August 2, 2015
Day 789
Another Sunday is in the
books...well, it will be as soon as I get the Littles to bed, anyway. I got a nap today, which was nice. But that means I will probably be up late
tonight.
Tomorrow is my once-a-month
shopping day. Yuck. And, to make matters worse, I have to take
all 4 kids home right now with me. But,
I'm trying to look ahead to next month when I may only have Ellie. And, with any luck, she can stay home with
David!
Only two more weeks until all
my chicks are home. Will called last week. He's ready to be done with camp. He's outgrowing the desire to work there,
which is fine. Of course, David is
growing into the desire to work there.
He will be home this Friday and it just occurred to me yesterday that I
have no idea how he's getting home. I
wonder if that means I will be making a four hour round trip up to Clear Lake
to retrieve him? I hope not. He leaves a week from tomorrow at 6 am for
his missions trip to inner-city Detroit.
He texted me briefly
yesterday to let me know he'd had a wonderful time at Sr. High camp last
week. Camp is so important. There will always be room in the budget to
send the kids. Always. I was so torn because I wanted to text more
with him but I was meeting friends at Burger King that I hadn't seen in several
years and they were waiting on me.
And that was awesome. I got to see my friend, Laura, her sister,
Jackie, and Laura's 18 yr old, Derek.
Laura and I have been friends since kindergarten but I haven't seen her
since her last trek to Iowa, over four
years ago. She was enroute back to her home near L.A. I am trying to convince her to move back to
the Midwest and I think she's wavering.
I just need to apply a little more pressure, I think!
And then, I could not believe
it, but our friend, Lani, whom we both knew from third grade on, drove two
hours from LaPorte City down to Ankeny just so she could have lunch with
us. Bless her heart. I haven't seen Lani in 6 years, although she
called me a few weeks after Paul died, which meant so much to me at the time.
Even though I had my four
neediest kids with me, it was still such a blessed time of connecting and
fellowship. I don't know about that adage that claims, "old
friends are the best friends" because I have some newer friends that are pretty
precious to me as well. But there's
something about somebody who's seen you through your dumb playground
adventures, remained friends with you despite middle school haircuts, lived
through your crushes with you, and has rejoiced and mourned through all of your
adult ups and downs.
******************************
I forgot to mention in my
last post that Sam's glasses had another adventure. His glasses have been found...on the ground
in the yard, on the swingset, on the basement floor (many times), under the
furniture, on the woodpile, in the van, on the driveway, in the mud room,
behind his bookshelf, in his blankets, behind the toilet - just to name a few
places. The last day of our trip, the
glasses were nowhere to be found. I had
the kids go check the pool area and we looked in the lost and found at the KOA
store, but didn't see them. I figured
they were finally gone for good and planned to take him to America's Best and
shell out some money for new ones (that preferably come with staples I can nail
to his skull). I started doing some
laundry when I got home and when I unloaded the first load to dry, guess what
was sitting in the bottom of the washer?
Not a scratch on them, either.
*********************************
I have to do my city clerk stuff this week - water
billing and getting ready for the council mtg Thurs night. I also have to make some phone calls and find
out what my options are for a resident who absolutely refuses to keep her dog
tied up. Last night that mutt chased Sam
on his bike and he was so frightened he ended up wiping out and got a skinned
knee. He wasn't supposed to be out bike
riding, which is another story, but the whole incident really raised my ire. I have had
a lot of complaints about this dog and I've sent a letter and the owner
refuses to do anything. I also have been
asked to find out warranty information on the city's six year old swing
set. I think I already know the answer
to that question! But I'll call anyway.
I suppose my ears are more tuned to this kind of news,
but it seems lately, like I've heard an awful lot of stories of city clerks here
in Iowa getting arrested for embezzlement.
I know exactly how it happens. In
these little towns, of which Iowa is majorly comprised, there is very little
oversight into what happens in clerk's offices.
Cities are supposed to be audited every ten years but I don't know if
that happens or not. I've only been on
the job for 3 years, so I guess I have 7 years to see if it really happens.
Clerks are responsible for entire funds of their cities and it would be easy to
divert some of those monies into cash or personal accounts. I'm so aware of this in fact, that when I
took the job and had my keys made up, I bought key covers to keep the keys
separate and I put a blue cover on the one that opens my office because blue is
the symbol of honor and I tell you, every single time I open my office door
with that blue-capped key, I think of that word.
Anyway, I was just appalled this week when listening to
the news. One clerk here in the state
received 5 years probation for her crime and has to pay back only the portion
of funds she stole that is not covered by insurance.
What??
Why is she not responsible for the entire amount? I understand the city was reimbursed up to a
certain point already, and maybe there are laws prohibiting aquiring
restitution that ultimately results in more than the original amount of lost
monies. I don't know. But if that's the case why couldn't she be
required to pay back the full amount and have the excess funds go back to the
insurance company that had to pay out?
I assume this clerk lost her job, but she's still coming
out ahead, financially, if she doesn't have to pay back every penny she
stole. Shaking my head...
*****************************
I've been using essential oils for about a year and a
half now. I'm not a fanatic about them
by any means. I'm not selling them. I still pop Advil when needed. But I think they're a good thing. My medicine ingestion and that of the kids'
has dropped quite a bit. We don't get
sick like we used to and I think that's because in the colder months,
especially, I'm pretty faithful about applying certain oils to our chests to
ward off germs. I have such an oral
aversion to a lot of other health stuff - vitamins, shakes, and stuff, but I
can rub oils onto my skin. Some people
ingest them but I've tried that and just can't do it - the whole oral thing
again.
The FDA is cracking down on the industry and other
natural health companies and soon it's going to be illegal to have some of the
question/answer websites up that are there.
I'm not sure what the new rules will entail, but I was even told it's
going to be hard to get your hands on reference books eventually because of increased
regulation. So I went ahead and spent
almost $50 this week on an essential oil reference book so I know what to use
for which ailment. That arrived
yesterday.
Anyway, one oil I've been using for months for my
perimenopausal symptoms is called, "Progessence Plus." Love, love, love this stuff. It soothes out my agitation, lessens the
other symptoms, and just makes life easier all around. I was using it last week and Lizzie wanted to
know what it was for. I told her it was
oil that would help me "not be cranky."
She replied, "Oh." And then a moment later said, "I think
you should give some to David."
Bwah-ha-ha-ha!
********************************
I read an absolutely fascinating book this week entitled,
"Runaway Amish Girl" by Emma Gingerich. She has a blog by the same title, which
popped up on my news feed. I checked it
out, was very interested, discovered she had written a book, and found that
Amazon has a lending library for its Prime members, which meant I didn't even
have to buy the book.
I found the story riveting. For awhile I was really into the Amish
Christian romance books. They tend to
portray the Amish in a pretty favorable light and rarely venture into some of
the more grittier aspects of that lifestyle.
Emma's book tells it like it is.
And it isn't even like she was raised in an abusive home in any
way. But it was lacking so much and left
her wounded, as a result.
She's one of 14 children.
Her father was, by her account, kind of lazy, which seems unusual for an
Amish man. He had these grand plans like
buying flocks of sheep and then the kids would end up being responsible for all
of them after he lost interest. Her
mother was continually busy and didn't have a whole lot of time for nurturing
her children, which isn't encouraged all that much in the Amish community. Emma found herself chafing against the many
restraints of Amish life as she grew older.
It wasn't that she necessarily longed to be an, "Englischer"
(someone not Amish) but she couldn't understand all the nonsensical rules
imposed on the community. Everything
they do is motivated out of fear of displeasing God - the "Good Man"
they call him. The Good Man doesn't
approve of buttons and the Good Man will send you to hell if you wear perfume
and rule upon rule upon rule. Church
services last four hours and are not even given in the German language most
Amish speak. So they're
nonsensical. Nobody owns a Bible except
the church leaders.
Children are not educated very well. School stops at 8th grade and what they do
learn is a far cry from what is taught even in the poorest of our public
schools today. History is not taught at all because it is deemed not relevent
to the Amish. Emma asserts that the poor education is
a deliberate attempt to keep the children from leaving the community.
Kids and young adults know absolutely nothing about
procreation. Evidently, they do figure
it out at some point, since they do keep having babies. They even have a dating tradition where
teenagers who like each other are expected to sleep together in the same bed -
but not to have sex. Although, if they
don't know what that is, maybe it's not a problem. Of course, if they do figure it out and end
up pregnant, then maybe it's another way of ensuring that they remain in the
Amish community.
Well, eventually Emma left. She enlisted the help of an outsider who did
business with her father and he found an ex-Amish family willing to take Emma
in. Now she's in college pursuing a
graduate degree. The best thing is that
she was led to the Lord after she ran away.
The concept of grace was so amazing and so unheard of in her life until
then and it's really a sweet part of the story.
Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this story and wished it
was a longer book. So far, Emma is the
only one of her siblings who has left the Amish, but maybe others will follow
her, eventually.
*****************************
I sold Paul's freon this week.The price was dropping and
I knew I needed to get it sold. About 16
months ago I had been given the name of an HVAC owner of a local company who might be interested. I put off and put off calling him. I finally did it this April and he expressed
interest. And then he never called me
back. So, I called him again in June and
he was saying, "Oh yes, yes, I meant to call you. Tell you what - I'll call you
back." This week I'd finally had
it. He obviously was not that
interested.
So I checked on Amazon and put the freon on Craig's List
for the lowest price that Amazon is selling it for. Unfortunately, it's dropped quite a bit in
price even since April when I first checked.
I got several texts and calls from people wanting me to sell it for even
less. I don't think so. Will called me and said the camp was willing
to take it as a donation and give me a receipt for a tax write-off. If it came to that, ok, but I'd rather have
cash!
But a guy from Omaha called me and just happened to be
coming to town the next day and was willing to buy it all without quibbling on
the price. He wanted to meet at his
hotel and I told him I wasn't comfortable with that (I watch too many news
stories) and suggested we meet in a mall parking lot and he was fine with
that. He was perfectly nice, but I had
my mace in my pocket, ready to go, just in case! I also made all the kids get out of the van
during the transaction, just in case he wanted to try any funny stuff. I thought maybe he'd be less inclined if he
saw my crew!
So, that's a relief to have that taken care of. And it frees up some space in the garage,
too.
***************************************
There are some neighborhood kids who have suddenly
"discovered" my
kids...unfortunately. Not all of
them live here, but they're being babysat here.
It's a situation where two grown
daughters keep having children out of wedlock and then they pass them off to
Grandpa and Great-Grandma (who live together) to watch while they work.
I'm really trying to not have a bad attitude, but it's
been hard. They remind me of
locusts. They descend upon my house
wanting to use the pool, play with my kids' toys, and demanding food. I find myself so stressed. I've finally begun to limit their visits to
about an hour and a half and I've gotten quite stern with them telling them
they're rude to ask for food and they may not come back after I've sent them
home for the day. The second they come I
start watching the clock and when it's time to go, I loudly announce playtime
is over and it's time to leave. my. house. Now.
Lizzie says I sound "rude" but these children are oblivious to
hints. I know, because I tried that the
first day or two. I made one of the
little girls cry the other day because she refused to apologize for spilling
nail polish on my table. Her brother told
me she's "shy" and doesn't like to talk to adults. You know what - I don't care! If her parents are not going to insist that
she learn proper manners, then I will - or she can go home. She hasn't been
back. I probably scarred her and
arrested her development.
They started bringing a three year old with them and I
caught him running around my house with one of my girls' lipsticks - argh. And then I caught him trying to climb into my
pool, which gave me a heart attack. He's
too little to be in that thing without a full floater suit and
supervision! Our town does not require
pool owners to have a fence so I don't think if something happened any
litigious action would get too far, but I don't want him to drown, either. I sent him home and explained to his siblings
that a three year old is too young to be leaving home and I will not be
responsible for him. He came back
yesterday and this time he sat down in my yard and refused to budge. So I marched up to the grandparents' house
and explained my dilemma to them. They
said, "Oh, he's not supposed to leave our house!" But yet, it wasn't an hour later and I saw
him playing in the street, blocks away from Grandma and Grandpa's with his
siblings and cousins.
This kind of behavior just makes me so mad. I really don't think - I know I am not
the most overprotective parent in the world.
I don't watch my kids every single second they are outside and I am not
opposed to them doing things that could potentially cause minor harm to their
bodies. I figure scrapes, skinned knees,
and even a few stitches are a pretty routine part of childhood. But at the same time, children are a huge
responsibility. There is never a moment
where I don't have at least a general idea of where my kids are and what they
are doing. And I would never let
a three year old out of my yard or sight for a second!
But yet, I'm somewhat sympathetic to these grandparents,
dunderheads as they are. I'm sure they
never planned to be the main caregivers of their illigitimate
grandchildren. They're old. I imagine it's a relief to have the kids
outside and not bugging them inside for popsicles, tv time, and about the
latest infraction of their sibling/cousin.
Being with my own children is quite wearing. I can't imagine doing this when I'm thirty
years older and that much more tired, esp. when I imagine the level of
gratitude from the children's mothers is probably minimal and without financial
compensation (I'm guessing, anyway).
I've wondered if there is more I'm supposed to be
doing. I imagine they think I'm a pretty
cranky lady and probably feel sorry for my kids having to live with me. Maybe I'm the only person that day who has a
kind word for them. Maybe I should make
an effort to tell them about Jesus.
I don't know. I'm
just tired of the extra kids, though, and can't wait for school to start, as a
result. But I may be missing a real
opportunity here in the meantime.
*****************************
The other day part of Ellie's new doll stroller broke -
nothing that can't be fixed. Sam was
insistent that he be the repairman. He
tried attaching the fabric to the metal with Scotch tape (which I knew wouldn't
work, but thought he should be the one to figure it out). I finally suggested to him duct tape might be
a better option. He ran and got the roll
and then I heard him saying to Ellie as he peeled off a piece, "Duct tape
is the handyman's secret weapon!"
Paul would be so proud!
***********************************
I took the kids to the library again this last week. While I was there, I found a movie for myself
and checked it out - which is silly, because I rarely have time to watch movies. I'm more of a reader. As it is, I've been watching this one bit by
bit, as I can snag a few minutes before bed every night.
It's a Meryl Streep movie and she plays a divorcee of 10
years. She and her husband have 3 grown
children and they suddenly begin to rekindle their feelings for eachother. Unfortunately, this involves booty calls and
the husband is already remarried, which is a definate no-no. I believe that's called adultury. I haven't finished the movie yet, but I don't
think it's going to end well.
But it made my mind start to wander. I found myself wishing that I could re-kindle
things with Paul. Which is impossible of
course, given that he's dead. But, my
mind started going into fanciful, "what-if" land.
What if he wasn't dead? What if, instead, he had just left me for the
past two years? Just walked out and
didn't look back. I would have gone
through a ton of grief and anger and stuff and maybe a divorce would have
happened. But then what if he came back,
like the ex in this movie, and began to woo me again? Could I be wooed? Would there be enough feelings not ruined by
hurt? Could we pick up where we had left
off?
It's silly, I know.
Nothing productive comes from existing in a fantasy world. But sometimes it's fun to visit and wonder
what things might be like if they weren't what they are.
I still miss him.
Nearly 26 months and that hasn't changed. I like to think I've come so far, but I'm not
so sure that's really true.
I'm still trying to exist between the planes of what was
and what is.
And that exhausts me.
.
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