Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Day 693


Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Day 693


It's a beautiful 73 degree day here in central Iowa...so welcome after the cold, rainy weekend we had.  In fact, the weather was so rotten we had to postpone the work the garage that the guys from church were going to do.  That's ok.  It's (the garage) not going anywhere.  Every hour I make myself go outside and rake.  I've been working on the area in front of the propane tank for the past couple of weeks.  I got the wood pile that's been there since right after Paul's death moved to the other end of the yard for our future fire pit.  Now I'm raking up all the wood chips.


Ellie's surgery went well last  week.  It wasn't as invasive as the dentist had originally feared.  She didn't need to have any extractions or root canals and only one of her top front teeth had to be capped.  All her molars and a couple canines now have crowns.  She has a shiny smile now!  Pastor and Marcia came and sat with me during the procedure and Marcia helped me send Ellie off to surgery and get her dressed afterwards.  I appreciated that so much.  Waiting rooms are lonely places.


When we drove up to the hospital on Thursday morning Ellie exclaimed, "Hey - this is a hospital!"  She doesn't miss a thing.  She then continued in a disgusted tone, "I thought you said we were going to the dentist!"


When I had to change her into her surgery clothes she expressed her dissatisfaction with the pjs she was given informing me that they were "BOY pajamas!"  They were orange and green, so I can see her objection.  She was real clingy for a couple of days, but was back to  normal by the weekend.


Yesterday, I took Will to see the oral surgeon about his wisdom teeth.  They are coming out May 18.  His bottom ones are growing in at a straight angle towards the rest of his teeth.  I sure don't want to mess up  that naturally straight smile he was blessed with.  After insurance it's going to cost close to a thousand dollars, though.  Ouch. I may be hurting more than he will that day!   Why couldn't he have been like Paul and waited until his thirties to start getting his teeth out?  Paul actually was needing to get the last two removed but we were putting it off.  I'm kind of glad we did now. 


Oh, and speaking of even more teeth...a week ago Sam wanted an apple and asked me to peel it for him.  One thing I don't do is peel apples for my kids.  They can either learn to eat them with the peel on or not eat them.  I told him as much.  He complained that the peel hurt his loose tooth.  I told him that maybe that would help the tooth come out.  About a half hour later he ran screeching into my room, "My tooth fell out, my tooth fell out!"  Guess I was right!  But I still kind of felt bad.  I think a good mom would have peeled the apple for her child.  Later he asked, "Can you just give me the dollar now 'cuz' I know you're really the tooth fairy!"  I didn't.


And then Friday night I went scrapbooking and because of the rain I got to sleep in on Sat. since no men were coming to work on the garage.  A couple of times I noticed Lizzie popping her head into my room and then wandering back out.  I ignored her, hoping she'd still think I was asleep.  I eventually got up and both Sam and Lizzie appeared in the hallway,


"Mom, Mom!"


"Quiet!  Let ME tell her!"


And then simultaneously, "I/Lizzie lost my/her tooth!"


It had happened the same way the night before, this time while Lizzie was eating an apple.


I heard back from RBP finally (it only took them 3 days, but it felt like 3 months to this insecure author).  They love my piece!  It will be out this fall, which is a really, really long time away.  And they want one of adoption next, for publication in about a year.


I checked my credit score this week.  It's the highest it's ever been.  Ironically, I am in a position now of not needing my credit score for anything!  Maybe someday.  Hopefully not, though.


Ben's been fretting lately about his future.  I think it's partially due to the fact that he's a junior and typical juniors in high school are hearing a lot of "planning your future" talks.  And it's equally due to his autism, too.  Ben has always been someone who has to know exactly what's coming.  When he was a preschooler and we were running errands he'd have to know exactly where we going and in what order we were going to these places.  If I deviated from what I originally told him a major back-seat meltdown would occur.  It's the same thing now, only without the histrionics.


I got emails from both his teachers last week, concerned for Ben, saying he was "distracted" and his normally cheery personality seemed subdued.  They'd concluded it had to do with his worries for the future.  Could be.  I know he's told me that he is dreading his graduation because he thinks it means I'll die, too, like Paul did within days of Will's.  I can't fix that kind of thinking.


So, to help Ben his teachers have arranged for all 4 of us to go visit the Christian Opportunity Center in Pella on Friday morning.  I'm guessing the set up is a lot like Genesis in Indianola.  If they're pretty much the same I'd prefer Ben end up at Genesis because having him live in Indianola would be preferable for a lot of reasons.  But we'll check them both out.  Ben's very excited about Friday and about the idea of moving to Pella someday.


Pella is a community founded by settlers from Holland.  Every year they have a big tulip festival and all the major buildings there are designed in a dutch style.  I've been there a few times but never have had a reason to go there consistently.  Ben got home today and exclaimed, "If I move to Pella, then I'll be Dutch!"  Ha, ha. ha!


Sunday night was our church's annual Awana awards night.  Since my kids aren't in Awana, we always don't attend that one service of the year.  Will had the idea to invite a couple other non-participant families over so we did.  We ended up with 24 people here at the house, including our family.  It was so much fun!  I think we may have to make this a tradition.  I'm really thankful I have a house now that is big enough to host a group this size.


Today I was scrolling down Facebook and an article popped up on my feed entitled, "Ways You may be Crushing Your Cat's Spirit."  I thought for sure it had to be satire.  So I clicked on the link and went to the article.  It wasn't!  It was an honest piece written to cat owners about how they may, unknowingly, be "crushing" their kitty's spirit.  As Paul would have said,


Give me a stinking break!!!


I love my cat, I seriously do.  But crushing her spirit is the least of my concerns.  I'm doing good to not crush my children's spirits - not going to worry about an animal.  I feed her and let her sleep on my bed.  She's got a good life.


Even with her crushed spirit.


Kind of a commentary on our society, isn't it?


David made the first major purchase of his life today.  He bought a really nice camera.  For well over a year he's had an interest in photography.  He's been saving his money.   He's actually had enough for quite awhile but made no move to purchase the camera.  I think he was kind of paralyzed by fear and indecision - which is typical of his personality.  I suggested to him a few weeks ago that when we got his birthday pictures done we ought to go see what Best Buy has in the way of cameras while we waited for the portraits to be developed.  In the meantime, I talked to our pastor, who is photographer, to get his input on what to purchase.  David seemed very receptive to that so that's what we did today.


I figured we would just look but Best Buy was having a sale on Nikons and for once, they had a really attentive employee helping us.  I did have David look up the same camera on Amazon, but it was quite a bit more expensive there.  So he jumped and bought the camera which came in a kit with an extra lens and bag.  He's already taken some really neat pictures today.


David needs to be good  at something and have an interest in something other than Marvel superheroes and legos.  I'm hoping photography will be it.  If not...there's always Craig's List for his camera, I guess.


It was funny.  When we first walked into Best Buy an employee asked if he could help us.  It must have been a slow morning.  Normally, I have to scour the break rooms to find anyone to help us in that store.  I said, "Yes - where are your cameras?"  He looked at me for the longest time and said, "Cameras - for what?"


I was dumbfounded.  What else are cameras for?  I looked at him strangely and replied slowly, "For taking pictures..."  He stood there a minute longer and then recovered, laughing, and said, "Oh, yes, of course - my mind just went blank for a minute there!"  Wow...somebody needed some coffee!  And for once, it wasn't me!


Will and David cleaned out the garage last weekend.  Next week the city is having a clean-up day where extra garbage trucks will be sent around to collect curbside refuse so this was in preparation for that.  The upside is that I have a very tidy garage now.  The downside is that I have to look at a mess in the yard of piled up garbage until clean-up day a week from today.


I was actually very encouraged by how much Will was willing to get rid of.  Two years ago when we tackled the garage shortly after Paul's death I could not get that kid to let go of much.  I know it was his way of trying to hold onto his dad.  I commented to someone recently that it seems like Paul's presence is getting smaller and smaller, more and more boxed up all the time.  At first, he was still all over  our house.  Even though he was dead, his clothes were still in the laundry, his shirt was hanging on a hook in the bathroom, and his things were all over the home.   Bit by bit, his presence was condensed as I gathered up his stuff and made decisions about them.  It seems like the more time goes on the more I am willing to either get rid of things or consign them to my hope chest.  I don't require them to be out anymore to be constantly comforted and  reminded of him.  His presence in our home is shrinking.


I know this is natural and probably a sign of healing.  But it's kind of sad, too, how a person can be such a huge part of your life but once they're dead...they're gone.  Bit by bit, their memory fades away and eventually we'll all be gone, too, and there will be nobody left to remember and mourn the one that was lost.


I am reminded of that verse that reminds us life is "but a vapor." 








































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