Sunday, October 27, 2013

Only One Name

DIARY OF AN UNWILLING WIDOW
 

October 27, 2013

 

I’m going to write about a song that is really touching my heart right now. 

 

Music was created by God – for our enjoyment and to bring glory to Him.  That said, I’m not a total purist when it comes to music.  I like a good beat.  The kids and I have been known to dance around the kitchen to a few artists who have probably never darkened the door of a church in their lives. 

 

When we first started dating, Paul’s and my music tastes were far, far apart.  I remember he informed me on our first date that it was wrong to listen to any secular music.  I remember raising my eyebrows on the inside, but I was so crazy about the guy that I just decided to keep my music tastes to myself.  As the years went on, we kind of met in the middle.  I grew up and my tastes matured.  I developed a real appreciation for hymns and my musical tastes are now what Will referred to the other day as “boring.”  Paul, on the other hand, learned to tolerate my less-than-sacred musical choices and would occasionally belt out the lyrics to songs I didn’t even listen to.  I don’t know where he heard those!

 

One thing we both agreed on was the deplorable state of today’s Christian music.  We began noticing a trend probably in the early 2000’s in the Christian Contemporary Music movement.  Songs were becoming very, very worldly sounding.  But most disturbingly, were the lyrics.  More and more, they were no longer focusing on Christ and our indebtedness to Him.  Instead, songs seemed to have a repeating theme of how worthy we are and how we’re good enough for Jesus to save, how we are capable of overcoming any and all things that come at us, and so on – it’s a trend that is reflected in the philosophy a lot of today’s churches.  Paul and I used to attend quite a few Christian concerts when performers would come to town.  But I don’t think we had been to one in at least a dozen years.

 

But every so often, a really, really good song will be recorded and I’ll happen to catch it on the radio.  Such is the case with the song, Only One Name by the group Big Daddy Weave.  I heard this a few weeks ago and it caught my attention.  I ended up downloading it and have listened to it numerous times since.  Lately, I cannot hear it without tearing up.  The words are so powerful for me right now in the situation in which I find myself.

 

Yours will be the only Name that matters to me
The only One Whose favor I seek
The only Name that matters to me

Yours will be
The friendship and affection I need
To feel my Father smiling on me
The only Name that matters to me

 

And yours is the Name the Name that has saved me
Mercy and grace the power that forgave me
And Your love is all I’ve ever needed



The only name.

 

The chorus.  I love this part:

 

When I wake up in the Land of Glory
And with the saints I will tell my story
There will be one Name that I proclaim

 

 

When I hear the chorus I think of Heaven that is waiting for me.  I imagine a bunch of us sitting around, sharing our earthly stories.  I had never thought about that scenario before this song, but I’m positive that must happen.  There are all the Biblical heroes, of course, whose stories we already know.  But still – how cool to hear the same stories from those that lived it!  But there are the rest of us, too – normal, everyday people who simply loved God.  I’m going to have a story to share.  I can talk about my ordinary upbringing, brought up by parents who came to know Christ as adults and then determined to raise their kids to know Him too.  That takes guts and determination to change generational patterns.  I’ll be able to talk about attending a small, Midwestern Bible college and the cute, socially awkward blond who decided I was the one for him and pursued me until I agreed to be caught.  I’ll share the work of grace that began on our wedding day and the many lessons we learned as we figured out what it meant to be yoked together.  I’ll share my gratefulness to God for giving me such a loving and Godly husband for so many years. 

 

I tell about our children, about Will who was born possessing maturity beyond his years.  I might share the story of how, returning home one day, I found him on a roof with his dad when he was just a year old and how I nearly beat Paul to Heaven in the process (a heart attack).  Of course, Paul would not have been far behind me – he did not have a happy wife in that moment (“What?!”  he exclaimed – “I had to get this roof done!”).  But those toddler Daddy/son times translated into having an 18 year old who had the skill and desire to finish my house for me after his dad died.  I’ll tell about Ben who changed our family forever, who gave us a passion for the disabled, and taught us how God views us, His helpless and damaged children.  I’ll tell about David, who brought the laughter back to our family and Sam, whose birth caused his Daddy to cry in the delivery room because God had heard our plea for another child.  And then I’ll tell about our little girls – damaged by selfish parents who chose to continue generational patterns of sin and neglect, but miraculously given to us to love and nurture when we sensed our arms weren’t quite full yet.  I’ll wrap my arm around the little one we never met on earth and share how his life tenderized our hearts for the remainder of our earthly days.

 

And then I’ll tell about Paul’s Homegoing and the shattering of my peaceful, happy, and contented life.  That story has just begun so I don’t know what all I’ll have to say about that.  But I know it’s going to be good!

 

But above all, this is what I’ll say.  I will breathe a single name and all those around me will smile and nod their heads in understanding…

 

Jesus

 

He was all I needed.  He was enough.  It was His name I uttered in the darkest night when anguish twisted my heart until it bled.  It was that name I cried when new responsibilities pressed upon from every side, to the point I could no longer even think clearly.  When further hurt was added to my already aching heart, it was His name that sustained me.  When the loneliness crushed me His name filled the empty spaces.  When I couldn’t see, when I wanted to die, when life was too much to bear, the whisper of His name brought peace.

 

The only Name

 

All I Need
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

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