Sept. 6, 2015
Day 824
It's been...a week.
It's been hard and we're still adjusting. It probably wouldn't seem that bad but my
allergies have been awful, which means I'm short on sleep, my eyeballs feel
like they have sand in them, and my nose is prone to spontaneously erupting into
a fountain. I've had migraine like sinus pain for days now. I can't wait for the first frost...
I have found myself missing Paul more this week but I
know it's because I don't feel good.
I've been at this widowhood thing long enough to know that when I feel
lousy, the missing-him feelings intensify.
Of course, the biggest thing this week has been the
commencement of school for Sam and Lizzie.
Well, Ben and David started, too.
It's old hat for Ben and David is home, as usual.
Monday morning, Sam crawled into my bed at 4am, so
excited he could hardly sleep. I was
having difficulty sleeping because of the allergies. But I managed a little bit. I had my alarm set for 6:25 and at 6, Sam
exclaims, "It's 6:00, Mom! We have
to get up!" I never did get back to
sleep after that.
As we were getting ready that morning, Sam picked up his
Bible and asked if I thought he should bring it to school. I asked him why and he replied so that if
anyone tried to teach him something that wasn't true, he'd be ready to show
them the truth! Maybe I've done too much
warning to the kids in advance of school?
I assured him he'd be fine to leave the Bible home...but then he told me
that afternoon when I picked him up that his teacher read a story about
dinosaurs, purporting the 3.5 billion year theory. First day!
Ugh.
The kids were nervous, but there were no first-day
tears. We prayed in the van before I
walked them into school. When I picked
them up that afternoon they were full of stories.
The next day they rode the bus for the first time. I introduced them to the bus driver who has
been driving Ben for years now. He made
the comment, "So, you're sending them to public school now, are you? Well, up until now, you've sure done a good
job with your kids!" I stewed on
that all morning. Was he merely complimenting
me, or was he saying that until now - until I
made this poor decision - I had been a good mom. But now, it was all downhill? I still don't know.
When the kids got off the bus that afternoon, the first
thing they had to tell me about were all the new swear words they had picked up
on the bus. Ugh. I had forgotten about that part of public
school. I remember now being so shocked
as a second grader when I first attended public school. Little kids know some nasty words and aren't
hesitant about sharing their knowledge.
If that was true in 1978 when I went, I can only imagine what it's like
now. So, we had a conversation and I
imagine there will be a number of similar conversations in the days and months
to come. Sigh...
By the third day Sam had informed me he was the
"third goodest" in his class.
Not sure which was more appalling - his pride or grammar. He has also declared that he now has a
"best friend" named Xavier.
Not sure if Xavier knows he has a best friend or not, but I guess we'll
see!
Lizzie hasn't been so quick to report on things at
school. She says everything is going
fine and that the girls are being nice to her.
Her teacher emailed me on Tuesday, saying Lizzie had cried at school
when asked to write her letters. I guess
she couldn't remember how to make some of her lower case ones. When she got home, she accused me of
"not teaching" her them, but I know I did! Sam's teacher said Sam also got teary-eyed
one day this week, when asked to write.
I guess he was frustrated with himself, as well. But she has an aide in the classroom and once
the aide assisted him, he was fine again.
Both teachers were quick to respond to my emails this
week and they both sent home a weekly update on Friday. I found this encouraging, that they seem to
want to be in contact with the parents.
Lizzie's teacher commented in hers that she had to tie an awful lot of
shoes on gym day and asked parents to please teach their first graders
how to tie! I was relieved that Lizzie
does know how to do that.
Ellie had her open house for preschool last Thursday
evening. Her school begins this
Tuesday. She has been so excited for the
start of preschool, chattering about it nearly
non-stop. So, I was surprised
when we pulled up to the church where it is held at, and I opened her door, to
see that Ellie had tear tracks down her face and more brimming in her little
eyes.
"I miss Lizzie!" she sobbed into my leg. I think that loosely translates into,
"I'm scared." I told her,
"You know, Jesus will be with you when you go to preschool." Ellie looked at me and exclaimed, "No,
He won't - He's dead!" Guess she
missed the other half of that story...
But she warmed up once we were inside and after a little
bit, she was willing to play with the toys, although, she did not seem to want
me to go very far away.
But, I reminded myself, this is normal. Not normal was when I handed her off to the
nursery the first Sunday she was in my care, on her first birthday, actually,
and she didn't make a peep. Her sad little
eyes just accepted the transition. I
remember thinking to myself, "This isn't right." A normal, attached child will fuss at least a
little bit when Mom walks away. But I
wasn't Mom yet then. I was just one more
adult in a long line of ever-changing caregivers. It wasn't but a few months until she did
start to protest when I would drop her off in the nursery and it was relieving
to know that she was attaching to me.
So, even if she cries this Tuesday morning in earnest, it's ok. I remember dropping Ben off for his first day
of preschool. It about ripped my heart
out. He was screaming bloody murder,
flailing his legs against the teacher who held him, and stretching his arms out
to me. It took every ounce of willpower
for me to walk out that room that fall day.
I knew he was where he needed to be.
Ellie is different.
I've never believed preschool to be necessary for the typical child,
which she is - I think. But I also
believe it will do her some good. It
will do ME some good, which is a consideration as well.
I found out that Ellie got into the morning class, which
is what I wanted all along, but it didn't sound like that was going to
happen. They have 13 in both the morning
and afternoon sessions. And, we got a
full scholarship, which is an answer to prayer, too.
While we were at the preschool, Ellie asked me to read
her the names of all the students, which were printed on this chart. One little boy is named,
"Stealth." I have never heard
that before. Why would a parent
name their child that? It isn't even
like it's a good character quality (unless they grow up to be a spy).
The other day I suggested to Will that he could name his
first son, "Kinnick," after the Hawkeye stadium in Iowa City. An older lady who writes a column for the
Pville newspaper ("My Two Cents Worth" it's called) has a great
grandson with that name which is the first time I've heard it. I kind of like it and with Will being such a
Hawkeye fan, it seems like a good choice.
But Will said that was "weird." I guess he's too much like his dad - likes
tradition in names.
****************************
Last Monday I was sneezing (of course) and I pulled or
pinched a muscle in my neck. The pain
has been unbelievable. I finally went to
the chiropractor on Friday and he helped, but it hasn't relaxed all the way
yet. So I had that to deal with on top
of the allergies. It was so awful I
couldn't sleep at night without the help of an Advil PM. I did not know sneezing could cause an injury
like that.
The kids went to the dentist this week. I happened to mention to David on the day of
the appointment that he had one and he stopped in his tracks and exclaimed,
"Why didn't you tell me?" I
said, "I just did." And he
went on to tell me that no, he needed advance notice so he could start brushing
his teeth on a more regular basis.
Eww. I'd like to think he already
does that.
But his teeth were fine.
Both Sam and Lizzie, however, have two cavities. And Lizzie has to go to Iowa City on Oct. 5
for a consult with an orthodontist. The
dentist had recommended this to me last Jan, but I didn't sense that urgency was a factor then. I mean,
she's only 6. If braces are in her
future, surely they would be a ways off yet. He told me this week to not waste any time in
getting this appointment. Her permanent
teeth are a royal mess, he says. They're
obviously crooked in the front and the dentist said she's got permanent teeth
growing in behind other permanent and baby teeth. So, there's that.
And then, Sam's two front teeth have grown in in an
inverted "v." The dentist
suggested that I have him place a popsicle stick behind them every day for 10
min. and press against the teeth. He
said they may straighten out doing that, but they may not, either.
Sure hope those investments of mine do well...sounds like
I'm going to be lining the pockets of orthodontists for awhile.
****************************
I am a very good mom.
At least I was yesterday. The
kids had wanted to visit a "real" pool all summer long. One day in August we had tried to go to the
Carlisle pool but it was closed, even though, according to their website, they
should have been open. I felt terrible
for the kids that day.
Most pools close around the time school starts, but I had
done some research and found out that the Ankeny aquatic center is open through
Labor Day. My thought was to go one day
this week, but when I called up there, I found out that they are only open
weekends now that school has started.
So, since tomorrow is supposed to be rainy and cool, I knew our only
chance to go would be yesterday, when it was 95+ and sunny out. Even though I felt terrible with my
allergies. That's where the "good mom" part comes in.
So we went, and it's a really nice place, which is why
they probably get $7 a person for admission.
Their big thing there are the waterslides, but I didn't want to do any
of those with my neck already in so much pain.
They do have a lazy river and I enjoyed that quite a bit.
I spent most of my time in the splash/wading pool with
Ellie. Since Ben and David were off on
the slides and the Littles were playing, I was alone with my thoughts and
observations for quite awhile. The pool
is a good place to people watch.
I noticed a few things.
There were a number of black children - with white parents. I still don't see that all that often when
we're out and about. But it makes
sense. Ankeny has an exploding
demographic and all the residents are in higher income brackets - just to
afford the housing, if nothing else. I
mean this water park we were at is built in a beautiful new addition. All the houses are made to look similar. They actually look a lot like beach houses in
New England - clapboard siding, cupolas, "beachy" colors, a lot of rock
on the foundation, etc. None of them are
mansions, although they are decent sizes.
My guess is that they start in the $300,000 range and Will laughed when
I said that and said, "Um, try half a million, Mom."
Wow. I can't even
imagine.
But, anyway, families who could afford houses like that
could afford to adopt internationally, which might be some of what I was seeing
with the black children. I wanted to
strike up conversations with the parents but I wasn't sure how to do that. Some kids were black, black and it's safe to
assume they probably came from Ethiopia or Ghana. But others had more medium shading, like my
girls, and I didn't want to assume they were adopted. It would be embarrassing if they were
actually just mixed and I said something about adoption to their mothers. So, I kept quiet and nobody approached me,
either. I did notice that both Lizzie
and Ellie zeroed in on these children and struck up conversations with
them. I'm going to have to do something,
sometime, about the lack of diversity in their lives. But not today. Ellie saw one little girl with corn rows and
beads and suggested I ought to do her
hair like that, too. Sure thing.
But most people there were white because, after all, this
IS Iowa. I amused myself by watching
them and reading their tatoos. One girl
had tatooed above her pelvic bone, "First you live and then you
die."
Duh.
One guy there had a man bun, which is an instant turn-off
for me. If that wasn't bad enough, he
had hoops strung through both his pierced nipples and a ring between his
nostrils. It made me reflexively put my
hands protectively to my chest. Why do
people want to do that to themselves?
Eww, eww, eww...
And I noticed a ton of belly button piercings on women
(thankfully - that would be weird on a guy).
I don't know that I've ever seen so many. I didn't realize that fad was still
happening. A number of them had shiny
jewelry hanging down from their navels but I guess I've been a mom for too
long. I could only wince as I imagined a
toddler grabbing onto that jewelry and yanking.
I remember years ago my cousin relating to me how she had hers pierced
and then as her pregnancy increased the stud suddenly popped out one day. That still makes me laugh to imagine that!
One really overweight guy was in the kiddie pool and he
was wearing denim shorts with a belt.
Ellie wanted to (loudly) know why he wasn't wearing swim trunks. I was just trying to imagine what wet denim
must feel like against his legs. And a
belt, too? But maybe he would have lost
the shorts without it.
The kids had a good time and I told them we'll go again
next summer. I'm sure I will enjoy my
time of observation all over again.
************************
I made some rasin oatmeal cookies this week, which are
almost all gone now. Sam enthusiasticly
told me last night how much he "loves your raisin cookies, Mom!" Then he continued, "You know what you
should do? You should make them again,
only instead of using raisins, make them with chocolate chips. That would be really good!"
In other words - make chocolate chip cookies, I think!
*****************************
I imagine this week will go by pretty quickly. Tomorrow is Labor Day, which means I get to
sleep in, if the kids let me. I have a
list of things I'd like to get finished before day's end.
Will and I are going to pay a visit to US Cellular this
week and see about upgrading our phones.
I'm feeling the need for a smart phone so we'll see about that. Yes, a need!
And then, Friday is Ladies' Retreat up at camp. I haven't been there in 4 years. I'm looking forward to it and hoping my allergies
don't make it too miserable. I think
I've got everything worked out as far as child care goes and I'll be able to
head out for two days without needing to worry too much.
************************
Oh, it looks like Will may have a new job. He has to do a "lift" test this
week as a requirement for employment. It's a warehouse job so I guess
they need to see if he's able to handle heavy loads. He's in the prime of his existence, so I
don't imagine he'll have any trouble.
This job just sounds ideal, though.
He can pretty much set his own hours and the pay is nearly double what
he's been getting at Sportsmans.
This past Friday was Ben's first time assisting the
football team. I didn't go to the game
because of the heat and my allergies.
But I guess he's retrieving the tee after every kick-off. He has his own jersey and everything. The coach asked that Will sit with Ben and
assist him. I asked Will if it felt good
to be on the bench again and he just nodded and smiled in a beautific way.
He's meant to be a future coach.
Of course, I have no ideas of the twists and turns Will's
life may take yet. And there will be
some of those, no doubt. But right now,
it appears things are falling into place for him in so many areas. God seems to be opening doors and revealing
paths previously hidden. As a mother, it's kind of exciting to see
these things. It's really cool to watch
your child step into adulthood and to know that things are going to be ok.
I didn't screw him up too badly.
One down...five to go.
.
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