All my boys are back now. Will had Sr. High camp last week and said it was his best week of camp ever. Now he's attending Football Camp, which is actually different from previous years. Rather than literally camping out at the school, he just attends from 5:30 - 8:30 every night this week. Then next week starts actual football practice. His last year...sniff...
I am glad to have all my chicks in the nest again, though. I took Will in for his sports physical this morning. He's 6'1" now and 170 lbs. Paul is 6 foot and weighs 200.
Guess what I've been learning a lot about? It's called Reactive Attachment Disorder. The child with an attachment disorder lives for power - for protection. Because he survived whatever neglect and abuse was meted out before his removal he views everything in life as a battle. It is imperative that he "win" every encounter. He's also all about protecting his heart. If he's been moved around (and by virtue of being a foster child, he has) he has quickly learned that there is no such as thing as permanence. If he builds a barrier between himself and whoever his caregiver is, then it won't be so hurtful when he is moved again. Sometimes, these children can be reached, but sometimes the damage is so great that the new parents spend the rest of their lives trying to heal the hurt within their child and are unsuccessful. I'm reading a recommended book entitled, "Parenting the Hurt Child." I'm learning a lot. You should ask me sometime why I'm reading this. I bet you can guess. We may have taken on a battle we can never win. But I'm going to do my best - which is all God is asking of me.
It sounds like Paul is definitely going to be a big brother again. His dad called last night and said they found out that they can definitely adopt their great-grandkids, who would be Paul's great niece and nephew. Now, technically and legally, they will be his siblings. I've got some mixed feelings about that whole situation. But then I suppose mixed feelings are always going to be part of the bag when you're dealing with an unnatural situation created by sin.
I have been really sick for quite awhile, but am starting to feel better finally. I got what I thought was a cold two weeks ago. It was horrible and I just couldn't get better. I finally went to Urgent Care a week ago (I always forget how incompetent they are at Urg. Care until I go again - imbeciles) thinking I had a sinus infection. After I waited for an hour to be seen they told me I just had a simple cold and there was nothing they could do for me. Grrr....I was gradually getting better, but I had just never had something hang on like this. Last Thurs. we went to Jefferson to see Dr. Miller. Our primary reason for seeing him is for allergy treatment. But I mentioned to him that my immune system seems to be shot lately, which baffles me because I am normally so healthy, thanks to all the Vit D I ingest He did some testing on me and said, "You are really sick!" No kidding. He said I have been sick for months, which doesn't surprise me. I have gotten one thing after another since last Feb. And, he said that he strongly suspected it was an e-coli infection. Eww! But he said he fixed me. And honestly, I am feeling tons better now.
I bought a Kindle today. A year ago at this time I would have laughed at the idea and claimed that nothing could replace the feel of paper in the hands. But, I've been slowly persuaded of the value in recent months. I just bought the basic edition. It's all I wanted. I didn't need all the fancy features of the $200 Fire version. I already had a $25 gift card to Best Buy from a previous promotion a few weeks ago when I bought some virus protection so with tax and everything, I paid under $60 for my kindle. And then I ordered a lighted case for it off Amazon this afternoon for $15. So we'll see how I like it. I think I will like it - a lot!
Here is a link to an article I wrote a few weeks ago for Jewels: http://www.jewelsofencouragement.com/2012/07/no-surgery-needed.html This one surprised me. I wasn't all that excited by it when I wrote it. I wrote it in a hurry because I was already 2 days past my deadline. I didn't really like how it came together. In fact, I didn't even have plans to put a link to it on Facebook because I just didn't care for it. I checked the link at 7:30 the morning it posted just to make sure it posted correctly. To my surprise, I already had 3 comments on it! So, I figured it must be better than I had thought it was! I put the link up on FB and 2 of my friends ended up sharing the link on their page. People seemed to really like this article, for some reason! I wrote about true love and plastic surgery. I figured somewhere along the way I would make someone mad because I didn't even include a line in the article about how I didn't have a problem with plastic surgery, per se, that it was an individual decision, and so on. I thought about putting something like that in but there just was not a good spot for it. But nobody said anything, so I guess I didn't offend!
The girls' case worker is coming over for her first visit this Wednesday, I found out today. I have a feeling that a compulsive urge to clean is about to hit. It had better, anyway, for my sake!
August happens this week. I think August officially means that summer is over, although Ben doesn't go back until the 22nd and I don't plan to start school with the other boys until after then. But I have so much to do between now and then to get ready for everyone's schooling. I'm actually a little concerned about how I'm going to get it all done. It will get done, but I'm just not sure how!
We are headed out west this weekend. Kathy and I are getting together. I have a feeling I am going to appreciate this visit more than any other one I've ever had before! Paul is going to try to get the AC in his mom's van working for her. Next week we are going to Adventureland one day. We have been wanting to get out to Living History Farms in August, too, but I don't know when we can make that work. I know Paul is talking about starting to dig out the basement at the end of the month, too. I'm dreading that - looking forward to more room, but dreading the mess again!
One day at a time...
I know a great attachment/permanence therapist if you need one...let me know.
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