Thursday, April 16, 2015

Day 681

DIARY OF AN UNWILLING WIDOW

April 16, 2015

Day 681

 

It's one of those nice, sunny and warm April days that makes you think winter is now a distant memory -  until you look at next week's forecast, which is cold and rainy.  But I'll enjoy today, anyway.

 

This whole week has been really nice.  I've been slowly whittling down my wood pile with the good weather.  That means I'm moving it by wheelbarrow load from its home in front of the propane tank to the other end of the property by the fruit trees.  It's a big job.  I go out once an hour and move one load.  I was afraid maybe it would be termite infested by now, but I haven't found one yet - just some slugs and worms.

*************************

 

I got my article written and a friend edited for me.  She's so good at what she does.  Every time I write something I think, "I don't need an editor!" and every time I find mistakes later (like after publication - how embarrassing).  Now I just need to think of a snazzy title before submitting it.

*********************

We went to Waterloo over the weekend - where Ellie got  sick.  She had diarrhea on Sat. night which meant we put her on a bath towel while Dad and I ran to Kmart to buy more underwear for her.  And then she threw up Sunday morning.  She's fine now, but I hear my parents weren't so fortunate.  I feel like the worst daughter in the world, bringing the plague into their house.  We, however, are all fine here.  Ben did have a nasty cold earlier this week but is on the mend.  He went to school today.

*******************************

Yesterday was Ben's dental appointment in Iowa City.  He did fine.  They took xrays and said his wisdom teeth won't be ready to come out for another 4-5 years, which is great news.  The dr there commented that girls' jaws develop more quickly than boys' do.  I did not know that.

 

In a week and a half Will and I meet with the oral surgeon about his wisdom teeth.  I don't know if he's going to be able to get them out in between the end of classes in May and before he heads up to camp or if he'll have to wait until Christmas break.

 

Ellie's dental surgery is a week from today.  Too much teeth stuff!

**************************

While I was driving in Iowa City yesterday I drove by an apartment building that billed itself as "Dark Place."  I thought that was kind of odd and a potential impediment to securing renters.  I immediately began thinking of the fun one could have with that, though: "Yes, well, I'm in a rather dark place right now."  Ha, ha, ha...Then I realized that I had, once again, read something too fast.   The apartments were Park Place...not nearly so much fun!

**************************

Ellie was "helping" me cook this week.  I gave her a bag of cheese and told her to sprinkle it on the bread.  As she did so, I heard her saying, "Sprink, sprink, sprink!"

******************************

My contractor came out for a few hours on Tuesday and got about half the back of the kitchen done.  I'm really trying not to be impatient.  If Paul was alive the siding would be years away yet and I'd still be living in a construction mess inside the house.  So, really, even if it takes this guy all summer long to get my house done, I'm still way-y-y ahead of what it would have been.  Hopefully he'll come out tonight and get some more up.

 

I have found that this week has been a little harder, grief-wise.  I wondered if it is because the work on the house is getting done.  And, of course, that was supposed to be Paul's job.  But maybe that has nothing to do with it.  Maybe it's just one of those grief swells (notice - not a "wave," but a "swell").

I read something really, really good last night, written by the author of the blog, "One Fit Widow."  She talked about how her son was just a baby when his dad died.  But yet there are still times this boy, now several years older, really, really struggles with the fact that his father died, despite never having known him.  She wrote about her helplessness and inability to fix this in her son's life.  Boy, can I relate!  I almost  think my teenagers have done better with losing Paul than Sam has.  But the author went on to point out the things that she has been able to give her son:

 

* resiliency: our kids learn that life can go on, despite enduring the worst possible loss

 

* love: our kids learn that you can love someone well who has died

 

* life: learning that it matters

 

* joy: this is choice we can make in our homes, despite what has happened

 

Anyway, I saved this particular post.  I'll probably want to read it again.  Or a hundred times.

***************************

I am getting such a kick out of Sam these days.  Ok, I've been doing that since he was born.  He's just such a unique little guy.  Even today I was watching him do his math problems and I wondered if his teacher next year will appreciate the cute little way he holds his pencil in his left hand - something that just seems so foreign to me in this family of right-handed people.  I hope she does.  Sam has had a lot of deep, spiritual questions lately.  Some have to do with Paul's death, but a lot pertain to salvation.  He's having a hard time understanding how some people get to hear the gospel over and over in their lives and how others may only hear it one time but they're equally responsible for their decision.

 

The other night he was on my bed and I had PBS on.  They had a program about one of the concentration camps.  I kept it on because that kind of stuff is important but also because the guy narrating does some of the Dateline whodunit shows and he has such a compelling voice - I could listen to it all night long!  Some of the images were pretty gruesome.  Sam knew nothing about the holocaust and had all kinds of questions.  He was baffled that an entire continent could listen to "such a bad guy" (Hitler).  I needed to go take a bath and gave Sam the option of turning the tv off but he wanted to keep watching it.  I wondered, briefly, if this was too heavy for a 7 year old.  But this is stuff people need to know.  It happened.  Seven year olds died in those camps.  He didn't have a lot to say later but I know him well enough to know that he's thinking about it.  One of these days, he'll have some questions for me.

****************************

When we were in Waterloo last weekend I had the kids at a nearby park.  There was a really nice lady there with her kids.  I could sense that Lizzie was intensly interested in these people.  She's pretty sociable, anyway, but this interest went beyond what she is normally.  She's just kept hanging around the little boy and mom, in a way that was different from how she typically acts.  Well, they were black.  I think she was identifying with them.  She comments fairly often how she wishes she had more black people to associate with.  There's not a whole lot I can do about that.

 

It was cute.  At one point, I was chatting with the mom and Lizzie plopped down beside me.  She asked the lady, "Do you know that I'm adopted?"  It was all I could do to not laugh out loud! 

********************************

Will came home yesterday afternoon and got the new trampoline set up.  We all ended up having to help.  What a job!  We had one before that Paul assembled.  It lasted maybe 5 years or so.  Actually, we saved the top when it fell apart and that's what our pool now sets on.  It's the perfect size.  I don't recall Paul having any difficulty putting it together.  But this new one was a beast.  Of course, all trampolines now are sold with protective, netted sides.  So that makes for more work.  But Will commented how he wants us to take this down every fall and store it during the winter time.  That makes sense, for preserving it, but I cringe at the idea of the work that's going to take!

 

The kids are sure enjoying it.

*****************************

Tomorrow night is a Moms Night Out event.  I am looking forward to my hours of freedom!  I have a few errands to run and then a date with supper and my kindle.

 

Saturday will be busier.  I was invited to a neighbor's "vintage jewelery" sale (whatever that is) but  I don't think I'm going to have time.  David has softball practice in the afternoon, which means I have to take all of us, as well get everything else done in the morning.  Then, I think I am actually going to make it to my Sunday School get-together, which hasn't happened since last fall.  They are talking rain this weekend so perhaps David's practice might get rained out...I would not complain one bit if that happened!

 

Well, I don't think supper is going to make itself, although it would be nice if it did.  Growing up, I watched the show, "Bewitched."  Being an adult now, I totally believe Samantha's nose-twitching powers were poorly used.  If she had half a brain, she would have gotten out of cooking every night simply by wiggling that nose!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No comments:

Post a Comment