July 13,
2015
Day 769
I haven't
written a lot lately - mainly because I haven't had a lot to say!
Today I am
staggering through another migraine. I
had one like this last Wed. I called in
a refill on my pills and they have to get an ok from my neurologist first. I have a fuzzy feeling he's going to make me
come in for a visit before giving me another refill, which is not going to make
me happy.
Fortunately,
today is a day with no demands. I don't
have to go anywhere, other than first thing this morning when I had to get
David to church so he could head up with the junior highers. This is his first week of actual work up
there.
He's been
having a harder time lately, which makes for a harder time for me. He's finally agreed to some counseling and
that's scheduled to start next week. I
think he'll be ok, long-term, but it's just getting through right now that's
kind of hard when you're 16 and have lost your dad, and have a lot of little
siblings, an older brother who's not really "older," care-wise,
another super-star older brother, some learning struggles, and an impatient, stressed-out mom.
David did do
fantastic with Driver's Ed. My concern
was the academic end of things because that accounted for 75% of the classroom
grade. On his final test he scored a
94%! He still has two more driving times
to do with his instructor, but he's actually quite good at the driving. Unfortunately, we found out that the state
tweaked the driving requirements this last year and now David can't get his
license until he's had his permit for a year...which is a bummer because that
won't be until mid-November. I guess that
gives me more time to find him a car, though!
Driver's Ed
lasted for 2 1/2 weeks. During that
time, Sam and Lizzie were also taking swimming lessons. They passed with flying colors, those little
fish of mine. On the last day, the
instructors had the kids jumping off the diving board, just for fun, mostly. They went feet first and the instructors were
in the water to catch them. There were
some kids actually crying and shaking when it was their turn. Their moms were standing on the other side of
the fence yelling encouragements. I was
kind of laughing evilly (internally) at them as my two asked their instructors
to "get out of the way so I can really jump far!" But I've been where those other moms have
been, too. Neither Ben nor David took to
the water very easily when they were little.
So, anyway, I'm
glad the classes are out of the way.
That was a lot of running around every morning for those couple of
weeks.
*****************************
A week ago Sam
began relating to me something that had happened in Sunday School. He was seated at the table, another boy was
beside him, and on the other side of that classmate was another boy, also
named, "Sam." The middle boy's
mom happened to poke her head in the classroom and joked, "Oh, look - it's
a 'Samwich'!" Sam told me this and
I smiled in appreciation, seeing the humor.
Sam looked straight at me and continued, "Yeah, I didn't think it
was very funny."
Oh, Sam...
That same
morning, we were almost home from church and we always pass the cemetery as we
drive into town. Almost every single
time, one of the kids, usually Ellie, asks, "Can we see Daddy?" She did this and without missing a beat,
Lizzie deadpans from the backseat, "I don't think Daddy want to see you,
Ellie."
It was all I
could do to choke on my laughter and not drive into the ditch! This last week has actually been a lot better for her, behavior-wise...which makes for happier mom!
**********************************
The 4th of July
was fine this year. We went to the
parade in Pleasantville. It was
good. The last time we had been to that
was 2 years ago, less than a month after Paul's death. I still remember how numb I felt that
morning, going through the motions of what we always did on the 4th, but
feeling so utterly empty inside. I
wasn't so empty this year. We had a good
time.
That evening we
went to our neighbor's annual 4th of July party. It's free food and I want to keep friendly
relations with these people because I like them. But...it's not my scene. It's a lot of unsaved people steadily getting
drunker and drunker and the only conversation that gets made is very
superficial stuff. I was glad when I
could gracefully exit.
Then I took the
kids down to the Pville fireworks. That hurt my heart a little more. The last time we had been there, it was with
Paul. We ended up running into some
friends who have a 5 year old and they were on the ball enough to stock up on
glow sticks and sparklers (I'm not a big fan of the latter. They scare me. But Paul always bought them for the kids and
I don't recall anyone ever actually getting burned). So my Littles were delighted. The fireworks show was, of course, amazing. There's something about small Iowa towns that
know how to do up the 4th right.
*********************************
More on Go Fund
Me accounts: Since my last post, I've
heard back from a couple of my readers who also detest these
things. I am not alone! Just last week I had ones come across my feed
requesting help with college tuition (for an advanced degree, no less), asking
for money to buy a new roof because the family earns under $25K a year and
can't afford it, barely having squeezed into the mortgage itself (isn't there a
verse in Proverbs about a man who sets out to build a wall, but doesn't see if
he has all the needed supplies first, or something like that?), and one for
help paying off creditors from a deceased husband's hospitalizations. The kicker was one I saw requesting money to
cremate Grandpa. I am not kidding. So is Grandpa on ice while they wait to raise
the money? How does that even work?
I'm not trying
to be snobby, I'm really not. The last
two years I have been the recipient of many, many financial gifts, for which I
am profoundly grateful. We all have
times in our lives when we need help and as Christians, we need to be unselfish
and sensitive to God's leading in responding to our brothers and sisters during
their times of need. But I liken these
accounts to the people I encounter at stoplights, peering into your vehicle and
holding up cardboard signs that read, "Please help - God bless." That makes me so uncomfortable and so
do these sites.
In comparison:
I have a friend who is having a double mastectomy tomorrow at age 39. This is her second round of breast cancer in
two years. Things do not look good and
this is a last-ditch attempt to give her more time with her family. A relative set up a GoFundMe account over the
weekend and her husband announced on FB last night that he had taken the site
down and they were just going to "trust God for our needs." This is the kind of heart that makes me want
to give, not when it's thrust on me while I'm scrolling through FB.
Alright, enough
on that...
*****************************
Last
week I got Lizzie's lunch ready, gave it to her and exhorted, "Eat,drink,
and be merry!" She frowned at me
and said plaintively, "But I don't want to get married!"
Also,
one day, she curiously asked David, "Do you have wires on your nipples
yet?" He looked at her strangely
and said slowly, "No-o-o..."
She then explained that "Well, Will has wires and I was just
wondering if you do."
I
really shouldn't laugh, should I?
****************************
I had
to deal a small bit with Paul's family again this week. I didn't realize until I had to handle this
just how much I have managed to let them go.
I wouldn't say that's true, entirely.
I do check FB pages from time to time, just to see if anything is being
said about me (that's a pretty rare occurrence, thankfully). I'm still very saddened but I've been making
a concentrated effort the past few months to not let this situation overly
occupy my thoughts. It has brought me
such relief. Burdens of the heart are especially
heavy. Fortunately, I have a wonderful
pastor who is willing to go before me and handle this. I am so thankful. And who knows...maybe reconciliation will
happen at some point. I pray so.
**************************
My
parents came down this weekend, which was so nice. The kids were excited and counting the
days. Dad brought my new hamper, which
was awesome. I put a picture of that on
FB last night and got all sorts of comments.
I think we just invented something!
Right now, it's fun throwing dirty clothing in there, even.
Will
and Arien were home from camp, too. It
had been five or six weeks and it will be another five before Will is home for
good. So Dad made this big lunch and I
picked up some Iowa sweet corn (none better) and we had a wonderful time of
eating and enjoying one another.
Will
and Arien spent most of their afternoon on the basement couches looking through
the scrapbooks I've made over the years.
That was gratifying - all that work is being enjoyed by someone other
than me. Actually, they came up with the
idea of getting to know eachother better by going through family photos. I remember looking through the Heywoods'
photos when Paul and I were dating and appreciating that so much, although Paul and I didn't do it
together.
And
now it's a quiet, hot, Monday afternoon.
Thank you, Lord, for air conditioning!
I don't need to cook supper tonight because I have lots of meatloaf and
ham left over from Dad's cooking. I'm
just walking around, slowly, trying to lose this headache, and checking things
off my to-do list. I am so thankful to
be in a stage of life where I don't have to go to work every day. I can stay home with my kids and move slowly on days like today when
I'm not feeling the greatest.
David
will be home next week, but he's going to be gone, including this week, a total
of four weeks. I've been coming up with
some fun things the other kids and I could do during this time as we count down
the weeks until the start of school. It
will be fun to surprise them with those.
Best of all - none of them are outdoor activities! I could seriously live my entire life indoors.
Saturday
night is Single Parent Provision. I
can't wait!
Well,
back to my list and puttering around the house, I guess...
Seven
weeks from today is the first day of school.
That will be a big day!
Just a different thought on the GoFundMe's. I like them. I guess my FB friends don't have many as they rarely cross my feed, but when they do -- I pray, and if I think maybe we should contribute I talk to my husband, and if he agrees, we give. It is a much simpler task than reading about someone's situation and thinking "Oh, I'd love to give but now I have to find an address and put a check in an envelope." That is a barrier. A couple of months ago, there was a story out of Texas about a relatively low income family that welcomed triplet girls into their family, 2 of whom are conjoined. I LOOKED for a GoFundMe and there was one, and we gave a little bit. So...I agree some GoFundMe's are annoying, definitely. But I just ignore some, pray for others, give to a few. I guess it doesn't bother me to ignore them if I need to :-).
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