Lacking Good Manners

Well, it happened again - only worse this time! You may not remember, but I vividly recall venting in a past blog post about the quality of written thank you notes. At that time I was highly irritated because I had received a note from a high school graduates mother (I recognized her handwriting) thanking me for the gift for her son and then signing his name as if the graduate himself had written it.

I am trying not to be grouchy about this, but it's not working well. We sent some money to a recent grad, and this week we got a card that had "Thank You" enscribed across the front by the card maker. On the inside, in the mother's handwriting, was "for the gift. Love _____" Argh! Where do I even begin with that?! I suppose I should look at the bright side - at least we got a thank you. I cannot tell you the number of times that we have given gifts and never were given an acknowledgement. And I know that is not the reason we are supposed to give gifts. At the same time, there is a social courtesy expected from the recipient of the gift and it just grates on me when I see high school graduates (or recently married people) apparently not having the brains to be able to compose a note or the gratitude to even take the time to express their appreciation.

Is this not taught in school anymore? I can remembering laboring over pretend thank you notes in elementary school. We were instructed on the proper format of the note and then required to express appreciation for the pretend gift, issue a statement about the gift itself, or if it was money, how we intended to use it, and then wrap up the note with a warm statement. Then we used the proper ending of "Sincerely" or "Love" and signed our names. Etiquette books still say that only handwritten notes are proper, but honestly, anymore, I'd be content with an email or a phonecall. Ok, I said I was trying not to be grouchy. I'm quickly crossing the line into grouchiness, so I'd better change the subject...

We had a date last Friday night. We went to the Olive Garden. I don't think we had been there since before we moved in '04. But first, we had to go to some people's house, where Paul had a side job of fixing their AC. So, I chatted with the husband and wife for 2 hours. That's not quite true. I listened for 2 hours to the husband and wife talk. I think I got asked 2 questions the entire time I was there. Otherwise, it was all about them! I even got to look through their wedding album and wedding pictures from their son's marriage. They must have been lonely and I honestly did enjoy my time with them. But just the same, I hope I'm not that self-absorbed in 30 years.

Ben had his social skills class this past Tues. One of the girls in the class is about his age and she has obvious problems of controlling her temper. She has special needs, but I would say her biggest need is self-control. She's had outbursts from time to time when we've been there, but Tuesday she was over the top. Ben's group meets in a room with the door closed and we could hear this girl screaming in anger. I had David and Sam with me and David immediately became fearful, convinced this girl was going to come out and attack him. Sam had been busy playing, but he stopped, his little nose twitching, as he nervously waited to see what would happen next. The girl ended up running out of the room and down the hall. Different staff members attempted to calm her down. And then she came out to the waiting room where we were. I thought David was going to have a heart attack on the spot! It really, really bothered me. Three times this girl exploded in anger during class and I determined that if she did it again, I was going to march in there and take Ben home. I don't want him exposed to that obvious lack of self control. Besides, what if she attacked Ben in a fit of anger?

That ended up being it and we stayed for the rest of class. But it still bothers me to think about it. I ended up using it a teaching time for the boys, explaining to them that if this girl does not get her temper under control she will eventually probably end up in jail. We do not allow the boys to throw tantrums like that and I don't want them, Ben especially, thinking that it is ok. I understand that kids on the autism spectrum have problems with self-control. We've dealt with that with Ben and I've blogged about it before. So I'm not sure what to do, if anything. The whole purpose of that class is to teach kids on the spectrum how to handle their intense feelings in proper ways. I don't think that girl was listening. And I'm afraid that all the other kids learned more from her Tuesday than they did from the teacher.

A couple of weeks ago Ben's teacher, Mr. K, had to take a couple of days off work to go be with his mother who suffered a mild stroke. I shared with him how I'd been through that and a few things for him to watch for with his mother. I then wrote him an email because I had a question about some dates he had sent me regarding summer classes for Ben. At the end of the note I let him know that I was praying for his mother and I understood the position he was in, having responsibilities here, but needing to be available to his mom, as well. I didn't think anything of it, other than pausing at the "praying for" part. But I put it in anyway. We've got no reason to hide our Christianity just because we're dealing with a public school. When he came back, Mr. K ran out to my van one day and just repeatedly expressed how grateful he was for my note and for my prayers, especially. I think he was really touched! And that, in turn, touched me. Maybe being a witness is the whole reason Ben is in school.

Oh, speaking of strokes - my left side has been so achy and dead since I had that big mini-stroke 2 weeks ago. My face isn't quite right, my eye is straining again, and my left arm is weaker than normal. It almost makes me think I should call my dr. But what could he do? I had that MRI and EEG last summer and it showed absolutely nothing. And I'm still paying on those tests! Now that our deductible has gone up 2.5 times, I really have no desire to have more testing done, especially if it doesn't yield any answers. I have noticed that the symptoms are worse the more tired I get, so I'm pretty sure there is a connection. That mini stroke was a little odd because I got so dizzy with it and that's never happened before. But there's nothing left to test! So, I don't know. Maybe it will go away. I've been a little heavy lately on the junk food so I probably should ease up on that, too. Overall health is going to definitely affect these spells, I would think.

Well, the sky has darkened. I bet we're in for some rain, which means these kids are going to be tracking mud into the house :(

The boys have their softball games Sat. and the picnic. I dread that Saturday more than any other throughout the whole year. But, there's a possibility it may be rained out this Sat. It's going to be hard to keep from grinning if I have to tell the boys their games have been called off! Of course, I won't be grinning if I'm already out in the fields and then the skies open up, drenching me. That has happened before, by the way.

Back to my to-do list...