Bonfires, Windshields, and Nut-Job Mothers

Here is Ben this morning, after he got his ribbon!

On to more news: We went to a bonfire last Sat. at some people's house from church. Every fall our church does this. Some years we have it at a park, other years it's at people's houses. I was so delighted that Jenny brought little Rebekah. She is such a little doll and let me carry her all over the place while we were there. She can sign several words now and very definitely makes her opinion known on some things! Jenny also told me that she would be interested in coming to my moms of sp. needs kids group that meets out at Valley Church every month. Yay! But anyway, the bonfire was really nice.

We are having a bonfire Sat. night here in Swan. I'm thinking it probably won't be quite so nice! I say that because last Saturday some friends of our mayor's were setting up the haunted house and I heard one comment that he didn't know if it was such a good idea to be creating such narrow pathways through the house, since some people would be good and drunk by the time they went through it! Good grief! I know there will be drinking at the bonfire - there always is. But it's not like it's a kegger or anything! There's going to be lots of children there, for goodness' sake! There are three of us planning this event - myself and two neighbor ladies. I think it will be fun. The kids will get a kick out of it. We dug a couple of Paul's scary masks out of the shed and David insisted that I buy him some fake blood to squirt all over himself. I love Halloween - I always have. And I realize that there are some Christians that have a real problem with it and that's fine. But the odd thing is that I am starting to get a funny feeling about celebrating it so much. Do you suppose that is the Holy Spirit? We already avoid witches and ghosts, but I am starting to wonder if there's more that we should be staying away from. I kind of hope I'm wrong about this, because after celebrating it for years, the boys would not be amused if I suddenly said, "Oops - no more Halloween!"

At any rate, this Saturday will be a supremely busy. In the morning Paul is taking in Will's junked car (the one he bought to fix his first one) to the scrapyard. And then we have to celebrate Sam's birthday because he turns 4 that day! And then in the early afternoon we have to set up for the party and then in the evening is the party and bonfire. Whew - what a day that will be!

Speaking of Will's car...this Monday Paul got to class almost an hour late because he was working. He told me that he got a phone call from Will before he got there. Will had gotten pulled over by a state trooper because of his cracked windshield (you might recall that Sam fell on his windshield this past summer). We had warned Will that would probably happen at some point and just had not gotten it fixed yet, although Paul had already gotten cost estimates from several different places. We figured we were on the hook for this expense since it was definitely not Will's fault that Sam had climbed on top of his car! So getting that fixed was something we had to add in to our busy week.

So, Wednesday, we got up bright and early and dropped Will's car off at the glass repair place on the northeast side of Des Moines (Sam's Riverfront Auto and Glass, in case anyone is interested - they gave us the best price). Then, we hopped on I-235 and drove clear out to Jordan Creek mall where I dropped Will and David off. Will has a birthday coming up and wanted to peruse Scheels and get some ideas. That's because his first idea didn't pan out. He called me all excited on Monday and told me that we could buy him a ticket to a November Hawkeye game for $80 for his birthday. David had even agreed to clean out his savings account so he could go too. But I wasn't too thrilled with that idea. It would cost another $40 minimum in gas to drive out there and I'm definitely not crazy about the idea of dropping off two of my children into that college/traffic melee. Fortunately, Paul started shaking his head before I even finished telling him about Will's proposal. See - I'm not a totally over-protective nut-job mom! I told Will that was something that would be more appropriate in his college years, but not right now. I'm quite sure he thinks I'm the protective nut-job, though. Someday, he'll have children and understand...

So anyway, I dropped them off and then drove back to Valley West mall with Sam to get his 4th birthday picture taken. We did that, even though I think I irritated the photographer at Penneys. She seemed rather miffed that I refused to spend over $30 and wouldn't buy any of the special features she offered. Perhaps if she had 4 children who needed new pictures taken every year she might be more understanding...

I went and picked up the boys and then we drove back to the east side to pick up the car. And then my debit card wouldn't go through! The guy tried it 3 times and it still wouldn't go. Talk about mortifying! I told him I knew there were plenty of funds in the account and he was probably thinking, "Sure, Lady..." I finally called Paul and got his number and the card went right through. When I got home I called the bank and they said that two weeks ago my number had been stolen in a hack job out in Pennsylvania. So, when any charges originating in PA came through on the account, the bank refused to pay them and locked the card. That happened on the third for a charge of $169. I was pleased that they had done that, but do you think it might have been nice if they had LET ME KNOW??? A new card is on its way now, I guess.

After we got the car Will headed to Norwalk. Paul had gotten a call from the landlord of one of the apartment units he services. Somebody's heat was not working. And, of course, being on call, Paul is just swamped this week and unable to get to any of his outside jobs. But Will was able to go over and get the furnace going! I was so proud of him! I wonder what they would think if they knew a sixteen year old had fixed their furnace?!

It looks like we will not be heading to Council Bluffs this year for hunting weekend. Paul has found a number of people at church wanting to form a hunting party, so they are just going to stick around here and do it. I have mixed feelings on that. On one hand, it will be nice just to stay home. Any time I have to pack us all up for a weekend away, it's a real chore. But, that particular weekend is always a bit fun because Kathy and I usually go Christmas shopping and I do lunch with my friends, Gloria and Esther, from our old church. Guess it's time to make some new traditions. It will be kind of fun to cook for the guys. I know they get cold and hungry and I can't stand the thought of them hunting on empty stomachs so I can certainly make up a bunch of food for them to eat in between stalking the four legged idiot animals that roam the woods around here...

I had better get the rest of my house picked up. The neighbors are coming over tonight, as I mentioned, to finalize up the party plans. And our mayor is coming over to work on my desktop. It suddenly quit recognizing our mouse this week. It's got some other problems, too. I am fearful that we are going to have to replace that soon. I hope not - it's not even quite 4 years old. Our last desktop lasted 8 yrs. Of course, this one cost 1/3 of what we paid the first time around, too. But, a replacement computer is definitely not in the budget right now, either!

Off to tidy!

Update

Yes, I know it's been a full two weeks since I last posted, but I have been BUSY!!! We are up to our eyeballs in adoption stuff right now (more on that later), it got cold this week and Paul just happens to be on call, so he's been AWOL from home all week long, I spent 2 days in Waterloo last week, Sam's birthday is this Sat, as is the town Halloween party that two neighbors and I are planning and executing. Also, I'm trying to learn my new job of city clerk, Will is still playing football (last game is tomorrow), today was Special Olympics for Ben, and we're getting all kinds of things done on that house. For example, we moved the washer and dryer to the basement. I now have a dining room again! But I also have some holes in the walls and some painting to do where the laundry area once was.

Other than that, I just don't know how to fill my time!

As I mentioned, today was the Special Olympics bowling event in the Des Moines area. Ooh, what a madhouse that was! But Ben did well and left with a first place ribbon! I am so thankful to his coach, Maureen. Ben's practices were on Monday nights. But our adoption classes are on Monday nights. So Maureen has not only been picking Ben up from school on those nights, but she would bring him all the way back to our house, which was an extra 20 min round trip for her. She did that just so Ben could get a full practice in! And today Ben's aide drove all the way up to the north side of Des Moines to watch Ben perform. And then she insisted on taking him out for lunch before they headed back to school. She told me that somebody recently commented to her at school that she has the "best job" in the entire school because she gets to work with Ben all day. Isn't that cool?

Our foster care/adoption classes are going well. We had our third class this past week. We've had one couple drop out. We just keep getting more and more paperwork to do! They want to thoroughly vet us, I guess. I heard yesterday that several of the references we provided just received long questionnaires to fill out about us and then they are asked to provide other references to tell the state about us! I feel kind of bad about that, that they are having to do all this paperwork for us. Our first home visit was this past Tuesday. Our case worker is actually one of our teachers, too. I haven't decided if that's in our favor or against us! Paul didn't make it home for the interview, but that was ok. I spent all day cleaning, which was good because she asked for a tour of the house! There's a few things we need to take care of, like installing another hand rail, some carbon monoxide detectors, and hanging another door on the bedroom, but it's minor. She told us to go ahead and start getting a bedroom ready, which I think must be a good sign (!). Of course, it is hard to say how long it will be before a child is actually placed with us, though. She thinks it would be best if we used the big bedroom upstairs. So we are going to move Ben and David to the basement and we'll tuck Sam's bed underneath Will's loft. Then when (if) he leaves for college in another year and a half Sam can just have his bed. I need to find a bed, mattress, and dresser for our new daughter. And we have just got to replace that bedroom carpet. We don't really have the money for all that, but it would be silly to not replace the carpet while we have the furniture out. Maybe we can find a remnant piece at Menards or something. Our next visit will be on Nov. 15. At that meeting, we are going to be questioned about our marriage, losses we've experienced, and the boys will also each be interviewed. At the meeting this week, I was asked about my views on education (I homeschool - suppose I have a few views?!), some of my own history, and things like that. It was very non-threatening but I still found myself physically shaking during it! More and more I am finding myself really ok with the possibility that we may be given a child we have to give back at some point. Adoption is still my primary focus, but if we have to do foster care for awhile, it's ok. I mean, I know there will be things I won't like about it, such as being more of the "caregiver" rather than the parent. But I am slowly seeing all of this as part of a bigger picture that God is painting. And, you know, it's hard to say what the timetable on all this will be, too. We may rush, rush, rush and get the paperwork done, the room all ready, the approval stamped,...and then wait and wait and wait for a child. Who knows?

Well, what else is new? I am hobbling around on a broken toe and sprained foot. I was in Waterloo last week, jumped up to help Ben, and ran smack into the wooden leg on my parents' loveseat. Oh, man - that HURT! I couldn't believe just how painful it still was the next day and began to wonder if I had broken my foot or something. So after we got home, I drove back to town and went to Urgent Care where they took x-rays. I did break my little toe and they said my foot was severely sprained. So, I got this orthopaedic sandal thingy to wear since my foot was too swollen and painful to wear a shoe. By the second day of that I had really bad cramps going up my calf! But a 75 yr old friend at church brought me a different sandal she had from her foot surgery because she thought the one I was wearing looked too small. It was, but it was the biggest one that the clinic had. I like this one a lot better. It has a little heel on it, and that took care of my cramp problem. Now I'm just waiting for it to heal.

Other than my accident, I had a really nice couple of days up north. Matt and Kirsti were in town. So, I got to hang out with Kirsti quite a bit. She drove me downtown to pick up a copy of my marriage license that I needed for the adoption. I couldn't believe that we didn't have a copy of that thing! But we didn't. And I got to run over and see Sara for a little bit. She's popping out with the baby. This week the dr. moved her due date back by a day, but I bet this is a late February baby, anyway. She turned 40 yesterday, which kind of cracks me up, too!

Well, I have more to write, but I need to get some more work done around here, first. So, I'll be back in a little bit to post more.

Blessings and Fears

This is me this past Monday night - our first PS-MAPP class. Wow is about all I can say. What a night! They pack a whole lot of information into a little session. One down and nine to go. Within two weeks we will have our first home visit and by the first of December we will have had a total of three. They sent us home with reams of paperwork. I was up until midnight working on mine last night and still didn't get done. They want to know seemingly everything about your childhood and entire life. I had to fill out lengthy questionnaires on each of the boys. They, themselves, have paperwork to fill out. Now I'm trying to gather our references. Argh - too much! And there is a part of me that keeps whispering that in the end, we will be rejected for some reason.

And if we don't get rejected, I feel almost certain we are walking into a certain amount of pain. Maybe not. But the feeling persists. But then I keep turning to this one particular song. It's called "Blessings" and is sung by Laura Story. It came out this summer and I absolutely love it. I feel like it's really speaking to me for where we are now and from where we have been, such as during our difficult times with Ben. I've been listening to it a lot lately. Here are the lyrics:

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things


'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise


We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe



'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise


When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home


'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

If you want to listen to it, here's a link. The melody is absolutely beautiful, too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ This past Sunday the 43 year old mom in our church who has terminal brain cancer sang it for special music. Our pastor got up afterwards to preach and couldn't because he was so choked up. It's a very special song.

On the other hand, potential pain notwithstanding, I am starting to get kind of excited. We may have another child soon! My friend Kim, who lives in Texas, was given her first placement last week - 3 days after completing her PS-MAPP classes! It can happen!

Oh let's see, what else is new? Oh, speaking of children...my friend Sara delighted me last week by finally letting me know she is pregnant. On the 18th of this month she'll find out the sex of the baby and on the 19th she'll turn 40! We've been trying to get together for a couple of months now and it just hasn't worked. So that's why she hadn't told me yet. Her news just made my day last week. I am filled with such joy for her family. Babies are a blessing - even if you are forty!

My friend Emily got married last Saturday. I served in her wedding. They had a full meal so I scooped potatoes for quite awhile. I also served drinks and made hors d' oevres plates. It was a beautiful autumn wedding. Unfortunately, just like the wedding we attended in late May, a grandparent of the bride died 3 days before the wedding!

My second Jewels of Encouragement post went up last week. Here's the link: http://www.jewelsofencouragement.com/2011/09/far-more-than-football.html I wrote about football and Will and the Christian life. My posts will now be appearing the 27th of every month. That means that I have an actual deadline every month and it's coming up next week!

I also have to get another Swan newsletter cranked out this month, plan the town's Halloween party, get costumes ready, do all this adoption stuff, get ready for Sam's birthday, and other things. Plus, I am spending hours up at city hall, learning the clerk's job. Pending the council's approval this Thursday night, I am planning to take the clerk's position starting in January. I'm not crazy yet, but it may happen before month's end...

Monday night Will had a JV game. We couldn't go because of our class. But one of his teammates broke his arm during the game. Will said it really turned his stomach to see that arm cocked at such an abnormal angle. Nasty! I'm just thankful it wasn't Will, which sounds kind of awful!

I took the boys in yesterday for the required physical for the adoption. Will didn't have to go because he just had one in August. Ben is up to 112 pounds, which is great! David weighs 88 and is just shy of 5' 1". Sam is 41" tall and weighs 40 lbs on the nose.

Sam just insisted I listen to him tell me the entire life cycle of a butterfly. How does he know words like "chrysalis"? He also told me about the butterflies flying to Mexico in order to get nectar. It must be PBS, because I sure haven't taken the time to teach him things like that! I'm amazed!

Well, I need to get dinner going so I can take Ben in for his allergy shots as soon as he gets home and then we can rush home, eat, and get to church tonight. Patch club is going well. I keep bribing my kids with homemade treats and they are so good for me! One of the moms says she is going to call me the "Sugar Teacher." I just like making them happy!

Oh, and by the way, we are special (underlined 3 times) people. I let Ben's aide know our adoption plans this week since I had to take him out of school to go to the doctor. She wrote me such a sweet note in his notebook regarding it. I don't know about special - "called" maybe. But what if it doesn't work out? Will we still be called then? I think that's a post for another day!

Finding Some Joy

My busy week is over - what a week that was! But I got everything done that I needed to. The youth group came over and we had a nice time with them. We'll do this again next year, for Will's last season of football. After they left our house around 11pm, they all headed back to the church for an all-nighter. I don't know how those youth leaders do it. I could never stay up all night long!

I had quite the time of it towards the end of the week with some of my personal possessions. On Thursday I was leaning over the washer, pulling out some wet clothes when my cell phone slipped out of my pocket and into the 5 gallon bucket of homemade laundry detergent I keep on the floor. Not good! Fortunately, I had hung onto my previous phone and was able to get service transferred to that. Then, the next day I lost my keys. It's like a key fairy - demon is more like it - came into our house and whisked them away. We have looked absolutely everywhere for them and they are nowhere to be found. So today I went to town and got copies made. How utterly frustrating!

We went to Council Bluffs on Saturday. The whole weekend was kind of discouraging on a number of levels. The wedding reception was the most joy-less one I think I have ever attended. We were sitting there and I asked Paul, "What's wrong here?" He kind of shrugged but said he felt it too. Later that night we were talking and we finally pinned it down to the utter lack of joy on anyone's part. It was like the families involved were just playing a part. It was bizarre and sad. I guess that's what happens when you don't do things God's way.

My focus this week is getting together the papers we need to go forward with our adoption application. We have to have them all in by Oct. 15 - things like our marriage license, dog vaccine records, signed dr reports on all of us, etc. We also have to make a decision by then whether or not we're willing to take an HIV baby/child. I guess I don't have a problem with it. I think the only danger with HIV is in the case of mixing blood. Because of that we'd have to be a little more careful, but there's a big difference between HIV and AIDS. But maybe I should do a little more research on this first. I spent this morning trying to find our marriage license - to no avail. I know we got a copy after we first married because I had to have it to get my Nebraska driver's license. But I have no clue what happened to it. I called the Black Hawk county registrar's office and they said I could pick one up from them - in person - for a $15 fee. So I guess I'll have to do that. Fortunately, I am going up there anyway in a couple of weeks when my brother and family come to town. So that will work out.

Sam came to us last week and announced that he wanted to make a "lever." He went and got a couple of thin boards but was then having trouble figuring out how to attach them. Paul and I just looked at eachother - was this really OUR child? He's only 3! His vocabulary, which has always been good, has just exploded even more in the last couple of weeks. He's becoming quite the chatterer. Yesterday, I overheard someone at our old church ask him, "Does your mom call you 'Sam'?" Sam replied, "Yep - and I call my mom, 'mama' 'cuz she likes that when I do that!" He has been quite cheerfully wetting his pants lately. As he told me matter-of-factly the other day, "I just don't like to come in the house when I'm busy playing!"

Ben got a brand-new bowling ball last week from Special Olympics. We had figured out that the reason he was having trouble bowling was because his hand is so large - but his frame is so thin. For his weight, he can only handle a 10 lb ball. But the span on a 10 lb ball is smaller. So they ordered this ball for him - Ben got to pick it out - and then specially drilled the holes for him. I'm hoping he really can become a good bowler in time. I'm not in favor of the smoking ban in all Iowa businesses (except casinos - follow the money trail on THAT one!) but I do have to admit it is nice to be able to go into bowling alleys now without inhaling all the smoke that used to swirl around inside them. Ben's bowling event is on Oct. 20th.

Well, I had better get started on dinner. Pretty soon I'll have to go pick up Ben from practice. Will's game got cancelled tonight, which is nice. He said it probably had to do with lack of players from the other team. Some of these smaller schools have a hard time putting together JV teams. It's kind of raw out there this afternoon and I'd just as soon spend it indoors, anyway!

Blue Blood

I realized it has been over a week since I posted, so I thought I'd do that tonight. Plus, I'm experimenting with moving pictures around in my blog, so I can kill 2 birds with one stone - hopefully.

This is a picture of Paul and me from last night. We ended up going to an Andre Rieu concert here in town. We hadn't planned to go. Paul had called a couple of weeks ago and found out that ticket prices started at $47, which seemed a little pricey. In fact, just a week ago we had commented to eachother that for that kind of money, we could spend the night in a hotel away from the kids! But then Tuesday, I got a call from Clear Channel radio telling me that I had won two tickets to the concert! So, I called Paul to let him know that Sat. was going to be a date night and while we were talking, he got a call from Clear Channel letting him know that HE had won 2 tickets as well! We had signed up at the state fair last month. What are the odds of THAT happening? Well, actually, as the week wore on discovered a few other people in my circle of acquaintances had also won tickets, so I'm guessing the odds were pretty good!We're kind of assuming that they were trying to fill up the auditorium and gave Clear Channel many tickets to give away. We gave our other set of tickets to a friend of mine and her husband.

I actually wasn't too sure about the concert. My tastes are more plebeian in nature (you might remember how I referenced a rather crass Toby Keith song in my last post!). I can stand to listen to classical music for a short while, but the yawns kick in if I listen to it for too long. And then as we were walking into the concert I got a little more nervous because I saw all these white heads going in - it was sure to be a snooze fest!

But it was amazing! I never knew classical music could be so much fun! At one point they dumped "snow" on some of the audience and balloons fell from the ceiling later in the program. The 2 1/2 hours just flew by. I could have easily listened for another 2 1/2! So who knows - perhaps we are classier folk than I realized!

I don't have a lot to report on from last week. This next week will be a busy one, though, that's for sure. Friday night, the youth group is attending Will's game in Pleasantville. Then, they are traipsing over to our house for food, then back to the church for an all-nighter. So, you know what I'll be doing all week long! Yeah, I see some definite cooking and cleaning in my future! We have been told that at last count, they are expecting 25-30 kids to come over. I'm wondering how they are all going to fit into my house! Will and I hammered out a menu this week. Tomorrow I shop for the food and then I guess I'll be cooking for rest of the week.

Next Saturday, the day after the youth event, we are headed to Council Bluffs. Paul's nephew is getting married and, while the wedding is taking place at the courthouse, they're having a big reception afterwards. I would be more excited if the bride and groom hadn't been living together for the past two years and didn't already have a child together. Yes, it's good they are doing the right thing, but I'm thinking a quieter, more intimate wedding would be more appropriate, under the circumstances. We are going for Paul's brother and wife because we really like them and want to support them. I know they are relieved that their son is finally marrying his girlfriend. So, we'll show up, give them some money, eat some cake, and spend most of the evening sighing, hoping against hope (and praying) that our children make better choices when they reach adulthood.

I found out this week that I am going to be writing regularly for Jewels for Encouragement. I figured that was the case, but it was nice to get the official say-so on it. My posts will show up the 27th of every month, but I'll put a note here so that you all can view them if you want to.

Life is speeding up, even faster than it was, if that is possible. I looked at the calendar and realized that we do not have a single Saturday free until maybe in November. Wow! And that's the month with two birthdays in it. I think I had better be taking my vitamins! And guess who is planning the town's annual bonfire/Halloween party this year? Yep...the people who normally do it don't want to. So, it was going to be scrapped. I know the kids really look forward to that every year and it's so good for neighborly unity. So, our city clerk and I are taking it on this year. I'll let you know how that goes!

I ordered a manual this week in hopes that it will help David with some of his learning problems. I am just convinced that he has both a visual/motor brain processing delay, as well as an auditory processing problem. I remember when he was 7 and we had him evaluated by the AEA that they did dx him with several learning delays. I kind of brushed the whole thing off since their solution was to bring him to school every day for reading class. That kind of defeated the whole purpose of homeschooling and it took him until he was 9 1/2 before he learned to read, but he did learn. And he's actually a pretty good reader today. But he has some other areas of struggle. They're not terrible and he's really a pretty good student. But they aren't getting better and I'm afraid that if we don't address them, they could have life-long impacts on his learning and eventually his vocation. We have a learning center in Des Moines that I have often wished we could take David to, but I know it's frightfully expensive. My chiropractor told me how he and his wife spent over $30,000 there getting their son's difficulties taken care of. We can't do that. But I did run across this manual in a magazine and finally ordered it recently. Now I'm studying it.

I was kind of encouraged last night while talking to my friend who met us at the concert so we could give them our extra tickets to find out that she is using the same materials with her daughter. It helped to validate my decision to spend $65 that we really could not afford right now. The book came and I was kind of disappointed at how small it was, but I'm reading it now and trying to gain an understanding of the exercises I'll need to do with David in order to re-train his brain. If it works, then I think I'll do some of it with Ben, too. I'm thinking that I need to get David on some specific vitamins, too, to help his brain function better. I'm kind of excited because David is such a creative boy and I know he's capable of so much more than what he can express right now. The manual explains that when you have a processing disorder it's like there is a wall between the right and left sides of the brain. The exercises in the manual help create a "bridge" to cross between the sides.

Well, tomorrow is my shopping day and I need to get some things ready for that, along with cleaning up the house. Will dumped a pile of laundry in front of the washer and informed me that it is all stuff that needs to be washed and dried by tomorrow's game. I've been thinking that it is past time that that boy learn how to do his own laundry. What do you think?

I'll probably write again in a week or so, post-youth group activity and wedding, so I'll have some things to report on. I'll probably be exhausted!

Memories

Another sniffly Saturday...sure will be glad when the frost hits and these allergies are no more!

Well, let's see, another week has gone by and I've got a few things to report on. Patch Club started this week. That is something our church does on on Wed. nights for the elementary school kids. Our pastor's wife called me this year to ask if I'd help. I was thinking, "No, no, no!" but found my mouth saying, "Ok!" But the first night went fine. I've got the kindergarten through third graders. I had 8 this past Wed. And it actually went well. Of course, I bribed them with candy. Kids will do about anything for sugar.

Last Sunday my friend Julie got saved. It was wonderful! She and I have been walking together once a week and emailing back and forth since last March. Her family started attending our church last fall and I figured out pretty quickly after I got to talking with her that she was not saved. So I've been praying and explaining things as she asked. Last Sunday during the final hymn Julie turned to me and asked for a tissue because she was crying. Church ended and I was cleaning up the pew and she was just sitting there, still. And I'm thinking to myself, ok, what should I do now? Do I leave her alone or say something or what? So I finally tapped her on the shoulder and asked, "You ok?" She bursts into tears, grabs onto me, and says, "I'm tired of fighting! I'm ready to get saved!" So my mind instantly started whirling. What to do now? Do I find the pastor's wife? Do I do this myself? So I finally asked, "What do you want to do?" A couple other women in the church had reached out to her recently so Julie asked me to get them for her. I found a room for us and when everyone got in there, Julie gave her life to the Lord. It was wonderful. I can't even remember the last time I was part of something like that. It's been almost a week and I'm still rejoicing!

Well, how to segue from that to something else? Well, I do have other good news, but it's not nearly so important as the above. I got 7th place in the most recent FaithWriters Challenge. Here's the link: http://www.faithwriters.com/wc-article-editors-previous.php?id=40666 It had been SO long since I had placed that I had kind of given up on it. I thought maybe I had lost my touch. So getting that was a real encouragement to me this week! This one will be published. The basic premise of this story was one that I actually wrote over a year ago for another challenge entry. But there was some problem with the billing on my account and I wasn't able to enter that week. Well, I thought I had saved the piece when we wiped out my computer this summer, but I discovered that I had not! But I was able to take that idea and re-write it to fit the topic. The story is primarily a conversation between a mother and her grown son. But there's a little "twist" at the end that makes it kind of interesting.

I mentioned a week or so ago that a devotional I wrote for the Jewels of Encouragement blog was going up this week. Here's the link to that one: http://www.jewelsofencouragement.com/2011/09/wisdom-in-whirlwind.html I got some really nice compliments on this one. I'm anxious to write for them again!

Oh, and speaking of writing, Will is back to blogging. He had decided to abandon his blog and just do his writing in the form of notes on Facebook, but I suggested that he also post his notes to his blog, because I know he had readers who don't Facebook. Here's the link to his blog:http://runningtherace-sportsandlife.blogspot.com/

I sold my buffet yesterday. This was my massive, 6 foot long one I've had out in the back room for the past 7 yrs. It was with a pang that I let it go, but I needed the space more than I needed it. The lady that bought it called me at 8:30 in the morning to ask if she could come down and look at it. Oh my goodness - I wasn't dressed, the house was a mess, and the buffet had seven years worth of stuff in it! I managed to get it unloaded, vacuumed out and lemon-oiled. But I couldn't do much with myself or the house. And of course she was one of these young, cute moms - made me feel decidedly dowdy when she showed up. And they asked to use my bathroom - it was on my list to clean it yesterday, but I hadn't gotten that far at 8:30 in the morning! But I did get to hold her 3 month old who slobbered over me. He got fussy as they were loading the buffet so I swooped him up. It was blissful!

Sam decided to learn how to button and unbutton his clothes this week. It only took him a day. He was recounting that to me today and also reminded me that he now wipes his own bottom. I praised him and said, "Oh, you're getting to be such a big boy!" "Yeah, " Sam agreed, but then sighed, "But I still can't write my 'A's'"! I've started trying to teach him some writing skills and it is coming along very slowly. He'll get there. I'm actually surprised at how much he is already able to do for not even being 4 yet. But then, he hangs around with teenagers all day long. I guess some of that was bound to wear off on him!

This morning Sam wanted to know where his dad and Will were. I told him that they had gone to fix Will's car. Sam cupped his face in his hands and exclaimed, "But I broke the windshield!" I was surprised he even remembered that. He added, "I might do it again!" I told him to just stay off the hood of the car and it shouldn't be a problem!

Well, tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of Sept. 11th, 2001. Everyone seems to be pausing to remember that, which is good. When Julie and I went for our walk this past week, Pleasantville had placed flags all along part of the walking trail. I remember that Tuesday well, as I'm sure everyone does. It was a beautiful, sunny, late summer day in the Midwest. I had just dropped Will off at school and I had Ben and David in the van with me. We were sitting in the parking lot of Center Baptist Church in Omaha. I had a MOPS steering committee meeting and was just waiting for the others to arrive. I was listening to the Christian radio station when the announcer came on and said there had been a terrible accident - a plane had flown into one of the Twin Towers. I didn't think a whole lot of it until a moment or two later when the suddenly stopped playing music and announced that another plane had hit the towers and this was no accident. I remember that the head of Grace University (who sponsored the radio station) then came on and said that he suspected that some guy named Osama bin Laden was behind these attacks. When he said that I remembered a Readers Digest article I had read some years earlier that suggested that bin Laden was the greatest physical threat to the United States. I didn't really know what they meant by that and of course, nobody would ever attack the United States! But it all came back to me when I heard this college head suggest this.

I remember at the meeting that we had to tell the pastor's wife what had happened. She hadn't heard yet. Afterwards I drove to Paul's work. I just felt this need to gather my loved ones around. I called my mom, to make sure that my brother, who flied (and still flies) frequently for his job wasn't on those planes. I called the school where Will attended. They told me I was welcome to come pick him up, but I didn't. Wanting to do something - anything - I called the blood bank to see if I could donate. All those injured people were going to need extra blood. I got home, turned on the tv, and didn't move for the next few hours. I sat there, along with all of America and the rest of the world, in stunned disbelief and grief as the images from New York, the Pentagon, and Shanksville, Pennsylvania aired. I cried when the entire congress gathered on the steps of - where were they, actually? Anyway - they stood there together and sang, "God Bless America" and it seemed to me to be the single-most united act I had ever seen in my lifetime.

And I remember the next day, driving Will to school when all of a sudden I felt this fierce patriotic pride surge through my being. The day before had been about grief. Now, it was about pride. Nobody can keep the United States of America down for long. That's why I have come to appreciate Toby Keith's song "The Red, White, and Blue" where he personifies the country as having a "big, black eye" from this event but turning around to give the bad guys a "boot in the ____."

I don't know if we're any safer today. I don't know when the next attack will come, if it will. But I do know that ten years later, I still tear up when I think of the events of that day. I don't even cry when I think about the days my own babies were born. But there's something about 9-11...

So, anyway, that's where my thoughts are as we come upon this anniversary. Ten years later, I am still so patriotic and so in love with this country. My boys, who were little guys then, are now big guys. And while I find myself praying for the Lord's perfect will in their lives and futures, I have to admit, that if one of these boys donned a uniform and went to fight for this great nation - I think I'd nearly burst wide open from pride.

September...the month of memories...

Heeding the Call

For a few months now I've been asking for prayer as we sought God's will on something. I'm ready to blog about it. I'm going to give two versions. The first is the "nutshell" one, the second is the mini-series one. Depending on what you have for time, you may want to go with the first!

Version 1) We believe God is calling us to adopt another child. Things are moving fairly rapidly on this and more than likely, we will be new parents again this next year.

Version 2) When I was somewhere around the age of 12 I read a Readers Digest condensed book about a soldier who fell in love with a little girl in an orphanage while in Vietnam. After the war, he moved Heaven and earth and was able to return to Vietnam and adopt the little girl. Her new family named her "Kim," I remember. I was so moved by that story that I decided right then that when I grew up I would someday like to adopt, as well. I never forgot that and when Paul and I were dating I informed him that if we were to marry I would like for us to consider adoption at some point. He was agreeable.

Well, we did marry, of course, and the babies came quickly for awhile there. Adoption was the farthest thing from my mind during those busy years! But then infertility struck and after awhile, we began talking about the possibility of finishing our family by adopting. I even made a couple of phone calls - one to an adoption agency and another to an organization that provides temporary and permanent housing for children in need. But the time wasn't right and I didn't know where to go next, so we just dropped the idea. And then, eventually, Sam came along and I had the stroke and my days became more focused on survival as I fought to overcome the effects of the stroke, care for a newborn, and deal with Ben, whose behavior was beginning to take some alarming downward turns.

But I never forgot about adopting. At the same time, though, I assumed our family was complete with the arrival of Sam. After all, the doctors scared us into getting a vasectomy so I knew we wouldn't be birthing any more children - even though we had totally planned to have a fifth in order to give Sam a sibling close in age. As time passed a drumbeat began resounding in my heart about the possibility of adoption. Every time I would read a story about the subject, my heart would constrict. I felt jealous when I learned of others who had adopted. Hearing testimonies about adoptions would nearly drive me to tears.

But there are a lot of good reasons for us NOT to adopt. And I reminded myself of these reasons over and over. But the drumbeat wouldn't go away. So, finally, in the spring of 2010 I prayed. I remembered that Sam had come about as the result of a "fleece" prayer I had prayed in the winter of 2007. If God could so clearly show His hand then, couldn't He do it again? I told the Lord that I would completely zip my mouth in regards to the subject of adoption - not that I brought it up that regularly, anyway - but if God wanted us to pursue this, then He needed to have Paul come to me and bring up the subject. And so I became deliberately mum on this subject. Not one word about the possibility escaped my lips.

And then last December 9, Paul and I were on a date. We were eating and he suddenly reached into his billfold and handed me a little post-it note. On it was the name of an adoption agency. That day he had been in a customer's home and had noticed that she had children who didn't "match" her in looks and asked if she was adoptive parent. She confirmed this and she and Paul ended up talking for a very long time on the subject. Here was my sign! And I was excited. For about three days...

And then all the doubts came rushing in. I knew we couldn't afford an international or private adoption. Yes, God could provide the money, but would He? I wasn't too keen on the idea of begging our friends and family for the funds, either, especially when we already had a houseful of children. It seems like most months we're barely scraping by when it comes to finances, so what we were doing even thinking about adding another child that we would be financially responsible to care for? And then what about time? I live in a whirlwind most days, running from one activity or chore to the next. Having more children would make that even harder. My work load would increase considerably. What about Ben? Things were so rough in our house until he started school. He was so happy going to school which calmed our household down, which, in turn, made all of us happy again. Did I really want to take a chance on disrupting that? What about my writing? It's hard enough finding the time and quiet to write what I do. More children would make that harder. And so on - I came up with many, many objections to what it seemed God might be calling us to do.

While all these thoughts were swirling through my head I slowly began to find myself considering more and more the idea of providing foster care to a child in hopes that we might be able to adopt it at some point. I had always been very opposed to this idea, though, because I know a couple of families that had to give their adopted children back once they got into adolescence. These children were never able to overcome the abuse and neglect of their early years. I also couldn't stand the idea of loving a child and then having to give him back because some relative crawled out of the woodwork or a birth parent cleaned up their act. Did I really want to deal with the emotional baggage a foster child would probably have? The answers were no, no, no! What I would like to do is to come up with $25,000, fly to some foreign country, and bring home a cute, cuddly little girl, who would love me forever. But slowly, my resistance to the idea of fostering to adopt began to crumble more and more.

April rolled around. I had been nearly completely silent on the whole idea of adoption since the previous December. One day Paul asked me, "So what are you thinking about this? You haven't said anything!" I told him my thoughts. I told him that I was scared to death to love a child that might never be capable of loving me back. I could invest years, energy, money, and love into a child that might turn around and stomp all over my heart someday. But even as I said that, I immediately was given a vision of Christ dying on the cross. Isn't that what Christ did for us? He opened up His arms wide in love for the whole world and look how He was rejected. Am I called to do anything less? Paul then said something that made me think. He said, "You know, life is so short. If we can make a difference in someone's life, I think we ought to consider it."

Mother's Day came. I got my usual gifts from the boys and then Paul handed me a small package wrapped in pink, girly paper. I didn't know it at the time but apparently he had bought this gift with a certain amount of trepidation. He told me later he was fully prepared to take it back if I reacted badly! I opened it up and it was a small, pink photo album that said, "Baby Girl" across the front. That was a little puzzling, since we have neither! Inside was a letter that he had written. Peppered with Bible verses to back up his points, Paul wrote that he was committed to doing whatever it took in the next year for us to adopt a little girl. At that point, my defenses crumbled. I started crying and accepted the reality that we were, indeed, going to pursue this.

For the next few weeks, I lived in a state of confusion though. I had agreed to explore the possibility of adoption. But how? Where were we to even start? I explored the international websites and was dismayed by the cost of an international adoption. On some of the applications it appeared that my stroke history might make me ineligible. I could probably figure out how to get the ball rolling on a foster care adoption, but I still didn't know who to call. I remember thinking that I just wished God would drop a baby on our doorstep, so I would know what to do!

About this time, we got a brochure in the mail for the upcoming homeschool conference. I looked through the offered workshops and one caught my eye. It was entitled simply, "Adoption - a Calling." I knew nothing about it, other than the title. I thought I could relate to the title because it seemed like this was indeed a "calling" that we were experiencing. Paul arranged to get off work to attend the seminar with me and we went. It was taught by a couple from the Fort Dodge area. We had never seen them before in our lives. They started the workshop by giving a brief overview of the four different types of adoption - international, private, foster care, and relative adoptions. And then they told their story. This couple has adopted close to 19 children, I think, nearly all of them out of the foster care system. They have one biological child, a little boy born the same month as Sam. I was transfixed by their story. Afterwards, Paul and I stayed and asked this couple question after question.

As we left the room, finally, I told Paul, "I think our family is about to get a little bigger!" But then I added a few minutes later, "But I don't want twenty children!" Paul exclaimed, "Good! Because I don't, either!"

The next day I was wandering the curriculum hall, buying materials for the boys. Suddenly, I stumbled across a booth emblazoned with the name, "Iowa KidsNet." I had just learned the previous day that this was the organization that headed up the foster care and adoption services in the state of Iowa. I talked with the lady there. And I talked with her some more. And some more! And then I called her the next Monday and talked with her again! The first step, we learned, was to take an orientation class. Unfortunately, due to funding cuts, the classes were hard to get into. But she got us into a class that supposedly was full.

The night before we went to this class, we met with our pastor. We both really wanted to get his input into this. I honestly half expected him to tell us that we were nuts. We had enough on our plates and we would be insane to bring another child or two into our home and add to the chaos. But he didn't. He looked at us and told us that he thought we could do this. He said he wouldn't tell that to just anyone, but he had observed us for the past 6 1/2 years, saw the way we parent, and was confident that if God was indeed leading us this direction, we could do it. Wow!

About a week previously, Paul had gone up to camp as a counselor. While he was there he ran into my parents' pastor from Waterloo and asked to speak with him. A number of years ago this pastor and his wife adopted a sibling group of five out of Iowa foster care. So he was able to have a nice long chat with this pastor. And then he spoke with the maintenance head at camp, who I went to school with. He and his wife added a sixth child a few years ago through foster care. They told him both the same thing - there will be struggles, but the reward will be worth it.

We went to the orientation class and came away greatly encouraged. I suspect that the orientation class is an attempt to "weed out" the parents that might be tempted to do foster care for less than stellar reasons (the state does pay a stipend per child per month). We met a couple there who was in the process of renewing their license. They had completed the training 4 years earlier and ended up bringing home a baby girl from the hospital less than six months later, adopting her when she was a year old. But now they wanted to add to their family. I'm not holding out for a newborn, but wouldn't it be something if that's the way it worked out for us? We were fingerprinted at the meeting and turned in reams of paperwork so background checks could be run on us (they came back clear!).

We found out later this summer that the classes we need to take in order to become licensed were full and few and far between. We finally got into a set that would not be beginning until late January. It was a little disappointing, but I reasoned that God had His hand on this and if we needed to wait, then there was a reason. Besides, there's the not-so-small matter of having a bedroom ready for another child. Our plan is to move one or more of the boys down to the new basement, building a room down there, and thus freeing up one of the upstairs bedrooms. And that's going to take a little bit of time. Well, I then got a call two weeks ago letting me know that an opening had come up and we could begin our classes on Oct. 3! We will complete them on Dec. 5th. During that time, we will have our home study and once we're licensed in Dec, we can begin taking children.

My desire, though, is for adoption. I do not have any intention of having a stream of children come through our home. However, we may not necessarily get to adopt the first child that is placed with us. I'm making it very clear to the powers that be that we want to adopt and would prefer to have only children who will soon be available for adoption placed with us. But I'm not sure how much say-so we will have on that.

So this is our news. Am I excited? Yes. Am I apprehensive? Oh yes! I know that we are taking a tremendous risk by opening our hearts and home to a child who has been already been hurt by those that were supposed to protect them. All my previous objections - time, money, resources - are still factors. But this is the thing: they don't matter. When God calls you, everything else falls by the wayside. Will we sacrifice to heed this call? Of course. Will we lose things we might have kept otherwise? There's no doubt.

And, I have to keep in mind, too, that just because we have come this far on the journey and the end appears in sight, we may never actually get another child. There is a possibility that God has been simply calling us to obedience, like He did with Abraham when He asked him to sacrifice his son. Time will tell. Throughout these months, the one thought I have returned to time and time again is this: I don't want to get to Heaven someday and have God look at me sadly and say, "I had so much planned for you - if only you had obeyed."

So, whether I'm on the verge of becoming a mother of one more - or several more - remains to be seen. Whatever happens, though, I know that I have the confidence that we are stepping out in perfect (or in my case, inperfect) faith and obedience. Wherever we end up will be the center of God's will.

And that's a good place to be.