Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Sleepless in Swan

Today has been one rough day. I think a lot of my posts express that sentiment! Oh, but it has. I had such good intentions last night. My plan was to get to bed early, get up early and do my walking, and then make a big pancake and bacon breakfast for everyone. They all got cold cereal today. Ben would NOT go to sleep last night. He kept coming downstairs, complaining that he couldn't sleep. I gave him a melatonin. Finally, when I was drifting off he came down asking if he could sleep on the couch. I don't let the boys do that normally, but he caught me when I was already asleep, so he took my "umphh" as "Yes, please do, Ben!" I was woke up again sometime in there by him complaining he couldn't sleep. Then, around 2am the blue light from the tv awakened me (our bedroom is right off the livingroom). I came charging out of the room and Ben said innocently, "I just wanted to know what was on late night tv, Mom!" Argh! Save me from my children! Then, a few hours later he started in with the wailing, which is something that happens when he is overly tired. It's high-pitched, uncontrollable sobbing. Sleep is on the only remedy for it. This went off and on for about 5 hours. During this time Sam awakened. Paul, bless him, went and dealt with him. He was upstairs for a long time. I bet he fell asleep beside his bed. We got maybe an hour of sleep and then Ben started wailing again. And then Sam showed up in our bedroom, blanket and bottle in hand. I pulled him into bed with us, but didn't get much sleep after that. Paul did turn off my alarm and I awakened about 7:40, hearing Ben wailing in the kitchen while Paul got his own breakfast. I snapped at him, "You get upstairs and don't you come down until you've slept!" and took a shower. Before Paul left for work I overheard him talking to Ben upstairs and I heard him say, "Now, Mom's a bit cranky today..." Oh! That man! I informed him when he came down that Mom had good reason to be cranky and Paul replied, "I didn't say you didn't! I was just telling Ben it would be best if he stayed up in his room for awhile and got some rest!" He probably thought I was going to murder the child if we didn't keep some space between us!

That really set the tone for the whole day. I have heard that when the pressure is on (like having had no sleep the night before) what comes out is not a result of the pressure, but reveals, instead, what's in the heart. That doesn't speak well for my inner character, I can tell you! Ben never did sleep. All day long he's been apologizing for not sleeping. He's very fixated on it and can't get past it. It's a classic autism trait, when the brain gets "stuck" on a single thought. We did talk about it and I think some of the problem is that when Paul put in new windows, the shades came down. They won't be up again until he gets the drywall in. So, I'm going to string up a dark blanket around Ben's bed to block any light. We even stopped at the Christian book store today and got a praise and worship lullaby cd. I'll put that in and hopefully Ben will drift off to sweet slumber for many hours, as a result. David is mortified that we bought a lullaby cd for Ben. He's convinced all his friends will find out and make fun of him as a result (rolling eyeballs here).

Like the picture? Last weekend we had a family reunion - just us siblings, our families, and my parents. My one sister in law couldn't make it, though. She's on bedrest, trying to keep her baby girl from coming too early. Hopefully, I'll be reporting the happy news on that soon - but not too soon! It was a nice day. We have 4 older boys - my first 3 and my brother Andy's girlfriend's 13 yr old, Lennon (I still consider him my nephew) who all played together nicely. And then are 3 little boys. Jake, Matt's son, is 4, Zeke, Andy's son, is 3, and then there is Sam, who is almost 2. So they enjoyed eachother, running around. I brought footballs and toy guns and the boys were set for the day! That's Andy with the dreadlocks. He just turned 33. Matt is in the middle. He turned 36 Sunday. And there's me on the end. I'm 38. And a half.

While we were there Ava, Andy's girlfriend, and I were talking mini-vans. She became a convert this last year when they bought their first one. She was admiring our's and I commented that our's has a built-in car seat. Well, what I meant by that was that it has a toddler's seat. The one seat on the end bumps out and has a clip for a seatbelt. So we've been using a regular car seat for Sam until he got old enough for the other one. Ava said, "Oh yeah, I see that!" and she reaches in and pulled open the seat, revealing a full, baby carseat, with a harness! I about fell over - we have had this van for 5 months and I had no idea that thing was hidden in there! So we've been using that all week and it's been so nice not to have to mess with a bulky car seat!

Well, my dr's appointment went just fine last Friday. I found out that I am actually quite healthy. I'm deficient in Vit. D, however, so now I'm taking 5000 ius of that a day. I'm estrogen heavy, as well, which indicates that I am in peri-menopause. Writing that makes me feel terribly old. Menopause and me are two words that shouldn't even belong together! The main problem is with my uterus. My lining is terribly, terribly thick. A normal one measures 5ml. Mine measured 2.5 centimeters. So the plan is that I will repeat the ultrasound, just to make sure their findings were accurate. Then, I'll be having an HSG (where they shoot dye up into your uterus - I had one before I got pg with David) to see if there are any polyps hiding behind the lining. After that, I'll have a D & C, in hopes that we can scrape it out. If that doesn't work, then I'm looking at a hysterectomy. So, it looks like I'll be taking off my pants a lot in the coming months!

This coming weekend we are headed up to northern Iowa, to Lake Okabojee. Isn't that a funny name? There's a resort up there so we're going to spend a long weekend enjoying that. It's one of those time-share presentation deals again. I don't mind taking advantage of these things. The presentations aren't that long and we have gotten some nice freebies on our trips by participating. In fact, this whole weekend is free, other than our gas and meals, of course. My mom says we had better watch out - one of these years we might actually say "yes" to the presentation. I don't think so! I am looking forward to the time away with just Paul and the boys.

Will's team won their game again this week. I didn't go, but Paul and the boys did. I had a parent support meeting at Advanced Therapy that I didn't want to miss. Will's coach called me the other day to let me know what time Will needed to be at the school and he asked me how Will was enjoying football. He's such a nice man! Will's fame is a fundraiser, the school takes pictures of the athletes and makes them into buttons and then the students can buy whichever player they want. So our little kindergarten neighbor boy bought one of Will's and excitedly came over the day, wanting Will to autograph it for him! I think Will's chest puffed out a little bit on that one...

Yesterday, when I dropped Will off for practice, Ben asked what the short buses were used for at the school. We were driving around the back of the school where they keep their bus barn. I carefully explained how they were used for transporting special needs students. I wanted to make sure I explained it just right, in a way that wouldn't make Ben feel bad about himself. But then David piped up, "Yeah, like you, Ben!" Where's the duct tape when I need it?!

Time to get in my other home (my van) and go get Will from practice!


  1. Sarah,
    Andy sure does look a lot different these days from when I remembered him!
    Sweet dreams tonight! I hope you have a better night.

  2. Hi Sarah, I'm Kay Mathwig's sister-in-law - she told me I should check out your blog a while back as she has been reading mine too. I have peeked in on you several times now & thought I'd come out & say HI! I guess your whole peri-menopause situation struck a chord with me - I too am estrogen dominant and have dealt with poly-cystic ovaries probably all my "womanly" life. I have been thru an HSG as well... Recently my naturopathic doctor suggested progesterone cream for me - 3 weeks a month & one week off --- and it helped with my cycles ... well, so much so that I got PREGNANT - SUPRISE!! :) Anyway, just wanted to mention it (not for getting pregnant) because I have done some research on how it helps thru the peri-menopausal stuff. Blessings to your family,