Shredded Tires and Surrender

Well, I tried to move this picture down, so I wouldn't have to address it right away, but this new blogger format is not letting me do that and I don't have time to play with it.  So, anyway - that's me on Mother's Day.  I'm not sure what Ben is chewing in his mouth or if that's just his tongue sticking out the side.  But of the 3 pictures Paul took of all of us, this one was the least objectionable, so here it is!

Remember what I said about this week getting less busy towards the end?  Well, forget that - I'm not going to catch a break at all this week.  Things have changed!  More on that later!

I went to Council Bluffs on Sat. to spend the day with Kathy.  We had a wonderful day.  Kathy is what I would refer to, in an Anne of Green Gables way,  as a "kindred spirit."  We are so alike in so many ways and have this marvelous relationship where we can go months and months without talking or writing and pick up where we left off.  Not that we should go months and months without communicating, but we have 9 kids between us and life gets in the way!   I even picked up my own Mother's Day present while out there, unknowingly.  Paul asked me to swing out by our old pastor's house and pick up a "box."  I've learned not to ask too many questions around holidays so I did as he asked.  I was leaving town around 7:30 and all of a sudden, my back tire shredded.  I immediately pulled over and called Paul's folks.  To my amazement, I found myself just praising God for the timing.  This had not happened earlier when I was driving Kathy and myself around town.  It had not happened halfway between Des Moines and Council Bluffs, but just right there in town on the interstate.  A few years ago I would have sat there, mad as all get out at Paul for not anticipating that this might happen. Maybe I am maturing!   Paul's dad came and we ended up driving the van down to Walmart and they were able to put a new tire on for me.  The tire we had on there was new (to us - used by someone else) but apparently it was defective!  So I didn't get home until close to midnight.

It was quite an explosion.  The exploding rubber made a fist-sized hole in the side of my van (grrr) and broke off part of the bumper.  The nice guy at Walmart tied it up for me, though.  Our van passed the 200,000 mile mark early this spring and I'm not sure how much longer it will last.  I'm praying it will last indefinitely because we really cannot afford to replace it right now.  I did stop at some auto parts place yesterday and bought some anti-rust stuff and some matching paint so hopefully I can disguise my aging van - kind of like putting make-up on an old crone?  I don't know!

I was so grateful for Saturday (well, not the van part, but the rest of it) because I was a bit bummed as the weekend approached.  I had prayed so earnestly that God would give us our kids by Mother's Day.  But as the weekend approached that looked less and less likely to happen.  I don't even think Paul realized how much I had pinned on things happening by Sunday.  Someone dear to my heart did, though, and wrote me the most encouraging note as we got into the weekend.  That note carried me through, I think!

Sunday morning our pastor talked about Hannah.  I've heard more than one Mother's Day sermon on Hannah over the years.  She and the Proverbs 31 woman seem to be popular subjects on that Sunday!  As Pastor talked I found myself really relating to Hannah.  Of course, I did that all those years when I prayed to become pregnant after David and couldn't.  That's how Sam got his name!  But here I am again, praying for a child who is slow in coming.  As he talked I found myself surrendering the whole thing.  I told the Lord that morning that I will wait for as long as I need to (like I have a choice) but I will wait peaceably, trying to remember that God has this!  In His time, He will give us another child - if that is His will.  And if it's not, I need to be ok with that, too.  I felt much better after the morning service - more at peace.

And now I have children coming right and left!  The last two days I have fielded more calls and emails about respite care than I ever anticipated!  We're taking a brother/sister duo this weekend.  And then we have a 7r old coming Monday.  He'll be here for an entire week.  He's also coming back later in June for 5 days.   Then, I have a week off (and I WILL have a week off - too many other things going on that week to watch kids) and then I'll have my two respite toddlers I had in March for another week.  It also looks like I'm going to have their older siblings for two of those days.  Whew!

So, perhaps God wants us to focus on temporarily caring for children for awhile until the ones he wants us to keep (so to speak) become available.  I guess that's ok. 

I'll have to make sure I keep popping vitamins in order to keep up with all this extra busyness around our house!  I have not gotten to bed at a decent time since last Thursday night.  Last night I finally fell into bed around 11:30 and then I could NOT fall asleep.  I don't know what the deal was with that.  It took me about an hour.  Paul has difficulty staying asleep all night, thanks to the med he has been on since last fall.  It's working amazing for controlling his seizures but the drawback is that he wakes frequently, esp. in the early morning hours.  He accidentally woke me up at 5:30 this morning and then I could not fall back asleep, even though I had only had less than 5 hours of sleep.  I re-set my alarm (I thought) and did fall back asleep, awaking at 7:20, 5 minutes before Ben's bus is scheduled to arrive!  I flew out of bed, but fortunately, Paul and Ben had managed just fine.  Ben was dressed in matching clothes, deodorized, hair combed, and food in his tummy.  I really wasn't needed!  I'll be up late again tonight because I have a story I want to write for FaithWriters.  I did that again last week for the first time in a long time - felt so good.  I think I know now that I need to be writing regularly.  I'm hoping I can get some good sleep Thursday night because I won't be getting a lot on Friday.  Yep - lots of vitamins!

Something interesting as I wrap this up: I saw on the news this week that they just released the top name picks for last year for new babies.  "William" is number three on the list.  I was shocked!  I didn't think that had ever been popular.  Well, actually, I think they said it had been 67 years since that name had made it on the list.  That would be about right, I think!  I like picking "normal" names for my kids but I always hoped they would be a little unusual, at least in the sense that if they ever went to school they wouldn't have three other kids in their class with the same name! I don't know too many other kids with Will's name, but I guess in another decade or so there will be a bunch of teenagers running around with that moniker!  Wonder if any of them will be called "Bill"?  I think that nickname has totally fallen by the wayside, kind of like "Dick" and "Bernie" and "Gordon."  Some names just need to be retired, anyway...