What am emotional night last night was - Will's final football game. I was ruminating on the significance of the night while I got everything and everyone ready to go. I thought to myself, "I ought to write this down!" So I did and it turned into a long Facebook post. I think I touched a nerve - lots of parents, football and otherwise, have responded back. It was kind of a miserable night, weather-wise - misting, windy, and oh-so-cold. But I wouldn't have been anywhere else in the world. After the game, all we senior parents just hung around, waiting for the coaches to get done with their post-game talk to the players. Will walked toward me, I held out my arms, and he walked right into them. It would have been a movie moment, except that I smashed my glasses and my nose on his chest armor. We posed for pictures and then got all the seniors together for more pictures. Ben asked me, "Why are they all crying?" The end of an era...
And the next awaits! Will filled out his application to Faith this week. I need to download a FAFSA form. We received a postcard this week from Faith about their scholarship weekend in March, so we're making plans to attend that. But first, there's still some senior year things to get out of the way - like school. Will has been taking a college class this semester at the school - Psych I. He has absolutely loved it. He loves it so much that he found out they are offering Pysch II next semester - at 7 am! And he wants to sign up for it! This is my child who thinks it is just cruel to ask anyone to roll out of bed before 10 am. I'm not sure what he'll do with all this psychology - I can't really envision him sitting in an office while someone lays on a couch and spills their guts to him while he makes notes and offers sympathetic "hmm, um, hums." He'd be more likely to snap, "Yeah, so? Life isn't all about you!" And there would go his practice!
Oh, I didn't tell about last Friday's game! That was interesting. We had asked the youth group to come over, promising them food if they would watch Will play. They didn't have to be persuaded too hard. So, I baked and baked, got permission to use the elementary school gym, ("Only because Will is such a fantastic kid!" one of his coaches kidded me), and lugged it all into the school. We started watching the game and felt - raindrops. Seriously? It has not rained in months and months, so much that the crops dried up this year, we've been told there hasn't been a drought like this since 1988, and food prices have skyrocketed at the grocery store. And it has to rain on THIS night? The weathermen had been talking about rain for the next day, Saturday, but didn't say a word about Friday. I've watched games in the rain before, so while uncomfortable, it was do-able. But then the lightening started, which made the referrees nervous. Apparently, there are sport rules about lightening - parents get cranky if their kids get electrocuted, I guess. Just as they announced that there would be a 30 min. recess, the rain began to pour down in sheets. We were all soaked as we ran across the street to the high school cafeteria. Paul called Caseys and told them to delay the pizzas. Eventually, the rain let up and the game resumed. And then jagged streaks of lightening began appearing once again. Paul called Caseys and asked them to speed up the pizza order while we ran for cover again. We ended up feeding the youth group then - without Will. The game didn't get over until 10:30. But they won, which made the rain, cold, and potential electrocution all worth it.
The Wednesday before, Will's coach took him and a few other players to Pizza Ranch for supper. He's been doing that throughout the season - finally, it was Will's turn. He told me he ate some chicken and THIRTEEN pieces of pizza! Really, it ought to be illegal to have as many teenage sons as I do at one time. There's not enough money in the world to cover the cost of feeding them! 13 pieces of pizza!
I spent last Sat. in Council Bluffs attending a craft fair with Kathy. We used to go to those all the time, but it had been 9 years. We had fun. I had to take Baby, but she did well - she's pretty easy. It was sunny out there and actually humid. I guess it stormed all day here.
A few weeks ago I was playing a nostalgic CD in the van - filled with 80s hits and songs I remember from my teen years. "Material Girl" came on and L really latched onto that. Ever since, she has been going on around singing, "I'm a cereal girl, I'm a cereal girl!" It just cracks Paul and me up! I definitely do need to make her an appointment with an audiologist, I think, though!
Well - I'm finished and there's no bullet points to be found. Apparently, I felt the need to expound in greater detail than I thought I would. I should be good for another couple of weeks, I think. We enter our official "birthday" season this week. Sam turns 5 on Monday (and he was born on a Monday, too). We'll have our first birthday with L, who turns 4 on Halloween. Then, 2 days later Will will turn 18. And then 2 weeks after that will be Ben's 16th birthday. I also have a niece with a birthday the same day as Will and a nephew with one on Nov. 8. What is it about February that makes people feel all romantic? Oh yeah - Valentines Day. People never think about November when they think about Valentine's, do they?
Gotta run - lots to do, including birthday shopping for a VERY excited little boy!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
Bullet Points
Tonight is Will's last football game - EVER. I should be happy, right? No more injuries, no more risk of permanent brain or spinal cord injuries...but I'm sad at the passing of an era in his life.
Oh, the cake - it had been a few years since I did a Halloween cake, so it was time. I took that up to Waterloo a couple of weekends ago.
Ok, bullet points:
* We have a new dishwasher. The one we bought in '08 quit working and Paul could not fix it. 4 years really does not seem like a very long lifespan for an appliance. I was wondering if we needed to spend more money in order to have something last longer. Instead, the very next day after we decided our dishwasher had gone to that appliance junkyard in the sky, Paul found one at the Habitat for Humanity resale store - barely used and for only $165. I was electronically washing dishes again by that night!
* I got my story written for Tammy to do at church on Christmas Eve. I did it according to her specifications, and she said she loved it - but then wanted to change it. Sigh...but if I didn't agree it would sit on my computer, unused, so I guess it's better than nothing. But the narcissistic part of me that is convinced my writing is golden and perfect the way it is just cringes to see any part of my work changed! I think I need to get over myself.
* I got a call from the school principal a couple of weeks ago, asking me to be on the parental advisory board for the special education dept. at the school. He said he wanted somebody who was "really involved with their children, reasonable, and well-spoken." Well! I think I should be flattered! But there is a part of me that is suspicious that he just needed a warm body to fill a requirement from the dept. of education. We shall see.
* Will's team has won their last 2 games, which is really amazing. They had lost everything prior to that. The first win was again SE Warren, who had also not won anything yet. Evidently, they were convinced that they would win that game. So shocked and upset were they when they were soundly beaten that 2 of the players and the coach promptly quit the team the following Monday!
Ok, those are my bullet points for now. There will be more in a little while!
Blessed
So much to update on...so little time!
This particular post will be a one-subject post, hopefully, a short one, too!
Most know, but I want to make it public - we're keeping the girls!!! Last Friday was Jenn's birthday (Jenn and Paul are adopting the girls' brother that is closest in age to them - they used to be our girls' foster parents) so I began, at the beginning of last week to pray very specifically that we would have an answer by Jenn's birthday. On Thursday, Jenn called and asked, "Are you sitting down?" She had just heard. I have to admit, I pretty weepy throughout that entire phone call!
There is still an appeals process to get through, but we've been assured that is nothing to worry about, so I'm doing my best not to. However, I think I will breathe a little better once that period of time is up! I still feel the need to be a little more guarded on the internet when it comes to posting pictures or specifics about the girls until the appeals process is completed; perhaps until the adoption occurs, too.
I feel like this tremendous burden of worry has been lifted from my shoulders. I am keeping my girls! I am a mother to daughters - after all these years! It's a little mind-boggling. I've noticed that it's made a difference with Paul this week, too. He's been affectionate with the girls before, but this week he has really ramped it up. We're starting to call the girls by their new names. We're kind of mixing that up - just throwing out the new names every so often. So far, they seem really receptive to it. I probably won't make a total name switch-over until the actual adoption, though. The girls have a lot of "new" being thrown at them.
Monday was what they call the "Good-bye" visit with Birth Mom. That was emotional. She did not know until she got to the visit that it was the last one. Her lawyer had not told her, so she was a bit blindsided by the news. I honestly felt bad for her. Jenn and I took pictures of all the kids and their mom. I got some of my girls alone with her. One is just breath-takingly poignant and beautiful. I would love to frame it, it's so good. But I'm thinking that right now, while we try to establish our own family bonds, it's probably not helpful to have a picture of the birth mother in sight. But I am definitely saving prints of these pictures for the girls.
While the kids had their visit, Jenn, Paul, (her Paul, not mine), and I went to a sandwich shop. We have such an amazing bond, even though we've known each other just a few short months. I think we probably would have been friends anyway, but the fact that we love the same children definitely helps. Afterwards we slowly walked back up the sidewalk to the house to claim the children. Our little ones ran toward us and the birth mom walked slowly towards me and placed Baby in my arms. I about lost it at that point. I gave her a hug and told her just how grateful I was. After all the kids had been claimed Birth Mom and her grandmother walked down the sidewalk towards the bus stop, never looking back. I could have wept.
And I did on the way home because L was pretty emotional. She told me that she had started crying during the visit, knowing it was her last one. She wanted to know why and I had to tell her why in a way that didn't place an undue burden on her. At that moment all the good things waiting for her (our family, a secure future, etc) didn't matter. All she knew was that her mother had just walked away - for good. And there wasn't a thing I could do to ease the pain in her little heart. I will spend the rest of my life attempting to point this little girl to the One who can ease the hurt - the One who carried that hurt to the cross so long ago.
So, that's where we are now. I have the freedom to call counselors and doctors and set up appointments. I can cut their hair if I want (although Baby cut a good chunk of hers today when she got a hold of my sewing scissors!). They are MY children - for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in plenty and in want. They are mine, forever and ever.
I have found myself ridiculously close to tears all week long, thinking about how much God has blessed me. Why He would do that is really beyond my understanding.
But I am thankful - so very, very thankful.
This particular post will be a one-subject post, hopefully, a short one, too!
Most know, but I want to make it public - we're keeping the girls!!! Last Friday was Jenn's birthday (Jenn and Paul are adopting the girls' brother that is closest in age to them - they used to be our girls' foster parents) so I began, at the beginning of last week to pray very specifically that we would have an answer by Jenn's birthday. On Thursday, Jenn called and asked, "Are you sitting down?" She had just heard. I have to admit, I pretty weepy throughout that entire phone call!
There is still an appeals process to get through, but we've been assured that is nothing to worry about, so I'm doing my best not to. However, I think I will breathe a little better once that period of time is up! I still feel the need to be a little more guarded on the internet when it comes to posting pictures or specifics about the girls until the appeals process is completed; perhaps until the adoption occurs, too.
I feel like this tremendous burden of worry has been lifted from my shoulders. I am keeping my girls! I am a mother to daughters - after all these years! It's a little mind-boggling. I've noticed that it's made a difference with Paul this week, too. He's been affectionate with the girls before, but this week he has really ramped it up. We're starting to call the girls by their new names. We're kind of mixing that up - just throwing out the new names every so often. So far, they seem really receptive to it. I probably won't make a total name switch-over until the actual adoption, though. The girls have a lot of "new" being thrown at them.
Monday was what they call the "Good-bye" visit with Birth Mom. That was emotional. She did not know until she got to the visit that it was the last one. Her lawyer had not told her, so she was a bit blindsided by the news. I honestly felt bad for her. Jenn and I took pictures of all the kids and their mom. I got some of my girls alone with her. One is just breath-takingly poignant and beautiful. I would love to frame it, it's so good. But I'm thinking that right now, while we try to establish our own family bonds, it's probably not helpful to have a picture of the birth mother in sight. But I am definitely saving prints of these pictures for the girls.
While the kids had their visit, Jenn, Paul, (her Paul, not mine), and I went to a sandwich shop. We have such an amazing bond, even though we've known each other just a few short months. I think we probably would have been friends anyway, but the fact that we love the same children definitely helps. Afterwards we slowly walked back up the sidewalk to the house to claim the children. Our little ones ran toward us and the birth mom walked slowly towards me and placed Baby in my arms. I about lost it at that point. I gave her a hug and told her just how grateful I was. After all the kids had been claimed Birth Mom and her grandmother walked down the sidewalk towards the bus stop, never looking back. I could have wept.
And I did on the way home because L was pretty emotional. She told me that she had started crying during the visit, knowing it was her last one. She wanted to know why and I had to tell her why in a way that didn't place an undue burden on her. At that moment all the good things waiting for her (our family, a secure future, etc) didn't matter. All she knew was that her mother had just walked away - for good. And there wasn't a thing I could do to ease the pain in her little heart. I will spend the rest of my life attempting to point this little girl to the One who can ease the hurt - the One who carried that hurt to the cross so long ago.
So, that's where we are now. I have the freedom to call counselors and doctors and set up appointments. I can cut their hair if I want (although Baby cut a good chunk of hers today when she got a hold of my sewing scissors!). They are MY children - for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in plenty and in want. They are mine, forever and ever.
I have found myself ridiculously close to tears all week long, thinking about how much God has blessed me. Why He would do that is really beyond my understanding.
But I am thankful - so very, very thankful.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Life of the Culturally Un-Elite
I suggested to Will the next day that he might want to see the chiropractor the next week. He told me no way - that would hurt too much. Instead, he kept icing his neck and popping Advil. Monday morning he says to me, "So were you going to call the chiropractor?" (Rolling my eyeballs here) He's had several appts. this week with the guy and is feeling much better. I saw him today for my normal appt and he was telling me that Will is one of the "big guys" now. He couldn't believe how tall and filled out Will had gotten since he saw him a year ago.
We had his senior pictures done the next morning. I was fearful that he would be grimacing too much to actually smile, but he did fine. We met the photographer at Gray's Lake. I had never actually been down in there, although I've driven by the place millions of times. I had such bad shin splints afterwards, following the two of them around, toting all of Will's stuff and clothing changes! For his first picture, Will posed with his shotgun since hunting is a big part of his life. I had told the photographer ahead of time what we wanted to do and he called the police station just to give them a heads up that if they got any calls about a sniper at Gray's Lake, it was only us. Later, after we had shot those pictures, we were walking to another part of the park, when this old guy came up to us and demanded to know why we had a gun at the park (by this point, it was locked back in the van). We explained it was for senior pictures and he started huffing about how inappropriate it was to have that out in public and so forth. I assured him it was never loaded and walked away. Some people! I had a chance to observe those walking the trails there and I concluded that Gray's Lake seems to attract the more culturally and politically elite. It's not for people like us! Of course, it didn't help that we happened upon about a 100 people being guided in yoga and meditation out in the open there, too...Anyway, I am looking forward to seeing the pictures soon.
Our next door neighbor was seriously injured last Thursday out on the highway. He was riding his motorcycle to work (helmet-less) when he hit a deer. He flipped several times. He's been in intensive care ever since and is not conscious. But the doctors do believe he's going to live. It will be a long road of recovery, though. He's having surgery Friday to wire his jaw shut and insert a trache. Paul went up to see him this week and I've been in contact with his daughters. That's got to be devastating, financially, too, to suddenly not have his income anymore.
We're going to see my parents on Saturday. I was hoping to have some news from the court before we went, but I don't know if that's going to happen. My parents have not yet met the girls, so this will be good. I sure hope I can persuade B to be on her best behavior, though!
Sam was so excited this week when he realized it was finally October. Every day he looks at the calendar and counts down the days to his birthday. B is doing the same, too, since her birthday is only a little over a week after Sam's! The way those two are building up their birthdays, I hope they won't be disappointed by my efforts!
Church is tonight, so I need to keep moving. I finished my monologue and will give it to Tammy tonight. It feels like an accomplishment. I had to write it in bits and pieces, which is difficult. And yet I am nervous that she may not like it or find it suitable for what she needs.
Our warm weather comes to an end tonight. I, for one, am glad. I am always happy for the change in seasons. This time of year, I especially love the change because the first hard frost, which we should have this weekend, kills the ragweed. I have had a particularly hard time during harvest lately because it has been so dry. You can just see all the dust in the air hanging there from the combines stirring it up.
All right - gotta run David to the school so he can practice bowling with Ben. Then the rush is on to get to church!
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Life in Bullet Points
Other than the sounds of Baby's babblings, it's quiet in my house. The teenagers are up at FaithFest today, Little Miss is napping, and Sam and his dad went over to the neighbor's to do some work. I'm trying to get everything checked off my to-do list, as well as write a monologue. A year or more ago a friend at church approached me about writing a Christmas monologue for her to perform at this year's Christmas Eve service (that we won't even be attending). I said sure and promptly forgot about it. She reminded me at the beginning of summer and I kept it in the back of my mind. She needs it by October, which is in, oh, one week, so I'm trying really, really hard to be creative today! Actually, I have the story in my mind. Ten days ago I had nothing and then I prayed for a story. One has slowly developed since then. But I write better when I have chunks of time and silence. Unfortunately, both are in very short supply these days.
I think I may have to account for the last 3 weeks in bullet points. It's just been crazy, which is why I haven't been blogging - not enough time. Honestly, it's probably going to be January before I can really slow down again.
So, here's my quick, updating points:
* Life is getting sweeter with Little Miss. I went out of town overnight and both she and Baby were all over me when I came back. I asked Sam if he had a hug for me, but he said, "no" and walked away. Sigh...But I got lots of loving from the girls. The next week Little Miss was an angel and very, very cuddly. This week I saw more of the familiar vinegar in her personality, but that may always be there. It may just be who she is. That's ok. Not everyone is all sweetness and light!
* I went to Ladies Retreat a couple of weekends ago. Our speaker was tremendous. She is president of an organization that rescues women from human trafficking. I honestly had no idea of the scope of the problem until listening to her. Wow, oh, wow. Her Bible teaching was wonderful too. I'm still going through all my notes.
* Will played his first post-concussion game last night. Every time he went down, I was muttering, "Watch the head, watch the head!" He was fine. In fact, all night long, I kept hearing the announcer say, "And helping with the tackle, #7 - Will Heywood!" He said his upper arms are awfully sore today. I can imagine.
* David finished up a watercolor painting this week in his Art class that he gave to me. On the back he wrote, "Thank you for always being their for me." The grammarian inside of me is totally groaning. He also added, "You are a great butterfly!" (his picture has a butterfly in it). I'm really not sure what it means to be a "great butterfly" but I'm going to choose to take that in the vein in which it was offered and assume it means something really good, not, "I think you're a worm with wings." I may frame his picture.
* Sara and family visited last week for an afternoon and evening. They were anxious to meet the girls and I had not seen Baby Allison since her birth. She's 6 months now and a chunk. She's been crawling for a month and is already pulling herself up to stand. I have never heard of a baby doing those things that early before.
* We had our visit with our licensing renewal person this week. I feverishly cleaned and cleaned my house since she told me she'd be doing a walk-through. She never went past my kitchen table after coming in the back door. All that work! Oh, well - it's not like we can't appreciate a clean house, too. She'll be back again next month and I'm sure I will clean like a madwoman again. If I don't, I know she'll definitely want to do the walk-through then!
* Will gets his senior pictures taken next Sat. It was literally the only time we could make work between our schedule and that of the photographer, who is a college student. It sure had better not be raining...
* Sam's 5th birthday is a month from today. He is SO excited. For months now he has been flipping the calendar to October and gazing longingly at day number 22. This week he complained to me that his birthday was still so far away and he didn't think that was quite fair.
* Work on the basement is continuing to progress. One wall is completely finished already.
*No word yet from the court. One night this week I felt strongly as though I should pray about the judge's decision. I almost woke Paul to suggest he do the same, but convinced myself not to because it was probably just my anxieties at play, more than anything. But I prayed for quite some time. I mentioned that to my friend who is waiting for the ok to make the girls' bio brother her forever son and she said that she had had the same feeling Wed. night and had been praying as well. I found that exciting and would not be a bit surprised to learn that that was the night that the judge pondered our case.
*This week I have: 1) attempting to get the city's annual street report submitted (a very arduous and head-banging type of job) 2) night out with Melissa 3) first mammogram since surgery - not looking forward to this since that boob is still tender from last March's surgery 4) Homecoming parade and auction of senior jerseys (I'm hoping someone else will bid for Will's because I sure don't want to spend more than $20 on his jersey, but yet I don't want him to suffer the embarrassment of not having anyone want his jersey. He said one senior's jersey went for more than $400 last year. Yeah - not happening. Besides, embarrassment is a character strengthener, right?) 5) Friday night's homecoming game 6) senior pics
I also need to put together a 1950s outfit for Ben for one of his Spirit days at school. I thought about wrapping a cigarette package in a white t-shirt for him, but I'm guessing that in this day and age of zero tolerance for anything, the school might frown on that. Maybe I can slick his curly hair back into a James Dean do, though, and roll up the cuffs on some jeans. Wonder what guys wore for shoes back then? Hopefully, blue Skechers tennies...
Oh, and one nice thing...allergy season is drawing to a close! It's getting colder and colder these days. One of these nights we're going to have a hard freeze and good-bye sneezing and waking up in the middle of the night to fumble for a little yellow pill so I can breathe and get back to sleep. Actually, this year has probably been the best ever allergy-wise for both Ben and me. That dr. we're seeing is really helping, I think.
I tried to buy the girls slips today since it's going to be chilly tomorrow. I didn't want them freezing under their dresses. I just checked at Walmart but they didn't have any. So I bought them tights instead. I got home and did some internet browsing. When I was a kid I wore slips under every dress I owned. As an adult, I only do it when I'm wearing something sheer or clingy. But I'm thinking they would be helpful for warmth, too. But it was hard to find them! I finally found some on Amazon and ordered them. But it took some searching. I guess maybe little girls don't wear them anymore like they did when I was little.
Ok, back to being creative. I have a deadline!
I think I may have to account for the last 3 weeks in bullet points. It's just been crazy, which is why I haven't been blogging - not enough time. Honestly, it's probably going to be January before I can really slow down again.
So, here's my quick, updating points:
* Life is getting sweeter with Little Miss. I went out of town overnight and both she and Baby were all over me when I came back. I asked Sam if he had a hug for me, but he said, "no" and walked away. Sigh...But I got lots of loving from the girls. The next week Little Miss was an angel and very, very cuddly. This week I saw more of the familiar vinegar in her personality, but that may always be there. It may just be who she is. That's ok. Not everyone is all sweetness and light!
* I went to Ladies Retreat a couple of weekends ago. Our speaker was tremendous. She is president of an organization that rescues women from human trafficking. I honestly had no idea of the scope of the problem until listening to her. Wow, oh, wow. Her Bible teaching was wonderful too. I'm still going through all my notes.
* Will played his first post-concussion game last night. Every time he went down, I was muttering, "Watch the head, watch the head!" He was fine. In fact, all night long, I kept hearing the announcer say, "And helping with the tackle, #7 - Will Heywood!" He said his upper arms are awfully sore today. I can imagine.
* David finished up a watercolor painting this week in his Art class that he gave to me. On the back he wrote, "Thank you for always being their for me." The grammarian inside of me is totally groaning. He also added, "You are a great butterfly!" (his picture has a butterfly in it). I'm really not sure what it means to be a "great butterfly" but I'm going to choose to take that in the vein in which it was offered and assume it means something really good, not, "I think you're a worm with wings." I may frame his picture.
* Sara and family visited last week for an afternoon and evening. They were anxious to meet the girls and I had not seen Baby Allison since her birth. She's 6 months now and a chunk. She's been crawling for a month and is already pulling herself up to stand. I have never heard of a baby doing those things that early before.
* We had our visit with our licensing renewal person this week. I feverishly cleaned and cleaned my house since she told me she'd be doing a walk-through. She never went past my kitchen table after coming in the back door. All that work! Oh, well - it's not like we can't appreciate a clean house, too. She'll be back again next month and I'm sure I will clean like a madwoman again. If I don't, I know she'll definitely want to do the walk-through then!
* Will gets his senior pictures taken next Sat. It was literally the only time we could make work between our schedule and that of the photographer, who is a college student. It sure had better not be raining...
* Sam's 5th birthday is a month from today. He is SO excited. For months now he has been flipping the calendar to October and gazing longingly at day number 22. This week he complained to me that his birthday was still so far away and he didn't think that was quite fair.
* Work on the basement is continuing to progress. One wall is completely finished already.
*No word yet from the court. One night this week I felt strongly as though I should pray about the judge's decision. I almost woke Paul to suggest he do the same, but convinced myself not to because it was probably just my anxieties at play, more than anything. But I prayed for quite some time. I mentioned that to my friend who is waiting for the ok to make the girls' bio brother her forever son and she said that she had had the same feeling Wed. night and had been praying as well. I found that exciting and would not be a bit surprised to learn that that was the night that the judge pondered our case.
*This week I have: 1) attempting to get the city's annual street report submitted (a very arduous and head-banging type of job) 2) night out with Melissa 3) first mammogram since surgery - not looking forward to this since that boob is still tender from last March's surgery 4) Homecoming parade and auction of senior jerseys (I'm hoping someone else will bid for Will's because I sure don't want to spend more than $20 on his jersey, but yet I don't want him to suffer the embarrassment of not having anyone want his jersey. He said one senior's jersey went for more than $400 last year. Yeah - not happening. Besides, embarrassment is a character strengthener, right?) 5) Friday night's homecoming game 6) senior pics
I also need to put together a 1950s outfit for Ben for one of his Spirit days at school. I thought about wrapping a cigarette package in a white t-shirt for him, but I'm guessing that in this day and age of zero tolerance for anything, the school might frown on that. Maybe I can slick his curly hair back into a James Dean do, though, and roll up the cuffs on some jeans. Wonder what guys wore for shoes back then? Hopefully, blue Skechers tennies...
Oh, and one nice thing...allergy season is drawing to a close! It's getting colder and colder these days. One of these nights we're going to have a hard freeze and good-bye sneezing and waking up in the middle of the night to fumble for a little yellow pill so I can breathe and get back to sleep. Actually, this year has probably been the best ever allergy-wise for both Ben and me. That dr. we're seeing is really helping, I think.
I tried to buy the girls slips today since it's going to be chilly tomorrow. I didn't want them freezing under their dresses. I just checked at Walmart but they didn't have any. So I bought them tights instead. I got home and did some internet browsing. When I was a kid I wore slips under every dress I owned. As an adult, I only do it when I'm wearing something sheer or clingy. But I'm thinking they would be helpful for warmth, too. But it was hard to find them! I finally found some on Amazon and ordered them. But it took some searching. I guess maybe little girls don't wear them anymore like they did when I was little.
Ok, back to being creative. I have a deadline!
Monday, September 3, 2012
Laboring, Injuring, Shopping, and Losing
It's Labor Day and I am...laboring. I've got a to-do list a mile long. Writing on my blog was at the top of my list!
It's fall. I remember last year thinking if I survived fall, it would be a miracle. I was so overwhelmed with all our normal fall activities, plus I had a bucket load of things to do in preparation for starting our PS-MAPP classes that Oct. I'm thinking the same thing about this fall, even though we don't have classes to take. We are needing to go through the renewal process for our license, though, so there will be a certain amount of work that needs to be done for that.
And in the fall is --football season! Will has had two games so far and I have really enjoyed them. He is playing the entire game and he is really good! It was amazing to me at the first game when he trotted out onto the field and I realized that he's one of the "big" guys now! All those other years he had teammates that were a good head or more taller than him and suddenly, Will is the one towering over his teammates. I'm trying not to be sniffly about this being his last season. Next year he'll be onto bigger and better things, but there's just something about that senior year...
Right now, though, Will is out of commission. He ended up getting a concussion in the last play of Friday's game. And we missed it - we are such bad parents! They were losing pretty bad and were down to the last minute of the game. There was no hope. We had 5 kids we needed to get to bed so we went ahead and folded up our chairs and headed back to the van. Unbeknownst to us, Will had just been tackled, stumbled over to the sidelines, and couldn't talk when he coaches asked him if he needed to sit down. We got the phone call just as we pulled into our driveway. I hurried back to the school and Will sat on a chair, glassy-eyed, dazed, and with absolutely no memory of being hit. A couple of his coaches were there and explained to me the concussion policy (5 days of being symptom-free, plus a doctor's written release). The principal came up to me and put his arm on my shoulder - such a nice guy. He strongly encouraged me to take Will to the ER, so I did.
I took him up to Blank because I am not real confident in Knoxville's ER. Will just out of it the whole time. We got into triage and the nurse was checking his vitals. She took his blood pressure. I saw her look at the screen, and then look again. Then she quickly left the room and returned with a wheelchair. She asked me to unhook Will from his cuff, sat him the chair, burst through the ER doors, and hollered, "I need a room, NOW!" I didn't know what was going on as I trailed behind. The next thing I know, a bunch of people are bustling around Will as they lay him down and getting an iv ready. What had happened was that his blood pressure had plummeted and the nurse thought he was about to faint. But then once they got him laying down the blood pressure came back up and they didn't have to put the iv in after all. Whew!
Will definitely got a good concussion. The dr. told me that this time of year, they refer to Friday nights in the ER as "Football Friday Nights" because of all the injured players they treat. We didn't get home until almost 2am. While I had been at the game, I was so tired from my busy day and my allergy pills and had been thinking that I couldn't wait to go to bed! That plan obviously got delayed.
So, Will spent the weekend popping Tylenol, sleeping, and watching football on the tv. He's doing better but he says that it still feels like his brain and body are disconnected. Paul mentioned to his mom last night that Will had gotten a concussion. The next thing we knew his dad called and demanded that we pull Will from football. Paul just ignored him, but laughed and told Will, "Your grandpa says you have to quit football!" Give me a break...
That wasn't our only ER trip this weekend. Early Sat. evening I was in the kitchen and Ben stumbled in from outdoors, dripping blood from his chin, and asking for a band-aid. He had fallen and smashed his chin on the swimming pool pump. I looked at his chin and realized he was going to need more than a band-aid. So, off to the ER we went. This time I did go to Knoxville. I don't know if I should have, but it is closer and Ben wasn't in any danger of dying, so that's what I did. I wasn't even sure if they would stitch him, but the wound did look kind of deep. We were there a long time, too, because they were busy. They're never busy! But I guess a lot of people were out having fun on Labor Day weekend and got hurt. As it turned out, they said they couldn't stitch Ben's chin because he had torn off a triangle section of skin in the middle and there was now nothing to stitch to. If it had not been for that, they said they definitely would have given him a stitch or two. So, two band-aids later, we were on our way home. I could have done that at home! Hopefully, that's the end of our hospital visits for awhile!
Paul started digging out the basement last Wed. It's actually gone very well. Poor guy - he struggled around Will's school schedule last week,only having him help in the mornings. He was really counting on having Will's help over the weekend. But then Will's noggin got knocked and that was the end of that. But he's got it all dug out now, a beam stuck through so the house doesn't collapse, and is about to pour footings. Next week he hopes to be laying blocks. I'm trying to close my eyes to the mess. I have no front porch anymore and half my deck has been dismantled. I HATE remodeling/adding on with a passion. A big passion.
I bought a new vacuum last week. Our thousand dollar lifetime guarantee Tri-star died and we found out the lifetime guarantee wasn't all that much of a guarantee anyway. I never cared for it anyway. It was a canister vacuum and way too heavy. So, upon recommendations from my Facebook friends, I bought a Shark Lift-Away. I love this thing! The suction is amazing, it only weighs 12 lbs, and it cost under $200! The best thing, I think is, and I didn't realize this until after I bought it, is that I can use it in place of a broom. It works just as well on hard surfaces as it does on carpet.
I went jean shopping Sat. I had to take the girls, but they were amazingly well-behaved. Shopping for blue jeans is about as much fun as shopping for bras - blech. I don't like jeans that bunch up at the ankles because they are too long, I don't want to pay $100 for a pair of jeans, I wanted to find something that had interesting pockets to add visual width (I have a very flat butt), and they needed to suck in my tummy, sit near my waist (without giving me a muffin top), and not be skinny jeans! That's not too much to ask, is it? I have lost so much weight since spring that my jeans from last year won't fit anymore. I had a really good Younkers coupon so I went there and I ended up buying there, even though I did check out Kohls and Penneys, too. I found what I wanted right away, which was amazing. But they were a little long. So, after thinking long and hard, I decided to have them tailored (for an additional $40 - ugh). I guess if I have two pairs of jeans that fit well and are everything I wanted then it will be worth it, considering that's all I wear from Oct. through April. I just hope I don't lose any more weight, otherwise I may have to get them tailored around the waist, too!
Speaking of weight loss - I had a dream last night that my scale was broken. I had not actually lost a pound but only thought I had because of the scale. Awful! Those of you that know me know my weight has gone up and down since Sam's birth. It's actually annoying because it requires buying two sizes of clothing because ill-fitting clothing drives me nuts. I suspect my loss this time comes from stopping my migraine medication and just the stress of this summer. I am a bit shocked that I have lost 16 lbs, though, because I am not exercising and I am eating all the same junk I normally do. I don't like how my bones stick out on my chest though - I think I look emaciated. I do like the loss of weight around my middle and in my face though - nothing like having a double chin to ruin a good picture! Now if I could just do something about my upper arms...
I'm off to Ladies Retreat this weekend. It's been 3 years since I last went, so I am really looking forward to this trip. Actually, I'd probably be happy to go sit in a damp, dark cell if it meant there was nobody calling me, "Mom" or asking for something for two whole days...
It's fall. I remember last year thinking if I survived fall, it would be a miracle. I was so overwhelmed with all our normal fall activities, plus I had a bucket load of things to do in preparation for starting our PS-MAPP classes that Oct. I'm thinking the same thing about this fall, even though we don't have classes to take. We are needing to go through the renewal process for our license, though, so there will be a certain amount of work that needs to be done for that.
And in the fall is --football season! Will has had two games so far and I have really enjoyed them. He is playing the entire game and he is really good! It was amazing to me at the first game when he trotted out onto the field and I realized that he's one of the "big" guys now! All those other years he had teammates that were a good head or more taller than him and suddenly, Will is the one towering over his teammates. I'm trying not to be sniffly about this being his last season. Next year he'll be onto bigger and better things, but there's just something about that senior year...
Right now, though, Will is out of commission. He ended up getting a concussion in the last play of Friday's game. And we missed it - we are such bad parents! They were losing pretty bad and were down to the last minute of the game. There was no hope. We had 5 kids we needed to get to bed so we went ahead and folded up our chairs and headed back to the van. Unbeknownst to us, Will had just been tackled, stumbled over to the sidelines, and couldn't talk when he coaches asked him if he needed to sit down. We got the phone call just as we pulled into our driveway. I hurried back to the school and Will sat on a chair, glassy-eyed, dazed, and with absolutely no memory of being hit. A couple of his coaches were there and explained to me the concussion policy (5 days of being symptom-free, plus a doctor's written release). The principal came up to me and put his arm on my shoulder - such a nice guy. He strongly encouraged me to take Will to the ER, so I did.
I took him up to Blank because I am not real confident in Knoxville's ER. Will just out of it the whole time. We got into triage and the nurse was checking his vitals. She took his blood pressure. I saw her look at the screen, and then look again. Then she quickly left the room and returned with a wheelchair. She asked me to unhook Will from his cuff, sat him the chair, burst through the ER doors, and hollered, "I need a room, NOW!" I didn't know what was going on as I trailed behind. The next thing I know, a bunch of people are bustling around Will as they lay him down and getting an iv ready. What had happened was that his blood pressure had plummeted and the nurse thought he was about to faint. But then once they got him laying down the blood pressure came back up and they didn't have to put the iv in after all. Whew!
Will definitely got a good concussion. The dr. told me that this time of year, they refer to Friday nights in the ER as "Football Friday Nights" because of all the injured players they treat. We didn't get home until almost 2am. While I had been at the game, I was so tired from my busy day and my allergy pills and had been thinking that I couldn't wait to go to bed! That plan obviously got delayed.
So, Will spent the weekend popping Tylenol, sleeping, and watching football on the tv. He's doing better but he says that it still feels like his brain and body are disconnected. Paul mentioned to his mom last night that Will had gotten a concussion. The next thing we knew his dad called and demanded that we pull Will from football. Paul just ignored him, but laughed and told Will, "Your grandpa says you have to quit football!" Give me a break...
That wasn't our only ER trip this weekend. Early Sat. evening I was in the kitchen and Ben stumbled in from outdoors, dripping blood from his chin, and asking for a band-aid. He had fallen and smashed his chin on the swimming pool pump. I looked at his chin and realized he was going to need more than a band-aid. So, off to the ER we went. This time I did go to Knoxville. I don't know if I should have, but it is closer and Ben wasn't in any danger of dying, so that's what I did. I wasn't even sure if they would stitch him, but the wound did look kind of deep. We were there a long time, too, because they were busy. They're never busy! But I guess a lot of people were out having fun on Labor Day weekend and got hurt. As it turned out, they said they couldn't stitch Ben's chin because he had torn off a triangle section of skin in the middle and there was now nothing to stitch to. If it had not been for that, they said they definitely would have given him a stitch or two. So, two band-aids later, we were on our way home. I could have done that at home! Hopefully, that's the end of our hospital visits for awhile!
Paul started digging out the basement last Wed. It's actually gone very well. Poor guy - he struggled around Will's school schedule last week,only having him help in the mornings. He was really counting on having Will's help over the weekend. But then Will's noggin got knocked and that was the end of that. But he's got it all dug out now, a beam stuck through so the house doesn't collapse, and is about to pour footings. Next week he hopes to be laying blocks. I'm trying to close my eyes to the mess. I have no front porch anymore and half my deck has been dismantled. I HATE remodeling/adding on with a passion. A big passion.
I bought a new vacuum last week. Our thousand dollar lifetime guarantee Tri-star died and we found out the lifetime guarantee wasn't all that much of a guarantee anyway. I never cared for it anyway. It was a canister vacuum and way too heavy. So, upon recommendations from my Facebook friends, I bought a Shark Lift-Away. I love this thing! The suction is amazing, it only weighs 12 lbs, and it cost under $200! The best thing, I think is, and I didn't realize this until after I bought it, is that I can use it in place of a broom. It works just as well on hard surfaces as it does on carpet.
I went jean shopping Sat. I had to take the girls, but they were amazingly well-behaved. Shopping for blue jeans is about as much fun as shopping for bras - blech. I don't like jeans that bunch up at the ankles because they are too long, I don't want to pay $100 for a pair of jeans, I wanted to find something that had interesting pockets to add visual width (I have a very flat butt), and they needed to suck in my tummy, sit near my waist (without giving me a muffin top), and not be skinny jeans! That's not too much to ask, is it? I have lost so much weight since spring that my jeans from last year won't fit anymore. I had a really good Younkers coupon so I went there and I ended up buying there, even though I did check out Kohls and Penneys, too. I found what I wanted right away, which was amazing. But they were a little long. So, after thinking long and hard, I decided to have them tailored (for an additional $40 - ugh). I guess if I have two pairs of jeans that fit well and are everything I wanted then it will be worth it, considering that's all I wear from Oct. through April. I just hope I don't lose any more weight, otherwise I may have to get them tailored around the waist, too!
Speaking of weight loss - I had a dream last night that my scale was broken. I had not actually lost a pound but only thought I had because of the scale. Awful! Those of you that know me know my weight has gone up and down since Sam's birth. It's actually annoying because it requires buying two sizes of clothing because ill-fitting clothing drives me nuts. I suspect my loss this time comes from stopping my migraine medication and just the stress of this summer. I am a bit shocked that I have lost 16 lbs, though, because I am not exercising and I am eating all the same junk I normally do. I don't like how my bones stick out on my chest though - I think I look emaciated. I do like the loss of weight around my middle and in my face though - nothing like having a double chin to ruin a good picture! Now if I could just do something about my upper arms...
I'm off to Ladies Retreat this weekend. It's been 3 years since I last went, so I am really looking forward to this trip. Actually, I'd probably be happy to go sit in a damp, dark cell if it meant there was nobody calling me, "Mom" or asking for something for two whole days...
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Tulips in the Snow
I made two trips to the school on Monday, attempting to talk with staff about Ben. He's in high school now, which complicates things a bit. It wasn't until I made a third trip on Tuesday that I was finally able to talk with both his new sp. ed teacher and the science teacher. After running around a bit, I settled Ben's science hour and all was well. Well, then I got a call today from his teacher and the alternative science class I had set up for him isn't going to work after all because of scheduling. Grrr - after all that! But I know Ben is delighted to be back in school. He was so excited on Monday and Tuesday just to be IN the building. He was loping through the halls, peering into classroom windows. I bet he hasn't quit smiling all day today!
I got a call Sat. from one of the mothers of one of Will's football teammates. She realized that I was not receiving emails from the coach, so she managed to track down my phone number through the middle school secretary. One of the emails I missed was to let me know parents are responsible this year for providing the new Thursday night team meals. And I was up for this Thursday night! ARgh! It's not going to be too bad, though. There are actually 4 parents assigned each week. If the parents wish, the restaurant at the Pleasantville Country Club will provide the meal for them, as long as the parents serve it. We decided to do that, which means I have to pay an unbudgeted $50, but I know I would have spent that, anyway, had I purchased food for the players. Oh, and I then contacted the coach and asked to put on the email loop!
Hours have thinned out for Paul, so he's been getting more done around here. He added onto the boys' swing set. He made a platform over the sandbox that the slide attaches to. Last night he added a rope swing. It's really cute! He made some shelves for my kitchen walls. They're designed to look like they are actually part of the cupboards. We've ordered one more base cabinet, which will extend my counter space by 24". We figured that to buy genuine granite counter tops, it will cost $1800. So, I think I'm going to go with something that just looks like granite! Today he is over at our neighbor's, though, working on the van. It is making a funny noise - probably a cv joint, he said. But he's going out of town this Friday and Sat to do a job, so I will be here alone and I'm supposed to drive to Eddyville on Friday night for Will's first game. I'm reluctant to do that unless I know that the van is not going to blow up on me en route! I am really anxious to get my Suburban (I have decided that will be our next vehicle - a 9 passenger one, I am hoping). We're saving the money right now and should have enough by the first of the year to pay cash for a used one, I think. But there is part of me that just wants to go buy one NOW and make payments! We'll do that if we get put in a position where we have to (namely, our van bites the big one) but Paul is more reluctant than I am to go into debt even temporarily. He listens to too much Dave Ramsey.
I took the Littles to the zoo last Monday. I would not have done that except that some friends were in town and asked if I had time to meet with them there. I had not been to the Des Moines zoo since I was pregnant, five years ago. It's still a big rip-off, money-wise. But Sam was so excited - it was fun to watch him.
I had a really neat experience Friday. I got to meet our girls' "other" parents. They were in a really good home for 18 months up until this spring. These people dearly love the girls and are going through the same process we are, only with the girls' biological brother. As a result, we will have reason to be in each other's lives for many years to come. They just had a baby, so I took them a meal. The wife and I have had several long phone conversations and we've exchanged some lengthy emails. They are able to fill in a lot of the gaps that I didn't know yet about the girls' history. This relationship has been such a tremendous blessing to me and a real confirmation that yes, we are in God's will, and that yes, these are the children He chose for us! When things are difficult it's easy to doubt God's call.
An acquaintance put a link on her FB page yesterday to a blog about adoption. The blog is written by Jen Hatmaker, who is, according to the site, an author and speaker, as well as an adoptive mom. Here's the link if you want to read the whole thing: http://jenhatmaker.com/blog.htm
The blog is entitled, "The Truth About Adoption: One Year Later." It's a very, very funny post and you don't even have to be interested in adoption at all to get a kick out of it. I found myself nodding as I read. Even though we did not adopt internationally, as the writer did, adoption is adoption and I could definitely relate to what she wrote. By the end of the post, though, I was fighting tears, because the author was speaking to my doubting, weary heart. I'm going to copy her last few paragraphs because it is just so good. I hope that's legal to do on my blog. I would think as long as I'm giving credit, it's ok. I even had to read this out loud to Paul last night (at 11:00 at night) and found myself tearing up all over again. I actually printed out this entire post so I can re-read it as I need it.
You’ve mothered with your hands and words, and God did the heavy lifting, just like He promised. You don’t have to be a miracle worker; that has always been God’s territory. You just have to be the ordinary disciple who says yes.
Is adoption easy? No it is not. Is this simple? Nope. Complicated and long-term. Will bonding be immediate and seamless? Maybe, but probably not. Will you struggle with guilt and fear that first year? Yes, but you shouldn’t. You’ve agreed to partner with God in some difficult, heart-wrenching work, and it’s no kum-by-yah party. Give grace to yourself; God already has.
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting through, and adoption is one of them. I can hardly think of something closer to God’s character, who is the “Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy.” Certainly, we are his difficult children who spaz out and pull away and manipulate and struggle. We distrust His good love and sabotage our blessings, imagining our shame disqualifies us or that God couldn’t possibly be faithful to such orphans.
But He is. We are loved with an everlasting love, and it is enough to overwhelm our own fear and shame and humanity. In adoption, God is enough for us all. He can overcome our children’s grief. He can overshadow our own inadequacies. He can sweep up our families in a beautiful story of redemption and hope and healing. If you are afraid of adoption, trying to stiff-arm the call, God is the courage you don’t have. If you are waiting, suffering with longing for your child, God is the determination you need. If you are in the early days of chaos, God is the peace you and your child hunger for. If your family feels lost, He is the stability everyone is looking for. If you are working hard on healing, digging deep with your child, God is every ounce of the hope and restoration and safety and grace.
Is adoption easy? No it is not. Is this simple? Nope. Complicated and long-term. Will bonding be immediate and seamless? Maybe, but probably not. Will you struggle with guilt and fear that first year? Yes, but you shouldn’t. You’ve agreed to partner with God in some difficult, heart-wrenching work, and it’s no kum-by-yah party. Give grace to yourself; God already has.
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting through, and adoption is one of them. I can hardly think of something closer to God’s character, who is the “Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy.” Certainly, we are his difficult children who spaz out and pull away and manipulate and struggle. We distrust His good love and sabotage our blessings, imagining our shame disqualifies us or that God couldn’t possibly be faithful to such orphans.
But He is. We are loved with an everlasting love, and it is enough to overwhelm our own fear and shame and humanity. In adoption, God is enough for us all. He can overcome our children’s grief. He can overshadow our own inadequacies. He can sweep up our families in a beautiful story of redemption and hope and healing. If you are afraid of adoption, trying to stiff-arm the call, God is the courage you don’t have. If you are waiting, suffering with longing for your child, God is the determination you need. If you are in the early days of chaos, God is the peace you and your child hunger for. If your family feels lost, He is the stability everyone is looking for. If you are working hard on healing, digging deep with your child, God is every ounce of the hope and restoration and safety and grace.
Isn't that beautiful? I so needed to hear those words! I don't think I have ever been through anything quite so gut-wrenching, difficult, painful, and mind-numbing as I have in this adoption journey we set out on last year. I would probably say that I am decades into this experience if I go back to when God first set the call upon my heart. But realistically, as a couple, we haven't been at this that long. And we've had the girls less time than that - 8 weeks. That's all. Feels like a lifetime, almost, though. I'm finding tulips in the snow, though. You know what I'm talking about - at least if you live around here, you do. Every few years or so we'll have a spring warm-up in February or March. The tulip bulbs start to think, "Hey, Spring has come! I'd better get to sprouting!" And they poke their heads up through the soil. After a few days we realize that the tulips have bloomed and it makes us think that maybe winter isn't going to last forever, after all. And then, a couple of weeks later, the temperatures turn cold again and the weatherman advises, "You'd better bring your plants inside!" Only you can't bring the tulips in because they're planted in the ground. It gets cold again and we have an April snow. It won't last long, but the muddy yard gets covered in a beautiful blanket of white. You look out and you see these brilliant red and yellow blooms contrasted against the white snow. It's so unusual, but so pretty. This summer has been one long winter (as contradictory as that sounds!) But just in the last couple of weeks I'm seeing signs of progress that are as surprising and welcome as tulips in the snow. It's going to work out - not fast, and certainly not with ease, but in the end, it's going to be ok.
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