Day 502
I did it - I've made it past
500 days of widowhood. It does feel like
something of an accomplishment. Now, to
make to 1000, which should happen in another 16 months or so.
We just happened to have
tickets to a pre-season NFL game that night at Wells Fargo. I had bought the tickets way back in June,
not knowing that Oct. 16 would be day 500.
So that worked out kind of cool.
Actually, all of Thursday was
busy and more of a "family" day than most. Ben had Sp. Olympics bowling in the
afternoon. He did the best he has ever
done. I always laugh when he bowls
because I remember how his bowling ball holes were specially drilled to fit his
extra long fingers. He doesn't even use
them. Each time he approaches the lane,
he leans all the way over and rolls the ball with two hands. Apparently, he has perfected his method
because during one game he scored 117!
He and his entire team earned blue ribbons and will be going to the
state meet next month.
I didn't have a lot of time
to cook after that and I wanted to make sure the kids' tummies were nice and
full before the game because I wasn't about to buy concession stand food. They check your bags there at Wells Fargo so
you can't sneak in food, either, like you can at the movie theater (Yes, I'm
bad...and cheap). So we stopped at
Hy-Vee and got two buckets of chicken.
We met Will at Principal Park
We quickly found out what $22
tickets bought us - seats way-y-y up high on the top concourse! We could still see fine, but it was a little
unnerving to be looking that far down onto the floor! The game was good. I was kind of rooting for the Denver Nuggets
because I always smile when I think of Denver Denver Golden State
So now we can say we've been
to an actual NBA game. The boys say that
we now have to attend an NFL game, but I don't know if that will ever happen or
not! And actually, this game was a lot
more classy, I thought, than the local game we attended there in January. The cheerleader-dancers did have one somewhat
skanky performance, but that was it.
Lizzie was disappointed. She is
fascinated by cheerleaders and we tend to have a lot of conversations about
what is proper and improper around here, as a result. The half-time show was an acrobat team that
performed on this season's "America
One funny thing: Lizzie kept
turning around to observe the people behind us.
Apparently it was a group of international students with their American
host. I think what caught Lizzie's
attention was that one of the young women was black. As it turned out her name was Rosa
and she was from France Rosa a Spanish name, though?). But at one point, Lizzie nudged me and loudly
said, of the host, "Look, Mom - that man has ice tea in a cup!"
Um, yeah...not ice tea!
****************************************
It was just a busy week, all
around. Tuesday I went with my friend,
Jeanne, up to Faith. She is 81 and
twice-widowed. Her husband was one of my
professors 25 yrs ago. I met her through
another widow at our church and Jeanne and I have just hit it off. It helps that she does texting and Facebook,
since those are my primary means of communication anymore. She was asked to be a guest speaker in a
women's ministry class (specifically, a class about ministering to the aged in
the church) about widowhood. I invited
myself along because I just wanted to hear what she had to say. To my surprise, she had gotten her hands on
the blog post I wrote back in June right at the one year mark of Paul's death (the post) and she referenced that post
quite a bit! It was rather flattering
that she thought I had something of
import to contribute to the class.
There were only two students
in the class and they both told me that they had worked with Will up at
camp. Small world. After class, we went with the instructor (whose
husband was also one of my professors oh, so long ago) to the cafeteria and had
a nice lunch. Then yesterday, I received
a sweet card from the instructor. What a
nice day that was for me!
While at lunch we were
talking about remarriage and both women earnestly told me that if I do remarry
I must have a prenuptial agreement in place.
I wrinkled my nose and asked, "Aren't those unbiblical?" They both assured me it is different when it
is a second marriage and either spouse has children and is bringing assets into
the marriage. I had never thought about
that before. I'll have the children, but
I'm not so sure how many assets I'll have left by the time I marry again,
though!
*******************************************
Then, that evening Will and I
went to a Piano Guys concert. I wasn't
totally excited by the idea because I knew it was instrumental music and, as
I've mentioned before, I have a very
limited tolerance for music that doesn't involve a beat and lyrics. I soon began to get the idea that a whole lot
of people knew something I didn't because the entire Civic Auditorium was
completely packed out. Seriously. I saw about 10 seats on the very back, top
row that were empty and that was it.
The concert was AMAZING! Oh, my goodness. I could have sat there for a lot longer than
two hours. Maybe I have more of an
appreciation for culture than I realized.
Or maybe it's just that these performers have figured out a way to make
instrumental music fun and exciting. I
think I'm going to download everything they've recorded!
**************************
Wednesday Ben had to go to Iowa City
Afterwards, he wanted to go
to Steak and Shake to eat. We don't have
any of those out here. So we did. He started to place his own order when the
waiter came and my first instinct was to jump in and take over for him, but I
thought, "No - he needs to learn how to do this. I won't always be with him in restaurant
situations." So I just let him
place his own order. The only problem
with that is that while I can understand Ben perfectly, I forget that his
weaker oral muscles make his speech harder to understand by people that don't
spend a lot of time with him. Although,
he's improved greatly since childhood.
He hasn't even been in speech therapy since he was about 12.
So Ben explained what he
wanted and the waiter then turned to me apologetically and asked, "Uh,
could you repeat back to me what he said?"
Poor guy. But he still got the
order wrong!
********************************
The other day Will sent me a
Facebook clip of a mother/son wedding dance with the message, "Do you
think you can do this?" It was kind
of a complicated dance that included all different kinds of music and
moves. Thinking he was just joking, I
messaged him, "Sure - let's plan on it!" Well, a couple of days later at the concert
Will asked me seriously, "So we're going to do that dance,
right?" I told him that would be
fine (!) and then he added, "You'd better get into shape first." I may or may
not have been huffing and puffing a bit as I followed him the couple
blocks we had to walk to the Civic Auditorium.
I told him not to worry. With as
long as he is taking to find the wife needed for said wedding, I have plenty of
time to tone up! Here's what he has in mind: Mother/Son dance
**********************************
I did a more complicated hair
style on Ellie today. Since it took
awhile, I pulled the kitchen stool into the living room so she could watch tv
while I worked on her head. Some movie
was on that featured primarily black actors.
Ellie observed one of the men and then said, "Mom - you should get
me a daddy like that!" I didn't
know whether to laugh or cry.
The other night Ben asked me
how soon I plan to remarry. I told him,
of course, I have no idea. He said,
"Well, I hope it's soon. I'd like
to have another dad."
Sigh...
************************************
I dreamed last night that
Lizzie drowned in our pool. I pulled her
out and realized she was dead and was completely distraught. In my dream I thought to myself, "Oh, I
guess I loved her more than I realized!"
The dream got really weird from there (I ended up baking her into a pie
before I called 911) but it stuck with me in that I remembered it very clearly
this morning.
Actually, Lizzie really
hasn't been troublesome lately. She's
going through a good stretch right now.
Her sister on the other hand...Oh, I am so frustrated. I cannot get her to quit coloring on
her bedroom furniture. I have cleaned
and cleaned up that room, but she still manages to find pencils and
markers. Every time she does this I
spank her. And I even make a point to
question her hours later, "Why did you get a spanking?" And she answers, "Because I colored on
my bed/dresser." So I know she
understands. But then she turns right
around and does it again. The worst part
is that she attempts to lie about it every time, telling me sincerely,
"Lizzie did it." So then I
have to punish her not only for the crime, but for lying. She was such a sweet, quiet little
baby/toddler. I never would have dreamed
we'd go through this at age 3. I am
starting to get fearful of what she is going to be like as a teenager. On the other hand, it serves as a good
impetus to get this rooted out now. But
I am not sure how to thoroughly root it out.
I've banned her from all writing utensils, other than signing birthday
cards. Periodically, I will ask her,
"What do we color on?" She'll
answer, "Only on paper!" And
then I'll ask, "Is your furniture paper?"
"No, Mommy."
But she still colors on the
furniture! (Pulling out my hair with one hand as I type...)
**************************************
Out of curiosity, I looked
up decomposition rates on the internet last week. The websites I found were quite descriptive
of the breakdown of the human body once life has been extinguished. Yuck.
Dust to dust and all that... Embalming does slow down the process somewhat,
but it sounds like this far into it, there probably would not be a whole lot of
Paul left that's recognizable. I kind of
wished I had not researched that. It
just made me feel even more that he is truly gone. I mean, of course, he's gone. He doesn't need his earthly body anymore and
hasn't for some time, which is why it's rotting away. But I guess there was some comfort in knowing
that it was just underground up the road from my house.
Right after Paul died I
ordered the book, Heaven is for Real.
We started reading it as a family but never got around to finishing
it. I know there's been some criticism
of that whole story by Christians, but I have always felt like, even before
Paul died, that there's a good chance that this book was a gift to us from God
-a glimpse of what is waiting for us. I
don't believe the the book was a hoax written by parents hoping to cash
in. Neither do I believe it was
Satanically inspired. So, a couple of
weeks ago I ordered the children's version of the book. My Littles have been so excited by that and
I've caught Sam and Lizzie repeatedly poring over the pages. It makes me want to finish the adult version
now.
One of the things the book
claims is that Jesus meets every new arrival to Heaven. That thought made me smile as I thought of
the morning of June 6, 2013 . Paul went to sleep beside the
wife he loved and woke up being embraced by his Lord. Does it get much better than that?
And a side note that truly
excites me: about a year ago I wrote about the dream God sent me regarding Paul
and Heaven. It was very vivid and I
detailed it all in my blog. One of the
things that I remember from that dream is that Paul told me the walls of Heaven
are covered with Scripture. I had never
heard anything like that before so it wasn't like it was some former fragment
of memory that made its way into my dream.
Well, I was looking at the illustrations in this Heaven is for Real
book and guess what I saw on a page? The
walls of Heaven covered in Scripture!
I totally got goosebumps.
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