Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Good News, Thanksgiving, and Resolutions

Time to finish up this week's blogging!

Joy rallied. They tried some additional steroids and it really brought her around and stopped the brain swelling. My friend Julie went up to see her yesterday. She called me afterwards and said it was just a really strange day. She had gotten a call that morning from Joy's husband saying that she had better come because she might not get another chance to see Joy. So she went and by the time she got to the hospital, her husband was talking about them all being in church together Sunday! Julie was asking me rhetorically, "How do you go from being at death's door, to planning to attend church in just a few days?" Whatever it is, we'll take it. I know Joy and her family are not looking for a cure (although they would take one) but just more time to spend together before she goes Home.

I didn't write about Thanksgiving yet. This year we went out to Council Bluffs. To my surprise, almost everyone - everyone being Paul's nuclear birth family - was there. His one brother didn't come but that's all right because we think he's a bit psychotic and aren't too crazy about having him near our kids. I can get away with saying these things on my blog because absolutely nobody in Paul's family has the slightest interest in reading my blog! There are advantages to being disliked...

It was an ok day. We spent the night on Wed. Paul's sister and family were in town from Ohio and thus, had the upstairs guest bedroom. So we got the downstairs bedroom. It's located underneath the kitchen and the ceiling is not insulated which means every footstep above sounds like a thundering herd of elephants. And Paul's mother was up at 4am putting in the turkey. So our sleep was definitely not uninterrupted!

Neither of Paul's sisters spoke a single word to me the entire time we were there. As Paul reminds me - "Consider the source" but it still bothers me even after all these years. Paul has also tried to remind me over the years that it probably has more to do with him than me. Years ago Paul had to take a stand for truth and righteousness that pitted him against his entire family. I don't think they've ever forgiven him. His sisters, especially, have just never been all that interested in pursuing a relationship with me and have seemingly gone out of their way to take offense when none was intended. I keep telling myself that I "give up" but I guess there is a still a part of me that longs for that sister relationship I had always hoped to attain when marrying. After 19 years, I think it's safe to say that it just isn't going to happen!

But my other sister-in-law, Lisa, and I had a couple of nice conversations. She's been horrible at keeping in contact since we moved, but we have always enjoyed eachother's company. When Lisa found out that we are pursuing adoption she got so excited for us, which was nice. I found out that her son, who is Will's age, and his girlfriend are going to be graduating from high school this May, which is a year early. Since they have a child they apparently got into some accelerated graduation path that their school offers for young parents. Also, they both have full-ride scholarships to the area community college because of their young parenthood status. I want them to succeed in life and so my feelings are divided. I'm happy that they won't be welfare-dependent their entire lives and have a shot at a decent future. But at the same time I'm sitting down with Will and we're poring over college brochures and trying to figure out what kind of scholarships and grants and loans he can qualify for so that he can scrape through and earn a degree himself. It doesn't seem fair to me. I just have to remind myself that 1) life isn't always fair, as much as we would like it to be and 2) You can never go wrong by doing things God's way. Yes, Will will have to work his tail off to get through college but he will have God's hand of blessing on him because he is a young man who earnestly desires to do the right thing and so far, has chosen to do the right things.

One of the nicest things about Thanksgiving? The fried turkey Paul's brother made - yum, yum!

Actually, I think girls are the farthest thing from Will's mind right now, anyway! Last night we were helping Paul lay carpet and I casually asked Will what qualities he was looking for in a future wife. He looked at me like I had grown two heads and replied, "None!" He then said he didn't see a reason to be thinking of those things when he wasn't even looking for a wife right now! I then asked him, jokingly, if he wanted to marry a girl like me someday, and he said well, only for the cooking part, meaning he wants a wife who cooks like I do, but evidently there are other things in me he sees as less-than-desirable - ??? Hard to imagine that!

We did get rest of the carpet down last night - it took forever because we had to piece in a 12" piece along the back wall. This carpet came with a pad already on it, so we had to use carpet tape, which was a new experience - it's kind of handy stuff. But now I have all the furniture in there. We don't have the bed set up because one of the legs is cracked and Paul wants to fix that first. So, I'm trying to be patient, even though I am so anxious to put that thing together with the new sheets and comforter I bought and to just have it ready and waiting for our new little girl!

This weekend is hunting. Nathanael is coming over for a few days to stay and a guy from church is also going to be joining them. So I have some cooking and cleaning to do. My friend, Julie, is coming over on Sat with her little girl while her husband hunts. I'd like to have my Christmas stuff out and up by then, but I don't know if it's going to happen. I hope they get some deer - our supply of venison is getting low! The news has been reporting today that the number of deer have decreased. I guess an all-white deer - something I have never seen before - was killed this morning up in Des Moines by a car. Monday night there was a deer/car accident at Army Post and SE 14th, which surprised me because that's a high traffic area, not really anything rural around. This will be the guys' first experience hunting around here.

I think we're going to try to do better at having family devos this next year. We were talking the other day, wondering out loud if we are "doing enough" where the boys are concerned, spiritually. It's so easy to take them to church and send them to youth group, but I have to wonder if that's really all that's required. So many young people walk away from the church once they are grown and I'm not entirely sure why. But I know I don't want my boys making that choice. Of course, it will ultimately be up to them, but I want to be able to say that I did everything possible I could as a parent to prevent it. Paul also want to implement a "tv-less" week one week a month. It's not that we'd forgo tv altogether, but we would make an attempt to have it on less during that week. I've been less thrilled with that idea, but I can see the wisdom in it.

A David funny as I close up: The other day he was asking me about "that section of the paper where they list the dead people" and I replied, "You mean the obituary section?" David's eyes got huge and he sputtered, "Mom, I think you just said the "B" word!" I had never put that together before but I guess he'd be right. So now that word is forever ruined for me because I know exactly what I'm going to think about when I hear it! And now, thanks to me, so will my readers! You can thank me later.

More work awaits. I need to take Ben to get his allergy shots in a couple of hours. He ended up staying home from school today because he was having such a rough time with his nose. It's been bothering him since Sunday, really. Monday I got a call to go get him early, too. I sure wish we could conquer those stupid allergies. Then, when I get home I need to zip over to City Hall and meet with a guy we might be hiring to be our water commissioner. And then we'll have to leave for church. My days are a whirlwind...

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