for an hour doing this
when suddenly the machine ate my work – all my scanned copies – gone. Poof…I’m just going to scan them into my
computer and order on-line, I guess.
Grrr…<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">*****************************************</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; border-bottom: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; border: none; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">And while I’m scanning
photos I get a call from a stranger in Illinois who used to be a resident of
Swan. Apparently, she was awarded some
property here in a divorce and was wanting my opinion on whether or not it was
worth it to pursue legally. How should I
know? I don’t even know how she got my
number. So I told her what I have
observed about the property and then she starts telling me how when she lived
her in ’05 her teenage son was killed in a car accident and how the depression
from that has immobilized her for the past decade. I told her I could understand better than she
thought and she asked, “How have you survived?
Don’t you just want to die?” And
I wished in that moment that I am a better communicator in person and that I
wasn’t sitting in the photo dept. at Walmart right then. I did tell her if she comes back to Iowa to
look at the property to come over by my house.
Maybe we can talk more then.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">*************************************</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">This is “crunch week” for school. I
turned in my power point presentation on “Redeeming Love” last night. Will helped me with that. I still have to write my big paper (5-7
pages) that’s due Thursday. I also
turned in my paper last night on the Race, Historicism, and New Colonialism
theory of literary analysis.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Last Thursday night we discussed the
book we read, “The Awakening” by Kate Chopin.
I was very firm and vocal about how much I disliked this book. This is a story written in 1899. It was even banned for a time. It details the life of a wealthy young Creole
wife named Edna. She has two young boys
that she refuses to have much interaction with.
Instead, she focuses on how unhappy she is with her lot in life and
falls in love with a man who is not her husband. In the meantime, she refuses to do what her
husband wants her to do and eventually moves out of the home, much to his
dismay. So, then the man she has fallen
in love with runs away because he does have some moral standards and in
response to this, Edna finds another man to have sex with (not her
husband). In the end, a strong swimmer,
she walks into the ocean and drowns herself because the man she is in love with
won’t marry her because she is already married to someone else. Boo, hoo, hoo…what a whiner and a loser! Do you know how many servants and lower class
people would have given anything to be in Edna’s shoes? She had prior commitments, anyway. I have no sympathy for this character and I
let her have it in our discussion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">That was our last class
discussion. I’m going to miss this
class. I’ve learned a lot and I think it’s
been a good confidence booster and re-introduction to college life. I’m hoping
to have earned an “A” in that – so far, so good on that, but I don’t have all
the work in yet, either. Things could
change on that end yet! My next class
that starts next week will be all on-line.
And then the two classes after that will both be Lit classes again.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">******************************************</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Will told me last Friday he’s pretty
sure Special Education is what he’s going to pursue. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; border-bottom: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; border: none; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Redemption.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">********************************************</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Ellie’s chart is still coming along,
although last week was rougher and she didn’t earn stickers every day. At one point I told her, “I’d sure hate to be
in your shoes right about now.” She
looked at me witheringly and said, “Of course not – you can’t fit in my shoes!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I received a survey from the kids’
school asking for my input on their new behavior system. I didn’t know it was new since this is our
first year. Unfortunately for them, they
asked for parental comments on them. I
had to attach a sheet. Now, I understand
there is a bit of a paradox or at least irony here because I just wrote about
Ellie’s bribery chart. I’m desperate
with her! So now I have to make sure
nobody at school ever knows I resorted to bribing my own child to be good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Because I wrote them a 7 paragraph
note in which I asked, “Since when do we reward children for doing what they’re
supposed to be doing in the first place?”
I explained that my own kids know understand that if they don’t obey,
they will suffer the consequences of disobedience (well, except for Ellie, who
couldn’t care less – I didn’t tell them that, though). I also commented that I don’t recall, as a child, <b>ever</b> having kids with repeated
behavioral issues like I have observed in both my kids’ classrooms in my own – but then,
I added, I grew up in an era where the teachers and principal had wooden
paddles hanging behind their desks. I
said that I understand that school does differ from home and that times have
changed. However, I added in my last paragraph, I feel we are doing children
a grave disservice because someday when they are adults they may be shocked to
discover that nobody is applauding them for exhibiting the characteristics of
good citizenship. My note probably made
a quick trip to the recycling bin, I have a feeling…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">This did spur further thought in my
own mind, though, after I wrote and sent in the survey and note. What IS the solution, other than revival in
our society? I hear the stories that Sam
and Lizzie bring home about the trouble makers in their classes. It sure sounds to me like a lot of the teacher’s
time goes toward these kids – which means my own are being shortchanged in the
process. That day I was there to help
with Lizzie’s class Valentine party the main classroom offender was in time-out
and his teacher made a comment to me about something his “behavior plan”
states. You mean they have plans for behavior
now, not just special education? I
mentioned that to Will and he said yeah, this was something that had been
covered in one of his classes.
Apparently, they act very similar to IEPs and outline how the kid who
can’t control himself will be handled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I have a solution. It’s not the final solution because that
involves heart change and mending generations of broken families and children. And it’s not something that could be taken
care of at the school level, either. It
would have to be legislative in nature.
The key to fixing behavioral issues in
the classroom is to make the onus be on the parents. I guarantee you that these two little boys my
kids tell me about nearly every day are not facing any consequences at home
when they act up in school. But, if a
system was in place that stated if your child won’t behave in the classroom, he
will no longer be allowed to attend school – I guarantee you those kids would
shape up in a hurry. If those parents
would suddenly be required to homeschool, enroll their child in an alternative
school, or even just be required to attend school </span><i style="color: #141823; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">with</i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> their delinquent offspring there wouldn’t be any more
problems. But because it isn’t touching
the parents, they don’t have any motivation to enact severe consequences of
their own on their child. From what I
hear from most teachers, anyway, is that parents today get offended when told
about their child’s misbehavior and immediately start making excuses or flat
out telling the teacher, “You’re wrong.
My child would never do that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">So anyway. Our schools are a mess. Our children are a mess. Families are a mess. All we can do is muddle along the best we
can.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; border-bottom: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: none; border-top: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 1.0pt 0in .25in 0in;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">There is a family
that has moved in down the street. Four
adults and 7 children in this 3 bedroom house (pretty sure that’s illegal with renting,
but since nobody even knows for sure who the landlord actually is at the
moment, that’s probably the least of concerns).
The kids are all siblings and range from 2 – 16. They discovered my house last week when it
warmed up. David was outside shooting
baskets and came in the house all flustered because “those teenage girls just
keep <i>staring</i> at me and whispering!” Saturday the grade schoolers were over in the
afternoon, along with some <i>other</i>
neighbor kids. I had trouble with one
kid who got into my garage and took out hedge trimmers and lied to me about
it. After explaining the danger of what
he had done to him and getting him to admit to his crime (while insisting me
look at me in the eyes – that was probably the hardest part. He wanted to look at the floor and was
literally trying to bury his face into his shirt collar) I told him that was
his only warning. If he ever lied to me
again (or got in the garage – I need to keep that locked up when others are
here) I’d never let him come over again.
Finally, his brother (who had ratted him out in the first place) looked
at me and asked, “Are you a teacher or something?” That made me smile. I told him nope – just a mom to a lot of kids…which means there isn’t too much I haven’t
dealt with already. So, hopefully, I put
the fear of Mrs. Heywood into them and there won’t be any more problems. But, I’m going to limit playtime,
anyway. I’m not going to be a babysitter
for the entire neighborhood. Maybe if I’m mean enough they’ll stay away,
anyway!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I had a strange,
vivid dream one night last week. It
makes me wonder if it was prophetic.
Maybe it was the dessert I ate before turning out the lights. I don’t know!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Anyway, I was
returning from somewhere in time. I came
back and America had lost all its rights (apparently it was taking place after
the elections of 2016!). Our family was
living in a dumpy apartment with another family. Everyone’s food was provided by the
government. So, in my dream we were
excited because somehow we’d stumbled across 2 lemons ( I don’t even like
lemons) and we were going to have fresh fruit for supper! And I was holding a package of deerburger in
my hand, which must have been contraband because when we heard a sudden knock
at the door, I threw it, along with the lemons in a nearby cupboard and made
sure they were buried under some towels.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Later, I was
outside and I realized that I was not seeing any mini-vans or SUVs on the
road. Everyone had a small, junky
looking car. I asked someone about that
and they said, well, there were no more children, so larger vehicles
were not needed. I asked, “”What do you
mean, no more children?” Because I had
seen children in my dream. But this
person pointed out to me that the only children were about 9 year or
older. Nobody else was allowed to have
babies anymore. And I realized that was
right. Which, on this side of the dream,
makes me wonder how the government thought they were going to sustain
themselves without future citizens.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">And then I was back
in the apartment. Will was in there and
he pointed to a bedroom door that was partially open. He explained there was a man in there praying
about stepping up and causing a revolution against the government but he needed
to know for sure that this is what God wanted of him. I peeked in but all I could see where bent
knees, with his elbows on them and the tips of his shoes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Anyway it was an
interesting – and spooky and eerie dream.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">***********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Ellie to me just
now as I am typing: “You don’t have to worry, Mom – I cleaned all the kool-aid
up myself!” I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">**************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Yesterday, I was getting
dressed for church and as I eased myself into my spanx (compression undergarment)
Lizzie asked me, “Isn’t wearing that like telling God you’re not happy with the
body He gave you?” I wish she was a
little dumber sometimes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">************************************************</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I went scrapbooking
Friday night and the next morning I saw that my white board in the kitchen was
covered in Will’s handwriting. He had
laboriously written out the 10 Commandments, plus a couple other commandment-like
instructions from Jesus. The Littles
told me how he sat down with them while I was gone and went through them with
them and suggested that they start learning them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I asked him about
it later and he said that he had been listening to David Jeremiah on the radio
sometime recently and he had made the comment that Christians get very upset about the 10 Commandments being removed from courthouses and other public places, but yet,
most Christians don’t even have them hung in their own homes. Will said he got to thinking about that and
realized that was true of us and decided to rectify that. I had never thought about that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">It’s a good
idea. I remember a number of years ago
our church did a video series that Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort put out. The point of the series was that the 10
commandments are an integral part of salvation.
Nobody can be saved until they understand that they are a sinner. The purpose of the commandments is to point
out the sins we commit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I don’t think I
want to keep the commandments on my white board forever so maybe I should find
something decorative with the commandments on them to keep in the house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Anyway, that Will…he’s
going to be a good dad someday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">*************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Today’s Facebook post: This falls under the “ugh” and “So much for
my Mother of the Year award” categories:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When you're in a hurry and you tell your 7 yr
old to get in the van, we're going to be late… and a few minutes later you go
outside and she's messing with the back of the dirty van instead of sitting
nicely buckled in her seat like she was told-so you read her the riot act,
telling her, "I said you better get in that van RIGHT NOW!" And then
later, you happen to look in your rear view mirror and see etched in the grime
of the back window the words,"I love my mom"... don't think I can
feel much lower at the moment...</span><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And
then there’s Ben. We were leaving this
morning for his tux fitting and he looked inside his lunch bag to see what I
had packed. He took out his can of pop
turned it over and announced that he couldn’t drink it because the expiration
date was August of 2015. I explained
that the pop had not been opened and if he got another can it wouldn’t be cold
like this one was. And besides, pop is
mostly chemicals anyway, so everything is preserved already. He was having none of it and said, “I don’t
care if I have warm pop. I <b>can’t</b> drink anything expired!” Give me a break…so we were later than I wanted
to be all on account of expired pop. I
don’t know if this is just Ben or if it has to do with the autism.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">********************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well,
this is my last post, ever, for Mothering Men to Be and Misc…I’m not going to
quit writing. I need this outlet! But I’ve started a new blog that’s titled a
little more appropriately for my current life.
I’ll be putting up a link a couple of days to that. So you’ll just need to bookmark the new site
and then you can continue to follow the adventures of which my life seems to be
made. I guess with my circumstances and
this many kids it couldn’t be anything but adventurous! I like documenting this ride...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-4682186752859596532016-02-22T15:49:00.001-06:002016-02-22T15:53:05.208-06:00Day 991<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Feb. 22, 2016<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Day 991<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I made it through Valentine's Day and my wedding
anniversary...whew...<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm actually looking forward to taking down all the Valentine
decorations around here. I'm just ready
for it to be all over. Ready for
spring...and the continuation of life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here were some thoughts I wrote about Valentine's Day. A friend asked me to join a single mom's
Facebook group and the question was posed as to how everyone was handling
Valentine's. I had some thoughts:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<i><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ok, so
this may turn into a book before I'm done. Today is Valentine's Day and I've
been feeling steadily sorrier and sorrier for myself as the day has gone on. I
haven't received a single Valentine and it's likely I won't. The kids all got
theirs from me but didn't think to reciprocate - which, honestly I don't<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="textexposedshow">expect
them to. Valentines Day was always between their dad and I, although I always
bought gifts for the kids, too. And children tend to be myopic, so their first
thought is not going to be, "How can we help Mom get through another
Valentine's Day alone?" But regardless, I'm sitting at my desk trying to
write a paper on a form of critical analysis that I don't understand that well
(my first college class after 24 yrs out of the classroom) and grief, coupled
with loneliness, is prodding my soul. This is my third V Day alone and I don't
remember it bothering me like this the last 2 years. My wedding anniversary is
on the 20th so I was probably more focused on surviving that upcoming day than
worrying about Valentine's. Anyway, there's that. And then, right in the middle
of trying to decode the theories of Foucault and Derrida, I get a phone call.
It's from a lady in my Bible study, whom I don't really know. She tells me that
she heard my son, Ben, is going to prom this year and I tell her yes, that's
true. Background: (I explain about Ben
here) Thursday morning, one of his "normal" classmates asked him to
prom (after consulting with me) and it was a really sweet moment for me, as
well as exciting for Ben. Both the girl's mom and I were privileged to be
present for the asking. So this lady calls me and says, "I want to pay for
Ben's dinner that night. Will you let me do that? Ben is so special! " And
of course, I tell her yes and thank her.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<i><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I hang
up and God lets me sit for a moment. Then he prods my heart. What is
Valentine's Day about? It's love, of course. And while I no longer have a
husband to give me chocolates and gifts on this day, I have a Heavenly Father
who has been lavishing our family with gifts since my husband's death. I'm not
saying that replaces what I had with my husband. It's different and the loss
still hurts. But today I needed a reminder of just what love is. And like He
always does, God supplied. Happy Valentine's Day, Ladies!<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And then my
anniversary was two days ago. Only it's
no longer my anniversary. It's the
anniversary of my anniversary. It's
Family Day now.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And it went
fine. Nobody remembered except my
brother and my parents. And, this far
out, I don't really expect people to. But nobody understands just how painful
the day can be until they've been there.
I haven't decided yet which is worse - Feb. 20 or June 6, but they're
both pretty rough. I didn't put anything
about it on Facebook this year. More and
more I get the feeling that people think I should really be putting this behind
me now. I AM moving forward, but I don't
forget, either. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But anyway,
it was actually a very nice day. Will
took the day off work, which I didn't expect him to do. We ate lunch here at the house and then we
headed to downtown Des Moines. The
weather was <i>gorgeous</i>. The day
before it had gotten into the low sixties and Saturday was in the high fifties
with lots of sunshine. We didn't even
need our jackets. As we walked through
the downtown I was reminded of our 10th anniversary when we spent part of the
day in Walnut, Iowa going into all the antique shops. It was much colder that day, though! But the old buildings in Des Moines reminded
me of Walnut. And I couldn't help but
think what a <i>glorious</i> anniversary day we might have had Saturday if Paul was still alive and we had the day to ourselves to celebrate #23. That made me a little sad.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We went to
the Science Museum which is basically a Children's Museum with a science
emphasis. I've been there once
before. I know people that have
memberships but that doesn't appeal to me.
I wouldn't think there would be enough to see to make it worth it. We were there for one of David's birthdays, a
long, long time ago, like before Sam was born.
And they still have the same stuff!
They did have a traveling display on the subject of race, which was
interesting. The girls were too little
to really understand, although Lizzie liked watching a video which showed a
white mother not wanting her daughter to play with a black girl at the neighborhood
park. She was very clearly able to
articulate to me what was happening in the video (sadly, the next day she
commented to me that a girl at school had told her last week that she doesn't
have any friends because "you're brown." The way LIzzie told the story, it doesn't
sound like the girl was trying to be mean - rather just presenting her wrong
opinion. It just makes sick that Lizzie
is having to deal with this. I do not
know what to do - yank her out of school and go back to homeschooling? Dual enroll her in a more diverse school?
Hope that things get better with time?
Ugh...)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So anyway,
we were at the museum for a couple of hours and then we had tickets to the IMAX
theater, connected to the museum. They were showing a film on the national parks. Oh, it was neat! My desire to take the kids out west has only
increased with watching that! I want to
take them to Yellowstone and the cluster of parks that are out there. The idea of doing it alone makes me quail a
bit but in time, I think I could...<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And then we
went to Fuddruckers for supper, which is one of my favorite places to eat. Paul liked it too. In fact, he was the one who introduced me to
that restaurant a long, long time ago.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then we
came home and watched my wedding video.
Yes, we did. Arien suggested it
and I thought about it. I've thought
about watching it numerous times since Paul's death but never thought I
could. But she said something about it
that morning and as I thought about it, I realized that it just felt <i>right.</i> And it was.
I didn't tear up or anything - just enjoyed it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And thus,
our third annual Family Day came to an end and is deemed successful. One of these years I'd like to do another
overnight trip like we did that first year.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">***********************************<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I got my
second explanatory essay grade back - another 15 out of 15 possible
points. Now I'm worried - is she an easy
grader and I'm really not as good at this as my grade would suggest? At the end of that essay I referenced the
quote, "The pen is mightier than the sword" and in her comments, my
professor said, "And you, Sarah, have a very mighty pen!" Aww...she knows how to stroke where I feel it
most! I turned in a paper today on the
feminist view of critical analysis. I
actually learned quite a bit from this chapter of the book. I'm seeing that feminism is not necessarily
only the belief that"women are superior and men are dogs." That's definitely a component of it - blaming
men for every ill ever befallen to womankind.
But some forms of feminism also have to do with respecting the
differences between men and women and working to make life better for ALL of
humanity, regardless of gender. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So I wrote
this nice paper about feminism today and turned it in. Then, a few minutes ago I sat down to work on
my Bible study lesson and this chapter has to do with the ERA and is in fact,
saying that there is no way Christianity and feminism can be reconciled. So now I'm worried that maybe I just betrayed
my faith by buying in, at least a little bit, to the feminist theory of
critical analysis! Ugh.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">*****************************************<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Will got
his grade for the paper I helped him with a couple of weeks ago - 100%. Yay, me! He said the teacher commented that
he "obviously has a good grasp of critical analysis." That
made us both laugh! Someone has a
good grasp of it, but it sure isn't Will...<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Actually,
that paper was kind of a pivitol point for Will as he determines which
endorsements to pursue. He's been
thinking he'll go for English but after seeing what all is required and how his
mind is not naturally bent that direction, he's decided instead to pursue a
Social Studies endorsement which will encompass history, geography, and
economics. Of course, he still has to
get through rest of the semester in British Lit, though!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This
semester he has to put in 40 hours of classroom time, half at an elementary
school and half at a high school. He
spent one day a couple of weeks ago with his old football coach in his math
classroom. Last Friday he spent all day
with Ben's special ed teachers. He came
home absolutely <i>bubbling</i> with enthusiasm and told me that he had learned
more in that one day than he had learned so far all semester. The teachers sat down with him and showed him
everything - how the salary scale works, state and federal requirements for
special ed (teachers are only allowed to have so many students under their
care, dependent on severity of disability), IEPs - everything. They told him what classes to take at college
now and which ones to save for when he'd go for his Masters (which sounds like
is something all teachers get at some point or another). They had him meet with the middle school special ed teachers who were equally
enthusiastic when they realized Will was Ben's brother. Later, I wrote a thank you email to Ben's
teachers and one wrote me back and said she is so excited that Will is
considering special education, although she has no doubt he'd be successful in
any type of classroom. She said she's
always thought very highly of him ever since she heard him speak at Paul's
funeral.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In my mind,
if Will does become a special education teacher (and I'm not pushing it - he
needs to pursue how God leads, not how Mom does) it would be <i>redemptive</i>
in a way - a way of bringing good out of the terrible events of Ben's
birth. Although, I guess I have Ben's
life for that as ultimate redemption.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">*******************************<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And
speaking of Ben...yesterday was a nice enough day that David dug his bike out
of the garage so Ben could ride around town.
Ben's bike is an adapted model - basically, an overgrown tricyle. Ben came home awhile later complaining that
he had been going down a hill when the brakes went out and he crashed, as a
result. He rubbed his elbow, so I looked
at it and it did look banged up, but the skin wasn't broken.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, later
that night Ben was in the bathroom when I heard him hollering wildly for
me. I ran to the room and there he stood
stark naked, pointing to his hip. I
handed him a towel while I bandaged up this huge, raw swath of skin on his
upper leg. He also needed a band aid on
his butt. Then I found a chunk of skin
had been wiped away on top of his shoulder on that same side of the body. I guess he <i>did</i> wipe out! I got him all bandaged up and then Ben says,
"Ok, thanks. I'm going to take my
shower now."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What?! Oh, I could have pulled my hair out. Why did he let me go to all that work when he
knew he hadn't bathed yet?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">David
looked at the bike and isn't sure if its repairable. I'll have Will take a look. We got it from an organization that services
the handicapped. I may have to call them
if it's not fixable and see what they want to do. We didn't have to pay for the bike, so I
don't know if they would want me to pay for repairs or just turn it in and get
a different one. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">*********************************<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ellie had a
much better week last week, behavior-wise.
Of course, she wasn't feeling the greatest all week long. She wasn't quite sick enough to be in bed,
but her appetite was off, she was really tired, and she sported a fever, off
and on. So, she probably didn't feel
well enough to be too terribly bad. But,
I did start her Obedience Chart with her, too, and she does seem awfully
motivated to earn her stickers and rewards.
So, maybe it's working! Time will
tell, I guess.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I was doing
laundry one day and after I took out a load of dry clothes, Ellie excitedly
announced, "I want to get out the pus!" She repeated it several times and I did not
know <b>what</b> she was talking about, other than it sounded really
gross. Well, she was wanting to clean
the lint filter. She mixed up,
"pus" with "lint."
How that can happen, I really don't know...<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She was
helping me cook one day last week and when I got out the eggs, she exclaimed,
"Hey - these look just like chicken eggs!" Not sure what kind of eggs she thinks I've
been cooking with all this time...<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">***************************************<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ben watched
the Republican debate last week. I
didn't even do that. At one point I
asked him how the debate was going and Ben replied, "Oh, that Donald Trump
- he's such a whiner!" He told me
some other things and then said finally, "I think he's worse than Jeb
Bush!" It made me laugh.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">*****************************************<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And
finally,..this is sad, but it also serves as a good reminder to me that no
matter how rough my own life may seem at times, it could always be worse.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A Facebook
friend posted a GoFundMe link with a note telling us that this family is real,
as is their need. I read the page and
was absolutely horrified and saddened.
There is this homeschooling family here in the U.S, who have 9
children. One has Downs Syndrome and was
adopted from the Ukraine. The picture posted shows all the girls in the family
wearing denim skirts (of course). Very
conservative very Godly home...one would think.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Except, a
few weeks ago one of the children told her mom that Dad had been sexually
abusing her for years. And then Mom
discovers that it wasn't just one child, but several. And the abuse had been
happening for <b>Thirteen years.</b> Here is where I have the utmost respect
for this woman: she could have ignored this new knowledge. She could have attempted to justify it. She knew that by calling the police her
family would be shamed and open to scrutiny.
They would lose the only income the family had. But the very next day she did just that and
her husband still sits in jail today. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And its
tough. At the time of the writing of the
GoFundMe page by a family friend, this family had $95 to their name. Mom's marriage is (assumedly) over, her
children are in pain, and their entire family has just been sent through a meat
grinder. In short order, the kids need
therapy, Mom needs a job, and the family needs peace and healing. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The
GoFundMe page is doing well. I'm glad to
see that a lot of Christians are responding to this legitimate need.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But, oh,
the hurt of this family. Their last name
is Silva. Be in prayer as you think of
it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And on a
personal level, may their story serve as a reminder to me that I have been protected
from an awful lot.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">**********************************<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well,
that's it for now. I'm going to be
spending a lot of time this week at the computer, but it won't be on
blogging. Lots of papers to crank out in
the next few days!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And
speaking of blogging - I'll have a big announcement next week. Well, in the scheme of life, it's not really
not that huge. But it's time for a
change. Details are coming, forthwith! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<form>
</form>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-75151017734057809372016-02-13T16:42:00.000-06:002016-02-13T16:53:17.341-06:00Day 982<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">February 13, 2016<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Day 982<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";"><i>Friday</i></span></b></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">The kids didn't have school
today. I really wonder how I managed to
homeschool as long as I did. I've been
ready to put them to bed since about 11 this morning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Well, life has been busy lately. And I don't foresee any real slowdown. My class will be wrapping up in the next
couple weeks. That means I have four
papers and a power point presentation left to do. Not quite sure when I'm going to get them all
done. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">But, I did get the grade back on my
first paper and was completely stunned to learn I had been given 15 out of 15
possible points. I seriously about fell
over when I saw that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">But now I feel this <i>pressure</i>
to do that well with all my other papers!
I'm afraid I'm going to be crushed if I don't score well on them,
too! I expressed that to Will and he
nodded and said he totally understood that.
He said he observes other students slacking off and it's so tempting as
he realizes what he could get away with.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">He came home one afternoon this
week and told me, "I need help!"
I never hear that from him! So,
of course, I was all ears. Well, he had
to write a paper for his English class and he was pretty lost. The subject matter - applying critical
analysis to a classic piece of literature - is exactly what my class has been
all about! We were able to get it all
done by bedtime. Will sat back on my bed
and exclaimed, "It would have taken me <i>days</i> to get done what you
were able to just whip out there!"
That made me feel good. He's
going to help me with my power point presentation that's due in two weeks. I'm figuring out that our professor just
assumes we all know how to make one of those.
I have no clue how to do one. He
said he'll help me when I do my math class, too. I think I had better schedule that for when
Will still lives at home...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">So...it's been almost two weeks
since I last wrote. What has happened in
that time?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Let's see...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">We had another racial incident on
the bus again. Grr...Actually, it was
kind of funny. Well, this part was: the
kids got home from school one day and Sam came into the house sputtering. He came up to me in the kitchen and said,
"I'm not going to stand for anyone bullying my sister!" Awww...just melted my heart! Then, Lizzie tried to tell me what had
happened and Sam is standing there literally elbowing her out of the way and
hollering, "Let me tell her, Lizzie!" and it kind of cracked me up
because he had just informed me that he wasn't going to let her be bullied, but
he, apparently, has no problem with knocking her out of the way when the
occasion arises!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">It was two little mean girls on the
bus this time. So, once again, I
complained to the principal via email and he got right on it. He told me these girls are nothing but trouble,
which lines up with what the kids have told me about them. We got written apologies from the girls and I
was impressed that the principal had the girls write to Sam, too, because he
was also offended. Lizzie said the
principal had her meet with the girls and explained to them that chickens have
all sorts of colors of eggs, but they all have yellow yolks - or something like
that. Anyway, she thought that was a
pretty cool analogy for differing skin colors.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Maybe this is just something that
is going to rear its ugly head from time to time because it's an all-white
school. Or maybe, as people get to know
the girls, it will cease to happen. I
don't know. But I find it pretty
disgusting, although I am thankful for the principal's willingness to deal with
this. He told me to never be hesitant to
contact him with stuff like this. At the
same time, I don't want him groaning every time he sees my name in his in
box. I don't want to be a whiny parent
complaining every time her child's feelings get trampled on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">He did tell me that, in his
opinion, Sam and Lizzie have really "come far" this school year
academically and socially (their social skills were just fine to begin with,
thank you) and it's obvious that they have been trained to speak kindly and
treat others well. That made me feel
good! At least in public, my kids are
behaving and being nice!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">And then last Saturday night was
Single Parent Provision night. When I
picked up the kids one of the workers asked me, "Can you bring them every
time? They are just the <i>nicest</i>
children!" Ahhh...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Still lots of work to do, of
course. Ellie is at the top of the list
right now. I don't know if it's her or
if it's her age or what. The lying is
almost a daily thing now and the disobedience...oh, my goodness. I just bought an oil diffuser for their room
and Ellie had strict instructions to not touch it at all. No sooner would I leave the room after
spanking her for touching it and she'd be messing with it again. I think we went through that three times
today before I gave up and moved the diffuser somewhere else where she couldn't
touch it - which negates any lesson I wanted her to learn. Will had some coffee/chocolate Starbucks
drink (I think Arien is slowly converting him) sitting on the counter from last
night (the two of them went ice skating - while it snowed...so romantic) and
Ellie took it upon herself to microwave the drink and it exploded all over the
microwave and the floor. And I am
wondering<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">How does she know how to
operate the microwave?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Argh! But I actually have an idea. I just need the time to implement it. I spent considerable time one morning this
week praying about Ellie's lying. I'm kind
of at my wit's end. I don't know what to
do because I feel like I've tried everything to convince her that truth telling
is infinitely more preferable than
filthy lying but she's not buying it. So
I was telling God this and praying for wisdom one morning. Then I sat down at my computer to check my
email and the very first email my eyes saw was a blog I follow sometimes. It had the word, "character badges"
in the message line so I clicked on it.
Well, the lady who writes this
blog was advertising something her husband has come up with and they sell some sort of badges for good character you use with your kids. What caught my eye were some pictures of
charts. And suddenly I remembered when I
was potty training Will and David. I
made up reward charts for them because they weren't too motivated to use the
toilet unless there was something in it for them. We called them their, "poop
charts." I think I still have
them! Anyway, they worked like a charm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">I knew there was something with
those charts I could use but it didn't click until a couple of hours
later. I could make "good
behavior" charts for Ellie! Just
like the poop charts, she'd get rewards for entire days with no bad
behavior. If she goes three days, then
there will be a small reward and then we'll start over again and shoot for five
or six days and then we'll go for a longer period of time, eventually leading
up to a "big" prize. As I
recall with Will and David, their big reward was to go to Burger King with a
play area and they got to order whatever food they wanted. Of course, unlike the boys' charts, I'll
still discipline when she doesn't have a day where she gets a sticker to put on
the charts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Maybe this will work - I hope.
There is a big part of me that resists the idea of bribing my child to
obey. That ought to happen out of
willing heart and if the heart isn't willing, then it should at least be done
out of fear of consequences. But, I don't have any other ideas. I'm not ordering from this company, though. This is something I can make on my own. I just thought it was interesting that I had
literally <i>just</i> prayed about the situation when I saw the email. It seems like an answer to prayer, anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Saturday<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">I woke up at 5 with a
migraine. Ugh. It was so bad I was awake again an hour later
with the same headache. I'm already on
pill 3 and it's only 10:30 in the morning.
Typically, I'll see some relief by late afternoon. That seems to be the pattern with these
headaches that beset me while I'm sleeping.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Ben has a date for prom. This is one of those things where I just sit
back and marvel at God's goodness and the way He has things planned out long
before I even begin to think about them.
I've known about this since last fall, but it all came together this
week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Ben had informed me at the
beginning of the school year that he had every intention of going to prom this
year. I immediately began to think of
everything that could go wrong with that idea.
But he was adamant, even when I suggested that he attend A Night to
Shine (a local special needs prom held in the Des Moines area every year) as an
alternative. He wanted to go to his
school's prom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">And then last fall, his teacher
approached me with the news that not one, but <b>two</b>, "normal"
students had asked her. separately, if
she thought Ben's mom would be willing to let him attend prom as her date. One of the girls I knew, so I was comfortable
having her accompany him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">And then, like I said, this week it
all came together. This sweet girl,
Deidra, texted me last week with some ideas of dresses she was considering(I
encouraged her to go modest - hope she does!).
And then her mom texted me. We
met Monday afternoon after school, Deidra, her mom, and stepdad, and hashed out
how we'd do everything. Then, Thursday
was the big asking day. Ben's teachers
were in on it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">
Apparently, the "asking" of someone to prom is almost as big
of an event as the night itself. They're
called, "promposals," even.
I'm slightly rolling my eyes. As
I recall, the way I got asked to my senior prom was my boyfriend saying,
"You're going with me, right?"
Times have changed. So, Deidra
asked her mom and me to be there. We
snuck into the classroom. Ben didn't
seem to question it too much. I told him
I'd brought him his hat since he had forgotten it (he really did) and then I
told him I had an appointment at the insurance office in town (I really did)
and was killing time until I needed to go to that. He accepted it without question and continued
to work on his math with his teacher.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Then, Deidra (who had already told
me how nervous she was) asked Ben to help her with some papers. So, Ben followed her over to a table. Jennifer (her mom) and I tried to
unobtrusively follow, our phones in hand, ready to snap pictures of the
moment. Deidra began to lay out sheets
of papers, each with a different letter on them, spelling out, "Will U Go
to Prom with me?" Only, Ben misread
it and slowly said out loud, "Will you go to Rome with me?" It was funny!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">And of course he said yes and it
was sweet. Jennifer videod it all. She's a very excitable and emotional person -
which is fine. I'm emotional but I keep
it tamped down most of the time! I
probably come off as un-emotional, as a result, to others. I think I took three
or four pictures. But by that evening,
she had posted the videos and pictures to my Facebook wall, all excited. I had no intention of doing anything like
that. But it's ok. I am very touched by Deidra and her family's
enthusiasm for making this night special for Ben. She could easily have chosen to go to prom
with a "normal" classmate - one that won't need help with his zipper,
or bounce down the runway during walk-in, one that could potentially turn into
a boyfriend, or one that won't tire out and go home before After Prom. But she chose Ben because she likes him and because
she wanted to give him a night that he can remember the rest of his life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">I'll never forget that and I'll
always be so grateful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Man, has God been good to us! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">I tried something new last
weekend...and everyone who knows me is
aware that this does not normally
happen, particularly when it involves food.
I was just out to eat with a friend a couple of weeks ago, ordered my
food (chicken parm at Olive Garden) and she laughed and said, "I knew
before we got here what you were having!"
I don't like surprises and what if I order something new and I don't
like it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">But, Des Moines just opened up
their second Zombie Burger restaurant out at Jordan Creek mall around
Christmastime. I've heard good things
about it and have been interested in trying it.
But the lines are always long and I have no idea what kind of food they
have other than, presumably, burgers. I
hate trying new things and I especially dislike ordering at the counter when I
don't already know what it is I want. I
feel pressured to make a snappy order. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">So, last Sat. evening I was out at
the mall for Single Parent Provision. I
needed some dinner and I wandered around, but nothing else sounded good. I really wanted to try Zombie Burger. But on a Saturday night, when half of Des
Moines is at the mall already? When the
line stretches clear around the corner?
I told myself I'd try it some other time during the week when it wasn't
so hectic. But I really kind of wanted
to try it <i>that</i> night. I finally
told myself, "Look here - how many new things have you managed to try and
succeed at the last 2 1/2 years? How can
ordering something from a new restaurant be any harder than what you've already
done?" True. So I got in line. Well, first I sat down and with my handy
iphone, I perused their on-line menu.
So, I least had an idea of what I might want to try. Then I got in line.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">I got a friendly teenage girl to
take my order and I explained to her that this was my first visit. She walked me through the ordering process
and I came away with a "Walking Ched" burger, fries, and drink. Holy buckets...I think you're paying for the
novelty of ordering from a place designed to look like the set of a horror movie.
I paid $13 for all of that - and my Coke was a small, even!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">But, oh my goodness...let me tell
you about the Walking Ched burger...It's a patty covered in caramelized onions
(most of which I picked off), cheese, and bacon. This is sandwiched between not a bread bun,
but a bun made out of fried cheese, stuffed with macaroni and cheese. Messy, definitely...but so, so good...I sure
was glad I stepped out of my Chik-fil-A, Taco John comfort zone and tried
something new!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Afterwards, I had no shopping I
needed to do, so I went over to Barnes and Noble into their coffee shop area,
curled up in a chair, and spent my time reading, "Redeeming Love"
which I am doing my final paper for my class on. It was a very satisfactory way to spend my
break time!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">I changed my house and auto
insurance company. For some reason, this
struck me as a very, "grown up" kind of decision. Paul always took care of that kind of
stuff. I just co-signed the papers with
him. Even after he died and I had to
switch everything over to my name I didn't change coverage (except to buy life
insurance for me) or companies. But I
know I've written before how unhappy I
am with my health insurance. The
premiums and co-pays just keep going up and up and up. And I hardly ever go to the doctor,
anyway! Not that that couldn't change in
a hurry, if I got sick or hurt. Which is
why I have to have some sort of insurance.
Plus, I would get fined if I don't have it, thanks to Obamacare.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">So, I started doing some looking
around. I actually prayed before hopping
on Google. And wouldn't you know it, the
very first website I clicked on popped up with Dave Ramsey's picture on
it! It turns out that they are the <i>only</i>
Dave Ramsey licensed ELP in the metro.
So, I called them and the agent actually advised me to stick with
my current health plan, expensive as it is.
The agent I spoke with is a Christian, homeschooling dad and his
secretary is a former homeschooling mom (her kids are all graduated). In fact, years ago I talked with her when I
needed to find a supervising teacher.
Small world! He said that the next
election will have a lot to do with what happens in the world of health
insurance and all we can do right is sit tight and see what happens. But, he offered to get me a quote for my
house and vehicles and I figured, why
not? He got me better coverage for $350
less a year. Sold! Of course, I felt really guilty when I
contacted my other agent to let her know I was switching...Paul wouldn't have
felt guilty. He would have just done
it. But I'm a girl and I feel things and
I overthink things. But I'm also going
to be a girl with $350 more in my pocket this year!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">And to finish with a few
funnies. By the way, my headache has
finally lifted (it's now 4pm - right on schedule). Maybe I'll be able to get a start on that paper
after all. I'm going to write about the
deconstructionalist theory of critical analysis. Sounds complicated, which it sort of is. It's basically the idea that things are not
always what they seem in literature. For
example, if someone wrote about getting chocolates and flowers, the reader
might assume they were from their boyfriend or husband as a way of showing love
(this reminds me of something - I'll write it in a minute). But, the deconstructionalist theory says,
"Wait a minute..." The candy and
flowers <i>could</i> be a guilt offering because the guy has just cheated on
the gal to whom he sent the flowers.
Basic idea, anyway. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">I think next week's paper will be
written on the feminist viewpoint. We
talked about that this week in class and boy, did the "poor me"
whiners come out in full force in my all-female class. A couple of times I had to interject that you
know, men don't have it all that easy, either.
My perspective seemed to intrigue the professor, as she asked me several
questions about it. I'm sure they don't
want to know everything I was thinking!
The second half of our lecture was about the gay/lesbian/queer analysis
and boy, did I just have to be quiet. I
was in a room full of pro-homosexuality sympathizers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Alright, I think I promised some
funnies:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">First, last week for my class we
had an assignment to watch and analyze a superbowl commercial using the
semiotic form of critical analysis. I
wasn't about to sit through the game just to see commercials. But the night before David showed me one on
youtube. It was the sonogram Doritos
commercial where the dad is eating Doritos in the ultrasound room, much to his
wife's disgust. But the baby likes it
and it's quickly obvious the baby is reaching for the Dorito. Irritated, the mom grabs the chip and lets
it fly past her feet. Whereupon, the
baby suddenly decides to make a dash for
the Dorito. Sam watched it with me and
asked what was happening. I told him the
baby decided to be born in order to get the chip. Sam then asked, "Well, how did he get
out?" I explained in kid-friendly
terms and Sam's mouth dropped open. He
exclaimed, "Well, <b>that</b> had to hurt!"
We were all dying!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">I was at the bank this week, making
the city's deposit. All the tellers in
there always make such a big deal out of Ellie.
I usually go after picking her up from preschool. We were leaving, but not out the door yet,
when Ellie asked me, "Why did she call me a 'cutie patootie'?" I told her the teller was just saying she was
cute and Ellie protested, "But she called me a <i>tootie</i>!" "Toot" is our word for passing
gas...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">One day this week when I picked
Ellie up from preschool her teacher came up to me and related what had
happened. She was still laughing. She said it was snack time and she was passing
out the treats and water and every other kid was demanding more snacks and
another cup of water. She said Ellie finally exclaimed in
exasperation, "Do you people think she has <b>fourteen</b> hands?!"
(There are 14 kids in the class). I know
exactly where she learned that, too...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Oh, and back to the candy and
flowers...Yesterday, Arien sent me a message, "Do you know what your son
did?" I hoped it was something
good... She then sent a picture of the front seat of her car. She had come out after work to find candy and
flowers. I told her it was apparent that
Will had inherited or at least learned, his dad's romantic bent...I found the
same thing in my vehicles many times when we were together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Being loved makes for many
good memories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Happy Valentine's Day!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";"><br />
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: -8.25pt; margin-right: -6.75pt; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: -8.25pt; margin-right: -6.75pt; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: -8.25pt; margin-right: -6.75pt; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: -8.25pt; margin-right: -6.75pt; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: -8.25pt; margin-right: -6.75pt; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: -8.25pt; margin-right: -6.75pt; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: -8.25pt; margin-right: -6.75pt; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: -8.25pt; margin-right: -6.75pt; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-16723071504148238242016-01-31T22:28:00.002-06:002016-01-31T22:34:27.201-06:00Day 969<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">January 31,
2016<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Day 969<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Well, it
did come. And I got through it. Not without tears, but I wasn't a sobbing
mess like I was afraid I would be. I
didn't stand up to give a testimony, because that would have been pointless - I
would have just cried into the microphone.
But I wrote Pastor and Marcia a letter this week and found a card at
Hobby Lobby that said something to the effect of, "Heaven is going to be
the best place ever because there will never be any good-byes." I had each of the kids sign it. I did nearly lose it after church,
though. Pastor was actually <i>sick</i>
today and couldn't be there (of all the days!) but Marcia and most of her
family were there. They had her and kids
line up in the foyer after church, like she and Pastor would do every single
Sunday. And a couple of her kids hugged
me and then Marcia wrapped her arms around me and I leaned my forehead on hers
and she said (like she has every single time she's seen me since Paul's death),
"I love you, Sarah" and I couldn't say a word back, but just closed
my eyes and nodded my head.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">But then,
fortunately, I think it was time for the potluck meal and I was suddenly
surrounded by needy children demanding to know who got to sit where and why
couldn't we eat <i>now</i> and why did we have to wait in line, and why
couldn't they go sit with their friends and would I please tell their sibling
to stop breathing on them and if I was going to cry then it was going to be for
an entirely different reason!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Afterwards,
I finally got loaded up. Will rode with
Arien because she was coming to our house for rest of the afternoon and
evening. I got halfway down the road and
I suddenly realized David wasn't in the van!
I don't think I've ever forgotten a child before, so I'm not going to
beat myself up too badly. Like David
said, morosely, when I sped back to church to retrieve him, "After all, I'm just the third child..."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Actually,
it worked out well because I guess he was wanting to tell Marcia good-bye and
me forgetting him gave him a few extra minutes to do so<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">We came
home and after I dealt with Ellie (a regular occurrence lately) we all watched,
"War Room." I love that
movie! It meant more tears for me, of
course...I'm feeling a bit wrung out by now, actually.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Ellie is
still being...Ellie. On top of the many,
many lying incidents (although today she actually told me the truth right away
- she pointed out to me - when I found lipstick scribbled all over a bedroom
chair...I guess I'll give her points where I can) she's showing a great desire
to be large and in charge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">There have
been a couple of times in recent weeks where's she's put her hands on her hips
and informed me, "You're not the boss of me!" I wish I was a better mom. It seems to me like a good mom would just
smile sweetly and let things like that sail over her head. Instead, I hear that and it sounds like a
challenge to me, so much so that I turn around and say things like, "Uh,
wanna bet?" <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Yesterday
morning we were in a hurry to leave for Woodward so Ben could participate in
Sp. Olympics. Ellie was dragging her
feet so I told her to grab a poptart for breakfast. She said she wanted some orange juice to go
with it. I told her that there wasn't
time for that and to just get some water.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Oh. My.
Goodness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">You would
think I had just proposed we forget her
birthday this year, throw away all her toys, and make her wear boy clothes from
now on. It turned into this screaming
fit<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">I want
orange juice</span></i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">!! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";"> You're not getting orange juice. Drink some water.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">I want
ORANGE JUICE!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">You'd
better hurry up. We're leaving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">I SAID, I
want <b>ORANGE JUICE!!!</b></span></i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Lizzie
looked at me and asked, "Wouldn't it be quicker to just give her some
juice?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Yep. I explained to her that it is important that
I "win" all these confrontations that Ellie seems to wish to engage
in lately. But honestly and lately, it sure doesn't feel like winning overly
much...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">But, I am
hopeful that this is just a stage of learning and that, rather than envisioning stripes and jail cells in Ellie's future, I just need to hang on for this bumpy
part of her growing. She may be
genuinely delightful in another couple of years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">I hope.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Tomorrow is
caucus day. I had not planned to go this
year, ever since I found out BVU has their classes on Monday and Thursday
nights. But this term, my professor is
only having us meet on Thursdays. But I
still wasn't going to go because I went the last two or three times and they
were kind of boring and crowded. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">But then
after going to the Cruz rally last weekend I felt kind of guilty about that so
I decided I would go. But this time I'm
not taking the kids. Will will join me
when he gets off work. I really do want
to see Cruz win this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Or I want
to see Trump defeated. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Either view
works for me, I guess!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">We have
just been inundated with ads. I see
friends complaining about getting 20-30 political calls in a single day but I
haven't gotten a single one. I do
occasionally get telemarketers on my cell phone, but I guess my number isn't on
too many lists yet. But every single day
for the past couple of weeks I've been throwing away probably 5-8 political
</span>fliers<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";"> that come in the mail. And the
commercials...oh, my goodness...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Carly
Fiorina has a radio ad that has a line in it that's been driving me nuts all
week. I'm not against her as a candidate
- I really don't know all that much about her.
But this one radio ad lists her accomplishments and tucked right in the
middle of a recitation of the most impressive, is, "And Carly fought
cancer and <i>won</i>!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">What? How is that an accomplishment? The ad makes it sound like she beat it by
sheer force of will. Cancer couldn't
stand up to her, by golly! I recognize
that a good, positive attitude can have a lot to do with how a person's body
responds to medical crises, but nobody beats cancer on attitude alone! I can think of two friends who had great
attitudes throughout their entire cancer ordeals and the both still died. So that commercial bugs me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">And then
another one this week was anti-Cruz and that's not why I didn't like it. But in the ad, the complaint is that Ted Cruz
<b>doesn't tithe.</b> How on earth would
someone know that? That's between a
person, God, and the church treasurer.
And even if he doesn't tithe, what possible bearing does that have on a
political campaign? To be perfectly
honest, I'm pretty sure there's a real paucity of tithing candidates in any
political race anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">And then
yesterday I was doing a complicated style on Lizzie's head which meant several
hours of work (broken up - I'd do a couple rows of twists and then we'd break
for awhile). So I parked the stool in
the living room in front of the </span>tv<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">. Over
and over and over again Hilary Clinton ads ran.
I wanted to throw something at the </span>tv<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">.
One ad would show Hilary unabashedly proclaiming that she was,
"pro-choice, pro-marriage equality, and pro-</span>healthcare<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">" and proud of
it and the next would be one where she claims to have invested her life into
fighting for children - making sure they have hope for a better future and
access to all of life's possibilities.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">It doesn't
work both ways. You don't say you're for
baby murdering in one ad and pro-child in the next.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">What a
wicked woman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">What a
wicked world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Sam said
last week one of the boys in his class was talking about how he hoped Bernie
Sanders would win. Sam said he so badly
wanted to tell this boy that he really "ought to consider Cruz" (his
words) instead, but he didn't have the courage!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">I suppose
if nothing else, my ranting shows that these ads are working since I remember
them and because they raise my blood pressure enough to elicit a response from
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Well,
tomorrow night it will all be over. All
the candidates and media will be headed for New Hampshire. After that primary, we'll see more than one
candidate give a tearful speech in which he or she thanks God, his supporters,
his staff, and his family and intones that it's "just not his time"
and the field will be narrowed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">That is, if
they can get out of Iowa that night.
We've got a blizzard moving in.
They're saying Monday night should be ok, but a blizzard warning goes
into effect at 3am on Tuesday for much of the state, including central
Iowa. So they may all be stranded for
awhile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">For some,
probably mischievous, reason, that thought makes me smile!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">*****************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Yesterday,
on the way up to Woodward for Ben's event, I had my mp3 player plugged into the
van's radio and was listening to my music (have I mentioned how much I <b>love</b>
having a smart phone? It is so amazing
to have all kinds of tools in one single gadget! And a couple of weeks ago I got my first
regular bill after paying off the new device fees and it was a full $38 less
than I've been paying the last two years.
Awesome!). Ellie finally quit screaming about orange juice when we got
to the by-pass, 10 minutes from home. A
long ten minutes. So, then I could
actually listen to music. The song,
"Sweet Lorraine" came on. I
remember mentioning this song in a blog post that first summer that Paul was
dead. I still love the song. It was written by a 94 year old widower about
his wife. He submitted it, handwritten,
to a radio station that was having a song-writing promotion and they liked it
so much they had it professionally recorded for him. The simple song goes,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "century gothic";">Oh Sweet Lorraine<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></i><i><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "century gothic";"><br />
<span style="background: white;">I wish we could do<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
<span style="background: white;">The good times<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></i><i><span style="font-family: "century gothic";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<i><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "century gothic";">All over again<br />
<br />
Oh sweet Lorraine<br />
Life only goes around<br />
Once<br />
But never again<br />
<br />
Oh sweet Lorraine<br />
I wish we could do<br />
All the good times all over<br />
Again<span class="t402-elided-ellipsis">...<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "century gothic";">Lizzie wanted to know the explanation for the song's lyrics and
I told her what he was saying. She
commented that if the author could go back, then maybe he could tell his wife
when she was going to die and then they could do something to avoid it from
happening.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "century gothic";">Her words immediately began to cause my own mind to start
spinning and I began to think what life would be like if <b>I </b>could go back
and "do the good times all over again." I thought of the ways I would have been a
better wife and a better mom. I thought
of words I never would have said and things I would have said more often. If I could go back, I would have made sure
that Paul never fell asleep the night of June 5th. I would have held his hand and talked to him
all night long just so he'd still be awake when dawn came - and he'd still be
alive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "century gothic";">But as quickly as I had those thoughts I also thought of other
things I would have done. There were
things that Paul occasionally said or did that I would not have tolerated if I went back
in time. I would have stood up for
myself more in some areas - like with his parents. And then, if I had done that, that might
have led to <i>other</i> relationship problems that we never had because I was
quiet instead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "century gothic";">So, maybe it's a good thing that life "only goes around
once, but never again."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "century gothic";">*********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "century gothic";">This week Ellie made a comment about wishing she had a dad. It nearly ripped my heart out to hear her say
that. I wrote about it on Facebook because it was gnawing at me and I knew I could write something worthwhile about the incident. And I put a positive
spin on it because nobody ever knows how to respond when you post negative
things. And, also, writing what I did
(I'll include it below) was actually an encouragement to me because I wrote
truth. It's what I believe and I needed
to remind myself of that truth in that moment when I was feeling only hurt for
my baby girl.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "century gothic";">This was my Facebook post:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">"I wish I had a dad."
Ellie's matter-of-fact, out-of-the blue statement whipped right through my
heart as we stood at the counter together this afternoon, she making her
sandwich and me preparing supper. "Why do you wish that?" I asked and
my 4 year old replied that everybody else she knows has one. I nodded. It makes
sense. Her memories of her fathers - Paul, as well as the man who fostered her
in infancy - are faint, if existent at all. Once again, I feel helpless<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="textexposedshow">to assuage
this hurt in the hearts of my children, a pain that differs for each. I am
reminded that no matter how good of a mother I am, I will never replace what
they have lost. I point them to God who has promised to father the fatherless
but it's not the same as having a daddy in the home who can wrap his big arms
around them and love them like only a father can do. I can remind them of God's
sovereignty, care, and provision - but it doesn't change the fact that a hole
exists in our family.</span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">It isn't fixable - but it is
bearable. My children are learning early the truth of John 16:33 - "In
this world you will have many troubles..." Life won't be all pain-free.
Sometimes it's not fair. Hearts break. All I can do is faithfully point them to
the second half of that verse, "But rejoice - for I have overcome the
world!" It's temporary. Someday, all wrongs will be righted, we'll be free
of these heavy shackles, and good-byes will never again be uttered.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Hope abounds.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">This has still been on my mind,
several days out, and then today, God spoke to my heart. It was such a clear thought that I have no
doubt where it came from. I heard Him
say to me, "Don't you think that if I wanted your children to have a father
- if they needed to have one - they would?
Do you really think I am going to withhold something from them that they </span><b style="color: #141823; font-family: 'Century Gothic';">need</b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">?" My mind immediately went to Matthew 7:9 where
Jesus says, "What man among you, if his son asks for bread, will give him
a stone?" No decent human parent
would do something like that, of course.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">And God won't either. In my humanness and in my deep love for my
kids, all I see is the hurt and loss. I
see the articles on the importance of fatherhood and I see kids out at the mall
perched on their daddy's shoulders and I get fliers from school advertising an
upcoming Daddy-daughter dance and I feel so terrible for my children that they
don't have someone to fill that place in their heart. I see my inadequacy as a single parent and know
that I will never, ever be able to make up for that loss in their lives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">But God knows. There are far greater happenings right now
than I can possibly imagine. My kids
don't have a dad right now because ...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Well, I don't know the reason,
actually. But God does and He is bigger
than all the hurt that surrounds us because of this loss.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">And once again, we're back to
trust. For nearly a thousand days I've
been pouring words out of a broken and now-healing heart and all of them boil
down to really just four words.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";">Will I trust Him?<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "century gothic";"><br />
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-52388536555045385742016-01-24T22:09:00.000-06:002016-01-24T22:09:04.247-06:00Day 962<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">January 24, 2016<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Day 962<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<i><u><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Saturday<o:p></o:p></span></u></i></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I had to buy a new
dvd player for my bedroom this week and
I've been tripping over it for the past 3 days.
I figured I'd have to catch Will at a rare, non-busy moment and ask him
to hook it up. David wandered into my
room a little bit ago and said, "Hey, I can hook that up for you" and proceeded to do so. He's getting more
and more useful around here!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">***********************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Oh, I'm
tired...today was busy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Remember in my
last post I kind of jokingly said I need to get Ben to a Ted Cruz event? Well, Monday, my friend Mari texted me and
said, "Hey, I just read your blog and guess what? Ted will be here on Sat!" So, I immediately sat down and ordered 7
(free) tickets, thinking we'd all go.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I asked Will if he
thought Arien would be interested in going, too, but he didn't think it would
work out because her brother was going to be visiting all weekend. But, as it turns out, she was very interested
in going. When I attempted to get her a
ticket Thurs. night I found there was a waiting list. Hmmm....but then she had the idea that maybe
her mom could watch Ellie and she could take that ticket - which sounded great
to me. I didn't think Ellie would
mind. Arien has two little sisters, so
the girls would enjoy some playtime. And
then the next day Tammy messaged me and suggested that I bring Lizzie over,
too, and then Jonathan could take that ticket.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Perfect!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So, we made the
kid exchange late this morning and then we all ate lunch in the van and I drove
up to Ankeny. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Oh, my
goodness...we ended up standing for nearly FOUR solid hours. First, we had to wait outside, in the cold
for an hour for the doors to open. But
we had pretty good spots. By the time
the doors opened, the line was snaking clear down to the end of the parking
lot. We got in and they
"searched" our bags (meaning, they glanced in our purses and if they
didn't see a bomb or gun, they nodded us through).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And then the
goodies started. We were handed yard
signs, t-shirts, and signs for the rally.
We opted to stand because we were there early enough that we could get
close to the front. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">We waited an hour
for the rally to start. Then, there were
inspiring speeches by David Barton of Wallbuilders (he just did a brief
introduction), Rep. Steve King, Bob Vander Plaats, and Glenn Beck. The rally was supposed to go from 2-3 but
Cruz didn't come out until 3 and he spoke for almost an hour.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Poor Sam. He wanted to be there today (earlier in the
morning when Lizzie had been ribbing him about not getting to go to Spencer's
like she and Ellie were, Sam sniffed, "Well, at least I care about my
country!") but his little legs and stamina just had a hard time We had piled all our coats on the floor so he
sat down there most of the time. It
wasn't like he could see, anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I came away very
impressed. I decided quite awhile ago
that Cruz was my guy, but hearing him today totally solidified that in my
mind. A few weeks ago I really began praying
for him and I was so pleased today when he was enumerating the things he needs
from his supporters and he wrapped up his speech with asking for consistent,
faithful prayer from his supporters. He
is a man of God and our country needs him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And right now I
need to go to bed. After the rally, Will
left with Arien and Jonathan (he joined us after he got off work around 1) and
I ran a couple of errands in Ankeny. I
got home and Sam and I pounded our new Cruz sign into the frozen front
yard. Then I made a quick supper, did
some more laundry, and now...I am really, really ready for bed!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<i><u><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Sunday<o:p></o:p></span></u></i></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Today was Pastor's
last time to preach. It was also the last time to walk through the
greeting line after church and get my hug from Marcia and handshake from Pastor. This week he hugged me, too. And blast it all if I wasn't tearing up after
both services!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Next week is going
to do me in, I'm afraid. It will be
their last Sunday. Our state rep will be
doing the speaking and then we'll have a potluck dinner (we ARE Baptist, after
all). And then...they're gone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I don't like
this. I may have mentioned that before.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Once or twice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">******************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Something I do
like...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Will had mentioned
to me that Nathanael and Janie were going to be coming down to Indianola for
the weekend to butcher some deer with his folks and they wanted to swing by my
house first - which is fine. I hope they
both know my door is always open. So,
they came and I was sitting in the chair, fixing my jeans. We chatted for awhile and I told them that I
had made some cookies. As soon as I got
my jeans done I'd get those ready and open some pop and we could have a nice
snack. Nathanael replied that <i>they </i>had
actually brought dessert - which is good, too!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So, I got done
with the jeans and walked out to the kitchen to serve up what they had brought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Now, some
background: I have this cake recipe that I would always have to make for
Nathanael whenever he came over to spend time with Will. It's called, "Better than Sex" cake
and is the <i>best</i> thing ever - german chocolate cake with sweetened
condensed milk and caramel topping poured into it, and then coolwhip spread on
top with Andes mint pieces sprinkled over that.
Yum. When Nathanael was engaged
and we had his bachelor party here he requested <b>that</b> cake for
dessert. I remember Will made some funny
sign for the top of it in regards to its name and the whole bachelor party
theme.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So, I walked out
to the kitchen and there was this cake.
Sitting on top was a sign Nathanael or Janie had made that read,
"Better than sex cake? If it were
better...we wouldn't be expecting!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Yay! I can't say I was bowled over with surprise -
after all they've been married a year and a half now, are home owners, are
financially stable, and both come from exceptionally large families. I assumed that baby making wouldn't be too
far off in their future! But it was
still very happy news and I was so touched that they wanted to tell me and
chose to do so in such a creative way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I kind of feel like
an expectant grandma now (although I am much too young and too good looking to
actually be one yet) because Nathanael has always called me his "second
mom" and I've told him repeatedly he's my "other" son.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So this summer
I'll be cuddling a new baby, which is always a beautiful thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">The Littles were
asking me the next day the specifics of how babies get into tummies and they
were obviously doubtful of my standard explanation, which is that babies are
lined up in Heaven on shelves and God picks one and sends it down a chute to
the mommy's tummy. Hey - the older boys
bought it! Then Lizzie said, "Well,
this is what I think happens: an invisible angel brings the baby down and puts
it in the mommy." I like that -
invisible angels.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Another good thing
is Sam's reading. I was in the school
this week picking up Lizzie for her dental appointment (she had two teeth
pulled Wed. to make room in her mouth) and Sam's teacher saw me and waved me
down. She was nearly jumping up and down
as she asked Sam to tell me the result of his FAST test reading (an assessment
they do three times during the year - it's federally mandated and puts a lot of
pressure on the schools and teachers to have every child labeled
"proficient"). At the beginning
of the year Sam had scored a 15 in reading and was immediately slapped into all
kinds of remedial tutoring and brought home packets of materials we've been
working on. Anyway, Sam proudly told me
he scored an 88. I am so proud of him -
he was worked so hard to get that score up.
I'm still not quite sure where that places him in regards to where they
want him (we have parent-teacher conferences in a couple of weeks and I'll ask
that then) but it's a tremendous jump in his reading ability. I've noticed lately that he's beginning to
read signs and other things and he's so pleased when he can do it! He's also consistently getting 100% on his
reading flash cards.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Lizzie's teacher
showed me some of her scores too, and in her general understanding ones (the
way a child puts together all the information regarding reading/Language Arts,
I guess) she's also jumped over 60 points from her first test. Her first-of-the-year scores weren't enough
to score her in-house tutoring but I know her teacher was a little concerned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So, it's all good
I guess. I still don't know if Sam is in
danger of having to repeat the third grade or not, but I guess we'll cross that
when we get to it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">**********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Ellie had a rough
week. Who am I kidding? Life has been nothing but rough with her
since she turned three! But lately,
she's been lying left and right. She's
been in Obedience Training more than she's been out, I've spanked, I've taken
away electronics and toys...and Wed. night she came down into my bedroom and
reported that Lizzie had opened up this corner shelf I've had sitting up the
girls' room for a couple of months. I
bought it to display the special china doll that was given to Lizzie for her
birthday last fall. But Will is planning
to put panelboard over the plaster walls so I'm just going to wait to put it up
now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So, I went up
stairs to see what was going on. Sure
enough, the shelf had been opened.
Lizzie protested her innocence and when I looked at the shelf I saw that
it had been scribbled on with a pencil.
It wasn't but two days earlier Ellie had gotten in huge trouble for,
once again, coloring on her bed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">What am I supposed
to do with this child? It's bad enough
to tell a lie to get out trouble, but it's another thing altogether to
deliberately tell a falsehood in hopes that someone <i>else</i> will get in
trouble! So, I texted Ellie's preschool
teacher and told her Ellie would not be going to school the next day because of
repeated offenses. I explained to her
that I am finding it difficult to find things that hurt her enough to induce
her to choose good behavior. I felt bad
because I know the teachers plan on having a certain number of kids there. I also know they think the world of Ellie and
are convinced she is an absolute darling.
I hated to disabuse them of that perception, erroneous as it is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">When I told Ellie
what I had done she cried, which encouraged me.
And the next day when I got home from doing some shopping I asked,
"So how was preschool today?"
She just stared at me and then I smiled somewhat evilly and said,
"Oh, <i>that's </i>right..."
Several times that day I insisted she tell me why she had to miss
preschool and she was able to answer that it was because she had lied and
colored on the shelf, so I know that she knows.
This girl can also very succinctly explain to me how that disobedience
causes her to step outside God's "umbrella of protection" and leaves
her vulnerable to getting hurt - which is a word picture I've used with the
kids. She <b>knows</b> but she chooses
disobedience anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Like I explained
to Ellie's teacher when I texted her - if I do not break her strong will now
we're both going to be in a world of hurt a decade from now. And the teacher was very, very understanding. She said she's a mom of 4 teenagers/college
students and is "exactly where you're afraid of going." So it was nice to have that support.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I hope it
worked. Otherwise, I just don't know
what to do with her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">The next day I had
to run a few errands. Ellie wanted to
come along and I let her. We were in
Walgreen's and she exclaimed, "Look, Mom - crotches!" My head whipped up because I didn't know <i>what</i>
she was talking about, but I knew it couldn't be good! She was pointing at <i>crutches.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And then we were
in Target checking out and the clerk, an older lady, exclaimed to Ellie,
"Oh, you are so <b>cute</b>! Did
you know that? You are just
CUTE!" <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Ellie replied,
"I know. Everybody tells me
that."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I felt it
necessary on the way home to once again launch into my "pretty heart/ugly
heart" and "tell me what's most important - a pretty face or a pretty
heart?" spiel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">**************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I had a dream
about a week ago that has stuck with me.
In the dream, the girls were not adopted yet and for whatever reason I
had decided that I would only adopt Ellie (why, after this week I would choose
to do that even in dreamland, I do not know...). So, a new foster mother was coming to pick up
Lizzie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">She arrived and I
was so distraught that I could barely speak.
The new mom wanted to know information about Lizzie and I was trying to
tell her but I ended up falling to my knees and sobbing uncontrollably because I was giving
her up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">It was kind of
nice to wake up from that dream and I actually found the emotion of it somewhat
comforting. For so long, I struggled to
love that girl because she was so <i>difficult.</i> I did all the loving, parental things, but I
didn't feel it in my heart. We're a long
ways past that now and she has definitely worked her way into my heart. But there are times she's still bristly and
annoying and reverts to past behaviors and I wonder if we've come as far as I
like to think we have.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But then I go and
have a dream like this and I know that I know that I know that I would die for
this child and that I don't think I could love her more if she were
biologically mine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">It's comforting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Tomorrow I will
spend a good portion of my day reading since I got none of my college reading
done for the past 4 days. We have some
sort of, "post and respond" assignment tomorrow on the class site and
then I need to get started writing my first paper which is due in a week. I don't even know how submit papers
electronically yet, either. It might be
good to find that out between now and then!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I'm going to lunch
with a friend on Tuesday and that evening should be a hair night. Today I watched a couple of youtube videos
and I think I understand now how to do flat rope twists so I want to try some
on Lizzie's hair. I ordered some soft,
squeezy beads last week - maybe they'll arrive in time and I can work those
into the twists, too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Wednesday I have a
hair appt. for myself and I'm getting my eyebrows waxed, which will be a
relief. Those things are starting to
look scary! Then, Lizzie's teacher
informed me that I signed up to help with the Valentine party and we have a
meeting after school that day. I have a
vague recollection of volunteering last August to make some Valentine treats -
which is a far cry from helping with an actual party for 19 seven
year olds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Thursday I have
class and Friday morning I'm hoping to make it down to Pville. The superintendent is going to have this
thing at the coffee shop where he'll be talking about the schools and parents
can chat with him one-on-one. I'd like
to go. If I'm going to do this public
school thing I want to know what's going on in my kids' classrooms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Saturday morning I
have to drive Ben and the Littles up to the Woodward-Granger school (an hour away) for a
Special Olympics basketball event. David
will be at Winter Meltdown at camp so I won't have his help. Will will be helping Pastor and Marcia load
the moving van.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And then it will
be a week from today and we will have said good-bye to Pastor and Marcia for
the last time and I will be facing a lifetime of having to stand a little more
steadily on my own two feet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I'd like to slow this week down so that Sunday never comes.</span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: -8.25pt; margin-right: -6.75pt; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: -8.25pt; margin-right: -6.75pt; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: -8.25pt; margin-right: -6.75pt; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-3621505067799543412016-01-18T20:31:00.001-06:002016-01-18T20:31:43.815-06:00Day 956
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">January 18, 2016<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Day 956<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Martin Luther King Day...Lizzie was picking out bands for
Ellie's hair and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>she commented that she
had chosen "Christmas colors."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Then she asked, "What 'color' is Martin Luther King Day,
Mom?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I'm terrible, but I
immediately replied, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Black."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgot to record a funny incident that happened last month
when I took Lizzie in for her foot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
nurse asked her how she had <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hurt herself
and Lizzie told her that her sister had dropped a mirror on her foot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then the nurse turned to<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>me and quietly asked, "Did she say she
dropped a <b><i>beer</i></b> on her foot?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Ha, ha, ha...she was probably already mentally dialing Child Protective
Services in her mind!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">David and I went to the bank last week and opened up a checking
account for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another sign of
impending adulthood, I guess...Actually, I've found it easiest to just get the
kids their own debit cards once they start driving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That way they can buy gas and then I
reimburse them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will be a good
opportunity for me to teach him bank skills, as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lizzie was complaining the other night that her foot (not the
one with the previously broken bone - the other one) had been hurting all day
and as a result, she said, she had been, "humping" all day long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn't help it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I laughed outloud!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realize she meant, "limping" but
what she said was so much funnier!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">*********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Bernie Sanders was at the high school last week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assumed Ben would miss the event because it
was his day to work at Hy-Vee, but they made arrangements to have him come back
early just for the gathering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I'd just as soon they'd left him working.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ben got home and the first words out of his mouth were,
"Can some Democrats have good ideas?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It made for a good conversation but ever since then, Ben has been on the
Bernie bandwagon, no matter how much his brothers and I have tried to explain
to him that Bernie is a Socialist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
also pointed out to him that we would have to pay for the free college (the
subject he was particularly hard hitting on at the high school that day) he
wants to give out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But Ben isn't quite
persuaded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I need to get him to a Ted Cruz event.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I've started working on Ben's scrapbook for his graduation
party.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A long time ago I was on the ball
and did his book by the year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The last
page in there is the year he was 9...<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, now I'm going through the albums digging out pictures to copy and
scrapbook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I was looking through 2008s today and was struck by how <i>happy</i>
we used to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not that life was ever
perfect - it can't be - but there were so many genuine smiles in those
pictures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ben, unfortunately, was a
little vacant in his expressions, but that was normal back then for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It just makes me wonder if we will ever be
happy that way again this side of Heaven.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I don't know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">**************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lizzie told me that sometime recently her teacher asked each
student in the room to name something out loud that they appreciate about their
moms and their dads.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I understand that it's a good idea to coax small children into
thinking outside their own myopic little worlds and learning early on to feel
and express appreciation is a good thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But knowing that a child has lost a parent, <i>why</i> would a
teacher suggest this activity?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lizzie
said she isn't the only child without a dad in the room and the teacher said
they could say something they are thankful about regarding another male
relative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But everyone knows that's not
the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It does nothing but cause a child additional
hurt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sigh...</span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span> </div>
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">By the way, what she said she appreciated about me is that, "she feeds me." Important stuff, I guess!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">*********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Family Day is coming up in about<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>4 weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did some research
today for options for that day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As time
goes on, I would definitely say the need for distraction on that day is
diminishing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although, I think the idea
of the day is a really good one, so I don't want to ever abandon it,
altogether, either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It would have been 23 years this year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">***************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I had to read a story today for my class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's called, "The Story of an Hour"
by Kate Chopin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was a writer from
the 1880s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We're reading another of hers
right now, a novel about a discontented wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This was a short story we had to read today and I am starting to sense a
theme with Ms. Chopin's work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This one
actually cracked me up in a morbid, dark way, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The story regards a woman who has just
received the terrible news that her husband has been killed in a tragic
railroad accident.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The news appears to
be confirmed and she is gravely (hah - no pun intended) informed of the
sorrowful event by her husband's co-worker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She immediately bursts into noisy tears and insists on retiring to her
room, despite the fluttering of her sister and other females in residence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found myself really being drawn into the
story - no doubt because of my own widowhood experience.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Once in her bedroom, I can imagine the main character doing a
fistpump, although I don't think such an action was a thing 130 years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Several paragraphs are dedicated to her
overwhelming sense of newfound freedom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>While she didn't wish any harm to her husband, she is <i>delighted</i>
that she is suddenly completely free of the man and free to do whatever it is
she wants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her sister hovers outside the
keyhole, begging her to come out, so at long last, the new widow emerges,
forcing her jubilant features into the solemnity the occasion demands.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She walks to the top of the stairs and just then the front door
opens and in walks her husband.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The last
line reads, "When the doctors came, they said she had died of heart
disease - of joy that kills."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Oh, that reminds me - I guess I haven't written about my class
yet on this blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last Monday all we had
to do was introduce ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's
15 of us - all women - in the class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We're located all over the state (the beauty of internet learning). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most are moms, although I think I won the
award for having the most children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our
teacher is up in the Mason City area - a farmer's wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's just amazing to me how much college has
changed since I was last a student 24 years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, I'll be sitting on the bed in my
pajamas listening to the professor instead of tapping my foot on a concrete
floor in a cold classroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Awesome!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Thursday night I drove over to Newton and my adviser showed me
how to access the Blackboard Collaborative on my laptop. I just sat in the
office and did the class there that night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The teacher had her powerpoint on the screen and we could hear her
talking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had the ability to speak,
ourselves, if we wanted to into the computer and be heard (we could also show
ourselves, too - I hope I never accidentally press THAT button!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Off to the right of the screen is where we "talk"
by typing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It just struck me as funny
that as the professor is giving her lecture, students are interjecting comments
by type and then sometimes the teacher would respond to those.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In a normal classroom nobody would ever just
interrupt the professor in the middle of her talk! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Computers make everything so much less formal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I had spent the week reading the textbook that the lecture was
supposed to cover and I just felt dumber and dumber as the week went on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn't understand any of it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I felt better after actually attending
class Thurs. night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I might be able to
handle this after all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My professor has been very personally encouraging to me,
praising my writing that she's seen just in my notes to her and introduction to
the class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said she's "already
impressed" with me...hope I don't let her down once I start submitting
papers!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Oh, and cue the Disney music to "It's a Small World After
All"...I was so flabbergasted to discover after doing our introductions a
week ago that Paul's <i>cousin</i> is in class with me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of all the universities and all the classes
out there and we end up in the exact. same. one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Holy cow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We quickly became Facebook friends after we made the
connection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She's actually Paul's second
cousin, the daughter of his first cousin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Her daughter was born 4 days before Sam, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She commented that they don't see too much of
the other relatives (this is Paul's mom's side of the family) so I don't know
if anything will ever get said, but it makes me wonder if it will ever come out
to Paul's family via this cousin that I'm back in school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not that it matters, I guess.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Well, it's after 8.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have one more kid to shoo into bed and then I need to go through my nightly
check-list so that I can get these kids onto the bus in the morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Another week starts...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--></span></i></span><i><span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-44201669056348481002016-01-09T13:02:00.000-06:002016-01-09T13:09:08.253-06:00Day 955<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">January 9, 2016<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Day 955<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">It's January -
coldest day of winter so far and tomorrow is supposed to be colder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least it's white out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had some more snow last night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I've got a to-do
list today that is really stressing me out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I probably need to go rub some calming oils on...or dispose of a few
small children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One or the other ought
to work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">The whole week has
been stressful as I'm anticipating starting classes next week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sat down with my laptop one night this week
and was nearly in tears as I viewed the syllabus for my class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's "Introduction to Literary
Theory" which is something supposedly right up my alley.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I couldn't understand half of what was in
the <i>syllabus</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I read through
the expectations and assignments for the class my heart rate began to
climb.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How on <i>earth</i> am I going to
accomplish this?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And then, there is
a student training seminar I'm supposed to go through designed to teach me how
to operate the computer system through which I'll be participating in class and
talking with the professor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn't
figure that out, either!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">We are also
supposed to introduce ourselves to the professor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I managed to do that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, being me, I couldn't offer a
simple, "hi" and be done with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I wrote this poor lady a book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
told her I was sitting on my bed with my brand new laptop, having gotten four
of my six kids to bed, and I am<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>completely
lost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I explained that the last time I
was in a college classroom I actually had to attend class and all my papers
were typewritten and physically handed in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I told her I think I'm completely out of my element and am going to fail
big time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I clicked, "send"
and thought, "I shouldn't have sent that!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But I got the
sweetest reply back from this teacher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She said she's "already impressed with me" because "you
are an excellent writer!" and she assured me that the syllabus is not
nearly as hard as one might think by reading it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So, maybe I can do
this...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">My financial aid
stuff got done in the nick of time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
sent me an award package and I'm not understanding that, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It kind of looks like that I am being offered
more money to go to school than I need, but that can't be right. This is a
private school, not DMACC, where that did actually happen to Will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm going to have Will look at it when he
comes home from work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So
just...ugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I keep looking for a sign
that I'm NOT supposed to be going back to school but the only thing I'm seeing
is fear and I don't think that is a good reason to not do things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Oh, and I still
have my job as city clerk, which is good, I guess, although there is still a
part of me that is convinced it's not going to last.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had our first council meeting of the year
this week with the new mayor and council and I laid out for them my concerns
(the fact that I have to hire out a portion of the work I'm supposed to be
doing because I just can't do it - things having to do with forms and
spreadsheets and the city's bank account.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I'm the first clerk to ever do this and it's costing the city
money).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I about fell over when the mayor
told me that my duties shouldn't have to include anything having to do with
money and he thinks it's a good idea we're hiring this stuff out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All the other council members sat there
nodding their heads and I about melted as all these concerns (that have
literally kept me awake some nights) disappated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, huh...we'll see what happens, I
guess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the meantime, the continued
income will be appreciated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Last Sunday Will
and Arien took the Littles sledding, which was nice for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'd be in the chiropractor's office for sure
the next day if I did that!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Arien was
telling me that Ellie playfully snatched her hat and when she asked for it
back, Ellie proceeded to stuff it full of snow first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That sounds like my evil Ellie...I told Arien
it's actually a good thing since apparently Ellie feels comfortable enough with
her to be awful to her now, too!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Earlier this <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>week Ellie was in the van with me when the
song, "Jesse's Girl" came over the radio.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pretty soon Ellie piped up, "Why does
that boy say he wants, 'Jesse's girl'?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So I explained that the singer is in love with his friend's girlfriend
and is wishing that he was her boyfriend, instead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ellie was quiet for a moment and then said,
"Oh, because his girlfriend is dead?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was one of those moments when I didn't know whether to laugh or
cry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to laugh because her
question was hilarious in a dark way (which is my favorite kind of humor) but
cry because I don't think, prior to Paul's death, my kids would just
automatically assume the reason a person is missing their other half is due to
death.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Sigh...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Marcia and I went
to lunch yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a really, <i>really</i>
good<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to say that, while I have never once
doubted that God is in this whole thing, after talking to her it is so evident
to me that God is moving them away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not
only that, but two hours later she texted me to let me know their house had
just sold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who buys a house in <i>January</i>?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God's doing something here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't understand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still cried on the way home because I'm
going to miss them and I don't like this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I told Marcia I absolutely do NOT want to go to the good-bye service on
Jan. 31.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honestly, though, there is a tiny, tiny part
of me that is getting excited to see who we're getting next for a pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And it helps that
Marcia and I vowed to always be friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now that she's not going to be my pastor's wife anymore maybe we can
actually be more <i>equal</i> friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But I still wish
they weren't moving...at least it's not terribly, terribly far away. And we decided we'll still get together every so often for lunch.</span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Not much else to
report, I don't think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose I'll
have more to say in a week or so after I've started my class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to calm this internal upset.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And there's plenty
of outward upset, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yesterday, Will
started building my bookshelves upstairs and just now Ellie deliberately
threw<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the big level he was using down
the stairs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every time she does
something like this I am reminded of her preschool teacher telling me,
"Oh, she's just so <i>perfect</i>!"</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Or how this kid can turn on the charm with a bat of her super-long eyelashes...we were in the bank one day this week making the city deposit and Ellie was there, flitting from one teller to the next, getting candy and stickers from each one. One asked her, "Did you have a good Christmas?" Ellie assured her that she had and then sweetly asked, "And how was <em>yours?" </em>I wanted so badly to roll my eyeballs. Meanwhile the clerk about swooned as she whispered to me, "She is SO stinking cute!"</span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Wish they could have all seen her just now as she tried to break tools, the door, the wall, and maybe a few heads with that level she hurtled like a javelin down the stairway...</span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">My list awaits -
back to work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-89200055765922362832016-01-02T18:01:00.000-06:002016-01-03T14:50:19.023-06:00Day 948<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Jan. 2, 2016<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Day 948<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">A new year full of
new possibilities...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">My house is
currently full of stench.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This week
while Will was gone we developed a clog in the pipes that made using the
kitchen sink an impossibility.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He's home
now and cutting pipes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently,
there's a food back-up in the pipes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yuck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't think I'm going to
replace my garbage disposal once it goes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It's too easy to use it as a grinder and forget that food really needs
to mostly go in the garbage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will's not
very happy with anyone in the house at the moment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">His hunting trip
went well, at least, even though he didn't shoot a deer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said it was still fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His friend, Eric, shot a 9 point buck and
gave us most of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent New Year's
Eve processing it all by myself and ended up with 59 pounds of burger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought that was pretty good!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Ellie was writing
on the packages for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I instructed her
to write "DB '15."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I happened
to glance down in to the tub where we were putting the packaged meat and saw that
they all read "16" instead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
asked her why and she shrugged and replied, "Sixes are easier for me to
write than fives."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Makes sense.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">***************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">We got quite a bit
of snow at the beginning of the week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The city's brakes on the plow went out while being used.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The driver stopped by my house and gasped,
"I'm not driving that thing no more!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, I had to spend some time finding someone to fix it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Since Will wasn't
home, the shoveling duties fell to David.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He suggested one day to Ben that he could help him do the
shoveling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ben looked at him, aghast,
and protested, "No!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I might get
cold!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, then - we wouldn't want you to do that, then, would we?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I ended up not
going to church New Year's Eve because Lizzie had a slight vomiting incident
late that afternoon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was perfectly
fine later, but I didn't want to take a chance that this was the start of
something bad and have her throw up all over the table at church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, I really don't like talking to people
all that much, so any chance to be a homebody - particularly when it's cold out
- I'm going to jump at. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I processed the
deer and around 10 I flipped on the New Year's Eve celebration stuff on the
tv.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It made me so mad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was NBC.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There were 5 people sitting around, trading one-liners, basically.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was Carson Daly from the Today show (I
like him), one of the "Real Housewives" of that show franchise on cable tv - she
was black, but had obviously had her face done because it was so tight she
couldn't make a real expression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had
dyed, flat, blond hair, which was interesting in light of a comment she made
just a few minutes after I turned the tv on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There was a gay guy sitting with his legs crossed and joking about
homosexuality, a liberal female comedian and some other guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, they were reviewing 2015 and like I said,
trying to all be stand up comedians.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They got on the subject of Raven Symone's comment earlier in the year
and this is when I shut off the tv.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Raven Symone was cutie preschooler on the Cosby Show in its later
years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She stayed in tv, but that's her
best known role.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She decided she was gay
a few years ago but<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I kind of wonder if
that was an attempt to boost her sagging tv career.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Anyway, in an interview with Oprah Winfrey earlier last year she made
the bold comment that she does not consider herself to be an, "African
American."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rather, she continued,
she is simply, an "American."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I probably don't agree with anything else that will ever come out of her
mouth, but this I applaud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Well, these NYE's
commentators jumped all over that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
liberal, white comedian said that was the "most racist thing" she'd
heard all year and the reality Housewife star (remember - also black and
sporting platinum, obviously not hers, hair) joked, "Honey, her hair is
nappier than this couch I'm sitting on!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What - ??<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was just
stupid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The actress hadn't said she
didn't consider herself to be <i>black</i>, she just said she refused to
identify as a hyphenated American.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">That's when I
turned the tv<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wouldn't pay to spend my time with these
dumb people - why should I invite them for free into my home via the television
set?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">The kids gave me a
book I've wanted for a long time for Christmas (Francine Rivers, "Bridge
to Haven") and I picked that<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>up and
started reading where I left off earlier in the week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a much more satisfactory way to bring
in the new year than watching the stupid television filled with stupid people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>****************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">The kids had a
busy week with friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My friend,
Julie, brought over her 6 year old Sunday afternoon so she and her husband
could go hunting on Monday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, the
weather was so awful Monday they couldn't go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, Faith ended up spending two nights here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, Tues, the Littles all went to the
Merritts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This couple had a total of 9
children, ages 7 months to 9 years with them - and they hauled them all to the
Science Museum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really brave or really,
really crazy...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Before I brought
the kids over, Jenn texted to see if I wanted to go get a pedicure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her husband had the idea and volunteered to
treat us both.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I quick shaved my
legs and hoped the workers wouldn't make too many comments in Vietnamese about
the state of my feet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They didn't, but
ended up about burning the skin off my legs with the concoction they used to
massage them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was so bad I had to
slather my legs in aloe vera later that night!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But I've had the pleasure of looking at my pretty green toes all week
long every time I take off my socks - so what are minor, 4th degree burns?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I was able to get
my kitchen all painted before I went to pick up the kids the next day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very productive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did a red accent wall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not completely happy with the shade of
red it ended up being, but it will work for now, I guess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someday, I might deepen it to a truer red.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">A friend posted a
video on her timeline of the recent funeral of a man she knew.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was younger and left behind children as
young as their preschool years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only,
his funeral wasn't called a "funeral."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, it was referred to as a
"celebration of life."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Viewing
this clip really solidified some thoughts I've<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>developed in the last couple of years regarding the use of the term,
"celebration of life" over "funeral."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">First of all -
just stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A funeral is NOT a
celebration.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only exception I can
possibly think of might be for a centurion who had suffered with sickness a
long time before succumbing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe
then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But even when younger people (as
in, younger than 100 years) die after long, painful illnesses, their death
might come with a sense of relief, but it's not celebratory, either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">A funeral is a
time of sadness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a time to
mourn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a time to pay respect and
homage to the person who had died.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is
a time to support those closest to the deceased.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">It is not a time
to dance around the auditorium, arms uplifted, wearing jeans and t-shirts
singing 77 verses of the chorus, "Yes, Lord" which is comprised of
exactly three words - repeated ad nauseum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This was the video I watched this week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That's not respectful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I know the
arguments against this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Christians will
say that we have every reason to rejoice when a loved one goes Home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, they're free of earth's shackles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's no more pain, no suffering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's temporary...blah, blah, blah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I <b>know</b> all this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I <b>agree</b> with all this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But a "celebration of life" leaves
no room for sadness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It can make the
bereaved feel guilty for feeling desolate and experiencing normal grief.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Death stinks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It hurts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It shreds your heart and tears at your soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is not a time to celebrate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I think this is terminology and
thinking<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>need to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pretending death and funerals are not what
they are - doesn't make them not what they are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">****************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I mentioned that
this week the kids spent some time at the Merritt's.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seven months ago they adopted an adorable
little boy at birth - were even present for the birth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lizzie wanted to know yesterday why the birth
mom chose to give up her baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
explained that it was because she loved him very much and knew she couldn't
give him the best kind of home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
because of that love, she was willing to let another family have him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lizzie was quiet and then asked, "Does
that mean my birth mom didn't love me?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She then added, "Because she didn't <i>want</i> me to be
adopted?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her mind continually
amazes me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So we had a long
talk about the differences in the two different adoptions she was familiar with
- willing birth adoption like with Baby Titus' and non-willing foster care
removal/adoption like her own. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
able to assure her that her birth mother did, indeed, love her and all the
other<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>siblings - but the kind of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>love she offered wasn't enough and it wasn't
healthy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a good
conversation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always feel drained
after we talk about this kind of stuff because I want to be careful to say the
right things at a level Lizzie can understand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don't want to trash-talk her birth mother, but I want to to present an
honest picture of what happened as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A lot of things would be easier if it had been a willing birth adoption!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">***********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Well, that's all I
know for this first couple days of the new year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kids head back to school Tuesday and my
classes start the following Mon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need
to get on the phone to BVU and make sure they're really ok with me starting
since all my financial aid stuff hasn't all come through yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My new laptop I ordered for classes arrived
this week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, I hope I'm doing the
right thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm so afraid I'm going to
fail at this endeavor!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I suppose I had
better go and get supper ready.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then
we'll be headed for the bedtime countdown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Tomorrow is church.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Will says I will
be without a kitchen sink and dishwasher until Tuesday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is replacing all the pipes connected to
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did the dishes today in the
bathtub.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The entire basement smelled
horrible by the time he and David were done working but they doused everything
with a bleach solution and it's much more bearable now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Monday will
be/would have been Paul's 45th birthday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Last year I did a picture collage on Facebook for that event, but I just
don't feel like doing that this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
tried to go decorate his grave today with some birthday things but I got stuck
trying to get in the cemetery with all the snow and ice!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was eventually able to back on out of there
and just went home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Paul will have to
have a tipped over Christmas tree and wreath at his grave for his birthday,
instead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I am planning on making his
favorite foods for Monday night's supper.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">It's something,
anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even if it was just a normal
night, I'd still remember the significance of the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>something that will always be there for the rest of my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--></i></span><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-7763926531543212392015-12-26T22:43:00.001-06:002015-12-26T22:43:28.801-06:00Day 941
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Dec. 26, 2015<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Day 941<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">It's over. I
survived another Christmas of widowhood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And it wasn't
totally terrible, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did better
this entire season than the last two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But Christmas Eve night we went to the service at church, which I was
fine for throughout.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then, as I'm
out in the foyer, wrestling Ellie into her coat, a friend came up to me and
with this sympathetic I-feel-so-sorry-for-you,
wish-I-could-fix-your-heartache<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>look
that I know too well (and appreciate as much as I can see it coming from a mile
away anymore) asked me how I was doing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I've never been great at faking things and honestly told her, "Ok -
just, ok."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This friend isn't
possessed of a huggy type nature, but she wrapped her one arm around me and
whispered, "I'm so sorry."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her
kindness made tears spring to my eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And then just at that moment, another friend, who IS huggy, came over to
me, wrapped her arms around me and said softly, "Hey, Girl - you are loved
so much."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And I knew I had
to get out of there <b>right then</b> or I would lose it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So Ellie and I bolted for the van.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About 20 min. later Will and David finally
showed up and David was complaining about how "unsociable" I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Maybe someday
he'll understand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And after that I
was really fine - until we were opening gifts yesterday morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of a sudden, this intense grief wave just
slammed into me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn't even see it
coming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Emotionally, I was reeling, but
you know, it was <i>Christmas</i> and I couldn't run off wailing to my
room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That would be a<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>real quick way to put a damper on the
holidays. I don't even think the Grinch could top that! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I just kept on unwrapping presents and
taking pictures of the kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">By late
afternoon<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it had passed and I really
felt ok once again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Which has me
wondering...will I <b>ever</b> be free of the blues at Christmas someday?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Time will tell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wonder, too, if I am doing the right thing
by keeping things from the kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe
someday I'll hear them complaining that I wasn't "real" enough when
walking through this valley.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The mom is
the emotional barometer of the home and I've just wanted to keep their emotions
at a balanced level.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I insisted that they
feel what I do, then they'd be down more than they are up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But they may never<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>fully appreciate this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">A fellow widow
friend posted this in a meme on Facebook last night and I thought it was so
good:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">It's hard to rejoice when your heart is hurting and it seems
like the world is celebrating around you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But the same God Who loved us enough to send His only son understands
you better than anyone else - and He's closer to you now than anyone else can
ever be.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Plans changed
during the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mom and Dad went home
early because Mom wasn't feeling the greatest so I was kind of at loose
ends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ended up watching the Dolly
Parton movie that was on NBC.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
really surprised at how <i>good</i> that was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I thought it was going to be something about her rise to fame, but<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>instead it was just a 2 hour movie about a
period of a few months in the life of her family while growing up - themes of
faith, resilience, and trusting God when it hurts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could probably watch that again. The little actress who played young Dolly was really talented. She reminds me of someone I know in real life but I haven't put my finger yet on just who it is.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Oh - Lizzie did
break her foot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt so terrible -
seriously terrible, like worst-mom-in-the-world kind of terrible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had taken her to Urgent Care on a Monday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On Friday of that week I got a phone call
from Urgent Care letting me know they had been trying to get ahold of me all
week long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A radiologist had read the
x-ray and decided a bone was actually fractured.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ugh!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And here, every single day that week I had been forcing her foot into a
shoe even though she complained that it hurt because, after all, it wasn't
broken!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She's still in a boot now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She might get out of it next week, but I'm
not sure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I've started
reading, "Little House in the Big Woods," the first Laura Ingalls
Wilder book, to the Littles most every night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I plan to go back and forth between her books and some Beverly Cleary
ones until we've read everything by these authors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam seems to actually be more into the books
than the girls are, which surprised me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But they still listen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Laura
included a lot of the little songs her Pa used to sing for them and I always
sing them to the kids as I'm reading, making up the tune if I don't know it
already.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I was singing one the other
night when I got to the word, "darky" in the song.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I quickly realized the song was a little
ditty about a black man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the time
period of the story (mid 1870s) it wasn't inappropriate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But for now, it's highly so!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fortunately, none of the kids caught what I
sang and when I came to that word again in the song, I quickly changed it to,
"that man."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, wow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Times have changed!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And on a related
note, late last week Lizzie and I both got handwritten apology notes from that
boy who made that racist comment to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They came addressed to me in a school envelope, so I don't know if that
was something the principal required the student to do or something he did on
his own (or was told to do by his mother) and then asked the school to mail
them to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I was impressed anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One was addressed to Lizzie and the other, to,
"Lizzie's parent's."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lizzie
said he also verbally apologized to her at school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So, anyway, it
definitely sounds like he is chastened and repentent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's the best possible outcome out of an
unfortunate situation to start with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
did write to the district superintendent and told him how pleased I was with
how this was handled by the principal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He wrote back and thanked me for telling him and said he'd definitely
commend the principal, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He then went
on to tell me how much he enjoys Ben.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Everyone enjoys Ben!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">A few weeks ago
Lizzie went to a birthday party.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Unfortunately, she didn't have a very good time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said the birthday girl spent all her time
with her other friends and not her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
when I picked her up the mom gushed, "Oh, your Lizzie is SO <i>polite</i>!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was interesting to me because in recent
weeks I've heard that from other adults about Sam and Ellie, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It makes me think that there must be an awful
lot of impolite little kids in Pleasantville if mine are coming off better in
comparison.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know my kids and I know
how rude they can be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But everyone
else's must be <i>awful</i>!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Speaking of bad
behavior...Ellie's latest ploy whenever she gets in trouble is to shriek,
"You don't love me!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sigh...I
don't remember the boys ever pulling that one on me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lizzie hasn't either, but that's probably for
other reasons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were in Hy-Vee one
night recently and I took away her mini shopping cart because she continually
rammed it onto her siblings heels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh,
boy, was she angry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She yelled,
"You don't love me!" and ran to the opposite end of the aisle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, she refused to stand by me in the
check-out lane and when I tried to put her in the cart, she splayed her legs
open so they wouldn't go in the leg holes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>About a night later she got ahold of my key fob and pushed the panic
button on it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, I was in a
different part of the house so it took me awhile to get to her, find what she
did with the fob, and get my van quiet again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That same night, she took antibacterial cream and Glade spray and put
them all over the mirror in her bedroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I remember reading a story when I was a kid about a little boy that was
kidnapped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was so terrible that the
kidnappers ended up returning him before they ever got to their destination.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">That would be
Ellie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">***************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">A week ago I was
up to my eyeballs in cooking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had two
out-of-town guests for a couple of nights - Nathanael and Eric came down to
hunt with Will and some other guys from church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They had a good haul altogether - 8 deer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>David shot his very first on Sunday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was so pleased!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Butchering Day
happened Tuesday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I helped a little, but
not much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I did package all the
meat, which was quite a job - several hundred pounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We ended up buying another freezer because we
just didn't have room in ours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's a
nice problem to have, minus the $300 for a new freezer part...Will said he may
buy it off me someday when he has his own place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Tomorrow Will
leaves with Eric, his father, and grandfather for a few days down in southern
Iowa for even more hunting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They're
staying in a hotel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I suppose it's
just as well I got the additional freezer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Eric is a superb shot and gives most his meat to us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Will finally had
his root canal on Wed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By Sunday his gum
was beginning to puff up and I knew that was infection coming back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wouldn't let me open it up, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wed. morning his face was visibly puffy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, he had his appointment early that
afternoon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dentist did lance his gum
which was just full of pus, I guess. Will said that was the worst part. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Then he did the root canal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
discovered that Will had 5 roots, which is a lot. The dentist said he had not
seen that in 12 years, commenting that when he was in dental school he watched
a dentist do one with 7 roots, which was highly unusual. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most people only have 3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He couldn't see the other two when he drained
the tooth twice before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, that's why
it kept getting so sore so quickly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Since the tooth had a temporary seal on it, there was nowhere for the
pus to go except for into his gums.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Yuck!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So now we let that
heal and then he needs an appointment for the crown.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I bet Dr. Fuller
is going to eventually stop taking any calls from our house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Between Will's extra roots and my
"cement-like" teeth (his words) he's not going to want to have
anything to do with our mouths!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Well, I need to
get going here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have dinner plans with
a friend who is only in Iowa for another day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I need to hear all about her love life (she's younger than me).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Earlier today David said in all seriousness,
"I think you need to get out of the house."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Evidently, I was appearing stressed to
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was able to tell him I was
already on it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I'm actually in a
pretty good mood today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, I think
that's because Christmas is finally over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I'm pretty sure that's not the right attitude to have.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">This may be my
last post for the year, I don't know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I'm not exactly regarding the new year with anticipation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm kind of nervous about a few things -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the uncertainty of my job, starting college
again, Ben's graduation...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But I won't be
alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Which is
reassuring, particularly when I really stop to think about the truth of those
words.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-81863893978595173722015-12-17T13:41:00.000-06:002015-12-17T13:41:25.775-06:00Day 932
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">December 16, 2016<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span></o:p></span></b> </div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I probably won't
get this all written today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or tomorrow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I woke up at 5am
with a nasty migraine and the pain was so bad I never did fully get back to
sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact I ended up getting up
before the alarm summoned me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My head
still hurts but it's bearable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I've got SO much
on my plate right now between Christmas prep and guests coming all weekend long
for hunting (although I'm very glad they are coming - Will has such nice
friends and it's always fun to have them here).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I'm trying to clean my house and today I'm up to my eyeballs in getting
ready for the Patch Club party at church tonight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I just picked up
Ellie from preschool and she came home with the treat bucket, which means I'm
expected to fill it up with healthy snacks for her class tomorrow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I checked the snack list twice this month and Ellie's name was nowhere
on it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I thought we got lucky.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So now I have to go to the store.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's going to be store-bought stuff because I
do not have time to bake another thing today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I feel like whining about it to the staff but...her teachers are really
nice...and Ellie got a scholarship...so I feel kind of obligated to cough up
the snacks every so often.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But today is
really<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>not a good day for this!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Things are hard on
my heart right now, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's
December.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every year since Paul's death
I get hit with the blues and missing him so much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that's fairly common with the
bereaved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I wish it wasn't the
case.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If nothing else it makes getting
done what I need to a lot harder.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And I'm really
hurting over<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pastor and Marcia
leaving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I <i>know</i> this is God's
will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that He knows so much more
than I do and is so much wiser.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know
this is not only for their good, but for their new congregation's, as well as
for ours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know it's for <b>my</b>
good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But I don't
understand.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">All I know is that
a major support system is being pulled away from me and I feel like I'm
floundering a bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm losing
friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I hate that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marcia and I have made a lunch date for
January so that makes me feel better although I'm afraid I'm going to get to
the restaurant and bawl into my soup the whole time (not that I would order
soup - I'm not a fan of foods I have to drink).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And on top of
everything else, I'm supposed to be starting class on Jan. 11 - and my FAFSA
got totally messed up which means I have no idea what I'm going to be paying to
attend school yet and I can't apply for loans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have spent <i>hours</i> on the phone with the FAFSA people (each of
whom does not know what the person in the cubicle next to them is doing and
saying - like most government offices) and talking to my advisor and the
financial aid dept. at BVU.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I even made
a special trip up to Ankeny yesterday to meet with the ICAN rep who filed the
FAFSA in the first place. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it's
all going to work out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BVU is very
willing to have me go ahead and start even w/o the financial plan in place yet
as long as I sign a promissory note.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
it's been stressful and has made me wonder if I'm even <i>supposed</i> to be
going to school right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is this God's
way of putting the brakes on this or is it just trials I have to persevere
through?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">On top of all
this, I am getting a very distinct impression that my job as City clerk is
coming to an end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nobody has said
anything and I can only say that this "feeling" must be from the
Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, this throws me into a
bit of a mental panic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How will I
replace that income, esp. with going to school?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I guess I could be wrong, but I don't think I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not planning on quitting the job, but I
am just certain, all the same, that I will not hold this position for much
longer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes you just <i>know</i>
when you hear the voice of the Lord and I am definitely hearing that right
now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it doesn't mean I'm going to be
out of the job tomorrow, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe
God is only preparing me for something that's still a ways down the road.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess time will tell.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Wow - is this
enough negativity for one post?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">There <i>are</i>
good things in my life!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Arien is coming
over Sat. so I can help her shop for Will's Christmas present and so she can
help me with my wrapping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She's coming
again Sunday so I can introduce her to "Forrest Gump" which she has
never seen while the guys all hunt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I am under-budget
this year for Christmas buying - always a good thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">A sweet, older
lady at church slipped a $20 bill in my Christmas card Sunday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">My contractor came
out Saturday and finished the work on the house!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I have heat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have more than enough clothes to wear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have plenty of food.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I have a van with
213,000 miles on it that still starts every single time I insert the key.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although, I need to replace the tires and the
brakes are starting to get a little iffy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">David got his
driver's license yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was so
nervous he was shaking as we walked into the station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried to warn him ahead of time that he
might not pass the first driving attempt - and that would, in no way, be a
reflection of his value as a human being. He still wanted it so bad and was up
early with a nervous stomach and the inability to sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But he walked in there and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>aced the test.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now my insurance has shot up $43 a
month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I have another driver, which
will be a tremendous help to me...as long as he keeps his car on the road, I
guess.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And I have an
i-phone now - my very first smart phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am seriously wondering how I lived for so long without this
thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is <i>amazing</i>!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It took awhile to get it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will and I visited the US Cellular store last
May to find out what would be what.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
rep we talked to was very confusing, but we came out of there with
understanding we needed to wait until Sept. 1 to have enough points to upgrade,
but those points had to be used by Sept. 30 because they were going to phase
out the points system.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So, in Sept. we
went back to a different store and were told that no, the points were supposed
to have been <i>used</i> by Sept. 1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>However, if we wanted to pay an extra $20 per month per line we could go
ahead and upgrade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't think
so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, we were going to have to wait
until March which is when we could upgrade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And then, a few weeks ago I got a card in the mail from US Cellular
thanking me for being such a loyal customer and offering early upgrades.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And that's what we
did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both Will and I walked out of the
store a week ago with brand new i phone 6s - which are not the latest model,
but that's ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the best part?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am paying <i>less</i> money per month now
for better phones and a larger data plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Who knew?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe that's why God
had that clerk mess up last summer and tell us the wrong thing, so that we
could get a better deal in the end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Yesterday and the
night before were kind of hard on the heart, as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Monday, Lizzie and Sam got off the bus, both
upset.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another child had told Lizzie to,
"Shut up" and then added, "I'd like to say something else, but
it's racist and I'm not supposed to say that."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Later, as she was leaving the bus, he told
her, "You need to leave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We don't
want people like you here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nobody likes
you."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Lizzie asked me,
"What does 'racist' mean?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
didn't know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All she knew was that this
boy had been very mean to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of
course, I was outraged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to
chase the bus down, scramble aboard, and choke this child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How <i>dare</i> he?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's a good thing I'm not a very fast runner
because it gave me time to question both kids and to think about the best
course of action.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I've had the girls
for 3 1/2 years now and up until we have <i>never</i> encountered a shred of
racism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I kind of hoped we never would -
probably naive, huh?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My first reaction
was<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to console Lizzie and remind her
that there will always be jerks in this world, but to try not to take their
unkindness to heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the more I
thought about it, the more I decided this wasn't enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This child needed to be dealt with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't ever want any of my kids picked on,
of course, but I am definitely not going to tolerate racist statements directed
toward my girls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the same time I
don't want to be <i>looking</i> for offenses or giving the girls a false sense
of victimhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So the next
morning I made sure I was dressed by the time the bus came.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As the kids got on the bus, I followed them
and spoke to the driver who nodded and said this particular boy is a
trouble-maker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn't know it until
later, but when he got the kids to school he then went into the principal's
office and told him what I had reported.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">In the meantime I
wrote a very firm, but fair letter to the principal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really had to separate my emotion as I
wrote because I wanted to demand that all hell rain down this child and I had
to force myself to think about what would be the best possible outcome for this
situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ultimately, I decided that
what really needed to happen was repentance on the part of this boy and an
apology for Lizzie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She also needed to
understand that his actions were in no way a reflection of the school's
values.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn't tell the principal
that, other than to ask him to please advise me to what he ended up doing so I
knew what, if any, further steps to take (meaning, "if you don't take care
of this, I'm going over your head"!)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I couldn't be more
pleased with the outcome of the whole ordeal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I heard back from the principal twice yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was absolutely appalled and assured me
that he would take care of this immediately, adding that racial intolerance is
something he will not stand for one bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He ended up pulling both Sam and Lizzie out of class, along with some
other kids to find out what exactly had happened on the bus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then he called the boy's mother to come
to the school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told me that by the
end, both the boy and his mother were in tears, which made me feel bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn't want to make anybody <i>cry</i>!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it sounds like the<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>young man is sincerely sorry and he is
expected to make an apology to Lizzie in the next day or so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition, the principal assured me that he
will be receiving consequences both at school and home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So, I think in the
end this is a good thing, especially if it results in this kid adjusting his
attitude and learning to speak with kindness - or not at all if he can't dredge
up any kind feelings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the same time,
I am still sick over the fact that Lizzie had to experience this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I keep reminding myself that this probably
would not have happened if I hadn't stuck her in public school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sigh...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I am very pleased
with how it was handled, though,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and I
think I'll take the time to write a note to the district superintendent
commending the elementary school principal's fast and decisive action.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I just ordered my
books for my class off Amazon - only $40 for this term, which doesn't seem too
bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had orientation Monday night -
and I was the only person to show up!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
mean, there were only three of us scheduled, but still - why wouldn't you call
if you couldn't make it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It makes you
wonder how serious they are about getting started.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to buy another laptop between now and
then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That will cost considerably more
than my books, I think!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Thursday<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I am absolutely
falling apart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yesterday it was a
migraine that didn't release its grip until evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today, it's my left hip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cannot bend over and am dying. Every move I
make sends shooting pain up my back and down my leg.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This hip has bothered me since late summer
when the new chiropractor took over that office in Pville where I was
going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was so rough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So now I'm going to someone else (40 min
away!) and he's really good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see him
today at 5 - I sure hope it's worth braving that rush hour traffic with 4 kids
in the van, though.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">When I got my new
iphone last week the boys were showing me all the features on it, including
Siri, which is the "information" part of the phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you want the phone to automatically dial,
you just talk to Siri and she does it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If you want to know about the weather or the capital of Zimbabwe - you
ask Siri.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So one of the boys pushed her
button and she said, "Good afternoon, Princess."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Then I
remembered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After Paul's death, I had
his contacts transferred into my phone and deleted most of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I kept my number in there which he had
stored under the named, "Princess."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Siri recognized my number and related it to the only name she had in her
memory bank.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I kept that in my contacts
but told Siri to just call me Sarah!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Sigh...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Lizzie is very
fortunate she is not limping around in a cast right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The girls have (had) a super-heavy mirror in
their bedroom that used to be part of Lizzie's old dresser that I bought off
Craig's List before she came.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got rid
of the dresser last year when I bought new matching ones for the girls from
Homemakers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I kept the mirror
because it is so pretty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I propped it up
on the desk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something told me when I
did that that wasn't a good idea, but I ignored that voice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, Ellie was messing around the other
night and the mirror came sliding off the desk and onto Lizzie's foot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fortunately, the mirror did not break -
although I'm planning to get rid of it now, so I guess it would have been ok if
it had broken, although that might have caused injury to the girls, which would
<i>not</i> have been ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, Lizzie
immediately ended up with a huge lump on her foot which made me wonder if it
might be broken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But she wasn't
shrieking in pain, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I put ice
on it and sent her to bed with the ice pack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The next morning, she had difficulty getting her shoe on, so instead of
putting her on the school bus, I took her to Urgent Care.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">They x-rayed her
and said they didn't think it was broken, but were going to send the x-ray to a
radiologist just to make sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I haven't
heard back, so I assume her bones are all intact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With effort, we've been able to get her shoes
on for the rest of this week and I got her excused from P.E. all week long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her foot looks black where it hit - I'm
guessing it would be a dark purple color on white skin like mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway - we were fortunate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I'm going to buy a
lightweight mirror to hang on their wall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But I'll probably wait until Will gets the panelboard up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two walls are still lath and plaster and
they're cracking, so I'm going to get him to cover those all up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">One nice thing
that happened yesterday was that when I got home from going to the high school
to design Ben's baby ad with the yearbook advisor I announced that, due to my
pounding head, I was going to lay down for a little bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ben's SCL provider, who is a friend, was at
the house (in fact, she came early to babysit Ellie and the other kids when
they got off the bus so I could go do this thing with the yearbook advisor - David was out hunting with her grown sons and unavailable to watch the Littles).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I woke up an hour later she was gone,
but she and Ben had made mac and cheese and baked beans - and had fed all the
Littles for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a blessing!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Will had to go to
the dentist again this week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He's
scheduled for a root canal on the 23rd.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But last weekend the problem tooth began causing him all sorts of pain
to the point he was texting me and begging me to get ahold of the dentist NOW -
which I couldn't because it was the weekend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But I left two messages and they called me right away on Monday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was able to go in and the dentist opened
the tooth again and got all the pus out - again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yuck - what a mess. There is absolutely no
part of me that would ever want to be a dentist or even a hygeniest!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But he didn't have time to do the root canal
early, so hopefully, the tooth will hold up until the 23rd.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Last Saturday
evening was special.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was the Single
Parent Provision annual Christmas dinner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Last year I went with my friend, Sarah, but this year I went alone - and
I was really ok with that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I brought the
Littles with me because they had their own party in a different part of the
hotel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They loved it - they got pizza
and presents.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I found myself
mentally contrasting last year's dinner's to this years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I enjoyed last year's, as well, to the point
that I began attending the Mom's Night Out events faithfully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I had the time I would LOVE to get
involved with one of their weekly Bible studies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But last year I sat there thinking, "I
don't belong here."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt sorry
for myself because, unlike the majority of mothers in attendance, I didn't do
anything to cause my single parenthood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not that all single mothers, of course, are responsible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some truly are abandoned. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I felt like, the rest, to some extent,
weren't blameless as to how they ended up as single mothers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If nothing else, maybe they should have
chosen better mates in the first place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But since then
I've come to recognize that attitude for what it is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Pride.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">It doesn't <i>matter</i>
how we ended up on this journey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Goodness
knows, Paul could have left me many times if he had not loved me so much or
been possessed of such high moral character.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It's not like I was this outstanding wife all the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Our stories are
important, but they're only part of the picture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the biggest part is that we're here
now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't think there was a mother in
that room who doesn't love her children and desire to be the very best parent
she can be, despite the hurt her kids have endured.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our kids are not doomed because they don't
have a dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah, it's going to make
things more difficult and definitely doubles the responsibility we bear as
their mom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But hope abounds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I sat at a table
of lovely women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The one beside me was a
slender, professional-looking black woman who has 6 children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We talked quite a bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of hers was adopted as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she's going to college in hopes of
starting a ministry to troubled children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Another is caring for her demanding, invalid mother on top of her own
teenage children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another is engaged to
be married in a few months - not to the father of her child, but to another man
who is willing to parent her daughter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She and her daughter just came back to the States after spending 6
months in Sudan, ministering to victims of sex trafficking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another was just laid off from her job and is
tackling potty training with her toddler son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We all had different stories and circumstances (I was the only widow)
but we had more in common than we did differences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The roads that got us all to this particular
path are different, but we're all on the same path now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">We were served a
delicious meal, heard an inspiring Christian woman speak, and were blessed with
gifts and goodies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The lady who founded
SPP stood up and said at the beginning, "As single moms, we often feel
like we have to do everything ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It's hard to let others do for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I want to say one thing: I know you've got this!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But tonight, let us serve you."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or something to that effect, anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So it was nice and
I am just so grateful for the community of people that came together to do
things like this for us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And that's all I
have right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm going to go put
Ellie down for her nap and keep plugging away at my to-do list (that keeps
getting longer by the minute - I keep thinking of more things that need to be
done).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Oh, and David...I
was mopping my kitchen floor (painfully - this hip in unrelentless in letting
me know it is NOT happy) when I said something about needing to pick up Ellie
from preschool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He quickly said,
"I'll do it!" and just like that he set off on his first solo driving
trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My heart was in my mouth as he
pulled out of the driveway...but 25 min. later he was back, safe and whole.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must have warned him one too many times
about looking out for the little kids and the cars and the traffic that runs
down the street as you're backing out of the parking spots at the preschool
because David began to get this disgusted look on his face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"I <i>know</i> how to do this," he
complained.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know...but....<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">He came home,
quite satisfied with himself and commented that he had never felt "such
freedom" before.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Those words aren't
all that reassuring to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-79033231949830899812015-12-09T12:34:00.000-06:002015-12-09T12:34:13.511-06:00Day 924<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Dec. 9, 2015<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Day 924<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">It's December and
I am slogging through it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>not that terrible, I guess - not like the
last two Decembers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it's worse than
the rest of the year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wonder if I will
ever again have a holiday season where I actually enjoy and anticipate it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Sunday marked 30
months - 2 1/2 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That seems sort of
significant to me because it's half of five years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there's a part of me that has always
thought, "At 5 years, I'll finally be ok."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">"At 5 years,
my life will be back on track."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">"I can
survive anything for 5 years." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Maybe!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although, 2 1/2 years from now I may shake my
head and wonder what I thought was so special about hitting the five year mark.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Yesterday, I got
his grave decorated for Christmas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
Oct, his mother and sister had decorated the grave - with fresh produce
(pumpkins, gourds).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were still
there, only not nearly so fresh anymore. What an icky mess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our cemetery is rural and because of that
there really aren't any rules as far as what type of stone you can have and
what kind of decorations you use.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some
people actually have garden fencing around their stones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some have planted peony bushes that are <i>huge</i>
now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The down side to this lack of
policy is that nobody cleans up your grave, either!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have a groundskeeper but if you have
junk in front of the stone, he's not going to touch it in order to weed eat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">So guess who had
to clean up the rotten pumpkin and gourds?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Yeah...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">They had also left
this poem they had printed onto some supposedly waterproof thing designed for
graves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's one of those that makes me
roll my eyeballs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You see them all the
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The poem is supposed to be from
the perspective of the deceased and he's talking about how he's always with you
and when you're crying at night he's right there with you (creepy).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He's talking about you shouldn't be sad
because Heaven is so awesome so go ahead and live your life, but hurry up and
die, too, so you can back together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">I'm
paraphrasing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is there a problem with
drawing comfort from Scripture rather than cheesy poetry?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">But, I understood
this brought comfort to Paul's family so I wasn't going to remove it from his
grave even though I certainly never would have put up something like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I left it up there yesterday when I
decorated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I discovered this
"waterproof" case is not so much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The sides are already beginning to separate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'll just leave it until it completely gives
way, I guess.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">I got done, rocked
back on my heels to observe my work, and decided that there isn't a whole lot
more sad in the world than decorating a grave for Christmas or a birthday, I
don't think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's the only way you can
spend time "with" your loved one and it's the only thing you can
actually do for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it's not what
you would have preferred to be doing with and for them at these times of
celebration.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">***********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Will got my storm
door hung yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My contractor still
has some things to do on the house and he told me in Oct. he'd be back in a few
weeks to hang the door and do those final things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I haven't heard a peep out of him since.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I finally got ahold of him a couple of weeks
ago and he said he's waiting on his supplier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sigh...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">But it's getting
colder (well, not this week - it's actually unseasonably warm right now, but
that won't last).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I can't wait on
some balky supplier to have a storm door when cold air is blowing into my
house!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It ended up being a rather time
consuming job and took Will several hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But it's all insulated and hung now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">I ended up
dreaming last night that my contractor said he needed <i>more</i> money from me
and when he said he needed a check for over $10,000 I just started
bawling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But then I thought to myself in
my dream, "I'm SO glad Will installed that door himself so I didn't have
to pay for that, too!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Speaking of
dreams, I ended up dreaming about Paul last week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is a very rare occurrence anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the dream I was on the phone with a
repairman who was going to do some work on my van.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For some reason he wanted to talk to a male
before starting the work (sounds kind of sexist to me, as I think about it) so
I wandered into the kitchen and handed the phone to Paul who talked with
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then he hung up and asked,
"Why are we paying someone else to work on our vehicles?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is totally the way he would have
phrased it, too!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">I answered,
"Because on June 6th, you're going to die."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Paul's eyebrows shot up and he looked very
thoughtful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then I began to explain
everything that would happen in the months following his death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He nodded and wandered out of the room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Obviously, time was a very fluid thing in my
dream.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it was interesting to me to
recall it once I awoke.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Sam came home one
day last week, very serious (he always is) and said, "Well, Mom, you<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>might think this is funny, but I have
something to tell you."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He paused
and then said, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">"I have a
girlfriend."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">To my credit, I did
not laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, I asked him what it
was that he liked about this particular classmate (named, "Sky" of
all things!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But on the inside I was
thinking, "Seriously?...and then, "I hate public schools...").<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was reminded of a conversation I overheard
the night of parent/teacher conferences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Two moms were talking and they were commenting how one of the lower
elementary classes seemed to be "pairing up" awfully fast as in,
"boyfriend/girlfriend" stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At the time it made me inwardly roll my eyeballs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It never occurred to me my own kids might get
sucked into that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Later I did talk
to Sam about the importance of saving the words, "I love you" for
someone really, really special and for when he's a lot older.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He seemed to take that to heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">The next night we
went to the elementary Christmas concert.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now, <i>that</i> was a real disappointment to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've always appreciated Ben's Christmas
concerts at the high school level because there is always a selection of sacred
holiday music used.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They've always been
really good concerts, as a result.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
mentioned that to his old music teacher and she commented that the parents and
the community at large seem especially enthusiastic about including songs about
Baby Jesus so she always made sure to do that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In contrast, I remember the joke of a Christmas concert we attended at
the Missouri Valley school when Ben was in kindergarten.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was held a couple of weeks before
Christmas but was called a "Winter concert."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every single song was about Santa Claus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I homeschooled for the next 7 years, but
found Pleasantville's Christmas concerts, once Ben was back in school, to be
very refreshing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">So imagine how
disappointed I was last Thursday<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>night
when I got to the school and was handed a program entitled, "Holiday
Concert."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>these elementary kids all got up on stage and
began singing songs about Santa and getting lots of presents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sigh...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Fortunately,
intermission came after the 2nd graders performed so we were able to leave at
that point, rather than having to sit through three more grade levels of
similar performances.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">As we were
leaving, Sam pointed out a father/daughter duo and excitedly told me,
"That's Sky, Mom!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sky is a
good six inches taller than Sam, which made me smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Tomorrow night is
Ellie's preschool Christmas concert (or "Holiday" concert?) so I will
be curious to see what they do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
preschool is held in the basement of the Methodist church and the program is in
the church auditorium, so surely they will have some sacred selections - right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">*************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">It's sunny out
today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The weathermen are saying to not
count on having a white Christmas this year, in fact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess that's ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We've had quite a few white ones in recent
years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seemed like it rained non-stop
the last two weeks of November.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just
remembered the other day an experience that I wanted to share.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">So it was one of
those rainy mornings and I was heading north on Highway 5 after dropping Ellie
off at preschool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I needed to go to Des
Moines, as I recall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of a sudden, I noticed
this pretty rainbow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I drove closer,
the clouds dissipated and I had to reach for my sunglasses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The brilliance of the sun and rainbow was
simply astounding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My first thought was
to wonder if there are rainbows in Heaven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And then it occurred to me that maybe what I was experiencing, this
sudden brightness and explosion of color, was just a taste of Heaven sent down
for our pleasure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sat in my van while
passing under the sun and rainbows and felt warm from the inside out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">As I looked in my
rearview mirror I could still see the gray clouds behind me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And after just a few miles, I found myself
removing my sunglasses as I drove into more clouds and rain began once again
spattering the windshield.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It occurred
to me that life is a lot like this highway (I think Rascal Flatts recorded a
song by that title, in fact).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">So much of life is
just plain <i>hard.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it seems
like problems seem to multiply when you're already in the midst of one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or as the adage says, "Trouble comes in
threes!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But every so often in the
midst of of sludging through one heartache and trial after another, a bit of
sunshine and happiness slips in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God
clears the skies for a little bit and you get to experience a gorgeous rainbow
and sunshine in the form of some unexpected happiness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">It won't
last.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We know that in this sin-sick,
rotting world, nothing good can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But for
a little while, that happiness is enough to infuse our weary souls with enough
hope to shoulder through the next round of clouds and rain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "century gothic";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "century gothic";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-82127120808726029022015-12-01T15:53:00.001-06:002015-12-01T15:53:07.450-06:00Day 916
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Dec. 1, 2015<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Day 916<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Thanksgiving was
last week and I began to feel a bit panicky - like I always do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Christmas was only 4 weeks away and I hadn't
done a thing yet!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'd like to be one of
those people who is ready by Nov. 1, but I don't think that will ever happen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But, I'm feeling a
lot better now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent a lot of
yesterday on the computer, running up charges on my credit card<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(all budgeted for - don't worry) and those
brown UPS trucks ought to start chugging up my street any time now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The tree is up and so are a lot of the
decorations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've got this!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Emotionally, I'm
hanging in there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's harder, I can
tell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started noticing a weighed
feeling in my spirit about a week and a half ago or so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But so far it isn't as hard as it was the
last two years at this time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't
know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it's going to get
worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But so far, I'm hanging on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Thanksgiving was
good this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We went to see my folks
and both brothers and families made it from out of state.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That always makes it more fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love it when my<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kids can see their cousins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It helps alleviate my guilt for taking them
away from their cousins on the other side of the family!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">It took me 5 hours
to get back home Friday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that was
because we stopped and saw Sara on the way back, hit a drive through for<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>lunch (which is never a quick process when
you have 6 people in the van)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and then
David wanted to brave the crowds and run into a couple of stores in W. Des
Moines.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He especially wanted to go to
Barnes and Noble so he could get the issue of Sports Illustrated featuring the
Iowa Hawkeyes (undefeated this season - man, how I wish Paul was alive to see
this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was so down on the Hawkeyes the
last few years because they weren't doing so well then. If he could only see
them now!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's out at Jordan Creek
Mall and I literally could not find a parking place because it was Black Friday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to just keep driving around while he
went in the store.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I eventually made
it home and got my entire house cleaned before bed, which made me feel much
more peaceful inside.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But then I got the
mail and I was so sad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We've known for a
few weeks that it was a distinct possibility but the letter that arrived
confirmed it: Pastor and Marcia are leaving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I do not doubt
this is God's will for their lives and for our church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I don't understand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They've been here for almost 20 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have been so wonderful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marcia has been mentoring/counseling me since
before Paul's death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since his death,
they've been my "go to" people for my many questions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And now God is
moving them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I told the Littles
that night because I didn't want them to hear it from any other kids and
wonder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was so shocked when Ellie's
eyes immediately began to well and she started crying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, I looked at Lizzie, whose head was bent
over, and within moments, two big, fat tears plopped onto the table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never dreamed the kids would be upset over
this!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So I quickly told
them the things I've been telling myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>God knows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God has a plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someday we might even understand it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We're not leaving our church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In time, God will give us a new pastor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I didn't tell them
this, but I've had the thought that as much as this has to do with Pastor and
Marcia and our church as a whole, I think God can and will use this to help nudge
me into a little more independence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's
been 2 1/2 years now and I've been feeling for some time that it's time to step
out and start living again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's time to
figure out what that life is going to look like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suspect that God is going to use this
separation as one of the methods of getting me to move.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But, oh, I don't
like it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm going to miss them so much!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">***************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Last night I had
parent-teacher conferences for Ellie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
was about dumbfounded when her teacher expressed to me that "Ellie is just
<i>perfect</i>!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said that
Ellie is one the most helpful, mature, obedient, and kind students in her
class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to interject,
"You're sure you're talking about MY Ellie?" but I just smiled and
nodded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The teacher said Ellie is the
first to help the younger students and whenever anything gets spilled, Ellie is
right there cleaning it up, even if she didn't make the mess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She showed me Ellie's work binder in which
the kids practice writing their letters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Every single page was carefully filled with her writing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The teacher said she figures she's doing good
if she can get the kids to trace and write maybe three of the letters before
losing interest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But Ellie consistently
fills up the entire page with her letters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Wow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I began to think that maybe I've misjudged
this girl of mine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But then before
bed, during her bath, she took dixie cups and deliberately threw them full of
water all over the bathroom floor and hamper, completely saturating
everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's the Ellie I know!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I don't have
anything else to write about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Now, I'll think of
a few things, I'm sure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Oh, I got my
official acceptance letter from BVU on Saturday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess I'm in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I emailed my adviser this morning asking
about filling out loan applications.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
need to buy another laptop. And whatever books I need for this first
class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I think that's it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm good to go.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Last night, my
friend, Deb, was here working with Ben.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She said, "Sam tells me<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>you're going back to school?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So I explained everything to her and she told me she really thought this
was a fantastic thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said it's a
step forward and those steps are what I need to be taking right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She reminded me that a good portion of
college work is writing papers and "Those will be a breeze for
you!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope she's right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've been helping Will write them for the
past two years (including last night - he has this neat application where we
can both be writing on the same paper at the same time on different computers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm going to have to have him download that
for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not that I'll be getting any
help writing my papers, though) so I guess I'm in practice, anyway!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Well, the kiddos
will be home soon so I suppose I had better wrap this up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, I really don't have anything else to
write about!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--></span></i></span><i><span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-72058956734139942582015-11-21T20:11:00.000-06:002015-11-21T20:11:50.323-06:00Day 905
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Nov. 20, 2015<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Day 905<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Well, today didn't
start out as planned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lizzie bought
herself a kindle this week and since it came we've had all kinds of trouble
with the content from Sam's kindle getting onto hers and stuff like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really hate electronics... so, I called
Kindle today and was on the phone with them for TWO hours while my kids went
crazy and started bleeding and yelling at each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Argh...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But I do think the
problem is resolved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the people at
Amazon/Kindle are super nice on the phone, even if they have hard-to-understand
Indian accents.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">We have snow!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lots of snow!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not as much as some parts of the state, but I think we have a good
5-6" outdoors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kids are beyond
excited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It started snowing in earnest
around 5 last night and when we got home Sam and Lizzie were outside playing in
it and then requesting hot chocolate at 8:30 pm (which ended up being buggy, a
fact they didn't discover until they had drank most of it - I may have just
scarred them, as well as given them some intestinal parasites).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Actually, I wasn't
too thrilled about the snow last night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For months, David has been planning on attending the Back on Track
conference which is something they started doing for the teens in the area this
time every year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it's designed
to kind of renew the camp fever that they come home with every July and
August.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This year's theme has to do with
God in the midst of suffering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, David
was especially interested in attending.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>By the time I got halfway to church the snow was <i>really</i> coming
down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got him there and turned around
and went home and it was the most harrowing drive I've had in a long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a great deal of difficulty seeing because
the snow was coming right at me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
roads were slick and I had a couple of instances were I began to spin - one
time on the hill leading into Swan, which has steep ditches on either side of
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fortunately, God kept us on the road
and I did make it home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But I knew I
couldn't go back out at 10 and retrieve him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It's a two day conference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
were coming back last night and going back this morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I did some quick texting and found a place
for him to spend the night with one of the other youth group guys that went.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'll have to get him this afternoon but the
roads have been plowed now and it's sunny out. Of course, last night I couldn't help but lament the fact that if Paul was still alive he could go retrieve David late at night in the snow. He never minded driving in it. Sigh...</span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And next week
we're supposed to have some days in the 50s, so I think we'll probably lose
most of the snow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not
complaining.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The older I get, the less I
like the snow - because of things like last night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But it sure is
pretty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">The last of my
fall birthdays was Tuesday, with Ben's 19th.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I'm always relieved once his arrives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It is <i>work</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to get through
4 birthdays and Halloween, all within 3 1/2 weeks!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">He had his very
last IEP meeting on his birthday, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So I brought cupcakes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We didn't
have a ton of stuff to discuss, mostly because it's his senior year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He's not doing a whole lot of academics
because he's doing so much work experience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But, they did tell me is reading at an 11th grade level now, which blows
my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he started 9th grade, he
was barely at a 5th grade level.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His
teachers and principal all made the comment that what you see on the surface
with Ben is not all there is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They said
he knows so much more than he lets on or that anyone would dream, just meeting
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that - my mom's been telling
me that since he was two years old!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">We left the
meeting and there were a group of girls, maybe a dozen or so, sitting in the
hallway for some reason (school was out - they must have been part of an
after-school group) and when they saw Ben they burst into, "Happy birthday
to You!" and serenaded him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sweet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The white board in his
classroom was covered in birthday messages and the lunch room ladies made him a
sign and taped all kinds of candy to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He is well loved. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">***************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I had an interview
Wed. at Buena Vista.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm going to try to
condense this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Short story: finishing my
bachelors is going to take more than I had originally<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hoped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Shorter story: I'm still going to do it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">The rep I spoke
with a couple weeks ago told me that I could totally do an English degree
on-line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was only partially right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am going to have to travel to Newton (40
min away) for a few classes - unless by the time I need them they are offered
on-line, which is a possibility.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
when I was thinking on-line, I was thinking, do-on-my-time type of
classes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, some of the classes are
like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But most are what they call
"blackboard collaboratives" which means I have to be in front of my
computer at certain times participating in class and listening to the
instructor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Also, it's going
to take 4 years doing this part-time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And they're going to be 4 <i>intense</i> years, even with only one class
per 8 week term.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">When I left that
day, my head was whirling and I felt sick at heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't know how this is all going to work
out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hate the thought of taking away
more time from the kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't know
HOW I will add attending class 5 hours a week, plus doing schoolwork on top of
everything else I don't have time to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don't know how that last year of school will work out when I really
need to get to work in 3 years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I don't know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But, then I had to
go to Walmart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the employees I dealt
with were all middle aged and older women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And they were grumpy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I knew
with an absolute certainty that I do not want <b>that</b> for my future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to provide for my kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's no way around that fact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will be losing Social Security for Ben and
David in the next few years which doesn't leave me a lot of income.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've got my investments and some in savings -
but not enough to live off of very long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have to find a way to generate a decent income!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't want to do it by working an $8 an
hour a job, working twice as many hours to make up for the low pay and having
to find a sitter for my<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kids during the
evenings and summers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I was talking to
Will later and he said, "Do you really have any other choice? (about
attending school)"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, I suppose
not.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But how will I do
this?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The class I am signed up for in
January (Intro to Literary Theory) meets every Mon. and Thurs. nights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My moms group and my writing group meet on
Mondays. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hate the thought of giving up
those relationships for 4 years (other than the occasional term when I don't
have to be in class on a Monday).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I want to
write!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How does going to school fit in
with writing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would be one thing, I
guess, if I could parlay my writing abilities into a $60,000 annual
income.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I'm not quite sure that's a
reasonable goal, esp. with the way the publishing world has changed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And will the kids
be ok?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am going to have to give up
Wed. night church and teaching Patch Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Will they become spiritually bankrupt with the combination of attending
public school, having a stressed, too busy mom, and only being in church one
day a week?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although, as sweet Arien
reminded me this week, our spiritual lives are not dependent on how often we
are in church... <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And if I do this,
I'll be almost 49 when I finish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's
old!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I guess I'll turn 49 regardless
of whether or not I go back to school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So, there's
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But then I remember how I have
diligently prayed for career direction for about 15 months now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And then there's
the possibility of remarriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean,
there's not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nobody's asked me out, I'm
not looking, and if someone did, I'd probably tell them I am not ready.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, this week I went to lunch with a friend
who had a not-so-good second marriage after being widowed after 50 yrs of
marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, granted, she's going to be
more cautious than the average remarried<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But she asked me what I'm
thinking regarding marrying again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
then she strongly cautioned me to wait until the kids are older.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And those are kind of my thoughts, anyway, as
much as I miss being married.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ever since
the girls arrived our household has been in a constant state of change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They need some stable years before
introducing new people into the mix.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">If I am
financially independent then I will be less likely to fall into a bad marriage
because I need to be taken care of.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So...the short of
it (after a very long explanation).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do
not know how this is going to work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
I'm going to do my best to make it happen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">After going to
Walmart Wed. I got in the van, turned on my mp3 player (which is permanently on
"shuffle")<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and told God,
"Ok, I need you to send me a song here to tell me what to do!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And Steven Curtis Chapman's "Take
Another Step" began to play.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Last weekend Will
started experiencing jaw pain and bad headaches.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He tried everything - oils, drugs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was convinced it was a sinus infection,
but I was dubious because he hadn't been sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I suggested maybe he had a bad tooth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No, no, no - it was definitely a sinus infection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He got sicker and sicker as the week went on
and asked me to call the dr.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did but
couldn't get an appointment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wed.
morning he texted me and told me he was lightheaded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told him to go to Urgent Care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They tested him for the flu and told him he
didn't have it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He came home, his body
shaking and went straight to bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thursday morning he actually felt a little better but still had terrible
jaw pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He asked me to call the
dentist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Didn't I suggest it could be a
tooth problem?...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">He went and I was
right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, being right comes
with a price tag for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dentist
cleaned out the tooth which he said is "dead."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will said when he took the filling out a stench
just poured out of his mouth. Yuck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's
packed right now but he's scheduled for a root canal and crown around
Christmas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">**********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">The other night
Sam was taking a shower and I realized he'd been in there for quite some time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went into the bathroom and didn't hear a
thing in the tub, other than the water running.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I pulled back the curtain and he was laying in the tub, the spray
pummeling his body - sound asleep!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And here's another
one for the "ugh" file.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
recently arranged with the city's CPA to start reconciling our books every
month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm doing it because 1) I can't
balance those things but also because 2) I want a second set of eyes on the
city's checkbook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems like every month
I hear of some small town Iowa clerk who has been arrested for
embezzlement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I've written about
this before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't ever want
accusations like that leveled my direction.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">This week the news
hit the wires of the clerk in Casey who is accused of using the city's credit
card (I have one of those, too) for personal expenses to the tune of
$300,000.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The night before the state
auditors were to come in and go through the city's financial records, she
burned down City Hall!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now she's headed
for federal court and prison.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Well, that's all I
know this week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to be up a little
early tomorrow morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The water guy
called me and needs to stop by my house at seven AM (!) to re-test our water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He did it Friday and the results were a
little funky so now he has to get a new sample in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And since his work shift starts I don't know
- sometime- he has to be here at 7.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
suppose I really should be dressed before I let a man into my house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to get my sink cleaned out too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I'm going to do my
two week shopping on Monday and then Tuesday will be super busy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to get a filling done that day,
too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then it's time for
Thanksgiving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And after that the
Christmas rush begins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not sure when
I'll get to breathe again, actually.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Maybe in 4 years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-63878990729144959242015-11-16T09:38:00.000-06:002015-11-16T09:38:01.086-06:00Day 900
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> <strong>Nov. 15, 16, 2015</strong></span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><u>Sunday Evening</u></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">This won't be a
long post.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I only have a few things to
write about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I just got the girls to
bed and I find that, like always, I am reluctant to get started on the nightly
routine which involves getting everything out and ready for school so it's not
too rushed and panicked before the bus comes in the morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, what better way to put off doing what I
don't really want to do than to write?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Besides, I've already been on Facebook two dozen times tonight and
really don't want to go back there...tired of reading posts from my liberal
friends reminding the world that the difference between the KKK and Westboro
church and Christians is the same difference between ISIS and Muslims.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm tired of reading posts with the F word in
them and I'm even tired of friends who feel the need to remind me exactly how
many Saturdays I have left until Christmas...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Of course, I don't
like reading that last one because then I get panicked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't even start thinking about Christmas
until after Ben's birthday (which is in two days).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can't handle all that mental pressure - one
celebration at a time!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">***********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I got a little bit
of writing done this past week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
somewhere towards the end of the week when the ending for my book <i>came</i>
to me - out of the blue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I quickly
scribbled some notes and then yesterday I did the actual writing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's just a few paragraphs, but it sort of
gives me goose bumps. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And then I started
the City Clerk manual this week, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
am not planning to quit my job up there but I have a feeling - an unexplainable
certainty - that my days doing that job are numbered somehow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I'm going to get fired with the new
mayor and council coming in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't
know!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I want to leave behind what I
didn't have - a training manual on how to do the work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I found out Ellie
has preschool conferences in a couple of weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Really?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>Conferences </i>for
preschool?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What are they going to talk
about - how well my child does at fingerpainting or refraining from biting her
classmates?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only value I could
possibly see would be to get the teachers' input on kindergarten
readiness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although, as a parent, I feel
more than capable of assessing that myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Besides, she'll have pre-school testing to determine that in the spring,
anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So it's one more thing I have to
find time to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Today, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>one of Ellie's preschool classmates was at
church (a family in our church has babysat him since he was born) and so she
was enthusiastically waving and calling good-bye to him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lizzie began to tease her saying,
"Jacob's your <i>boyfriend</i>!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Of course, Ellie immediately protested this and I attempted to diffuse
the situation by saying I was sure Jacob was only Ellie's friend (while
mentally rolling my eyes - does the boyfriend stuff have to start this young?).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ellie agreed, but then added, "It's ok,
Mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jacob's a Christian."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yep - that totally makes dating at four ok.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">******************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">We had a nasty
storm last Wed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess I mentioned in
my last post about the possibility of that that they were forecasting at the
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It came, just like the weathermen
said it would.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, I had no
intention of being out in it, but like a lot of good intentions...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">A little bit after
3 I got a text from the school saying they were keeping the kids because of the
weather.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But parents could pick them up
if they wanted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Darn tootin'...I wasn't
going to leave my kids for who knows how long at the school, possibly scared to
death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it was a truly dangerous
situation, I wouldn't have gone, but I really felt like I would be ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sky was darkening and it was beginning to
rain, but it didn't seem super ominous, either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">So, David and I
rushed down to the schools.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was
pouring by then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He went into the high
school to get Ben and I went into the elementary school to get the others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was absolutely drenched by the time I got
in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It didn't help that the zipper on my
trench coat broke a few weeks ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
found my kids and Sam's teacher commented, "I thought I'd probably see
you!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think she's getting to know
my overly-involved self by now!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">We should have
just waited in the school building for the storm to pass but I didn't know how
long it was going to rage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I didn't
want Ben and David sitting in the van all alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, the kids and I ventured out into the
blinding rain and wind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was awful and
seemed to take <i>forever</i> to get across the street to the van.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were all soaked to our underpants, but
finally we were in the van.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, I knew
I needed to scoot and get to higher ground in case it began to flood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">As I drove out of
the parking lot, the rain began to lessen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><i>Are you kidding me?!</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
just risked life and limb for these kids thinking this would be a long,
protracted scary<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>time, and it was
already <i>over?</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the plus side, I
now didn't need to worry about driving into flood waters or being swept off the
road by a tornado.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So there was that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">We got some hail
at the house, but no real damage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lost
half the leaves on my burning bush and I found a huge limb from the willow tree
nestled inside it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot of the willow
branches ended up on the opposite side of the house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All the deck furniture was blown to one
corner of the deck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And a few days later
I discovered my<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>metal pumpkin garage
door decoration became a fatality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The wind
ripped that thing right apart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Later, we found
out that an EF 1 tornado did hit Knoxville (10 min, south of Pville).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It tore off part of the roof of the
Walmart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess one of Sam's classmates
was in there at the time...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">But all's well
that ends well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a particular
horror of tornados that probably has a lot to do with growing up in the
Midwest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I also have vivid memories
of the aftermath of the tornado that hit my grandparents' home in Nov. 1975
when I was only 4 years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don't forget
things like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a Facebook
friend who was a real-life friend of Paul's.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His home was destroyed by an Omaha tornado when he was 5 years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He, his mom, and his siblings cowered in the
basement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When it passed, all that was
left was the basement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He references
that event frequently in his FB posts to this day, 40 years later.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Onto war...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Every year the
school hosts a Veterans Day program and Sam came home, deeply moved by the
event.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have noticed his growing
interest in American history over the last few months, anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, they told the kids the story of how our
national anthem was written.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am pretty
familiar with this story, myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam
related it to me and I explained to him the part of the story they left out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">The reason our
flag was still standing that quiet morning after being fired upon all night
long at Fort Henry was because the bodies of the dead soldiers and patriots
held it up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because of those noble
sacrifices Francis Scott Key received an affirmative answer when he asked that
morning if the flag still flew.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Sam was in awe
when I told him that part of the story.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">This afternoon he
and Lizzie were working on a Thanksgiving placemat project my friend Deb
brought them today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I happened to look
at Sam's and under the pre-printed, "I'm thankful For:" he had
carefully printed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I'm thankful for the revulonshune woor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We the U.S.A. We world be stuck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It world be bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm so happy. that we live in ir U.S.A.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm happy.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Actually, he had
first written he was thankful for the "sivill" war which confused me
until I realized what he was talking about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I couldn't imagine why we'd be thankful for the Civil War, but then I
realized he was referencing our conversation earlier in the week about the Revolutionary
War.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, Sam stood there with actual
tears in his eyes and explained that if it wasn't for those brave soldiers we
wouldn't have our country today and things would be very, very bad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I really like the
person this kid is growing into.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<u><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Monday Morning<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">I ended up needing
to help Will with a paper last<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>night so
I wasn't able to finish this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He's
writing on the expectations of fatherhood and how sitcoms<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>influence fatherhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it's for his Comp class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He's in a lot of pain right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It might be sinus related. It's in his
teeth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was so bad he spent the night
sleeping upright in the recliner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
tried to convince him to let me make him a doctor's appt today but he doesn't
want to miss work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that goes until 9
tonight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I hope the Advil is enough
to hold it off until he can get to the dr which probably won't happen until
Wed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Today I am going
to lunch with a couple of older widow friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Technically, I guess they're elderly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>One of them anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She's in her
80s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I don't see either one as
elderly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose the older I get the
more that happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The word,
"elderly" will be something I only reference to centurians before too
long!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Then I need to run
some errands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am on the hunt for a
short trench coat and I thought of a couple more stores that might carry
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would be great if I could find
one today because the zipper on mine is completely broken and I really<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>need to replace the coat. Today would be a
great day to do that because it's cold and raining!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tonight I have my mom's group.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">Tomorrow is Ben's <i>last</i>
IEP meeting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's also his
birthday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I might bring cupcakes
to that to celebrate that it's his last meeting, along with his birthday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wednesday will be super busy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to take Ellie to preschool, run up to
DMACC and get my FAFSA filed, run back down and pick up Ellie, and then drive
over to Newton for a pre-admissions interview at Buena Vista.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thursday is open.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Friday night my scrapbooking ladies are
coming over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Saturday David will be at a
teen conference up at Faith.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;">And like that,
another week will be wrapped up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--></span></i></span><i><span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-77525284895445473462015-11-10T20:54:00.000-06:002015-11-10T21:01:02.485-06:00Day 894<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></b></div>
<strong>Nov. 10, 2015</strong><br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Day 894<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">This day is slipping away
entirely too fast and I'm not getting done nearly what I had hoped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh well - story of my life, I guess.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I had to spend an hour and
a half with the dishwasher repairman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
turned out that pumpkin seeds lodged in the drainpipe were the issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oops.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But he didn't charge me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe
that's because he was entertained by Ellie the entire time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I sat in the other room and graded
Geography she sat right beside the repairman and kept up a running commentary
on everything from the color of his hair to how high she can count.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, Bella, dumb cat, went and plopped
herself down right in front of him while he was trying to work on the
appliance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bet he was glad to get to his
next job...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Will turned 21 last
Monday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I bet he is one of the few 21
year olds who spent his birthday with his family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>that some kids in one of his classes found out it was his birthday so he
got a number of suggestions about<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>"hitting the bar" that night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I remember that was such a big deal when I turned 21, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like Will, I was going to a secular college
at the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although, I do remember that
night some friends took me out to eat and I was so thrilled when the waiter
offered me the wine list!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It didn't
matter that I didn't have any interest in drinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just getting the affirmation that I was legal
enough was all I wanted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Arien took the day off work
and while Will was at school she came over and stuffed his room full of
balloons - some with candy and love notes inside them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don't know how many she got stuffed in there, but it was a lot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Then, that evening we went
to David's final flag football game and then out to eat as a family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We got home and Will, Arien, and David took
off to Pleasantville to watch the rest of what ended up being their last
play-off game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then they came home
and Will blew out his "21" candle and we had cake and ice-cream.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I wonder how many more
birthdays of his we'll celebrate together?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Well, ideally, he'll live next door to me and we'll celebrate them all,
but realism tells me otherwise...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Tuesday was Election Day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will was easily re-elected to the city
council.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of the rest of the seats
were filled by write-in votes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As the
clerk, I found this somewhat embarrassing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am the one who has to deal with the county auditor - who is very
understanding, but frustrated like I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In late summer, I mailed out detailed instructions to all the
townspeople telling them how to fill out the paperwork to get their names on
the ballot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will was the only one who
bothered to turn in the paperwork.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
was some talk amongst certain residents about who was willing to serve and who
everyone ought to vote for and I didn't know what to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I finally decided, the weekend before
elections, that I would go vote - but only for the name actually on the ballot,
which was Will's. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If a person desires to
serve their city in an elected capacity, but is not willing to even do the
little bit of work required to get his name on the ballot, what does that say
about the amount of work they'll be willing to invest into their city once elected?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">An election I kept a close
eye on was nearby Knoxville's.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Knoxville
has a small tribute in a public park dedicated to the fallen soldier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It features a metal cut-out of a soldier
kneeling on his comrade's fresh grave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
white cross stands next to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well,
someone (more than likely, an out-of-town liberal group deliberately targeting
small cities) complained about the "separation of church and state"
and demanded that the city remove the cross.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In August a huge rally was held at the park and I've gotten a kick out
of driving around town since because people <i>everywhere</i> have erected
white crosses on their lawns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One
homeowner even put up a sign beside his that reads, "Be
Offended."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am reminded of 1 Cor. 1:18 that says the
message of the cross is "foolishness to those who are
perishing."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a literal example
of that this whole event has been!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Despite the community
support, the mayor and council voted to remove the cross, anyway, after
Veterans Day, saying the city couldn't afford a potential lawsuit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The citizens of Knoxville and central Iowa
altogether were outraged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, those
council members that voted to have the cross removed were voted out of office
last Tues. night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The cross will still
come down because the new terms don't start until January, but the promise is
that the citizens will then persistently petition the city government to have
it reinstated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The other day Ellie was
wearing a button down shirt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told her,
"Oh, we need to button up one more."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She peered down at her shirt and, puzzled,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>asked, "Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nobody can see my boobs."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">And then there was this one
that I shared on Facebook:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 4.5pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Ellie (age 4) and I were driving around
today and from the backseat I could hear her making some soft choking and other
excited noises. "Mom!" I heard her quietly shriek. Assuming she
wanted me, I asked her what she needed. She replied, "Oh, nothing, Mom. I
was just pretending you were murdering me."<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">She really scares
me.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">I'm not so sure a
good mom would be laughing, but I am anyway!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The other night at Patch Club, Sam volunteered
to copy the night's<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>verse onto the
chalkboard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had not realized how much
school has improved his handwriting until I saw what he had written.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He remained at the chalkboard and a few
minutes later I heard the other students giggling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked up and Sam had chalked, above the
verse, "Your butt." He wasn't being blasphemous - he wrote it way above where the verse was written. He was being an 8 year old boy, is what it was.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">It was just one of
the moments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Part of me wanted to wail,
"Where did I go wrong?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
the other part of me was sort of impressed that he used the correct form of
"your,"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">***********************
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">I had parent
teacher conferences last Thursday night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This, of course, was my first-ever time to do this at the elementary
school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Next year, I'm going to put a
time buffer in between the kids' scheduled times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The person in front of me for Sam's ran over
which meant we were super rushed so I could get to Lizzie's on time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fortunately, there was nobody scheduled after
Lizzie's, so we were able to take a little more time there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">While I was
waiting for Sam's teacher, I chatted a little bit with the mom sitting beside
me on the chairs outside the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
worried me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She wore a very low cut top
and evidently, a push-up bra.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every time
she laughed, her bosom would jiggle all over the place, threatening to pop
right out, I was afraid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It made it kind
of hard to concentrate on her face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
yet, another reason for modesty...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Anyway, I totally
forgave her, though, because she asked who my 2nd grader was and when I told
her, she replied, "Oh, he is such a sweetie!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How she knows that, I have no idea, unless
she has helped out in the classroom or heard reports from her own second-grader
(a boy, named, "Paul," which you don't hear much anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, by the way, there is also a boy in Sam's
class named, "Stanton," which kind of makes me laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's such a dignified, upper-crust type of
name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I actually met Stanton yesterday
when I picked Sam up to go get his new glasses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Stanton is...well, how shall I say this?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>By the 6th grade, he will probably have the body to be mistaken for a
Varsity football player...great big kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He looked at me and greeted, "Hi, Sam's mom!")<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">So, anyway, Sam's
conference went really well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His
teacher, who is younger than me by just a few years, has been teaching for
quite awhile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said that Sam is one
of the politest children she has ever run across.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said she has also observed his peer
interactions and said he is just as polite with the kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, and she laughed as she told this
story, Sam and another boy were eating lunch in the classroom the other
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam had earned that privilege with
good behavior in the classroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When the
kids do this, they are free to go to recess as soon as they finish, so they
have some motivation to eat really fast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Well, that's what this friend of Sam's was doing and his teacher told me
she heard Sam caution him to "Slow down - your food can't digest when you
eat it so fast!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently, Sam
also suggested to his friend that it would be wiser if he ate his sandwich
first and saved his dessert for last for nutrition purposes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His teacher said to me, "I could just
hear his mother as he said those things!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Hah!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Sam's reading
tutor was in<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>on the conference,
too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've had a couple of testy emails
from her and my opinion wasn't really changed at the conference, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My premise with Sam's reading difficulties
has been<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- let's not freak out about
this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've explained to both his teacher
and the tutor that I am very willing to have Sam tutored and to go over things
at home with him, but I am not going to panic about this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He <i>will</i> learn to read (and he can read
-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it's just not with the fluency and as
many words per minute as the state demands) but if his brain is not ready, this
isn't something that can be forced.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sam's teacher seemed to be inclined to agree with me, but I could tell his
tutor was less-than-impressed with my refusal to panic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sigh...I really hate government schools...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">But anyway, the
good news is that his reading has improved significantly since the beginning of
the school year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As long as he continues
on this upwards trajectory he should be able to meet the required standards
demanded by the state and the good 'ol No Child Left Behind act.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Summer school might be in his future at some
point, but I'm not going to worry about that right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Besides, the kid has character - and that's
worth far more than any top reading score.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Lizzie's
conference went well, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Academically,
she's doing really well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt like I
had totally failed her at her reading, but her teacher referred to her initial
difficulties as mere "gaps" in her education and I'm totally not
going to worry about that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every single
student, whether homeschooled, public, or private schooled is going to have gaps
in their education.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is impossible to
cover absolutely every single thing and to make sure the child absorbs every
single thing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Lizzie's teacher
asked me what Lizzie says about school and I took a deep breath and told her
honestly, "Well, Lizzie's scared of you."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then her teacher felt bad, which was not
my intent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told her I doubted it was
due to anything she had done at all, but that is what Lizzie tells me and,
besides,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>she <i>did</i> ask...Actually,
her teacher thanked me and said that showed her how she needed to communicate
with Lizzie better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she commented
that Lizzie has seemed ill at ease with her in one-on-one settings so this
helps explain that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">I also talked with
this teacher about<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lizzie's difficulty
in making friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was interesting
because the same topic came up with that mom I chatted with outside Sam's
classroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both told me the exact same
thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They said the Pleasantville is a
great little community, but if you are new, it takes <i>forever</i> to be
accepted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That mom I mentioned said her
family moved here 12 years ago and she still doesn't feel all that
included!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Great... although, this
definitely hasn't been the case with Ben.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And even by the time Will was an upperclassman on the football team, he
had developed a camaraderie with some of the players.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although, I think there is a definite
difference between girls and guys, which would explain why Sam is having an
easier time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boys are good with finding
someone to toss a ball with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Girls want
to find a friend to share all their secrets with.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Lizzie's teacher
showed me a paper Lizzie had written in September in which she talked about her
old life, before me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It about made me
cry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She talked about how she had to
move a lot and how scared she always was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But now she's happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then she
mentioned Paul's death, which made me sniff.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Lizzie's teacher
said that I seem "really laid back" (yay, me - that's what I want to
be, anyway, even if I'm not so much) and she thinks I am "really good for
Lizzie."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Despite Lizzie's
fears, I really like this teacher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well,
I like Sam's, too, and I want to request both for their siblings that follow in
future years.</span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"></span> </div>
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Oh, and then I dashed over to the high school (in a thunderstorm) and popped my head into Ben's classroom. It really isn't necessary because I've always been in pretty constant contact with his two resource teachers. Plus, we have his IEP meeting next week. But I like them. We ended up talking mostly about prom and senior pictures and things like that. And then Ben's music teacher happened to poke her head into the classroom and since I had hoped to touch base with her, that worked out well. One of Ben's teachers told me, "You have done <em>such</em> a good job with Ben. You need to be proud." And the other stood there nodding her head and thanking me for being such an "easy" parent.</span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"></span> </div>
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">So, it was a good night and pretty good for my ego, too, I think.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Today there was a
knock at the door that I didn't hear because I was talking with the dishwasher
repairman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ellie did, though, and
answered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She came back into the kitchen
and hollered, "Hey, Mom - there's some black people here!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it's safe to say that she has become
aware of differing skin colors...I was wondering when that was going to happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think everyone is aware that she is aware
now... </span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"></span> </div>
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">It was a couple of salesmen. I shooed them away (gently, because they're always about the ages of my older children and I'd want someone else to be kind to them) because you have to have a solicitation permit here. It doesn't matter who it is - these young salesmen always assure me that their bosses took care of that and then I have to tell them um, no they didn't because the permits are issued by me and I know I didn't sell one to their boss!</span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">*******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Yesterday, Sam and
I were talking as I drove and I said something about abortion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam was quiet for a minute and then said,
"I think the moms and the doctors need to be charged with first degree
murder because they planned to do what they did."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, I've always considered abortion to
be murder, but I never thought about it in terms like that before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam is a very concrete thinker, though, so I
am not really surprised.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">*******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">I am not a great
mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are times I like to <i>think</i>
I'm a great mom and I always <i>hope</i> that I am one...but I'm not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since the girls arrived 3 1/2 years ago,
bedtime has always been a battle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I
don't stand over them and tell them exactly what to do, they always end up
goofing around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, I get mad, throw
them half-dressed into bed, and stomp down the stairs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's not a nice way to end the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do not recall having bedtime struggles like
this with any of the boys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe time
has dulled my memory, I don't know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So,
anyway, this happened last night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
especially mad because I had taken the kids to Pizza Hut for supper in order to
redeem their Book-It pizzas (a program through the school where they earn free
pizza for reading a certain number of books every month) and when we got home, I
told the kids to go get ready for bed, which Sam did easily and
willingly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the girls were up to
their normal tricks and I was not a happy mother by the time I got them in bed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">It suddenly
occurred to me before I went to bed that other than to tell the girls, "Go
get ready for bed" I've never actually laid out for them exactly what I
want them to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, they may have a
general idea, but nothing specific.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
then, being little kids, they're apt to get distracted and forget things,
too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So today, I made a chart, complete
with clip art and written instructions of the seven steps to bedtime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was actually very impressed with
Ellie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was observing my chart and
then commented to me, "Don't you want us to go potty, too?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Obviously, even though she can't read, she
was able to decode the pictures and able to figure out what was missing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I re-did my chart to include a picture of a
toilet and hung it again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">And bedtime went
like a charm tonight!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sent them
upstairs and then about 10 min. later I followed and they were sitting in their
beds, pajamaed, sweet-breathed, and sleep caps on their curls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Very nice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I may actually get this parenting thing
figured out one of these days.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";">Well, that's all I
know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's taken me nearly all day to
get this written.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tomorrow I will spend
a chunk of my day up at City Hall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's
supposed to be rainy and stormy most of the day - even the possibility for
tornadoes, we're being told.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I kind of
like rainy, cold, fall days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Minus the
tornado possibility.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After getting all
this work done on the house I'll be very irritated if it gets blown away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin: 4.5pt 0in 0pt; mso-line-height-alt: 11.6pt;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica";"><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "century gothic";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "century gothic";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "molengo";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><o:p> </o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><o:p> </o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--></i></span><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><o:p> </o:p></i></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-86434889390634887572015-11-01T19:06:00.002-06:002015-11-01T19:06:36.043-06:00Day 884
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Nov. 1, 2015<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Day 884<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Boy, am I grainy
today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We set our clocks back, so you'd
think I would be full of extra energy, but I'm not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I took a nap this afternoon and I slept <i>really</i>
hard and I haven't quite awakened from that yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Well, this week went by
pretty quickly and I think this next week will be even faster.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Halloween is finally
over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel like the celebration got
kind of stretched out this year between The Pumpkin Party at Valley, Night
Eyes, wearing their costumes to school and having the parade on Thursday, and
then trick or treating on Friday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
relieved to be able to finally toss their costumes in the laundry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Arien came over and went
trick or treating with us on Friday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
walked around Swan and I was able to introduce her to everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realized that I know practically everyone
in town, which is probably due in part to being the clerk, but also because I
have lived here for 11 years now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
didn't strike me until that evening, though, what a sense of <i>community</i>
we have here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I don't even like
everyone who lives here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But almost all
of us know each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I told
people that Arien was Will's girlfriend, their eyes lit up and I could tell
they were really happy for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's
kind of a neat thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">We went down to Pville
afterwards to score some more candy and I realized, just in the few houses we
went to, that I'm getting to know quite a few people who live down there,
too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As we were going through the
haunted house, one woman came up to me and told me that her daughter is in
class with Lizzie and "absolutely adores her!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not so sure that's true - at least I've
never heard Lizzie mention her daughter - but it still made me feel included
and part of something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The "haunted
house" I referenced isn't really a haunted house, per se.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The guy who used to have the contract for
Swan's garbage (we switched a number of years ago, though) is really into
decorating his house for the holidays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He has a large, two-story home on one of the main streets in
Pville.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every single holiday he has all
kinds of blow-up decorations and lights displayed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By accident we discovered last year that his
Halloween display goes way beyond decorating<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>his front yard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The house has a
wrap around porch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has so many
Halloween displays that they run all through the porch, through the back yard,
and around the side of the house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
all light up, moan, and spew red water (blood).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My kids are delighted with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
think Sam and Lizzie went through three or four times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two was enough for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">There's a part of me that
loves Halloween.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I've never been
squeamish, so blood and skeletons don't bother me, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as I stood in the front yard waiting for
the kids, by a "graveyard" scene of toppled tombstones and zombies
clawing their way out of the ground, and as a green eyed, electronic ghost
moaned into the wind, and I was then startled when I looked up and saw a
grisly, bigger-than-life-sized zombie ghost strung up on the flag pole, I kind
of wanted to throw up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I kept thinking
of the verse in Deuteronomy 30 that urges God's people to "choose
life."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thought then occurred to
me that all of human life ultimately ends up in death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Generally it's not as grisly as what was
being portrayed in this guy's get-up in his yard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of us die in pretty humane ways and I
assure you, that none of us are trying to crawl out of our graves or haunt
those still living.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that's what
unique about the Gospel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Gospel
offers <i>life</i> to those that will eventually die.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus said in John 10, "I am come that
they might have <i>life..." </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
as I waited for my kids I had to wonder, what must God think of this Halloween
scene we were viewing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None of it had
anything to do with life at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I was bothered as we walked
around by a body bag scene.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course,
there was a bloodied, zombie-like head sticking out of the top of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Three years ago I wouldn't have given it a
second thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I saw Paul's body
removed in a body bag out of an ambulance and loaded into the Medical
Examiner's station wagon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, because of
my personal experience, that particular scene bothered me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Is any of this <i>wrong</i>,
though?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is celebrating Halloween
wrong?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just know it didn't feel right and holy
that night as I stood there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it's
one of those things I will wrestle with every year for the rest of my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">**********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">On a happier note, Lizzie
had her birthday yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love that
girl so much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a good, quiet
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got a number of things done around
the house, including scrubbing down my grody bathtub (yay, me!) and then we had
tacos, per her request and then we did her birthday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realized she did not get one single
toy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At 7, she is already prefers a lot
of older type things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's not that she
never plays with toys - but it isn't real common, actually.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She asked for a "real" eyeliner and
mascara, so I got her those.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also got
her some coveted, sparkly high top tennies she had her eye on, and some roller
skates and a new bike from my parents so I guess those last two things are
kid-like in nature.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>was happy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Lizzie requested a
"graveyard" cake which is something I used to make every few years
around Halloween.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I made one the first
year she was here but haven't had the heart to do it since.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's amazing how experiencing death for real
gives a sour taste to anything pertaining to death. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that was<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>what she wanted and then yesterday, she informed me she wanted to do the
decorating, which was fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She and Sam
did it together and came up with a pretty eerie scene of an "old,
abandoned, graveyard, Mom!" complete with broken popsicle sticks for
"zombie arms."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">A few weeks ago this
"They Say, You Hear" list popped up on my newsfeed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I actually saved it because it's so <i>right.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This one is about grieving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I've heard about every single one of
these in one form or the other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say: </span></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You need to try to move on<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You've been upset for too long<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You will have more kids/another best friends/fall in love
again<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Your loved one is replaceable<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They're in a better place<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They're better off without you<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">How are you doing since, you know?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I'm afraid to say their name because I don't want you to
lose it.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say:</span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I know how you feel<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I assume all grief is the same<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I'll be hugging my loved ones tighter tonight<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I still have my loved ones to hug.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You are never given more than you can handle<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You should have no problem handling this.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They are no longer in pain.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You are being selfish for wishing they were still here.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">God has a plan.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">God did this to you.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Let me know if you need anything.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You are not going to hear from me for awhile.</span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p></o:p></span></i> </div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They wouldn't want you to be sad.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You aren't handling this correctly.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">This is a part of life.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">This isn't a part of my life, but it's a part of your
life, so you have to deal with it.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Stay strong.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Your sadness is a weakness.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">This, too, shall pass.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You have a time limit on grieving for your loved one.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They say: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">At least you had the time you did with your loved one.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You hear: </span></i></b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">You're being ungrateful.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">****************************<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">One day this week Lizzie
said something about seeing a spider.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Since she was sitting on a kitchen stool eating her cereal at the
counter I immediately launched into, "Little Miss Muffet, sat on her
tuffet, eating her curds and whey..."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>From there, an animated discussion arose between Lizzie and Sam.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lizzie acsertained correctly that a
"tuffet" was the item on which Miss Muffet sat, while Sam was
convinced that it was another word for her bottom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">**************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Another night, Lizzie was
complaining about the supper I served.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sam commented to her that when he goes hunting with his new BB gun and
brings home a squirrel, "You're going to have to eat that!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sorry, Kid - I'm pretty sure even <i>I</i>
won't be eating a squirrel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I went through the rest of
Paul's clothes this week, which was harder than I thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We got the quilts a couple of weeks ago, but
they didn't use everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were
still a few shirts and suit coats, along with his robe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will took a few things, but I still had a tub
full of clothes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I bucked up one day
and made myself do it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot of the
dress shirts I ended up throwing away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They were too old, threadbare, and had soiled collars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The stuff that was ok, I put in my goodwill
tub.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stuck his robe in the corner of
the laundry room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not sure yet what
I'm going to do with that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not quite
ready to get rid of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, it was
emotionally draining to do that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
it's done now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">My friend, Tina, teaches in
a Christian school in S. Korea, where she has both MKs and native children in
her classroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One day recently she was
showing them a picture of an early-American schoolroom, complete with wooden
desks and slates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The slates, of course,
are what they used before paper became widely available.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They're about 9" X 7" or so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, her students, in awe, piped up,
"They had ipads then?!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
said she had a hard time convincing them those were <i>not</i> ipads!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought that was pretty funny.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">***********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I am closer to being a
college student again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This week I made
some phone calls and was pretty discouraged by the end of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The schools I contacted did not offer English
degrees in either on-line form or night classes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'd be fine to attend some day classes for
the next couple of years, but I am anticipating being employed during the day
by the fall of 2018.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sure wouldn't
want to get in a position where I couldn't work because I had to finish my
degree during the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then what would
we do for money?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I just do not like
the idea of being an actual, on-campus student.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I could perhaps do that for a class or two, but that would still end up being
a lot of time away from home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't
have enough time now, as it is, to do everything that needs to be done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How on earth would I fit in<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>extra hours for driving to and from school,
going to class, doing homework, <b>and</b> still, single-handedly, running my
household and being a good mom?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thought was really
depressing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I began to think maybe I
would have to choose a different degree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But I couldn't shake the idea that an English degree would be perfect
for me, especially with my writing, which is what I <i>really</i> want to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">And then I got a call back
from Buena Vista University.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think God
sent the perfect rep to respond to my inquiry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She is my age.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ended up explaining
to her my entire situation - widowhood, the kids, how I am just wanting a
Bachelors degree so I can be a sub, which will give me a certain amount of
flexibility with my hours and allow me to still be off when my kids don't have
school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As it turns out, she just got
her sub license last summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So she knew
all about it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And BV offers an English
degree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, they offer it <i>only</i>
on-line!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their headquarters are in
western Iowa (I remember Paul actually checked them out for me in the early 90s
when I was in school and we were trying to figure out how to get married, but
keep me going to school, too) but they have a satellite office in Newton, which
about a half hour from my house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I'm kind of excited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I get started after Christmas, I'd probably
have my degree in about 3 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
would be taking one class every 8 weeks, which is how they offer them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, right now my job is<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to obtain my transcripts and get my FAFSA
filed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">So...the future
beckons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't know what all it would
entail. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, nobody knows
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I'm taking another step
forward.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Twenty one years ago
tonight I was eagerly anticipating the start of a new stage of life, too:
motherhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was past my due date and
anxious to meet this baby boy who took up so much space in my body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was also anxious to get his feet out of my
rib cage, as I recall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Less than twenty
four hours later he would be in my arms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">And now, while still firmly
in the trenches of motherhood, I am looking over the horizon for another future
that awaits.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I don't know that it will
be as thrilling as first-time motherhood was, but I'm <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>still kind of looking forward to it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-48892450629195862162015-10-24T21:42:00.001-05:002015-10-24T21:42:36.563-05:00Day 873
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<strong>October 24, 2015</strong><br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Day 873<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Friday<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I'm tired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has been a week where I have had nearly no
time to even sit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've been constantly
running, running, running.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I haven't
gotten a lot of sleep and this morning I woke up with a migraine (pretty much
gone, now, though).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Next week might be
better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">We've officially started
the "birthday madness" that descends on our house this time of year,
every year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam had his 8th birthday
yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He woke me up one minute
before my alarm was set to go off telling me, "I'm so excited!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I brought cupcakes to his class yesterday,
thinking I'd dash in and out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had
asked his teacher for a good time of day to do this and she told me,
"2:30."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, obedient parent
that I am, I even showed up a few minutes earlier - only to discover the class
was in "Guidance" and would be for another 15 min.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the time we got things wrapped up and back
out to the van, cars were already lined up for the pick-up line that occurs
every afternoon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was stuck - and none
too happy about that!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ugh, ugh, ugh..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But we had a nice
celebration at home - once I got there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Arien came over, even, and we had taco soup, per Sam's request.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a really good night, I thought, if a
noisy one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose that's a given any
time you get all the kids together at once.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">This afternoon I had to
pick up Sam from school for his annual eye appointment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then we went to the pet store and he picked
out his first pet, a hamster.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of his
presents yesterday was a cage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had
me fill out some form while they scooped Sam's choice into a little box.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn't really read it much, but basically I
was promising to provide for the animal and not feed it to a cobra or
something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I overheard Sam say to the
employee that he felt bad for the other hamster left all alone in the cage
now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> The clerk assured him that some other person will adopt the other hamster really soon, too! </span>It's a little boy hamster, about 3
months old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He looks a lot like the one
I had when I was Sam's age.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam named
him "Chocolate Chip."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not
sure why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He hissed at Sam all the way
home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not know hamsters did that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Sam's no dummy, even if his
knowledge of animal reproduction is a bit hazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He commented last night that he thought he should get a girl hamster so
then, "maybe she'll have babies and I'll get <i>more</i> hamsters!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Tuesday night we went to
the annual "pumpkin party" held at Valley Church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was our first year to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have this for three straight nights
every Oct.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first night is always for
special needs families.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because of that
I dragged Ben along, but he tells me he's not going again next year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wonder if that means we'll need to attend
one of the "regular" nights instead?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I hope not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I imagine it would be
even more crowded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were a number
of special needs adults there that night but they were all obviously more
mentally impaired than Ben is because they were having a great time and Ben was
only enduring the waiting and noise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The Littles absolutely
loved the evening, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was SO
much offered - so much that we couldn't do it all, much to the kids'
disappointment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had inflatables,
photo booths, the "real" Elsa and Anna (according to the girls) where
you could take photos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had a
balloon artist, carnival games, science projects, a science show, a caricature
artist, pony rides, face painting, tattoos - and I'm sure more things we never
even saw because we just didn't get there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was all completely free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think
we'll do it again but I may see if I can get someone to go with me next year
because I was exhausted by the evening's end!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The kids had different interests and I couldn't get each of them to the
places they each wanted to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I
should bring two someone else's - one for each little kid!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">A couple of weeks ago our
church had their fall festival.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a
warm day (this has been one of the warmest Octobers I remember) and the kids
were in sandals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ellie had been jumping
on the inflatables and then wanted to go for a pony ride.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told her she needed to put her shoes back
on first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She innocently asked,
"Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So the horses don't poop on
my feet?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah...something like
that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I had another surprise,
anonymous gift from someone in the church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was given to me on a Wednesday night a few weeks ago - a check for a
$100.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very much appreciated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then two days later my van was returned
to me with a new, metal radiator instead of the plastic, factory installed one
that cracked this summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had
previously paid for the new radiator but I wanted to also pay for the
labor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, when I asked my friend what I
could give him he scratched his head and said, "Oh?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe a hundred dollars?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">No coincidences with my
God!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I was thinking about the
hymn, "My Faith has Found a Resting Place," recently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was weird.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I heard it on my mp3 player one day which prompted my thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then later that same day I heard the song
again, this time a different version.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
must really like that song, to have two<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>versions on my device!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, I
was mainly thinking about the title. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"Faith" has become a popular
word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of saying, "I am a
Christian," people will say, "Well, my faith was what really
sustained me," or, "I really needed my friends, my family - and my
faith," and so on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's nothing <i>false</i>
about what they're saying, but it seems less offensive than outright claiming
the name of Christ or even directly referring to God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I'm too sensitive?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's just something I've caught more and more
frequently when listening to others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
of course, a person's faith can be pretty individual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It might be in the Savior of the World,
Jesus,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- or it might be Mohammad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It might be placed in a personal faith in
Christ - or it might be in a deeply rooted religious tradition one is born
into.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's kind of ambiguous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">And then, of course, people
have faith in all kinds of things with no religious connotations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are encouraged to have faith in
themselves, to have faith that things will turn out ok, to have faith in the
legal system and in our political leaders and on and on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But this song - <i>My faith
has found a resting place, not in device nor creed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I trust the ever-loving God, His wounds for
me shall plead...I need no other argument, I need no other plea, it is enough
that Jesus died, and that he died for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wrote that from memory, so
I may not have it exactly right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
anyway, <i>my faith has found a resting place.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's something secure to place its value
upon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's like when dollar bills used
to be backed up by precious metals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Those bills rested in the value of their secure backing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My confidence doesn't need to flit from one
thing to another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's Someone secure
in which I can place it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's settled,
which means my heart can be, as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Anyway, just some thoughts
as I put some more miles on my van one day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I had to take Ben to Iowa
City on Wed. for his dental check-up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
did great - no cavities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We saw a
different dentist this time, for some reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He was not so confident that Ben's wisdom teeth removal is years off
yet, like the one we saw last spring seemed to indicate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not going to worry about it, though.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">While Ben was in there,
another patient came in, a black man with Downs Syndrome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was so friendly and gregarious and had the
room in stitches.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some non-residents had
come in to observe and this man informed one that he was, "too
skinny."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also insisted on
examining the hair of the other one and told him he saw some gray in
there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told everyone that he would be
turning 40 this month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone asked
him, "Oh - when?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He replied,
"In December."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I bet he brings
his mother (she was in the waiting room) a lot of joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have not seen a lot of black people with
Downs Syndrome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe that's just
because there are fewer black people in comparison to whites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The percentages might be the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, I know that more black babies are
aborted than any other race and over all the races, now, 90% of all babies with
Down Syndrome get aborted, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
could there be a genetic component too?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Are white people more likely to produce a baby with Downs?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">When we were at the Pumpkin
party the other night, the girls were telling me, "Oh, there's someone
like Marissa!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marissa is Ben's
friend and teammate who experiences DS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My kids recognize the tell-tale signs now from spending time with
her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All the Littles seem to be
developing real compassion for special needs individuals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam has a boy in his class who has some needs
- I'm not sure what they are, but he has a one-on-one and Sam has mentioned to
me how he tries to sit by and play with this boy for the simple fact that he
recognizes he has needs and he wants to be a friend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Makes me happy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Saturday<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Ellie came home this week
reciting the pledge of allegiance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
does pretty well, even though she says, "...under God, invisible, wif
liberty..."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's cute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They're teaching them at the preschool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that's great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was actually kind of surprised when Sam and
Lizzie began reciting it after school started.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I didn't know if schools even did that anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually, it was kind of funny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lizzie was irritated that I had never taught
her the pledge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't know - in
between teaching math facts, reading, grieving, cooking, and endless
laundry...it just kind of slipped my mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I have no power in part of
my house right now - no tv in the living room, nothing in the main bathroom, no
light in my closet, no hallway light, no tv in my bedroom, and no step
lights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Argh...and Will won't be home
until late tonight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And my only
flashlight is pretty puny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to buy
a big flashlight and then padlock it to my wall so the kids don't steal it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">***********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">A week ago Friday night was
senior recognition night at the football game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Since Ben helps out with the team, he was recognized, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was kind of neat, getting to walk across
the field with him while they read his names, the names of his parents
(including Paul's), his siblings, and his future plans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It made me remember when we did this three
years ago with Will.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">When I was talking with the
coach earlier that week via email he made the comment that Ben is "an
awesome kid who comes from an even better family."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't know why that touched me so
much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe because I don't always feel
like I'm doing a good job with the "family" part.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">***************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">We have the cutest little
chipmunk living somewhere in our yard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
can't remember ever getting to see one so often and so close.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He's always popping up and running around the
yard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None of the kids has been
successful at catching him yet - which is a good thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He probably wouldn't be so cute, captured.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">**********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I went up to DMACC this
week and had an appointment with an academic advisor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was super nice and kept praising me for
taking this "big step" of checking out college.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had this idea that all I would need to do
is take classes for a few years from DMACC and after awhile, I'd have my
degree.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Nothing is ever as easy I
hope it will be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">It turns out that I have
too many credits for DMACC.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess
three years of college will do that to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>DMACC is more of a "starter" school for people that want their
bachelors or a place to get an associates degree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it's not a place to finish a
bachelors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I now have in my
possession an armful of college brochures and I have to find the time to go
through them, sit down with their advisors, and figure out what I'm going to
do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, I'm going to have to pay for
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>DMACC would have been free with all
the financial aid I'd be eligible for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Sigh...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But, there are actually a
few local colleges that specialize in people like me, who have lives but want
to finish up a degree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the guy at
DMACC assured me that they are all regionally accredited, which is important.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Will also suggested I check
out Liberty University.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He reminded me
that a friend of ours just earned her bachelors - completely on-line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She travelled out there this spring for her
graduation and that was her first trip to Virginia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On-line would be really good for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I do have a better idea
now, though, of what I could major in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As I went over some stuff with the advisor it occurred to me that a
generic degree in English might be just the thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm good at it and since it's such a general
area of study, it would translate into more than one line of work
post-graduation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">So I need to get copies of
my transcripts and I need to sit down with these brochures and I need to make
some phone calls and set up appointments.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I need more time in my days.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">This last school year, Ben
is only actually at school two days a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Two of the days he is at COC, working, and another day he works all day
at Hy-Vee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, for the days he's gone,
he has to bring a lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always make
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the other night, he started
making his own lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I said, "Oh,
I can do that for you!" but then I had the second thought of realizing
that lunch making is a skill Ben really needs to master on his own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I left him alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Until I found a pile of
bread on the counter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked him what
the deal was and he replied, "Oh, those all have holes in them!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The kids got their
"Daddy quilts" a week ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
was quite a labor of love from people that don't even know us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My friend and neighbor, Lynne, had taken all
of Paul's clothing that summer he died, promising to get some quilts made up
for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got mine a year later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And now the kids have theirs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They're each a twin sized blanket - lots and
lots of work represented in them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And each
has a verse stitched in the center.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
vauguely remember picking out the verses that first summer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">They're primarily made out
of denim, so they're very heavy quilts, too, which means the kids won't need
quite so many blankets on their bed this winter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">**************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I took the Littles to Night
Eyes at the zoo for the first time tonight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's
an annual Halloween tradition here in Des Moines.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I've just never gone until this
year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think there is a part of me that
is still trying to figure out new traditions for our family by trying different
things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Night Eyes was so-so, in my
opinion, although the kids seemed to enjoy it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was a lot of walking and a lot of standing in lines and a lot of
people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>there really wasn't that much to it, I didn't
think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as darkness fell and the
ropes of Halloween lights lit up and the tree leaves at the zoo rustled, it was
kind of a neat, spooky feeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
occurred to me that something like this would be a fun date.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that made me miss Paul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I would have liked to have
been there tonight with him, <i>sans </i>children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would have been kind of romantic to walk
hand-in-hand in the darkness, finding contentment with eachother and mulling over more dreams
for our future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I miss him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Still.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But not as much as I used
to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I wonder if some of this
longing was actually prompted by memories, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I will never forget Halloween night, 1994.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was a day past my due date with Will and so
that night, Paul and I walked the streets of Council Bluffs, hoping to get my
labor going (it didn't work).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have
such fond memories of that evening, as we dodged excited trick or treaters, our
feet crunching the fallen leaves, holding hands, dreaming about the baby that
would soon make us a family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I think that memory may be
why I love Halloween so<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>much.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">It could be the chocolate,
too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">This year, my kids are
wearing their costumes FOUR times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
wore them Tuesday night to the Great Pumpkin party out at Valley Church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They wore them tonight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They will wear them Thursday to school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently they have something called a
"Halloween Parade" which is stirring up vague recollections of my 2nd
grade year when I attended public school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think we did something like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And then Friday night is trick or treating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least they're getting some mileage out of
them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I know a number of people
who don't celebrate Halloween and that's fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I can definitely see and respect their position on that. There are
aspects of the holiday that make me a little bit spiritually queasy and
sometimes I wonder if I've embraced it a little <i>too</i> much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, just tonight I read an article where
the author talks about a church that sponsored a "Zombie Walk" at
Halloween.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The author then went on to
say that she doesn't believe Halloween is Biblical and neither does her church
- of which she's the pastor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So she got
convicted about Halloween but not the whole women-shouldn't-be-pastors
thing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When the kids came home with notes telling
parents about next Thursday's parade at school and the fact that they are to
wear their costumes I actually wondered - well, what about the kids whose
families don't do Halloween?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But maybe
those families don't believe in public school, either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I had some other things to
write, but I'm going to wrap this up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
am tired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it has taken me two days
to write this much.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Tomorrow my article about
Paul's death comes out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am really
trying to not be prideful, but I'm excited to have others read my words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I imagine some church somewhere where a
hurting widow is sitting, trying to convince herself she's where she needs to
be, but, in reality,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>wishing she was
anywhere but in church that morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
hurts too much, still.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But then, she
picks up this little bulletin insert, mostly in an effort to avoid having to
make eye contact with anyone (because she's so tired of seeing the pity
reflected in others' eyes), reads my story, and feels comforted and encouraged
in her widowhood walk from someone a little bit farther down the path.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">That's what I really hope
happens.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-14568219910310037532015-10-09T09:33:00.000-05:002015-10-09T09:33:05.234-05:00Day 858
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Oct. 9, 2015<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Day 858<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">This is the only day this
week I don't have to rush off first thing in the morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm enjoying it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, to make things sweeter, I don't have to
cook supper tonight, either!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's Single
Parent Provision night so when the kids get home from school we'll head to W.
Des Moines, I'll drop them off, and then the night is mine...three and a half
hours of having to talk to nobody at all!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Actually, that came up this
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My pastor's wife asked if I'd
consider joining the ladies' Bible study starting in a couple weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said she thought it would, specifically,
be good for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked her why and she
said, "It will give you a chance to talk to people."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hmmm....I'm sure my kids would say I talk
entirely too much already.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I always
beat myself up after spending time with friends because I think back over the
night and am convinced that I monopolized the conversation - which I assume
comes from the fact I have no other adults here at home with which to
converse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I'm not so sure I really
ought to be talking to other people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But, I'm going to do the Bible study anyway and while I'm there I might
let a thought or two escape.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's on
Biblical womanhood, co-authored by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've always liked her stuff and there might
be something thing for me to learn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I don't know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel kind of <i>restless</i> right now and
have for some time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't know if I'm
being called towards something or if it's just all part of figuring my new
identity as a widowed, single woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
addition to that, I am only<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>now
realizing how much of my identity was tied up with homeschooling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now that I've let most of that go, I'm kind
of at loose ends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who am I when I'm not
in charge of my kids' education and having them at my feet all day?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So maybe this Bible study might help.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Tuesday I am taking a
strengths assessment test up at DMACC and meeting with a career counselor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's still lots of conflict tied up with
this whole thing, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't <i>want</i>
to go back to college.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't <i>want</i>
to have get a job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I want is to
still be Paul's wife and to still be homeschooling all my kids, knowing that he
is there to financially and emotionally take care of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sigh...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But, neither do I want to
eat up my retirement money or live out my life in poverty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think the only solution to that is marry
rich or get a job.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I told the person who
answered the phone at DMACC that I already know my strengths and weaknesses
(English and criticizing others' lack of it: GOOD, Math: BAD) but she said they
want to see something on paper.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">And on that subject (of
criticizing others)...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Just a few minutes ago on
Facebook a friend made the comment that she needs to find some, "inter
peace."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ugh...I so badly wanted to
say, "Perhaps you might find it in the pages of an English manual?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But then, we probably wouldn't be friends
anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">What really upset me this
week and I honestly mean that word: <i>upset</i> happened in
Pleasantville.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've been puzzling over
this ever since, wondering, basically, what's wrong with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Taped to the door of Ellie's preschool one
morning was a flyer from the local library advertising an upcoming Halloween
event.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Later that same day, I saw the
same flyer at the bank and I'm sure it's all over<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>town.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The paper read, "Come to the Library on Saturday, Oct. 24, for some
not to scary fun!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Not to scary...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">It is <i>very</i> scary!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then a day later one of Ellie's preschool
teachers took a picture of the flier and posted it to the preschool Facebook
group and my first thought was, "Oh, she's going to point out the
grammatical error here to the rest of us educated parents."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">No, she didn't.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I was so upset after seeing
this flier the other day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>Enraged</i>
is probably too strong of a word, but I was hot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My first impulse was to tear down the steps
of the preschool and demand to know why Ellie's teachers would hang such a
travesty of the English language on their door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And then I was very, very tempted to swing by the library and point out
this grievous error.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I didn't.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thankfully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I reminded myself that relationships are more important than good
grammar (by a small margin, anyway).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
really, what I would I essentially be saying?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I would be pointing out to them how dumb they are and how smart and
superior I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But I have puzzled ever
since as to why something like this elicits such a strong emotional reaction within
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As important as something like this
is, it's not the most important thing in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have no problems making dumb math or
driving mistakes that would probably disgust anyone with the slightest
scientific brain - and it doesn't bother me a bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So it's not like I demand preciseness in
every area of my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Maybe I just like to
criticize other people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">**********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The other day Ellie came
home from preschool and told me, "We learned a new verse today!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was puzzling because it's not a
religious-based preschool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She then
intoned in a measured,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Iittle kid,
I'm-reciting-my-memory-verse monotone, "You should not throw sand at
people."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ha, ha, ha!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">She and David were playing
the "gotcha" game this week where David pretended to rip her nose
off her face and said, clenching his fist, "I got your nose!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ellie then leaned forward towards his shirt,
pretended to grab something off the front, clenched her fist, and exclaimed,
"I got your nipple!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Yeah, I kind of doubt David
will want to play that anymore with her!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">***********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Some of my neighbors had an
auction last Saturday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have this
"business" where they buy up stuff at rock bottom prices and then
they store it in this steel building that sits right across the alley from
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, I can look out my window
right now and see the building.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So they
dragged everything out last week, hired a food truck and an auctioneer and a
ton of people descended on our corner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In fact, they had electrical cords strung to my house, and the money
tent set up on my front lawn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess
those were my contributions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, and
they borrowed my trailer, too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I wasn't interested in
buying anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've spent the last two
years divesting myself of a lot of junk and I sure don't want any more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the kids were dying to go over there so I
told them I'd take them after lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
did and I got into conversation with a couple of neighbors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One was telling me how she had lost her
mother as a young girl (she's buried not too far from Paul - she got hit by a
drunk driver in the '80s) so she said she really feels for my kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was relating some of her experiences with
that and asked me if I ever sense, "Paul's presence."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The question kind of opened up a neat door of
opportunity for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shared with her
that I had an extremely vivid dream when Paul had been gone about 5 months (I
wrote about it here) that I look back on and am convinced was no regular dream.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I truly believe that it was a "message"
from the Lord, designed to both inform and comfort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I've never had<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>one like that since nor do I expect one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I made it clear to her,
though, that this dream was from God, not Paul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was able to share with her the comfort of the Holy Spirit that I've
experienced.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But no - I've never caught
a whiff of Paul's scent or heard his footsteps or felt his hand on my
shoulder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He's gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not ever going to experience those things
here on earth again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">So - I don't know how much
she understood, if anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She may
have just been standing there nodding politely, inwardly disappointed that I didn't
have any awesome stories to share of his ghostly presence. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I have been a little more
emotional lately and I'm not sure why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I'm not hormonal and there are no significant dates approaching.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did hit month 28 this week and I've never
cared for the number, "28," but<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I doubt that had anything to do with it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I did some grocery shopping
and Walmarting a week ago and I could tell all day that I was more on edge,
emotionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it wasn't until I hit Carlisle on the way
home - 10 minutes from my house - that I started to cry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm wiping my face and thinking,
"Really?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn't have done this
when I was in Des Moines and had a good half hour or more?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But I made sure I was fine by the time I got home and saw the kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">And then yesterday I was
kind of weepy too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I don't know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it will always be like this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I may eventually have everything figured out,
future-wise, and may end up in a pretty good spot down the road.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I might even be happily remarried.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I have a funny feeling that I'll still
occasionally experience these "cloudbursts" from time to time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think once a heart has been so riven,
there's going to be occasional cracks and overflow of emotion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">And I also think that might
be ok.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--></span></i></span><i><span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-13914299670047007922015-10-05T21:21:00.002-05:002015-10-05T21:27:34.532-05:00Imperfect MomI was asked to put a blurb up on my blog about this post I wrote for the Imperfect Moms Confessional over at the Busy Being Blessed website. I did not know what I was going to write about until I sat down to do it - about four days before my deadline. I'm not known for getting work done too far in advance! I ended up writing about Ben because...well, I'll just copy what I put on Facebook. Here it is:<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #274e13;"><em><strong><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline !important; float: none; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/15.45px helvetica, arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">I'm up today for the first time at the Busy Being Blessed website. When I was presented with the opportunity to write for their "Imperfect Mom" series, I was immediately attracted because I have always felt that my greatest areas of incompetency are revealed in motherhood. I am not a natural at parenting and even after being gifted with six, am not quite convinced I have it right yet. I ended up writing about Ben because, with it being his senior year, I'm naturally a lit</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/15.45px helvetica, arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">tle more blubbery about him right now. But more than that, God has used this child to teach me so much about Himself and what it means to love without reservation or expectation. For a long time I petulantly felt like I had been given a "broken" gift when he was born. It took a long time for me to figure out that I was actually the one who was broken. Here's some short thoughts about that:</span></strong></em></span><a href="http://www.busybeingblessed.net/when-god-messed-with-my-plans-sarah-heywood-imc/" target="_blank">When God Messed Up my Plans</a><br />
<br />
So, anyway - here's the article I wrote. I don't think it's my greatest piece of writing and I've already found several things I wished I written better or added. However, it seems to be getting a really good response despite that. I think the one that touched me the most was a friend who said that it had been a really tough day with her 10 year old who has autism. She said my article helped her get through it.<br />
<br />
Maybe that's why I'm supposed to keep writing.<br />
<br />
In February I'm going to write for them again, this time in an "Imperfect Wives" series. I think I was more of one of those than I am an imperfect mom so it ought to be a piece of cake!Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-84717072904710530162015-09-30T21:42:00.001-05:002015-09-30T21:42:07.531-05:00Day 848
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> September 30, 2015</o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Day 848<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">This morning someone asked
me if my boys are "yours or are they adopted, too?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn't believe the indignation that
swelled up in me as I replied, "Well, they're my biological
children..."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had never
experienced that before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was just the
idea that the girls are "less real" than children I gave birth to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I wasn't mad - just
surprised at the feeling that brought up inside me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thing is that unless you have adopted or
are adopted, it's not going to occur to you how offensive that kind of question
is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it's not even that the question
itself is inappropriate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's just the
wording.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Anyway, that was kind of
interesting to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps, after three
years, the girls have finally worked their way fully into my heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">**************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The last day of
September...my favorite month starts tomorrow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And we've finally got the cool weather to go with it, which is
nice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's sunny out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">And I'm feeling better on
the inside about the whole school thing...<i>finally</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Man, that was tough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just today, I had a nice email from Sam's
teacher in which she commented that Sam is opening up more in class and
developing friendships with some of the boys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I had noticed that he seemed to be talking about certain boys more
often. In fact, he was just telling me yesterday that he has found a couple of
Christian boys in his class and at recess they like to get together and talk
about God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am impressed, although not
surprised.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam is a pretty serious
little kid. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also earned some good
behavior reward which meant he got to choose a treat and he chose to eat lunch
in his classroom with a friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have
noticed that he seems to particularly relish telling me about the
"bad" kids in class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That
would be his personality at play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just
this morning he was telling me about this one boy that I actually feel kind of
sorry for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suspect he probably isn't a
bad kid, necessarily, just one lacking a lot of self-control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam told me this boy cries when he gets
"marks" in the classroom, which makes me feel so bad for this little
boy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can imagine him trying to hard to
be good but because of all his extra energy he just can't quite make it
happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, maybe he's a devil child,
destined for prison someday - I don't know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Anyway, Sam commented that this little guy argues all the time with the
teacher and, "You just can't argue with grown ups - he should know
better!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">What really helped me feel
better about the kids' schooling was the report I got last week on Lizzie's
reading assessments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She didn't do so
well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her scores are better than Sam's
and he's getting the help he needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
I was shocked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She seemed to latch onto
reading so easily and needed very little instruction from me - unlike Sam.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lizzie's teacher explained to me that Lizzie
does not know her short letter sounds and has no clue how to sound out
words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How is that possible?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I taught her phonics!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, what it is is that she's a good
memorizer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">She's going to get the extra
help she needs, so I'm not worried about that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But this was a real eye opener to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How did I miss the fact that Lizzie wasn't really learning how to read? That answer is pretty simple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
missed it because I have been stretched so thin the last few years and my
attention has been bobbing all over the place as I attempted to put out fires.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I have felt like an
absolute failure for putting the kids in school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have beat myself up thinking that a <i>good</i>
mother would never expose her children to the worthless, ungodly public school
system - particularly when I <i>could</i> still homeschool these few years
until I go back to work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But I couldn't.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wasn't doing a good job because of all the
other demands on me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I didn't even
realize that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seeing the neat
handwriting my kids are suddenly coming up with on their papers and getting
these nice emails from their teachers makes me think that maybe public school
isn't as worthless as we homeschoolers would like to think it is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I'm not sure yet how it's going
for Lizzie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't think her adjustment
as been as quick as Sam's.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She made a
comment last week that indicated to me she is completely stressed out at
school, mostly because she's afraid of getting "marks."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's the disciplinary system at school - kind
of worthless, as far as I can see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
lose recesses if they get too many and if they get 4 in a single day they send
home a note to the parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She hasn't
received a single one but being embarrassed is at the top of her
things-that-keep-me-awake-at-night list.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She has often commented that it is embarrassing to get in trouble by
anyone other than your mom (lucky me).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
explained to her that I would only ever be upset if she got marks for being
repeatedly naughty, but I'm not going to freak out if she gets one from time to
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The last thing I want is for her
to develop an ulcer over this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">She says she enjoys lunch
and recess and says people are nice to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But she doesn't talk about any specific girlfriends yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, neither does she doesn't whine about
going to school, either. I put her to bed by 8 and she's asleep within minutes,
which is not normal for her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know
she's tired every night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I just don't
know what to think about it all in relation to her<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Hopefully, time will take care a lot of her anxiety and ease my
concerns, too. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Oh, and speaking of
Lizzie's class...I ran across a class list her teacher provided at the
beginning of the year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's always
interesting to me to see what parents name their kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think in recent blogs I've been mentioning
some of the names of Ellie's classmates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I noticed that Lizzie has a "Drayden" in her class, which is a
new one for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But there's also an,
"Earl"!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sure hope he was
named after someone and not saddled with that just for kicks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Ellie has a new friend at
school and this whole situation is interesting to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last week I picked her up and I noticed that
there was a new little girl and that she is bi-racial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other than Ellie, the entire class is made up
of white children - not unusual for Pleasantville.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This little girl's skin is actually pretty
light, although it has some duskiness to it, thanks to her father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She also has the thick,kinky hair and broad
nose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, that first day, Ellie ran up
to me and exclaimed, "Mom, Mom!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That little girl has skin the same color as me!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I was just astounded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At four years of age, how did she even
realize this?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's not like this little
girl (named, "Miracle" of all things!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>is dark like Ellie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it weren't for the hair and nose, I think
she could easily be mistaken for being white.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But Ellie knew.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few minutes
later, this older lady came up to me and asked if I was Ellie's mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>told me she is caring for her great-granddaughter and she said that when
she brought Miracle to class that morning, her great-granddaughter singled
Ellie out and made a beeline for her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The grandma's assumption was that her great-granddaughter had recognized
like skin, as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both the grandma and
I are white and we were both flabbergasted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Since then, the girls are
inseparable at preschool and every day, the grandma and I chat for a little
bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The whole thing is just making it
ever apparent to me that I need to be praying for some black influence in the
girls' lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't understand why
they need it, but they do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I want
is for skin color to not matter and for the girls to be happy to be surrounded
by all the white people who love them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But for some reason, it is not enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I see the way Lizzie pores over pictures of black models in the
magazines I get and how they both beg to watch tv shows that feature black
actors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I watch the way their eyes
follow black people when we're out and about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I'm just going to make this
a matter of prayer and ask God to bring some good, godly black people into
their lives, esp. as they get older.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For
whatever reason, it is important to both of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My fear is that if I do not find some for
them, someday they may find their birth family and the black community as a
whole very inviting because they are unfamiliar with it and because they
finally find a place where they don't stick out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Oh, and speaking of black
people...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">David, Ellie, and I went to
see the movie, "War Room," on Monday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He paid for my ticket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
going to wait for it to come out on dvd, but he was very anxious to see it
now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, we've seen all the other
Sherwood films in the theater and he didn't want to break that tradition.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Oh, my goodness...this is a
must see movie, like all their rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
main characters are all black, although that has nothing to do with the story
line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a wonderful movie about the
power and necessity of prayer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact,
I came away from the movie with my mind whirling over practical ways I can make
my own prayer life more organized and productive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I absolutely loved it and like the rest of
their movies, cried throughout most of it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For several weeks this movie was number one at the box office - not that
you heard that reported in the media, though.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The other day Will's alarm
on his phone was going off in his bedroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He was ignoring it so we kept hearing this vibrating, <em>buzz, buzz</em> down in
the kitchen (there is a vent between the kitchen ceiling and his bedroom floor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At first I wasn't sure what it was, and Ellie
exclaimed, "Maybe it's an explode thing!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think she meant, "bomb."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">**************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Oh, and I was complaining
about Thred Up in my last post.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a
post script.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After threatening to never
shop with them again and leaving a somewhat menacing (for me) message on their
voice mail I finally got an email from them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They told me to keep the shoes - not that they will do me any good since
they're the wrong size - and they'll not only refund my money but are giving me
a 20% discount the next time I shop with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, I may give them one more chance - just to take advantage of the
discount, if nothing else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">My allergies have finally
lifted, praise the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A couple of
weeks ago David and I were watching a 48 hours interview with the prison worker
that helped those two convicted murderers escape out east this past
spring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>David is an allergy suffererer,
too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, this prison worker, who is now
a prisoner for her role in the escape, was sitting in her stripes, telling her
story to Matt Lauer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was emotional
and had a tissue in her lap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At one
point she lifted it to dab her eyes and David and I both looked at eachother in
horror.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This thing looked like it was
still half bark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prison issue tissues
are not Puffs!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yet, another reason
to avoid jail at<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>all costs!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">***************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Last week, the bus driver
arrived with the kids and normally he drops them off in the middle of the
street and then an arm extends to keep cars from running them over while they
cross to our house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But this day, he
pulled right into my alley and after my kids got out, he followed, which he
never does, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>shooed them off and said,
"I need to talk to your mom."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think what it was was that he was worried I
was going to get all hyper-sensitive after an a incident that occurred and
report the bus to the school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I guess what happened was
that Lizzie was turned around in her seat facing the back, with her knees drawn
up - not real safe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that kid can't
sit still for anything, so I'm not surprised.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The bus driver was trying to get her attention to get her to turn around
and she didn't hear him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, this
teenager in the back yells, "Hey, Black Girl - turn around!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, Ben's head whipped up at that and I
guess<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>he was about to tear into this kid
but the bus driver intervened and diffused the entire situation and he told me
he told that kid to not refer to Lizzie that way ever again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I didn't hear anything that
really alarmed me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, I don't want
people going around referring to my girls by their skin color, but it doesn't
sound like it was meant to be derogatory, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I talked to Lizzie about it later and she
didn't seem offended.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought it was
kind of sweet that Ben wanted to defend his sister, actually.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">People are just so easily
offended these days and a lot of times looking for a reason to complain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suspect that was the driver's concern.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually, what I was more concerned about while
he stood talking to me is that a little girl still on the bus crawled into the
driver's seat and was moving the wheels back and forth!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not the safest thing!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not convinced this driver is the most
capable at what he does, although he's a very kind man.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">When we didn't have a porch
on the house, we couldn't use the front door and Ben had to go out the back
door, around the house, and down the alley to meet the bus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We would send him out early enough to be
there by the time the bus arrived.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well,
this same driver was so concerned that one day he called me and said to not
send Ben out in the cold until I saw the bus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He didn't want Ben standing in the cold waiting for him!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also came to Paul's visitation and gave us
money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He just a nice, elderly guy - who
probably should retire.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">***************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I bought a car for David
last Friday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've spent close to a year
fretting about the need for this and I finally just <b>did it</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It helped that I'm going to have to give up
my van for a couple of days to have the radiator replaced soon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I kind of got forced into the purchase.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started looking at Craig's List<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>last week and then Will did the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had some time Friday after class so<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>he called on a listing on Thurs. night, we
met up with the owner at a Perkins in Urbandale the next morning, and bought
her car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't know what I would have
done without Will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We got there and Will
said, "Good - it's a woman!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>First, he was coaching me to "let me do all the talking!" and
then he changed that to, "Well, if you could let it drop that you're a
widow with 6<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kids, that might be
good...and maybe if you mentioned that two are adopted and one is handicapped,
that'd be even better!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By that
point I was looking at him wondering just who this person I gave birth to is...<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it must have worked because he declared
the car (a '98 Taurus) a good buy and wrangled the owner down a few hundred
dollars from the asking price.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems
like a good little car, even if it's older than what I wanted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It doesn't need any work at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Considering that David will probably wrap
around a telephone pole at some point (I hope not) I think it's a good
buy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">David has taken complete
ownership of it, even though I paid for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He's lined the back window with his Hawkeye and Cowboys gear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We went and got the plates for it today and
he insisted on paying for those.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
didn't argue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He says he's going to pay
me back for the car, but I don't really see a need for that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is just as much for me as it is for
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I needed a back-up vehicle and it
will be nice once he has his license to send him off to retrieve siblings or
pick up a can of soup at the store.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">So that's something I don't
have to worry over anymore!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I can
direct my worrying to David's driving...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Sam and I have this silly
game where when I tuck him in at night I say, "Goodnight, my little
_________" and fill it in with the name of some animal or insect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last night I called him a
"platypus."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a vague
idea of what those are, but wasn't sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For all I knew, it might be an extinct dinosaur, actually.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam immediately sat up in bed and corrected
me, "It's platy<i>pus</i>, Mom - not platy--poos."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From there he launched into a four minute
lecture on the eating, mating, and play habits of said platypus, rounding out
with a minute or two devoted to the preferred habitat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is one very odd child I'm raising.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None of his brothers were ever into animals
the way he is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe he'll be a zoologist
someday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or have lots of pets.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">**********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I finally got to see Ben in
action the other night at the football game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Will ended up spending the game in the pressbox with one of the coaches,
going over the game plays, so David stayed on the sidelines with Ben, sending
him after the tee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>David has such a
self-conscious element to his personality and he was relating to me later how
horrible he felt when he accidentally sent Ben in at the wrong time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn't notice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said he apologized profusely to Ben for
embarrassing him like that and Ben just patted him on the shoulder and said,
"It's ok - we all make mistakes."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>David couldn't get over that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">About midway through the
game, after Ben trotted out and retrieved the tee, the announcer announced,
"And on the field we have Ben Heywood!" and the entire stands erupted
into cheers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ben turned and faced us,
smiled, and gave us a double thumbs up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was cute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He's quite the kid.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">There's one more home game
that Ben will get to participate in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So
far, the Trojans are undefeated, so there's a very good chance they will make
it to the playoffs at the Unidome in November.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I doubt<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ben would be involved
with that, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will's pretty excited
for the team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish they had played
that well when he was on the team!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I read a blog piece by a
remarried widow the other day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her point
was all about remarriage and how she is finding that suddenly people don't want
to hear what she has to say about widowhood anymore because they don't feel she
is one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She pointed out<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that she will <i>always</i> be her first
husband's widow, just as she is now her second husband's wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One doesn't cancel out the other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I found it
interesting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In applying it to my own
life, that means I'm a widow forever - at least, I will always be Paul's widow
- even if I have seven more husbands ( I hope I don't have seven more
husbands).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This widowhood thing is <i>permanent</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's not something I necessarily get to shed
when I say, "I do" to another man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It's part of who I am now for the rest of my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Sort of related: I am
definitely concluding that now is not the time to be looking for another
man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I think through the logistics
of blending a household and all that would entail - I just cannot do that to my
kids right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their lives have been
completely upended several times over the past few years and we need some time
of quiet and stability before I go rocking the boat again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">That thought kind of
depresses me because it would be nice to think I could meet someone and then I
wouldn't be lonely anymore and the kids would have a dad and I wouldn't have to
fret over money or houses or autos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'd
have someone to take care of me once again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But it's not like I'm talking about another decade or more, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I might be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who is going to want a used up middle aged
lady with six children?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Round and round
my thoughts go when it comes to this subject...Paul could have saved me a lot
of trouble if he could have just managed to stay alive, that's for sure...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Over the past few months I
have been thinking more about<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>my
marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's amazing the clarity you
have when you are no longer in the thick of a situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am seeing things I never saw when Paul was
alive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think emotions get tangled up
in the logic and I know in my case I just so much wanted him to see things my
way that it was hard to accept there might actually be other ways of viewing
the same thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway - what's that
they say?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hindsight is
twenty-twenty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I'll write more on
this when my thoughts are more clearly sorted out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a good marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I could have been a better wife.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">And it's that kind of
clarity that makes me think well, if I do get the chance to do this again, I'm
going to be so much better at it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">We'll see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Right now, though, it's still a time to rest
and to figure out who we are as family without Paul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's a time to regroup, refocus, and still,
as needed, mourn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">It's time for the second
half of my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">*******************************</span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">An Ellie funny with which to end: Here's the deal. There's no way I can remarry until she's grown. This girl is going to take so much watching and so much of my energy that I dare not have anyone else in my life that needs attention. If I look away from her even for a second I'm going to regret it.</span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span> </div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">We were at church tonight, waiting for the kids to come in. I teach Patch Club and they spend the first half hour learning their music and working on the upcoming church skit. Then, they divide up into their class rooms and my friend, Wilma, and I, work with the younger ones. So, Ellie was coloring on the chalkboard while we waited. She drew something and asked me to look. I said, "Oh, that's a nice heart!" She replied, </span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">"It's not a heart." </span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span> </div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">"It's a butt."</span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span> </div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">"Mom's butt."</span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span> </div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="background: white; direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-55855225515252069762015-09-20T17:28:00.000-05:002015-09-20T17:30:36.193-05:00Day 838<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">September 20, 2015<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Day 838<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">It's beautiful out today - cool and sunny and my
allergies aren't bothering me a bit!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I really don't have a lot to report this week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I did get both my articles written last week, which is a
relief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm still hanging onto my RBP
article.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't like it as well as I
like the one that's coming out next month on Paul's death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a word limit and so I felt like I had
to just skim over things I would really<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>like to have gotten more in depth on. It's choppier than I prefer, too.
I'm hanging onto it right now because am waiting to hear back from my
editor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to ask her just how firm
the word limit is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Writer's Guide
says one thing and the contract I signed said another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I hear back from her I'll send it to
some friends for editing before I submit it for good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I have to make a bunch of phone calls tomorrow. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">* To Thred Up...an online consignment store.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm thinking I will probably never order from
them again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last Spring I ordered a
white cardigan for Lizzie<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and they sent
a gray one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I kept<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Two weeks ago I ordered some size 10 loafers for Ellie and they sent me
size 7s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have left a message and I
have emailed twice and nobody will get back to me - very poor customer service.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*The Des Moines Register - who failed to deliver my
Sunday paper today<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">* The Marion County News - a small announcement in this
week's paper mentioned that the paper is shutting down Sept. 30.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since I just paid for a year's subscription
in May I expect them to give me a pro-rated refund.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But they're not answering their phone either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Sigh...I really do not have time for any of this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Two little girls in Ellie's preschool class have the
names, "Tatum" and "Beckett."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've heard of "Tatum" before but
it's still kind of unusual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've never
heard of "Beckett" for a little girl, though.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I think parents are getting nuttier with names.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now they're ignoring phonetic rules.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A friend of mine has a new great-nephew named,
"Drace," but pronounced, "Drake."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another friend teaches preschool and told me
she has a little boy named, "Cien."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She was at a loss of how to pronounce it until she was informed it
sounds like, "Ke-on."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why are
parents so awful to their kids like this?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Preschool is going great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Ellie is completely confident.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
walk her in, she hangs up her coat and bag, takes her folder out of the bag,
and doesn't even turn around - just gives me a backwards wave and says calmly,
"Bye, Mom."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I guess I'm not needed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The other two are<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>still adjusting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think Lizzie
is doing fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She's starting to mention
the names of other little girls more which I hope means she is developing some
friendships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm still having a lot of
behavior issues with her at home but I'm hoping they're just
sleep-related.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I moved her bedtime up to
8 every night and it does seem to be helping.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Sam has become very concerned about his reading.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's difficult for him to do a lot of his
work because he doesn't have a real firm grasp on reading yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I emailed his teacher about this and it
sounds like they are on top of it, thankfully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They just did some assessments this week and she told me that the kids
are supposed to be able to read 59 words a minute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam could do 15.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But she reminded me that Sam has not had the
same type of reading instruction as most of the kids have since
kindergarten.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So there's bound to be
some catch-up time involved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, they
are putting him in a smaller reading group (4 kids) and then he'll be working
one-on-one with a reading instructor every day as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On top of that, his teacher is going to send
home a list of sight words for us to work on (she said 100, which concerns me -
do they not do phonics?).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said she
could tell he's had "heavy phonics instruction" because of how he
tries to sound out words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">We never did get through the last half of Sam's first
grade reading material so I asked his teacher if it would be helpful to work on
that here at home and she thought it would so now I am trying to squeeze that
in every night, too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The poor kid had quite the injury week at school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He got hit in the nose with a basketball
during P.E. which skinned it up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And of
course, he can't leave scabs alone so it's been bleeding off and on since and
he has to wear a band-aid over it, which looks real classy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Then, he repeatedly rubbed his back on a section of his
desk chair and came home one day with blood marks all over shirt from where he
had rubbed his back raw.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">And then Friday he mangled his finger in his locker
latch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But despite all that, I really do think he's having fun
at school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It sounds like the boys all
play together at recess well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He's been
bringing his football and tee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought
it was cute that he told me some of the boys wear "shirts with squares on
them," jeans, and cowboy boots and he wanted to go for that look,
too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We actually have a pair of boots
someone gave us (that I threw in the toybox for dress up - my boys have always
dressed more athletically than cowboy-like) and Sam dug those out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has several short-sleeved plaid church
shirts so he picked one and a pair of jeans and Friday he sure felt good about
his outfit!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, he's told me he
wants to dress this way for birthday pictures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I will have to find him some plaid flannel shirts for fall and winter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">My van needs a new radiator.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've had a slow leak for a few weeks now and
I took out Friday to a guy at our church's house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He's told me repeatedly he wants to help me
keep my vehicles going, so I'm going to believe him!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He thinks I'll be ok for a few more weeks as
long as I keep a close eye on my coolant levels, which I've been doing since we
first noticed the leak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This will give
him time to get a couple of other vehicle repair jobs wrapped up and since
he'll need my van for a couple of days I need to get serious about looking for
and buying a second vehicle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told him
I intend to pay him for his time, as well as the parts, since this will be a
time-intensive job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn't argue with
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">***************************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The other night I actually got my act together and we ate
supper as a family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a hard time
with that esp. when Will isn't home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Family meals around the table have been a lot harder to manage since Paul's
death because I just feel especially aware of who is missing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When Will isn't home, it's even harder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, it's always easier to serve up supper
from the stove!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I have to remind
myself that someday, in the not-too-distant future, all the big boys will be
gone and it will be just the Littles and me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I need to get used to a fluctuating table. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Speaking of that, every Sunday afternoon, Arien comes
home with us and we eat lunch together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am <i>loving</i> these times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We do eat together then and it's loud and boisterous (too loud,
actually) and giggly and - I really like it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I find myself even more anxious for the future when I'll have more
family members - married-ins and grandchildren.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Back when I used to envision the family I always wanted to have, it was
times like these that I imagined - lots of food, lots of family, lots of noise,
and lots of love around the table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of
course, Paul was always part of the picture, but I guess we don't plan for
tragedy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Anyway, the other night I got dinner to the table after
the kids set it and to my surprise David had set the red plate at my
place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't think we've done the red
plate since before Paul died and about I cried as a result.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many, many years ago Paul's mom bought all
the girls in the family this red plate from the Hallmark store that says,
"You are Special Today."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
guess the idea is to pull it out for birthdays and other special
occasions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, every so often I'd
start bringing supper to the table and I'd find that Paul had randomly picked
someone to have the red plate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then,
before we'd pray, everyone would have to say something they appreciated about
the person who had the red plate and then his meal prayer would specifically
mention that person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We used it for
birthdays, too, but it was always more special on the ordinary days it showed
up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">So there was the red plate again, after more than 2 years
in its box.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sat down and David
instructed his siblings, "Now, you all have to say something you like
about Mom!" and it was <i>nice</i> to hear the praise coming the lips of
my<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kids!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I think that plate is going to make more of an appearance
from now on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are still a family, even
without Paul.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">When I was at the Ladies' Retreat last weekend I walked
into the chapel that first night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ladies
were starting to make their way to the seats and a couple of men were up on
stage setting the mood with a guitar and keyboard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked at the men and my stomach
lurched.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I immediately ran to the
bathroom where my heart pounded for a minute or two.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">It couldn't be...it wasn't...but, I wished it was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The keyboardist was a middle aged white man with a close
cropped beard and no hair on the top and very little on the sides.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was about 6 foot, not quite 200
pounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had on a navy polo shirt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">In other words, he looked a lot like Paul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For several years, the Lozier uniform was a
navy polo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I was fine -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>no
tears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I made it to my seat, after
hyperventilating (not<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>really) in the
bathroom for a minute or two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I watched this
guy and the more I did the more differences I found between him and Paul and I
was not uncomfortable at all with him up there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was just that initial, momentary look that took my breath away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't know if that has ever happened
before.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I was shaken, but I was ok.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I will continue to be ok.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">.</span></i><i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #222222;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #222222;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: #222222;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: #222222;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: #222222;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><span style="font-family: Century;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></i>Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-81779581930293807052015-09-14T15:38:00.000-05:002015-09-14T15:39:35.785-05:00Day 832<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;"><o:p><b> </b><u>Sunday night</u></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: left;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span></i><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 14pt;">Well, I see by my Facebook feed that I missed
Grandparents' Day once again.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 14pt;">I can
never seem to remember that holiday.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 14pt;">
</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 14pt;">Maybe because it wasn't one I grew up with.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 14pt;">I'm not sure when the card makers decided
that was an actual day.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 14pt;">Sorry, Mom and
Dad!</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 14pt;">You really are appreciated and
quite important to my crew - even if you didn't get a card that says so!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Tomorrow marks the two week point of the school
year. They asked parents to not drop
into the classrooms until after that point.
I don't really have any plans to do that, anyway. It will also be the first late start
Monday. The school district is still
trying to figure out what they want to do.
Since Ben started school 5 years ago, they've had early outs, no school
at all on Mondays during the winter months, and now they're trying two hour
late starts on Mondays. Wonder what it
will be next year? But at least I won't
have to get up quite so early tomorrow.
Neither will the kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">We are all struggling with fatigue, I believe. I know I am.
Mine is further compounded by the fact that it's allergy season and in
order to function at all I have to take sleep-inducing allergy drugs pretty
much around the clock. <b>Don't</b> tell
me about the wonders of Zyrtec. I can
only take that in the beginning of the hayfever season. The further we get into it, the less
effective it becomes. And while it is
marketed as "non-drowsy," it is not.
I know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">I've just been so weary, though, and I think it's
probably deeper than having to get up early and rush the kids to a 7 am bus
pick-up. It's emotional.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">I'm still struggling with the whole not-homeschooling
thing. People have been very encouraging
to me about this and I am appreciative of that.
But, I feel like a failure. I
feel like I should be able to continue to do what I've done for so long. I know the kids are not getting as good of an
education and I know they are being exposed to things that are wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">I want to do it all!
I want the kids to have the best of me and to turn out wonderfully and
to never encounter bullies or classroom boredom or all kind of other
stuff. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">But I can't. It
just isn't in me anymore.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span>
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">The kids are so tired.
I am seeing behaviors in Lizzie I haven't had to deal with for quite
awhile. I'm still playing around with
their bedtimes. But I hate having to put
them to bed so early at night because they are gone for 9 hours a day. That's 9 hours I don't get to influence their
little lives. And then if they go to bed by 8 so they can get the sleep they
need, that gives me exactly 4 hours a day to shape their characters and the
course of their entire lives. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">No pressure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">It's also 9 hours I get a break. I'm not doubting the value of that, either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Sam was very bothered the other day when he had to take a
quiz and the question had to do with when dinosaurs roamed the earth. He told me he <b>knew</b> the right answer
was, "6000 years" but the quiz only allowed him to choose one of four
wrong answers, all of which involved billions of years. It about killed his little conscience to have
to put down the answer the teacher wanted to hear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">I hate that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">However, it's real life, unless you are able to live a
pretty isolated existence. You have to
pick your battles with the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">He also seemed to struggle for a few days with math,
which is Common Core and not what he is used to. It seems to be coming along better. After all, numbers are numbers. Common Core is just a different way of
teaching them and he's figuring it out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Lizzie reports that everything is fine at school. When I ask her if she is making friends, she
says that she is. But she's
struggling. I am appreciative that the
school gives the kids 3 recesses a day - over an hour of outside play. But she is losing some of that time because
she says she has to stay inside and finish her writing. I haven't heard anything from the teacher yet
so I don't think it's a real huge problem yet.
I also know Lizzie and I know she doesn't like to spend any time on
things she is not interested in.
Handwriting has never been something that excites her and when I
homeschooled her, her writing was barely legible because she was in a hurry to
get it done.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">I was talking to my pastor's wife this weekend and she
commented that it always took her kids about 6 weeks to get back into the
groove of school after summer vacation.
So, maybe it's just going to take more time. It's only been 2 weeks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Ellie, on the other hand, is loving everything about
preschool! Every day she comes home with
stories. Last Thursday one of her
classmates had a diarrhea accident and she talked about that all the way
home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Of course.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">There is a little girl in the class named,
"Awna" which is kind of unusual.
But it sounds a lot like "Ana" from "Frozen." Ellie has that twisted up in her mind to the
point that she nows refers to this little girls as, "Elsa."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">And Ben, of course, has slipped right back into the
groove of high school although he is fretting more and more about next year and
already missing the school, I think. I
told him he's going to miss out on today's enjoyment if he constantly borrows
trouble from tomorrow. I should probably
remind myself of that more often, too, huh?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Last week the classes had their elections and Ben's
senior classmates decided they wanted Ben to have a position. So they created one for him - "officer
at large." This is primarily
honorary, but when they have their meetings Ben will attend and fill in for
anyone missing. He was so tickled and I
about cried over the kindness of those fellow teenagers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Ben was telling me about it (I had to text his teacher to
get clarification) and he said, matter-of-factly, "It's just because I'm
so popular, Mom." That made me
smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">The other night at church Ellie approached a 60+ year old
friend of mine and asked her about her cold sore on her lip. My friend replied, "Oh, it's just a
little sore I get sometimes." Ellie
replied, sympathetically, "Because you're old?" It's a good thing my friend has a sense of
humor!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">**********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<u><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Monday Morning<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Ok, so I might actually like this late start Monday
thing. All of us snagged extra sleep
this morning. I didn't feed the kids
breakfast because they were actually awake enough in able to manage to do it
themselves. And there was even time for
them to get a start on their after-school chores before the bus arrived.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">I went to Ladies Retreat this weekend. It had been several years since my last time
there. I did not realize how much I
needed that time away until I was there.
The speaker was a college professor from Summit University (formerly
Baptist Bible College in PA). She
coached basketball for 20 years and kind of loped up to the podium. I wasn't sure if I was going to get much out
of her at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">She spoke on holiness.
But the way she did it made it seem, suddenly, <i>accessible</i>. And then, partway through the first session I
looked at her left hand and realized she wasn't wearing a wedding ring. That filled me with immense gladness, which
kind of surprised me. But I reasoned it
out later that this single, middle aged lady up on stage was radiant with the
goodness of God and a close walk with him...and she didn't have a husband. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Kathy and I were both shocked when we ran into each other
that first day. We had just been
together 2 weeks earlier but apparently,
it never occurred to either one of us to ask the other if they were planning to
attend this year! I had a chance to talk
with her pastor's wife who approached me and told me their entire Sioux City
church has been praying for me since Paul's death. She seemed to know all about my kids and
said, "Thank you...for doing what you are." I'm not quite sure what she meant - maybe,
thank you for not falling apart? For
doing what needs to be done? Not sure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">I was going to go to an optional session on Sat. morning
but my friend, Jenny, and I got into an intense, sweet conversation in the
basement of Jensen instead. I think that
was more beneficial.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Arien and her sister rode with us because they were
working the retreat. When Kathy found out Arien was there, she told me
she <i>had</i> to meet this girl who has stolen Will's heart. I introduced them and we talked for a little
bit on Saturday. As Kathy and I walked
away, she said, "She was homeschooled, right?" I affirmed that and she said, "Yeah, I
could kind of tell. She just seemed so
comfortable talking with me." I
told her I'll try to snag her an invite to the wedding. Not an announcement...just looking ahead to
Someday!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Marcia and I listened to the end of the Hawkeye game on
our way home. She is a huge Iowa Hawkeye
football fan. It was an exciting game
and she was whooping it up in the van.
We were just trying to get past Ames before the game ended and we'd
encounter all the game traffic. We made
it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Jonathan had spent Friday and Saturday at my house so he
could help David watch Sam and Ellie (Lizzie ended up spending the weekend with
my friend, Deb). So, Arien and her
sister followed me out to my house to retrieve him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">I fed them supper and they saw I had a sink full of dirty
dishes and before I knew it, those two girls had done them up, wiped down my
counters, and swept the floor. Will got
home from work during the time and I'm sure he was happy to see who was in the
kitchen! But they didn't leave until
after 10 - which was totally fine. And I
got to wake up to a clean kitchen, which was wonderful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<u><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Monday aft.<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">I'm not getting much done today. I did take David to a new chiropractor, which
is going to cost me. It's very hard to
find any chiropractic care with his state health insurance. He's been complaining of neck and back pain
for months now so I figured I had better get it checked out. I wanted to go somewhere other than just a
bone cracker, like I see. I had heard
good things about this particular chiropractic dr. in Altoona, so I took him. This lady was very thorough and asked all
kinds of questions and even did xrays.
She thinks David's stress levels have definitely been a contributing
factor, but announced that he does have scoliosis, which alarmed me. However, it's not severe and she thinks she
can take care of it through chiropractic care.
She said if the curvature was worse, she'd definitely send us to a
regular dr, though. She also said his
rapid growth that occurred between his 14th and 15th birthdays could have
messed with his spine as well. His range
of motion is not what it should be and she said he's just not moving like a
normal 16 year old.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">She needs some time to analyze all the data and xrays she
took today and then we go see her in a week to discuss a treatment plan. I'm hoping it's not too involved, given the
insurance situation. However, I want to
see him healthy, as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">**********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Well, I think that's all I know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Arien called me today while I was driving home, bubbling
over with excitement that she just landed a full-time job. It sounds like an ideal situation and I am
thrilled for her. It just seems like God
is opening up doors left and right for Will and her - doors that will
eventually merge into one, I presume.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">Ok, so THAT is all I know. Tomorrow I have to get ready for a city
council meeting, Wed, I have to take David back to the chiropractor for an
adjustment and then I have to write an article for an on-line publication that
is due by Sunday. Thursday I am devoting
to writing the RBP article that's been hanging over my head for weeks and is
due in early Oct. Still don't know what
I'm going to write for either article yet!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-size: 14pt;">I'll be back...sometime.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">.</span></i><i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #222222; font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">ow with a
certain amount of anticipation, although there are still moments when I am sick
at heart to think that that future will never again include him, other than the
quick glimpses I sometimes see in my sons. As much as hope is beginning to seep
back into our lives, I am also accepting that, for the rest of our lives, we
will be among the walking wounded, forever hurt and altered by Paul's early
death. As sad as that sounds, it really isn't, though. Even scarred, life is
still pretty beautiful.</span></i><i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 12.0pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 18.6667px; font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="textjoel-2-25" style="font-size: 18.6667px; font-style: italic;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25" style="font-size: 18.6667px; font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="textjoel-2-25" style="font-size: 18.6667px; font-style: italic;">
</span><i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 18.6667px; font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--></span></i></span><i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-91741645456882782302015-09-06T19:10:00.000-05:002015-09-06T19:10:05.727-05:00Day 824
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Sept. 6, 2015<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Day 824<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">It's been...a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It's been hard and we're still adjusting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It probably wouldn't seem that bad but my
allergies have been awful, which means I'm short on sleep, my eyeballs feel
like they have sand in them, and my nose is prone to spontaneously erupting into
a fountain. I've had migraine like sinus pain for days now. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can't wait for the first frost...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I have found myself missing Paul more this week but I
know it's because I don't feel good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I've been at this widowhood thing long enough to know that when I feel
lousy, the missing-him feelings intensify.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Of course, the biggest thing this week has been the
commencement of school for Sam and Lizzie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Well, Ben and David started, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It's old hat for Ben and David is home, as usual. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Monday morning, Sam crawled into my bed at 4am, so
excited he could hardly sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
having difficulty sleeping because of the allergies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I managed a little bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had my alarm set for 6:25 and at 6, Sam
exclaims, "It's 6:00, Mom!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have
to get up!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never did get back to
sleep after that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">As we were getting ready that morning, Sam picked up his
Bible and asked if I thought he should bring it to school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked him why and he replied so that if
anyone tried to teach him something that wasn't true, he'd be ready to show
them the truth!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I've done too much
warning to the kids in advance of school?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I assured him he'd be fine to leave the Bible home...but then he told me
that afternoon when I picked him up that his teacher read a story about
dinosaurs, purporting the 3.5 billion year theory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First day!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Ugh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The kids were nervous, but there were no first-day
tears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We prayed in the van before I
walked them into school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I picked
them up that afternoon they were full of stories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The next day they rode the bus for the first time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I introduced them to the bus driver who has
been driving Ben for years now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He made
the comment, "So, you're sending them to public school now, are you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, up until now, you've sure done a good
job with your kids!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stewed on
that all morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was he merely complimenting
me, or was he saying that until now - until I<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>made this poor decision - I had been a good mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But now, it was all downhill?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still don't know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">When the kids got off the bus that afternoon, the first
thing they had to tell me about were all the new swear words they had picked up
on the bus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had forgotten about that part of public
school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember now being so shocked
as a second grader when I first attended public school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Little kids know some nasty words and aren't
hesitant about sharing their knowledge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If that was true in 1978 when I went, I can only imagine what it's like
now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, we had a conversation and I
imagine there will be a number of similar conversations in the days and months
to come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sigh...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">By the third day Sam had informed me he was the
"third goodest" in his class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not sure which was more appalling - his pride or grammar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has also declared that he now has a
"best friend" named Xavier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not sure if Xavier knows he has a best friend or not, but I guess we'll
see!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Lizzie hasn't been so quick to report on things at
school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She says everything is going
fine and that the girls are being nice to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Her teacher emailed me on Tuesday, saying Lizzie had cried at school
when asked to write her letters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess
she couldn't remember how to make some of her lower case ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When she got home, she accused me of
"not teaching" her them, but I know I did!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam's teacher said Sam also got teary-eyed
one day this week, when asked to write.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I guess he was frustrated with himself, as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But she has an aide in the classroom and once
the aide assisted him, he was fine again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Both teachers were quick to respond to my emails this
week and they both sent home a weekly update on Friday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found this encouraging, that they seem to
want to be in contact with the parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Lizzie's teacher commented in hers that she had to tie an awful lot of
shoes on gym day and asked parents to <i>please</i> teach their first graders
how to tie!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was relieved that Lizzie
does know how to do that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Ellie had her open house for preschool last Thursday
evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her school begins this
Tuesday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has been so excited for the
start of preschool, chattering about it nearly<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>non-stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I was surprised
when we pulled up to the church where it is held at, and I opened her door, to
see that Ellie had tear tracks down her face and more brimming in her little
eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">"I miss Lizzie!" she sobbed into my leg.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that loosely translates into,
"I'm scared."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told her,
"You know, Jesus will be with you when you go to preschool."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ellie looked at me and exclaimed, "No,
He won't - He's dead!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guess she
missed the other half of that story...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But she warmed up once we were inside and after a little
bit, she was willing to play with the toys, although, she did not seem to want
me to go very far away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But, I reminded myself, this is <i>normal</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not normal was when I handed her off to the
nursery the first Sunday she was in my care, on her first birthday, actually,
and she didn't make a peep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her sad little
eyes just accepted the transition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
remember thinking to myself, "This isn't right."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A normal, attached child will fuss at least a
little bit when Mom walks away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I
wasn't Mom yet then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was just one more
adult in a long line of ever-changing caregivers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It wasn't but a few months until she did
start to protest when I would drop her off in the nursery and it was relieving
to know that she was attaching to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">So, even if she cries this Tuesday<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>morning in earnest, it's ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember dropping Ben off for his first day
of preschool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It about ripped my heart
out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was screaming bloody murder,
flailing his legs against the teacher who held him, and stretching his arms out
to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It took every ounce of willpower
for me to walk out that room that fall day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I knew he was where he needed to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Ellie is different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I've never believed preschool to be necessary for the typical child,
which she is - I think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I also
believe it will do her some good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
will do ME some good, which is a consideration as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I found out that Ellie got into the morning class, which
is what I wanted all along, but it didn't sound like that was going to
happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have 13 in both the morning
and afternoon sessions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, we got a
full scholarship, which is an answer to prayer, too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">While we were at the preschool, Ellie asked me to read
her the names of all the students, which were printed on this chart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One little boy is named,
"Stealth."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have never heard
that before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>Why</i> would a parent
name their child that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It isn't even
like it's a <i>good</i> character quality (unless they grow up to be a spy).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The other day I suggested to Will that he could name his
first son, "Kinnick," after the Hawkeye stadium in Iowa City.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An older lady who writes a column for the
Pville newspaper ("My Two Cents Worth" it's called) has a great
grandson with that name which is the first time I've heard it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I kind of like it and with Will being such a
Hawkeye fan, it seems like a good choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But Will said that was "weird."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess he's too much like his dad - likes
tradition in names.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Last Monday I was sneezing (of course) and I pulled or
pinched a muscle in my neck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The pain
has been unbelievable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I finally went to
the chiropractor on Friday and he helped, but it hasn't relaxed all the way
yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I had that to deal with on top
of the allergies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was so awful I
couldn't sleep at night without the help of an Advil PM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not know sneezing could cause an injury
like that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The kids went to the dentist this week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I happened to mention to David on the day of
the appointment that he had one and he stopped in his tracks and exclaimed,
"Why didn't you tell me?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
said, "I just did."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And he
went on to tell me that no, he needed advance notice so he could start brushing
his teeth on a more regular basis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Eww.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'd like to think he already
does that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But his teeth were fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Both Sam and Lizzie, however, have two cavities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And Lizzie has to go to Iowa City on Oct. 5
for a consult with an orthodontist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
dentist had recommended this to me last Jan, but I didn't<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sense that urgency was a factor then. I mean,
she's only 6.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If braces are in her
future, surely they would be a ways off yet. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told me this week to not waste any time in
getting this appointment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her permanent
teeth are a royal mess, he says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They're
obviously crooked in the front and the dentist said she's got permanent teeth
growing in behind other permanent and baby teeth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, there's that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">And then, Sam's two front teeth have grown in in an
inverted "v."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dentist
suggested that I have him place a popsicle stick behind them every day for 10
min. and press against the teeth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
said they may straighten out doing that, but they may not, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Sure hope those investments of mine do well...sounds like
I'm going to be lining the pockets of orthodontists for awhile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I am a very good mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At least I was yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
kids had wanted to visit a "real" pool all summer long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One day in August we had tried to go to the
Carlisle pool but it was closed, even though, according to their website, they
should have been open.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt terrible
for the kids that day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Most pools close around the time school starts, but I had
done some research and found out that the Ankeny aquatic center is open through
Labor Day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My thought was to go one day
this week, but when I called up there, I found out that they are only open
weekends now that school has started.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, since tomorrow is supposed to be rainy and cool, I knew our only
chance to go would be yesterday, when it was 95+ and sunny out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even though I felt terrible with my
allergies. That's where the "good mom" part comes in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">So we went, and it's a really nice place, which is why
they probably get $7 a person for admission.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Their big thing there are the waterslides, but I didn't want to do any
of those with my neck already in so much pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They do have a lazy river and I enjoyed that quite a bit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I spent most of my time in the splash/wading pool with
Ellie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since Ben and David were off on
the slides and the Littles were playing, I was alone with my thoughts and
observations for quite awhile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The pool
is a good place to people watch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I noticed a few things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There were a number of black children - with white parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still don't see that all that often when
we're out and about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it makes
sense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ankeny has an exploding
demographic and all the residents are in higher income brackets - just to
afford the housing, if nothing else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
mean this water park we were at is built in a beautiful new addition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All the houses are made to look similar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They actually look a lot like beach houses in
New England - clapboard siding, cupolas, "beachy" colors, a lot of rock
on the foundation, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None of them are
mansions, although they are decent sizes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My guess is that they start in the $300,000 range and Will laughed when
I said that and said, "Um, try half a million, Mom."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Wow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can't even
imagine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But, anyway, families who could afford houses like that
could afford to adopt internationally, which might be some of what I was seeing
with the black children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to
strike up conversations with the parents but I wasn't sure how to do that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some kids were black, black and it's safe to
assume they probably came from Ethiopia or Ghana.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But others had more medium shading, like my
girls, and I didn't want to assume they were adopted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would be embarrassing if they were
actually just mixed and I said something about adoption to their mothers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I kept quiet and nobody approached me,
either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did notice that both Lizzie
and Ellie zeroed in on these children and struck up conversations with
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm going to have to do something,
sometime, about the lack of diversity in their lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But not today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ellie saw one little girl with corn rows and
beads and suggested I ought to do her<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>hair like that, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But most people there were white because, after all, this
IS Iowa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I amused myself by watching
them and reading their tatoos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One girl
had tatooed above her pelvic bone, "First you live and then you
die."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Duh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">One guy there had a man bun, which is an instant turn-off
for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If that wasn't bad enough, he
had hoops strung through both his pierced nipples and a ring between his
nostrils.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It made me reflexively put my
hands protectively to my chest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why do
people want to do that to themselves?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Eww, eww, eww...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">And I noticed a ton of belly button piercings on women
(thankfully - that would be weird on a guy).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don't know that I've ever seen so many.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn't realize that fad was still
happening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A number of them had shiny
jewelry hanging down from their navels but I guess I've been a mom for too
long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could only wince as I imagined a
toddler grabbing onto that jewelry and yanking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I remember years ago my cousin relating to me how she had hers pierced
and then as her pregnancy increased the stud suddenly popped out one day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That still makes me laugh to imagine that!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">One really overweight guy was in the kiddie pool and he
was wearing denim shorts with a belt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Ellie wanted to (loudly) know why he wasn't wearing swim trunks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was just trying to imagine what wet denim
must feel like against his legs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And a
belt, too?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But maybe he would have lost
the shorts without it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The kids had a good time and I told them we'll go again
next summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm sure I will enjoy my
time of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>observation all over again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I made some rasin oatmeal cookies this week, which are
almost all gone now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam enthusiasticly
told me last night how much he "loves your raisin cookies, Mom!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then he continued, "You know what you
should do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You should make them again,
only instead of using raisins, make them with chocolate chips.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That would be really good!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">In other words - make chocolate chip cookies, I think!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">*****************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I imagine this week will go by pretty quickly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tomorrow is Labor Day, which means I get to
sleep in, if the kids let me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a
list of things I'd like to get finished before day's end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Will and I are going to pay a visit to US Cellular this
week and see about upgrading our phones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I'm feeling the need for a smart phone so we'll see about that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, a <i>need</i>!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">And then, Friday is Ladies' Retreat up at camp.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I haven't been there in 4 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm looking forward to it and hoping my allergies
don't make it too miserable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think
I've got everything worked out as far as child care goes and I'll be able to
head out for two days without needing to worry too much.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Oh, it looks like Will may have a new job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has to do a "lift" test this
week as a requirement for employment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's a warehouse job so I guess
they need to see if he's able to handle heavy loads.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He's in the prime of his existence, so I
don't imagine he'll have any trouble.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This job just sounds ideal, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He can pretty much set his own hours and the pay is nearly double what
he's been getting at Sportsmans.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">This past Friday was Ben's first time assisting the
football team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn't go to the game
because of the heat and my allergies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But I guess he's retrieving the tee after every kick-off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has his own jersey and everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The coach asked that Will sit with Ben and
assist him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked Will if it felt good
to be on the bench again and he just nodded and smiled in a beautific way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">He's meant to be a future coach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Of course, I have no ideas of the twists and turns Will's
life may take yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there will be
some of those, no doubt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But right now,
it appears things are falling into place for him in so many areas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God seems to be opening doors and revealing
paths previously<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hidden.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a mother, it's kind of exciting to see
these things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's really cool to watch
your child step into adulthood and to know that things are going to be ok.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I didn't screw him up too badly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">One down...five to go.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">.</span></i><i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #222222;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #222222;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: #222222;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: #222222;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: #222222;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><span style="font-family: Century;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in; text-align: center;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">ow with a
certain amount of anticipation, although there are still moments when I am sick
at heart to think that that future will never again include him, other than the
quick glimpses I sometimes see in my sons. As much as hope is beginning to seep
back into our lives, I am also accepting that, for the rest of our lives, we
will be among the walking wounded, forever hurt and altered by Paul's early
death. As sad as that sounds, it really isn't, though. Even scarred, life is
still pretty beautiful.</span></i><i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1843707059035864321.post-6555676534603401072015-08-27T20:18:00.000-05:002015-08-27T20:23:23.454-05:00Day 814<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Day 814<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<b><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">We'll see if I get this wrapped up today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I had a funeral this morning I was supposed to attend
(nobody said I had to, but I put that pressure on myself).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I didn't go, figuring I will write the
widow, an older friend of mine, a letter instead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not quite sure why I didn't go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've been to other funerals since Paul's
death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I didn't want to, so I
didn't.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it was selfishness; maybe
it was trying to slow down in a week that<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>has been pretty insane, schedule-wise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I'm going to have to swing by the eyeglass place tomorrow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This left lens is just not quite right.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I've been skipping a lot of church lately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's not completely intentional.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My last few Wednesday nights just have not
worked, schedule-wise and because of allergies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Last night I had a monster of a headache.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Besides, I am going to work in Patch club,
starting in a couple of weeks, so I know these weeks of Wed. night freedom are
drawing to a close.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm staying home on
Sunday nights for a couple of months because our pastor has started a series on
marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have no objection to that, I
think it's important.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Families are the
backbone of the church and they are definitely under attack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But right now, I just can't sit through
studies on the importance and implementation of a biblical marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told the kids it would be like if our dr.
told us we could no longer eat chocolate and we found out our church was going
to begin a series on the joys of chocolate - how to eat it, how to enjoy it
better, God's plan for chocolate in our lives...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Not happening.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">So, anyway, with all the Wednesday night services we've
missed lately, we've gotten to watch the normal line-up on channel 5 (ABC?)
which is pretty good - "The Middle," "The Goldbergs," and
"Blackish," - the girls love that show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it's a little dumb, but they are
attracted to the color of the characters, which is fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least they're portrayed as an upper middle
class family, not gangbangers in the 'hood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Last week I watched both "The Middle" and "The
Goldbergs" and both episodes dealt with the parents desiring to spend time
with their teen and college-age children - but the kids didn't have a real
interest in that - surprise, surprise...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">It occurred to me that right now, I am always looking for
an "escape" from my Littles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
can't even type on the computer without Lizzie leaning on my shoulders,
pressing my elbows into the keypad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
don't dare send any of them to bed without tucking them in, and all day long I
hear, "Mom, Mom, Mom!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">It is exhausting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But they grow too quickly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And soon I'll be in the shoes of the
characters on these made-up tv shows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
already am with Will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel grateful
when he actually sits down and shares bits of his life with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>Grateful!</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yet, I'm the one who got my gut cut open
for him, nursed him non-stop for his first year of life, and basically kept him
alive for those first few years...and now I'm in a position to be thankful for
any scraps of time that he deigns to throw my way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">It's the way it goes, I guess, the natural order of
things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kids have to separate from their
parents in order to become adults and later, decent spouses and parents to
their own children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it sometimes
seems unfair that the one (me) who gave so much gradually gets pushed out of
the way altogether.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Anyway, it makes me think I probably shouldn't cringe so
much when the Littles' demands on my time and attention seem so onerous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's not going to last.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">***************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">A couple of weeks ago the football legend, Frank Gifford,
died.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had never heard of him until I
was in my early twenties and working and the "Regis and Kathy Lee"
show would be on at work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, he
died of old age and Kathy was back at her post on the Today show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She made a very God-honoring tribute to her
late husband that morning and I thought she did a great job of holding herself
together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But then I began to see some criticism on the internet of
the fact that she was back to work after only 8 days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some were accusing her of not being very
feeling or appropriate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Give me a
break!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I can tell those criticizing idiots why she was back at
work so soon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When your world has been
shaken to its core you desire stability and return to familiarity just as
quickly as you can manage to get your feet back up and moving, supporting your
weight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anything that is slightly
familiar is clung to with the grip of a toddler on toy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Getting back into any sort of routine or
engaging in activities that happened before the loss are NOT an indication of
one's heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are simply a way of
surviving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Sometime last week Lizzie accused Sam of pushing
Ben.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam looked at her and commented,
"Nuh, uh - the only people I would push on purpose are you and
Ellie!"<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I guess he gets points for honesty!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The other night a friend, who is really, really good with
my kids, invited us all over for supper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I had told the Littles we were going, but they didn't realize I was
planning on going, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When they found
out, Sam expressed his disappointment and explained, "Things just aren't
as fun when you're around!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I'm feeling loved.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">***********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I'm still puzzling out something that happened to me last
Friday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last week I read an article
written by a friend in which she touched on the topic of bitterness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She mentioned how it is so easy for her to
ruminate on wrongs done to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boy, can
I relate!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wonder if it's a female
thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'll pull out these offenses and
rub them over and over again in my mind, like I'm polishing a stone or
something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even if I try to think about
other things, my mind keeps going back to what was done to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">A lot of Christians blithely advise others that they just
"need to forgive" but I've never completely bought into that theory,
either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do you forgive someone who
doesn't ask for forgiveness?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do you
forgive someone who isn't even sorry?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
was really glad a few years ago when our church did a video series by a
gentleman who backed me up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His belief
was that, as Christians, we need to be in a place of being <i>willing</i> to
forgive the offender, but forgiveness is a two-way endeavor and can't happen
until asked for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">My friend said that she finally began praying for those
that<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>had offended her when these
thoughts would come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's not a huge
secret that a lot wrong has been done to me by Paul's family since his death,
particularly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has been very easy for
me to dwell on this, partially I would imagine because it's been so
devastatingly painful for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few
months ago it occurred to me that I need to be cautious, lest I end up just as
bitter as they are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I definitely don't
want that kind of disease in my spiritual and emotional life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've actually made a lot of progress in
recent months of simply letting go and walking away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just recently I was talking with my pastor's
wife about this and finally admitting to her that I don't think reconciliation
is going to happen and she agreed with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At the same time, though, I've been praying that reconciliation <i>will</i>
occur and that it will be so deep and so miraculous and genuine that it is
obvious to all that this has come about solely because of God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">So anyway, I chewed over my friend's words and last
Thursday night as I was driving the old, familiar hurts rose up in my
mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But this time I immediately began
praying and it wasn't, "Lord - show them where they are totally wrong and
make them want to make this right!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Rather I was able to actually pray for them in a manner that had nothing
to do with what they have done to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
can't describe the peace that washed over me right then.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">That's not to say I've suddenly got this whole
being-offended thing right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm still
hurt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They're still wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still need to stick to my guns about the proper
method of reconciliation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still need
to observe the protective boundaries I've erected around the children and
myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it's progress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All along I've been sure they need to change
- and they do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But maybe there was a
part of me that needed to change, too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">So, that was Thursday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Friday, my jaw about hit the f loor when the kids announced that
"someone is here" and I walked out to the kitchen and it was Paul's
brother, Mike, and his family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I haven't
seen them since about two weeks after the funeral.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have not been offensive and done
anything hurtful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They just haven't done
anything at all - which is hurtful in a situation like this, but it's pretty
par for the course with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's
never been a, "Thinking of you" note on FB or anything like
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, they haven't accused me of
manslaughter/causing Paul's dad's heart attacks/desiring to kill his parents,
either...so, it is what it is with them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">My first thought was to wonder if this was an answer to
my prayers the night before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I honestly
don't know if it was or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nonetheless,
I found the visit encouraging, if a bit weird.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was concerned that they would desire to talk about the situation with
the rest of the family, but they didn't, and I wasn't about to bring it up,
myself!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So we chatted about
non-important things and after about a half hour, they left.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">All of this has me saying, hmmm....<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I don't know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
just really don't.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">A couple of days later I swung by the cemetary because I
had a couple of things to drop off at the grave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found some antlers pinned to the ground
beside the grave marker and I knew Mike had been there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was perfect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He and Paul had hunted together from the time
they were children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wonder why we
never thought to put anything about hunting up there?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was such a big part of his life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it seems fitting that they came from his
brother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">***********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Recently, I wrote about all these dire prophecies and
predictions I'm hearing right now regarding the end of the world, a coming
financial crisis, and so on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not
joining the clamor, but neither am I completely ignorant, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm watching.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Well, this week my "No Greater Joy"
newsletter/magazine arrived.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's put
out by the Pearls and while I don't agree with all their parenting advice, I do
find the biblical teaching pretty solid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This very subject was addressed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>One thing they pointed out was Luke 21: 25-27<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">And there shall be signs in the sun, and in
the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with
perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring; men's hearts failing them for fear,
and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the
powers of heaven shall be shaken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
then shall they see the Son of man coming in a cloud iwth power and great
glory.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Their point was that we should not panic, but the dread
we are seeing today amongst Christians is a sign itself that something is
coming.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">So, we'll see, I guess.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">******************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I mentioned yesterday about our experience at the fair -
how it was a less than fun time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
want to know what else ruined it for me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was wandering around the quilts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Quilting is an art that I completely admire, mostly because I know there
is no way I'll ever be able to do it myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There's a whole lot of work that goes into those things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One I saw was pink and had a
"horse" theme.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It had pictures
of horses screenprinted onto fabric which was then quilted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The binding and background were all done with
a "horsey" fabric.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The maker even quilted
the word, "horses" onto her work of art, just in case the viewer
didn't quite grasp the theme.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Only, she quilted, "HORSE'S"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Ruined...completely ruined...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I was telling this story to Kathy the other day and she
laughed and said, "Only you, Sarah - only you!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I don't think it's only me.</span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"></span> </div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><em>And a postscript...at tonight's school open house, I had a letter from one of the kids' teachers that began, "Dear Parent's," No, no, NO-O-O!!!</em></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">***********************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Yesterday Sam and the 12 year old neighbor kid asked if I
had any spray paint with which they could paint their scooters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn't see any harm in it so I let them
have some, warning them to spray away from the garage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They agreed and it wasn't too much later that
they were zipping down the alley on their freshly painted scooters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All was fine until I happened to look at the
cement slab in front of the garage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Those rotten kids had written their name in spray paint!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They also wrote the names of several of their
siblings!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It looks like gang symbols are
all over the parking area now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">NOT happy...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I dealt with Sam and when that kid came back I confronted
him (nicely) and he miserably told me he was sorry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He added, "It seems like I'm always
saying that, but I really do mean it!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is the same kid that planted his big bare foot on my freshly
painted back steps - after I had just used the last of the paint and it seems
like he did a couple of other things this summer, too, that I can't remember
now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">That cracked me up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I didn't show it, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have
a fairly good idea of what his home life is like and I suspect I<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>may be the only adult in his life that
extends him grace, so I'm trying to be nice here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">**************************<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I took Sam and Lizzie to the open house at school
tonight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am having a bit of an
internal freak-out, but trying to remain calm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I can't believe I'm doing this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Well, I can, but I can't.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What am
I thinking?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The other night I had dinner with three ladies in my
writing group before our meeting started.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I shared with them how I had just read a statistic the night before that
only FIVE percent of children who go through the public school system retain
their Christian faith after graduation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now, granted, this was in a homeschool publication that I read
this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have no idea where the author
got his figure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I expected the ladies to
immediately assure me that that number had to be way off base.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, each of them nodded and commented
about how they each had a child who, for a time at least, had walked away from
his faith.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Argh!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What am I doing?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I know there are no guarantees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I graduated from a Christian school and not
all who professed Christ in my class still walk with Him today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can point to several public school kids in
my church youth group who, thirty years later, have a vibrant walk with the
Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A couple I think of even became
pastor's wives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I know it's not all about the schooling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Home life and parenting, along with
self-will, have an awful lot to do with how a child turns out, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">This summer God brought a couple of people into Will's
life at camp with whom he was able to connect and get advice as he plans his
future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One was a public school teacher
who has seven kids, all of whom are homeschooled presently, but he's hoping to
change that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He pointed out to Will that
public schools are a wide-open mission field and have only gotten darker as
Christian parents have largely pulled their kids out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But then I am reminded of all the homeschool
speakers I've heard who assert that our kids will not change the darkness; the
darkness will change them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I know this is temporary freak out session.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not forgetting the peace that has long
accompanied this decision to enroll the kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Despite the flurry of misgivings I am having at this very moment, I
really don't doubt this decision.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's
right for right now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I am not deciding the course of their entire
education.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am deciding it for right
now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For a first and second grade
year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">It just seemed so official tonight - meeting the
teachers, putting their things in their desks and lockers (they're mini-lockers
located in their classrooms - so cute!), signing up for class party treats,
reserving a slot for parent/teacher conferences, walking through the doors and
down to the rooms a second time just so the kids will be confident on Monday
that they know where they are going...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I'm handing them over to someone else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I hope they value them the way I do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN;">.</span></i><i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #222222;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" dir="RTL" style="direction: rtl; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<i><span dir="LTR" style="color: #222222;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: #222222;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: #222222;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: #222222;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><span style="font-family: Century;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in; text-align: center;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">ow with a
certain amount of anticipation, although there are still moments when I am sick
at heart to think that that future will never again include him, other than the
quick glimpses I sometimes see in my sons. As much as hope is beginning to seep
back into our lives, I am also accepting that, for the rest of our lives, we
will be among the walking wounded, forever hurt and altered by Paul's early
death. As sad as that sounds, it really isn't, though. Even scarred, life is
still pretty beautiful.</span></i><i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">What I
have learned in two years of widowhood:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">• God is
good - so, so good <br />
• I am loved far more than I ever knew <br />
• I have amazing, resilient children (I am reaping what Paul sowed into their
lives) <br />
• Darkness eventually gives way to light <br />
• Strength and wisdom are mine for the asking <br />
• I don't have to have all the answers <br />
• God delights in carefully and tenderly mending torn-apart hearts<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt 0in;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; display: none; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-hide: all;">Psalm
73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and
my portion forever.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Century Gothic";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: Molengo;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: proxnov-reg; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 12pt -6.75pt 12pt -8.25pt;">
<i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><o:p> </o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><o:p> </o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span class="textjoel-2-25"><i><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--></i></span><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i><o:p> </o:p></i></div>
Sarah Heywoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07576558183257427173noreply@blogger.com2