Tuesday, August 9, 2011


Will is home for good - hence, this picture. Actually, this was taken the Sunday before he left for his last two weeks up at camp. Sam and I went and got him, along with another camper on Friday. That pretty much took up my whole day.

Will came back and immediately got into some poison ivy. I thought he'd gotten into it up at camp, but apparently, it was from pulling weeds around here on Sat. He was so miserable by Sunday night. It was all over his face. So I finally just took him to the ER at Blank at 11:30 that night. I don't think it was an emergency, but he couldn't sleep and I really wasn't going to have time to take him anywhere on Monday. Plus, he was to start football practice first thing Mon. and I wanted to know if it was even ok for him to do that with this stuff all over his body (it was). So, he's on steroids and Benedryl now, along with $20 worth of creams I bought yesterday for him. Now, Sam has something going on on his left leg. He's got a couple of really hard yellow blisters and a rash, along with a couple of deep scrapes. I don't know what it is! If it's still bad tomorrow, I'm going to see if the dr. can see him when I take Ben in for his allergy shots. In the meantime, I'm treating it as if it is poison ivy, too - minus the steroids.

I leave the day after tomorrow for my Michigan trip! I'm starting to get excited - still nervous about the solo flying, but excited for the trip. I feel like my writing is in such a rut - I'm hoping what I learn will shake that up. Plus, it is going to be so much fun to spend time with Kristi!

I have been struggling with depression for the last month, too, which is really unusual for me. Perhaps this get-away will loosen the hold that this blackness has on me? I feel like I've been living on St. John's Wort for weeks now and I've even contemplated getting a prescription. But I had a bad experience with Zoloft about 10 years ago and I've never wanted to be on anti-depressants since. It's just very irritating because my normal self is generally pretty happy and content with life and when that is suddenly not my first nature anymore, it makes me even more depressed! Needless to say, I am quickly developing an empathy for those that struggle with this condition on a daily basis for most of their lives. Ugh! I hope this passes quickly!

A number of years ago, like back in the 80s, the rage in Christian circles was to figure out your "personality" type, based on 4 predominate personalities. I knew then that I was what they called a "Melancholy", but I had strong Choleric parts to my personality as well. Well, I think the Melancholy is finally taking over. Sigh...Not that being one is a bad thing, necessarily, but I do think they are more prone to depressive episodes. I should find that book sometime from the library and read up again on the personalities, just for fun - or insight.

I got the results back on my Factor V Leiden test - negative. I was so sure that I had it and I found myself disappointed with the results. I wanted a reason for my stroke 4 years ago and had so hoped that this was it. But I guess it's not. So, that means that the possibility of another stroke is still hanging over my head, as I guess it probably will all my life. But, I could also get hit by a mack truck tomorrow (or die in a plane crash) - there are no guarantees of anything in life! The boys are pleased though, because they were not thrilled with the idea of getting tested themselves.

I took the boys in for their 6 month dental check-ups last week. No cavities, but the dentist is telling me that David is probably going to need braces at some point. I questioned him about his lower teeth, which are a concern. They are coming in awfully crooked. His top ones aren't so bad. So, now I have a referral for an orthodontist. I still need to call him. The dentist said there's no real hurry on this (good!), but I suppose we should plan on using some of (or all) next year's flex spending money for it. I am not sure what insurance will cover. David is kind of freaking out about the possibility, but I'm not going to ruin his chances of snagging a good wife because he doesn't have a nice smile!

Last Monday I was at the school, dropping off Ben's registration and my CPI forms for the other boys. I ran into the mother of one Ben's classmates and so I struck up a superficial conversation with her. I asked if they had gone anywhere this summer and she sadly shook her head. I immediately felt like an idiot because her son is very, very autistic and has some extremely difficult behaviors. They probably have difficulty going anywhere, let alone on vacation. So, I contritely said, "Oh, it's probably hard for you to go anywhere, isn't it?" She shook her head again and burst out, "My husband left me this summer!" Oh! I felt horrible! I hugged her and told her how sorry I was. We ended up becoming Facebook friends and have been chatting back and forth over the last week. But wow - and I think I have reasons to feel depressed!

It looks like we are re-financing our house. I'm letting Paul take care of that. I have enough to worry about. With the bank we are going with, we'll even cut 3 years off our mortgage, without raising our payments. But now he's on a tear now to get things fixed up before the appraiser comes out in a week and a half. We've debated about moving and that may still happen at some point, but I think we're going to wait until Ben is closer to finishing school. And, rather than sell this house, we'd really like to turn it into a rental property at some point. But for now, it's just our house.

Last week when I got Will we stopped at a Subway and Sam announced that he could "read" my cup. I asked him what it said and he began to spell out, "S...U...B...W...A...Y" I said, "So what does that spell?" Sam triumphantly announced, "It says, 'pop'!"

Well, I had better keep moving. I am meeting a friend of mine from church for lunch. She's actually a 23 year old college student, pursuing her masters in music. She and I struck up a friendship a few years ago and now she wants me to help her find some clothes for this next year of school. She may know music, but I know fashion! Well, I know fashion for 40 year olds, that is. I'm not sure how much help I'll actually be!

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