The title is a description of my old life...but these days I ramble on about widowhood, homeschooling, single parenting, adoption, special-needs parenting, & living a life I never planned for or expected - a life that God, thankfully, continues to strengthen & equip me for daily...
Sunday, September 20, 2015
September 20, 2015
It's beautiful out today - cool and sunny and my
allergies aren't bothering me a bit!
I really don't have a lot to report this week.
I did get both my articles written last week, which is a
relief.I'm still hanging onto my RBP
article.I don't like it as well as I
like the one that's coming out next month on Paul's death.I have a word limit and so I felt like I had
to just skim over things I would reallylike to have gotten more in depth on. It's choppier than I prefer, too.
I'm hanging onto it right now because am waiting to hear back from my
editor.I had to ask her just how firm
the word limit is.The Writer's Guide
says one thing and the contract I signed said another.When I hear back from her I'll send it to
some friends for editing before I submit it for good.
I have to make a bunch of phone calls tomorrow.
* To Thred Up...an online consignment store.I'm thinking I will probably never order from
them again.Last Spring I ordered a
white cardigan for Lizzieand they sent
a gray one.I keptit anyway.Two weeks ago I ordered some size 10 loafers for Ellie and they sent me
size 7s.I have left a message and I
have emailed twice and nobody will get back to me - very poor customer service.
*The Des Moines Register - who failed to deliver my
Sunday paper today
* The Marion County News - a small announcement in this
week's paper mentioned that the paper is shutting down Sept. 30.Since I just paid for a year's subscription
in May I expect them to give me a pro-rated refund.But they're not answering their phone either.
Sigh...I really do not have time for any of this.
Two little girls in Ellie's preschool class have the
names, "Tatum" and "Beckett."I've heard of "Tatum" before but
it's still kind of unusual.I've never
heard of "Beckett" for a little girl, though.
I think parents are getting nuttier with names.Now they're ignoring phonetic rules.A friend of mine has a new great-nephew named,
"Drace," but pronounced, "Drake."Another friend teaches preschool and told me
she has a little boy named, "Cien."She was at a loss of how to pronounce it until she was informed it
sounds like, "Ke-on."Why are
parents so awful to their kids like this?
Preschool is going great.Ellie is completely confident.I
walk her in, she hangs up her coat and bag, takes her folder out of the bag,
and doesn't even turn around - just gives me a backwards wave and says calmly,
I guess I'm not needed.
The other two arestill adjusting.I think Lizzie
is doing fine.She's starting to mention
the names of other little girls more which I hope means she is developing some
friendships.I'm still having a lot of
behavior issues with her at home but I'm hoping they're just
sleep-related.I moved her bedtime up to
8 every night and it does seem to be helping.
Sam has become very concerned about his reading.It's difficult for him to do a lot of his
work because he doesn't have a real firm grasp on reading yet.I emailed his teacher about this and it
sounds like they are on top of it, thankfully.They just did some assessments this week and she told me that the kids
are supposed to be able to read 59 words a minute.Sam could do 15.But she reminded me that Sam has not had the
same type of reading instruction as most of the kids have since
kindergarten.So there's bound to be
some catch-up time involved.But, they
are putting him in a smaller reading group (4 kids) and then he'll be working
one-on-one with a reading instructor every day as well.On top of that, his teacher is going to send
home a list of sight words for us to work on (she said 100, which concerns me -
do they not do phonics?).She said she
could tell he's had "heavy phonics instruction" because of how he
tries to sound out words.
We never did get through the last half of Sam's first
grade reading material so I asked his teacher if it would be helpful to work on
that here at home and she thought it would so now I am trying to squeeze that
in every night, too.
The poor kid had quite the injury week at school.He got hit in the nose with a basketball
during P.E. which skinned it up.And of
course, he can't leave scabs alone so it's been bleeding off and on since and
he has to wear a band-aid over it, which looks real classy.
Then, he repeatedly rubbed his back on a section of his
desk chair and came home one day with blood marks all over shirt from where he
had rubbed his back raw.
And then Friday he mangled his finger in his locker
But despite all that, I really do think he's having fun
at school.It sounds like the boys all
play together at recess well.He's been
bringing his football and tee.I thought
it was cute that he told me some of the boys wear "shirts with squares on
them," jeans, and cowboy boots and he wanted to go for that look,
too.We actually have a pair of boots
someone gave us (that I threw in the toybox for dress up - my boys have always
dressed more athletically than cowboy-like) and Sam dug those out.He has several short-sleeved plaid church
shirts so he picked one and a pair of jeans and Friday he sure felt good about
his outfit!In fact, he's told me he
wants to dress this way for birthday pictures.I will have to find him some plaid flannel shirts for fall and winter.
My van needs a new radiator.I've had a slow leak for a few weeks now and
I took out Friday to a guy at our church's house.He's told me repeatedly he wants to help me
keep my vehicles going, so I'm going to believe him!He thinks I'll be ok for a few more weeks as
long as I keep a close eye on my coolant levels, which I've been doing since we
first noticed the leak.This will give
him time to get a couple of other vehicle repair jobs wrapped up and since
he'll need my van for a couple of days I need to get serious about looking for
and buying a second vehicle.I told him
I intend to pay him for his time, as well as the parts, since this will be a
time-intensive job.He didn't argue with
The other night I actually got my act together and we ate
supper as a family.I have a hard time
with that esp. when Will isn't home.Family meals around the table have been a lot harder to manage since Paul's
death because I just feel especially aware of who is missing.When Will isn't home, it's even harder.Plus, it's always easier to serve up supper
from the stove!But I have to remind
myself that someday, in the not-too-distant future, all the big boys will be
gone and it will be just the Littles and me.I need to get used to a fluctuating table.
Speaking of that, every Sunday afternoon, Arien comes
home with us and we eat lunch together.I am loving these times.We do eat together then and it's loud and boisterous (too loud,
actually) and giggly and - I really like it.I find myself even more anxious for the future when I'll have more
family members - married-ins and grandchildren.Back when I used to envision the family I always wanted to have, it was
times like these that I imagined - lots of food, lots of family, lots of noise,
and lots of love around the table.Of
course, Paul was always part of the picture, but I guess we don't plan for
Anyway, the other night I got dinner to the table after
the kids set it and to my surprise David had set the red plate at my
place.I don't think we've done the red
plate since before Paul died and about I cried as a result.Many, many years ago Paul's mom bought all
the girls in the family this red plate from the Hallmark store that says,
"You are Special Today."I
guess the idea is to pull it out for birthdays and other special
occasions.Well, every so often I'd
start bringing supper to the table and I'd find that Paul had randomly picked
someone to have the red plate.Then,
before we'd pray, everyone would have to say something they appreciated about
the person who had the red plate and then his meal prayer would specifically
mention that person.We used it for
birthdays, too, but it was always more special on the ordinary days it showed
So there was the red plate again, after more than 2 years
in its box.I sat down and David
instructed his siblings, "Now, you all have to say something you like
about Mom!" and it was nice to hear the praise coming the lips of
I think that plate is going to make more of an appearance
from now on.We are still a family, even
When I was at the Ladies' Retreat last weekend I walked
into the chapel that first night.Ladies
were starting to make their way to the seats and a couple of men were up on
stage setting the mood with a guitar and keyboard.I looked at the men and my stomach
lurched.I immediately ran to the
bathroom where my heart pounded for a minute or two.
It couldn't be...it wasn't...but, I wished it was.
The keyboardist was a middle aged white man with a close
cropped beard and no hair on the top and very little on the sides.He was about 6 foot, not quite 200
pounds.He had on a navy polo shirt.
In other words, he looked a lot like Paul.For several years, the Lozier uniform was a
I was fine -no
tears.I made it to my seat, after
hyperventilating (notreally) in the
bathroom for a minute or two.I watched this
guy and the more I did the more differences I found between him and Paul and I
was not uncomfortable at all with him up there.It was just that initial, momentary look that took my breath away.I don't know if that has ever happened