It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

That's Ben with his grandma at the State Fair last week. He had a dr's appt. this week. They measured him and his height is up to 5'8" now. That's a full two inches taller than I am. All these boys are going to end up towering over me. Even last night at Will's football game I noticed that he is as tall as or taller than the majority of his teammates - which is to be expected, I guess, now that he's a junior.

I am in the throes of allergy suffering now. I'm going to try not to complain too much about it because it happens every August and it will go away sometime in Oct. I'm used to this. But right now I'm not sleeping well, my body hurts, my eyes feel like they have sand in them, I sneeze all the time and I'm drifting through my days in a drug-induced haze. Bear that in mind as you read anything I write in the next few weeks - no doubt, it will be colored by my physical laments. If it's just strange, then that's the drugs talking!

Ben got back to school on Tuesday. He was so happy to be there, his aide told me. I'm not surprised! I did start homeschooling the other two this week. I think they got a couple days in. I'm trying to work more with Sam this year since he'll be 4 in a couple of months. He wants to do certain things, like recite his letters, because he knows them. But he is resisting doing anything with numbers or learning to write his letters. I'm not too worried about it. I'd rather he spend most of his time doing hands-on learning, anyway - namely, playing. Someone from church gave us a bike for him a few weeks ago with training wheels. At first Sam was really intimidated by it but his dad and David have worked with him on it and he's gotten to the point where he can ride around our driveway. But he can't figure out braking and so he runs into the back stoop to stop! I offered to teach him how to use the brakes but he told me he'd rather just run into that thing instead. Ok! So if he wants to spend most of his day doing things like that, I'm good with it.

We got some sobering news at the end of this week. A mom in our congregation - just three years older than me - has been diagnosed with brain cancer. She's had terrible headaches all summer, I knew, but I assumed it was just migraines, with which I am too familiar. Nobody knows yet what the dr's are predicting for an outcome, but it sure doesn't sound very good right now. We know this family quite well. We're not really friends with them, but my heart just aches for them. They've got 4 kids, all pre-teens and teenagers. I can easily put myself in her shoes and I know it's not the possibility of dying young that would bother me. It's leaving my kids without a mom that would be upsetting. But yet, I have to wonder - is that arrogance? Shouldn't I trust that if God were to call me home at a younger age, He would also take good care of my children? But still, you can't deny that losing a parent in childhood has got to have a profound effect on one's life. Pray for the Brace family.

I'm supposed to write a cheerful, encouraging devotional for a blog this weekend, but now this news is on my heart. Between that and physically feeling crummy, I'm not quite sure how I'm going to do that. I found out that FaithWriters has a daily devotional blog. Different members contribute every day. Kristi told me about it. Her posts come out on the 20th of every month. She told me last week that they have an opening, so I contacted the moderator, and now I'm in! Now I just have to come up with something people want to read. When my first post goes up I'll be sure to let you all know so you can see it.

Will's first football game of the season was last night. Like last year, he's playing both JV and Varsity, which means two games a week, every Monday and Friday. I think that's going to kill us, financially! I spent $14 just getting in last night. And a lot of these games are an hour away or so, which is extra gas expense. The team is not very big this year, so much so that this is the last year of their 1-A rating. Next year they go to just "A." I didn't know there was anything smaller than a 1-A! Will did get quite a bit of playing time last night. He's not a real aggressive player, which I think probably has a lot to do with his personality in general. He's so laid-back and gentle that he has difficulty, I think, turning into a mean football machine out on the field. But several times I did see him him plow into an opponent and I'd get all excited and cheer. And then, at one point, I saw one of the other guys try to take him down and I found myself feeling all offended. Silly mommy! You can't take the "mom" part out of "football mom," I guess!

The boys lost night. I knew it was going to be a rough night when the opponent scored a touch-down in the first 30 seconds of the game! Of course, they were playing Carlisle, which isn't even a 1-A school. They just do this first game for fun, although I think it does count. It's called the "Highway 5 Rivalry Game" since both schools are located within 15 minutes of eachother and both are located just off Highway 5.

I had been chatting with one woman next to me on the bleachers during the game. She works in the high school as an associate for a student with Downs Syndrome. That girl, incidentally, is one of the cheerleaders - I love watching her! Well, she knows I'm Ben's mom and that I homeschool the other boys so we were talking. In the course of our conversation I discovered that she is a Christian, which was neat to find out! Then, she leaned towards me and said, "I could never let my son out on the field to play. I don't know how these mothers do it!" I just smiled and said something about trusting the Lord to protect them. Then a look of horror crossed her face and she said, "Oh no! Does your son play?!" I told her he did and which number he is. She exclaimed, "I never would have said that if I had known!" I just laughed because I truly was not offended. I honestly don't worry about Will getting injured on the field. It could happen, obviously, but a lot of things could happen that never do.

I was lucky, later, that I didn't offend this same woman! The dance team came out and performed a couple of numbers. I was bothered by this because I felt that the moves were awfully sexual in nature, just the ways the girls were moving their bodies. Maybe I'm a fuddy duddy or hyper-sensitive because I have boys, but it bugged me. The lady beside me leaned in closer to say something and I honestly expected her to say something along those same lines, since I knew she was now a Christian. Instead, she pointed out her daughter to me who was on the field performing on the team! Ai-yi-yi! I'm glad I let her talk and didn't open my mouth too quickly!

Paul is at the men's retreat this weekend. I had decided long ago that I would not be going this year to the ladies' retreat because I was spending money on my Michigan trip and it would be better to stagger the expense of those two trips (our church retreats cost $45, which is a chunk of change when you're counting every penny). So, a few weeks ago Paul asked me if I was going to the Ladies' Retreat and I told him I wasn't. Feeling virtuous, I opened my mouth to tell him why I wasn't going. But before I could speak he said, "Good! Then I'll go to Men's retreat!" Well, so much for saving money! This year they were offering target shooting and he was particularly excited about that. He even had to call me last night to tell me how good he had done! He'll be home sometime tonight.

Well, off to sniffle some more while I run through my to-do list...

Fair Fun, Bad Bodies, and Melancholy Musings

I entitled my last post, "Whirlwind" because the weekend I was writing about was just that - a whirlwind of activity in a short period of time. That's what I could call this entire week that just ended, too. My goodness, it was busy! I am hopeful that this next week will be easier - maybe. I had wanted to sit down with my notes from the weekend and re-absorb them all. I wanted to develop a plan for building my "platform" (magazine and blog article successes that a future agent will look at when deciding whether or not to represent you and your finished book). But I didn't get any of that done. This next week is the start of school, both for Ben and hopefully for the other boys. Why I think I'm going to get anything extra done with that going on, I don't know. Unless, maybe falling back into a routine will enable me to get more done. I don't know!

I actually did get everything done on today's "to-do" list. But that's because I gave myself a shortened list. I'm not sure that counts!

Paul's parents came up yesterday to go to the state fair with us. Why a set of 70 somethings would think it's fun to tramp miles all over a hot fairground, I have no idea. I certainly do not enjoy it, and I can't imagine being 30 years older than I am now and being willing to do such a thing. So, of course, I had to spend Thursday cleaning my house. Then we went to the fair yesterday. This year, the weather has actually been milder than normal during the fair. But when you're out in the sun all day, it's still hot. I just really do not enjoy the fair, although most Iowans seem to think it's the best thing since fried twinkies on a stick. Actually, this year's newest "stick" item was fried butter on a stick. That has got to be one disgusting treat! But anyway, the vendors don't change, the animals don't change, the long walking doesn't change. But yet, I keep getting dragged back again and again.

They spent half of today at our house, too, playing board games with the boys. I made a nice lunch and then had to rush off to attend a bridal shower for a friend. They assured me that they would be gone by the time I came home, but they weren't. They were all playing Yahtzee when I walked in.

I think the boys had fun at the fair. Will upgraded his phone at the US Cellular booth and added texting to his line. He's paying for it himself! Ben contented himself with a foot-long sucker that left sticky trails all over his face and neck. David waited all day to buy himself some cotton candy, and I found a sturdy hand-made wooden sword (only $5!) for Sam at one display area. I'm glad somebody enjoyed themselves! Afterwards, we all went to Pizza Hut and I about fell asleep right in my cheese.

My feet and legs were just throbbing when I went to bed last night but they weren't too bad today. That's good because I had enough other aches and pains. My sciatic nerve flared up earlier this week and it's always the worst in the morning, after I've been laying down all night. It's not waking me up in the night any more when I roll over so I know the inflammation is going down, but it's still pretty painful. And then Thursday I dropped my iron on big toe and just smashed it. Fortunately, it wasn't a hot iron. I knocked it off the dryer and it went flying onto my foot. There was blood everywhere - completely ripped away all the skin from the nail. It's nasty - and painful!

Sam has had his share of troubles this week, too. When I came back Sunday night I was alarmed to see how inflamed his poison ivy rash had gotten in my absence. In fact, after I gave him a bath on Sunday evening he just screamed and screamed for a good half hour. Now, I think some of that was him "playing" me, but he definitely wasn't comfortable. I was all set to take him to the ER, but then he did calm down enough to go to sleep. The next day I took him to his doctor. On top of the poison ivy, he had a secondary infection - pus all over his little leg. So we started a steroid/antibiotic cream regimen. He's been bandaged up like a mummy all week long, but he's definitely on the mend now. It never did spread to his face - just his arms and legs.

And we got troubling news about Will's ears this week. We have known for 4 years that he has a hearing loss in his left ear. But I think I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that the dr. who did his sports physical in July thought he had a loss in his right ear, as well. So on Tues. of this week both of us went to see Dr. Greiman, my ENT up at Mercy. Since I am deaf in my right ear and getting older, my left ear hearing is slowly fading. Actually, my report came back good again this year - very little change from last year's test.

But then they put Will in the sound booth and it just about broke my heart to hear the recorded voice instructing Will to say certain words and he was mute because he didn't hear them. I don't mind being half-deaf myself, but I hate that my child is! I have managed to cope just fine and I suppose Will will, too. He's not going to have any choice, but I just hate that he has to deal with this. Anyway, the dr. said that Will has the hearing of a 40 year old man. His left ear is quite severely damaged and the right has some loss as well, although not nearly so much as the other. He's probably going to need hearing aids within the next few years. However, the dr. does not think it is hereditary. He believes Will's loss was caused by loud noises and mine by a fever I had as a baby.

He gave a lot of suggestions for protecting the rest of Will's hearing. I was ready to have him hang up his gun, but the dr. told us that there is a product that should enable him to still be able to hunt. It's called "Game Ears" and apparently it's some sort of headset that actually amplifies the approach of the deer and then shuts down when a gun is fired, protecting the ears. But Will HAS to protect his hearing around power tools (we got him some earplugs on a string to wear) and when listening to music. Even before his appointment, Will went to Walmart and bought some over the ear earphones to replace his earbuds. Although, he has always been really careful when using his mp3 player. It's Ben's ears I ought to worry about when it comes to music.

In the big scheme of things, hearing loss is not that big of a deal compared to other things - including some of the things his brother has to deal with, physically. And I don't think anyone gets through life without having something go wrong with their bodies. But I don't have to like it. And I don't!

We are getting our house re-financed now. The appraiser comes next Friday. So Paul has been working like a madman, trying to get things done enough for the house to appraise where we need it to. He finished the little bit of sanding around the office door and got paint on it. He hung some more shelves up for me out here in the office. He and Will got the wall frame built for the basement and I think they're stringing the electrical and putting up the styrofoam as I type this.He even stuck some drywall up over the bare wall out in the stairwell over the basement steps. The kitchen is getting pushed out that way when we start remodeling it but he thought it would look better for the appraiser with the drywall up. He's so busy. He has a number of side jobs to be moving on, as well. Actually, I'm grateful because hours are thin right now and the side jobs are the only way that we're able to pay the bills. But his head is just swimming with all these details and trying to figure out what to do when. Tomorrow he'll miss his Sunday nap again. One of our neighbors broke his hip earlier this summer when his giant dog knocked him down. His son, who lives with him, has hired Paul to extend out a deck and build a wheelchair ramp for when his dad comes home - which should be happening this week. So Paul has to spend tomorrow afternoon at Menards buying the material for that. I'm grateful, though - grateful for the way God is providing our needs and grateful for my hard-working husband.

I had another thought about the FaithWriter's conference I wanted to share. There was one unique factor about this gathering of people. Normally, when I am in a group of people, there's a good mix of talkers and non-talkers, extroverts and introverts. I used to be more extroverted (as Paul once said, I used to be "fun"!). But age and maybe maturity has changed that over the years. I'm much quieter, especially in a group setting, now. I'm not one to speak just for the sake of hearing my own voice and I am not the person greeting somebody new. Like I said a couple of weeks ago, my Melancholy is really showing these days! But at this conference, there was a whole lot of standing around and looking at eachother. Oh, there were a couple of more spirited women there, but for the most part, everyone was pretty quiet. If a conversation was struck up, then there would be chattering, but it wasn't what you could call vivacious. I puzzled on this a bit and then it hit me: most of these women (and a few men that were there) were just like me! That's what gives us all our creative and sometimes moody edge. Duh! It was definitely a unique gathering.

Well, I think I am headed for a bath. The boys are all eagerly watching IPTV, which airs coverage of the previous day of the state fair. Since we went yesterday, they are hoping to catch glimpses of themselves on tv. There were only 10,000 people there - I'm sure they'll see themselves!

I do need to get Sam to bed. He didn't nap at all. Right now he is alternately standing on, lifting, and sitting on a watermelon that Paul's mom brought for us. I'm thinking this can't end well. I just mopped Thursday - don't want to do it again any time soon. Uh, oh - the kid just retrieved his new sword and brought it out to the kitchen. That watermelon is definitely headed for a bad end!

Whirlwind

I made it safely to and from Detroit and here is my report:

I was pretty nervous when I left Thursday. I had already received an email from Kristi (pictured above with yours truly - by the way, that shot there was about the 25th picture taken of the two of us. One or the other of us - usually me - kept objecting to the shots of our double chins) that her flight had already been detoured that morning and I just knew that would happen to me, too! I'm not familiar with flying, only having ever flown once before in my adult life - and that was with Paul who did all the navigating. But it went great!

I'm sure I must have looked like a little kid, so excited. I kept peering out my window and was just delighted to watch the earth fall away as we gained altitude. It was SO neat to be flying on top of the clouds! We landed in Chicago right on schedule and I just LOVED that place - so huge and so bustling (a lot more bustling than the Des Moines airport!). I found that I had to take a shuttle to get to my concourse, which was a surprise, but I managed fine. I landed in Detroit around 9:30 Eastern time and my ride picked me up an hour later.

While I was waiting in line in Chicago, a Chinese young man turned to me and in halting English asked if he could use my phone to call his parents. That made me a little nervous because I'm pretty sure that our unlimited calling plan every month doesn't include service to Shanghi! But he explained that he needed to call his host parents in Detroit - he was a foreign exchange student. Only, his English was pretty limited so he ended up handing the phone to me and I talked with the host on the other end. She ended up calling me back twice verifying flight times. At first I was a little hesitant about helping this guy because, of course, I didn't know him. But then the thought went through my mind that as nervous as I was about flying to Michigan, how much more nervous this young man must be flying around the world and to a country where he couldn't even speak the language well. Compassion won out.

I got picked up and began meeting fellow FaithWriters. That was neat - strange people were hugging me. I recognized the name of one of the ones who greeted me - everything she writes is like gold. But she found out my name and said, "Oh, I LOVE your stories!" The next day I discovered that this gal - Lisa - just got her first book published. And yet, she loves MY stories! I bought one of her books and she autographed it for me.

The hotel was nice and quite a bit fancier than the Comfort Inns that we tend to gravitate towards. Only, for all that fanciness, we didn't even have a fridge or microwave in our room! But we did have Sleep Number beds! So-o-o neat. I'm thinking that our next mattress purchase will have to be one of those. Unless of course, the economy totally collapses in the next 10 years (when we'll need a new mattress), the Chinese take us over to recover what is owed to them, and we all end up sleeping on bamboo mats. But that's a post for another day.

Kristi ended up getting in around 1:30am, after being routed all over the country. We talked until 3:30 am when we finally decided that we HAD to sleep. The next day we slept in until 9:30am and then went shopping. The hotel was very close to a mall and a number of little strip malls, so we just hotfooted over there. Kristi's luggage was lost so she had to buy new clothing and necessities. My luggage wasn't lost, but I'm always up for a shopping trip! It was a really nice time of getting to know one another at a face-to-face level.

The conference started Friday night. I was so impressed with the truly Christian emphasis of it. One of our first speakers challenged us with the idea of are we writers first, or are we Christians first? God may have totally different plans for our life that don't necessarily involve writing the way that we, ourselves envision. I appreciated that.

Saturday was to start with a breakfast. So Kristi and I set our alarm for 6:30am. We were sleeping and all of a sudden I was awakened by Kristi exclaiming, "Is someone breaking into our room?" Well, that wasn't happening, but a transformer had blown outside and so our alarm didn't go off. We had overslept by 35 minutes. But you know, it's amazing how fast you can get ready when the only person you have to get ready is yourself. We were showered, dressed, and make-upped in just 30 minutes. We got down to breakfast and discovered that we were the lucky ones. We still had lights and electricity. Some people had to come down with wet hair because they didn't have any power at all in their rooms. I would have skipped the conference if that was me!

All day long we went from one workshop to the next. I took copious notes and am anxious to go over them again. I learned SO much! But the hotel was losing more and more power as the day went on. And this is August. Granted, August in Michigan is a little cooler than Iowa, but it was still hot. The rooms were dim because the power was lessening and they were hot. Poor Kristi about fell asleep in one session! Eventually, in the late afternoon, full power was finally restored, much to my relief. At one point Kristi and I had gone up to our room and we had to use our cell phones for light in the bathroom!

I had a critiquing session with one of the big editors who was at the conference. This experience took the wind out of my sails a bit. She took one of my pieces and had thoroughly critiqued it. By the time we were done, I felt like I should just put up my pen forever - why did I think I could ever write? But the more I thought about it, the more grateful I became. If I want praise for my writing I already have plenty of people who will gladly give that to me. But those people can't help me advance to where I want to go. This editor can. She knows what it takes. And I don't have it yet. But if I follow her directions, I might just develop it in time. And, really, it was quite generous of this lady to give her time to a lowly beginner writer like me. My desire is that editors clamor for my writing because it's just so amazing. But that's not going to happen. Writing is hard work. And if I want to succeed I'm going to have to get over any pride I've got, knuckle down, and learn how to do it right. Then, just maybe, I may have a chance at success.

Fortunately for my battered pride, Paul had slipped a couple of cards in my luggage. One was a cute "Miss You!" card that he had labeled for me to open on Friday. The one that I opened on Saturday was breath-taking. It was a card that said, "I believe in you" and he had written this letter in there about how he did just that and how he knew I could make this happen. I ended up tucking that one in my purse to pull out and read again on the way home. It was so special.

We finished up the conference on Saturday night. There was some big meeting going on next door and they were so loud that we could hear their music and yelling clear across the hall where we were having our little conference. But yet, prior to our evening sessions, the coordinators for the other meeting had come over and demanded that WE keep it down and not interrupt their meeting. Whatever! (eyeball rolling here).

Kristi and I turned in early Sat. night (well, prior to midnight - early for us!). She had to be up at 3 to get her ride to the airport at 4. We asked for wake-up calls for both of us, but we never got them. I could not shut off my brain that night. Even on my lovely Sleep Number bed, I tossed and turned. Finally, at 12:30am, I got up and tried to lightly cover Kristi's eyes with an extra pillow. She had assured me that if I wanted to watch tv it wouldn't bother her sleep, but I wanted to be extra careful. Well, I think she thought I was trying to smother her in her sleep, because I woke her up! Anyway, I watched stupid, mind-numbing tv until I was finally able to turn in for good at 1:30 am. Then, I woke up at 3 with Kristi and sadly said good-bye to her. :( I was up by 7:45.

You know, besides the conference and besides Kristi, what I really enjoyed about this trip? The solitude. Unless you live a life like I do where you are constantly being talked to and needed for something, I think it's hard to appreciate just how wonderful it is to be totally alone. I had an hour or so in the hotel room all by myself and I had hours alone at the airports and on the planes. It was wonderful! My mom assures me that thirty years from now I won't find alone time quite so amazing, but I sure appreciate it right now!

A couple of the other Faith Writers took me and another lady to the airport and I ended up having 3 hours to myself in the Detroit airport. My flight was nearly an hour late. And I sat in there and froze. It was rainy outside and cool inside. Eventually we boarded and ended up in Chicago again. Now, I was supposed to have about an hour layover in Chicago. But since my flight was late, I no longer had that time. I figured that United would probably put me on another flight but I wasn't sure what the protocol for that was - could I amble through the airport, miss my flight, and then assume they would get me home via another plane? Or was I expected to do my best to catch my planned flight? I decided to opt for the latter, which is really unfortunate, because I would have loved to have more time to explore O'Hare. As it was, I raced from one end to the other, trying to get to my gate. I wasn't running, but I sure was walking fast! I went so fast, in fact, that I gave myself some pretty nasty shinsplints. My hip, which had been bothering me slightly all weekend, completely went out and I've been in some serious agony since then.

But I made my flight! As I got to gate B7, they were loading the last of the passengers. I gasped to the clerk as I handed him my boarding pass, "Is this Des Moines?" Funny man replied, "Actually, this is Chicago, but the flight is headed for Des Moines!" Grrr....

And then we began descending near Des Moines. I looked out my window and I could see the track at Simpson College where Ben participated in Special Olympics this spring. And then I saw the water tower in Norwalk and could clearly read the town name emblazoned on the side. We landed and I turned on my phone which immediately began to ring and I could see that I had three messages. My phone had been silent for my entire trip...back to reality!

I walked off the plane and rode down the escalator. And my family was waiting for me, all smiles. Sam told me he had not missed me, but I think the others did. We went out for ice-cream and I regaled them all with my adventures and then we went to church, where I nearly fell asleep.

I want to go back. Maybe not next year, but some other year soon. I need to go back so I can keep learning. And I will enjoy myself each time I go. But the best part, I suspect, will always be when I ride down that escalator and see all my men.

Waiting for me.

Itchiness

Will is home for good - hence, this picture. Actually, this was taken the Sunday before he left for his last two weeks up at camp. Sam and I went and got him, along with another camper on Friday. That pretty much took up my whole day.

Will came back and immediately got into some poison ivy. I thought he'd gotten into it up at camp, but apparently, it was from pulling weeds around here on Sat. He was so miserable by Sunday night. It was all over his face. So I finally just took him to the ER at Blank at 11:30 that night. I don't think it was an emergency, but he couldn't sleep and I really wasn't going to have time to take him anywhere on Monday. Plus, he was to start football practice first thing Mon. and I wanted to know if it was even ok for him to do that with this stuff all over his body (it was). So, he's on steroids and Benedryl now, along with $20 worth of creams I bought yesterday for him. Now, Sam has something going on on his left leg. He's got a couple of really hard yellow blisters and a rash, along with a couple of deep scrapes. I don't know what it is! If it's still bad tomorrow, I'm going to see if the dr. can see him when I take Ben in for his allergy shots. In the meantime, I'm treating it as if it is poison ivy, too - minus the steroids.

I leave the day after tomorrow for my Michigan trip! I'm starting to get excited - still nervous about the solo flying, but excited for the trip. I feel like my writing is in such a rut - I'm hoping what I learn will shake that up. Plus, it is going to be so much fun to spend time with Kristi!

I have been struggling with depression for the last month, too, which is really unusual for me. Perhaps this get-away will loosen the hold that this blackness has on me? I feel like I've been living on St. John's Wort for weeks now and I've even contemplated getting a prescription. But I had a bad experience with Zoloft about 10 years ago and I've never wanted to be on anti-depressants since. It's just very irritating because my normal self is generally pretty happy and content with life and when that is suddenly not my first nature anymore, it makes me even more depressed! Needless to say, I am quickly developing an empathy for those that struggle with this condition on a daily basis for most of their lives. Ugh! I hope this passes quickly!

A number of years ago, like back in the 80s, the rage in Christian circles was to figure out your "personality" type, based on 4 predominate personalities. I knew then that I was what they called a "Melancholy", but I had strong Choleric parts to my personality as well. Well, I think the Melancholy is finally taking over. Sigh...Not that being one is a bad thing, necessarily, but I do think they are more prone to depressive episodes. I should find that book sometime from the library and read up again on the personalities, just for fun - or insight.

I got the results back on my Factor V Leiden test - negative. I was so sure that I had it and I found myself disappointed with the results. I wanted a reason for my stroke 4 years ago and had so hoped that this was it. But I guess it's not. So, that means that the possibility of another stroke is still hanging over my head, as I guess it probably will all my life. But, I could also get hit by a mack truck tomorrow (or die in a plane crash) - there are no guarantees of anything in life! The boys are pleased though, because they were not thrilled with the idea of getting tested themselves.

I took the boys in for their 6 month dental check-ups last week. No cavities, but the dentist is telling me that David is probably going to need braces at some point. I questioned him about his lower teeth, which are a concern. They are coming in awfully crooked. His top ones aren't so bad. So, now I have a referral for an orthodontist. I still need to call him. The dentist said there's no real hurry on this (good!), but I suppose we should plan on using some of (or all) next year's flex spending money for it. I am not sure what insurance will cover. David is kind of freaking out about the possibility, but I'm not going to ruin his chances of snagging a good wife because he doesn't have a nice smile!

Last Monday I was at the school, dropping off Ben's registration and my CPI forms for the other boys. I ran into the mother of one Ben's classmates and so I struck up a superficial conversation with her. I asked if they had gone anywhere this summer and she sadly shook her head. I immediately felt like an idiot because her son is very, very autistic and has some extremely difficult behaviors. They probably have difficulty going anywhere, let alone on vacation. So, I contritely said, "Oh, it's probably hard for you to go anywhere, isn't it?" She shook her head again and burst out, "My husband left me this summer!" Oh! I felt horrible! I hugged her and told her how sorry I was. We ended up becoming Facebook friends and have been chatting back and forth over the last week. But wow - and I think I have reasons to feel depressed!

It looks like we are re-financing our house. I'm letting Paul take care of that. I have enough to worry about. With the bank we are going with, we'll even cut 3 years off our mortgage, without raising our payments. But now he's on a tear now to get things fixed up before the appraiser comes out in a week and a half. We've debated about moving and that may still happen at some point, but I think we're going to wait until Ben is closer to finishing school. And, rather than sell this house, we'd really like to turn it into a rental property at some point. But for now, it's just our house.

Last week when I got Will we stopped at a Subway and Sam announced that he could "read" my cup. I asked him what it said and he began to spell out, "S...U...B...W...A...Y" I said, "So what does that spell?" Sam triumphantly announced, "It says, 'pop'!"

Well, I had better keep moving. I am meeting a friend of mine from church for lunch. She's actually a 23 year old college student, pursuing her masters in music. She and I struck up a friendship a few years ago and now she wants me to help her find some clothes for this next year of school. She may know music, but I know fashion! Well, I know fashion for 40 year olds, that is. I'm not sure how much help I'll actually be!

Gs, Journeys, and Junk

I'm so glad to be back on the computer again! My darling children downloaded a game last week onto my laptop. I discovered Sun. night that we were up to 4.8G and we're only allotted 5G a month! Once we went over by just 600 MB and it cost us an extra $100. So, our use on the internet was extremely limited until today when our new billing cycle began.

I visited my friend Jenny today. I mentioned her a year or more ago. She's my friend that gave birth to little Rebekah, with some pretty serious needs. Rebekah has been home since she was six months old, but somehow in the 10 months since then I have just never made it over to visit with them. Of course, I know their lives are very busy with therapists in and out of the home and all the dr's visits and even surgery that's had to happen. Jenny started bringing Rebekah to church in April and my heart has just melted every time I've seen that little girl. She's so obviously handicapped - but so obviously God's creation. Today I got to hold her for the first time and it was wonderful! If it weren't for Ben, I don't think I'd feel quite this tenderness towards those with special needs. And it was good for both Jenny and I to talk. There's just something about talking with someone who's been through the same fires. Sometimes I feel bad, though, that I don't have it more "together" after almost 15 years on this journey. I feel like I'm in a stage of life now where I should be more of an encouragement to moms just starting out on this road. But sometimes I still feel just as needy and heartbroken as I did nearly 15 years ago. I think it's a journey without a destination.

But I found out today in talking with Jenny and the one therapist that happened to be at her house, that little Rebekah and Ben share the same occupational therapist, Brandi. I did not know that. And then someone said - and I can't remember if it was Jenny quoting Brandi, or if it was this lady that was there today from the AEA. Anyway, it was said that if you are going to have a handicapped child in this area, Pleasantville school is the best place for them. I couldn't believe it! Pville is the smallest school in this area. In fact, it's so little that there have been fears that it may close at some point. They graduate about 40 seniors a year. How thankful I am, though, that God lead us to that school - and that it is only 10 min away from our house! Ben starts his transitional schooling next week for 2 hours a day and he is so excited to be going back!

So, then I got home, got on the computer, and haven't been off since. I uploaded July's pictures to Facebook, which took forever since I had a lot from our vacation. I don't upload every picture we take. I know that I have no desire to look through all 16 shots of one kid blowing out birthday candles, like some people post. So I try to choose the best photos of every event and just post those. And this way I can be more choosy about which shots of ME go up! I'm not going to show everything. I had one picture Paul took of David and me at the water park. Actually, it's kind of a cute picture, with his expression and I don't look half-drowned, which is always a plus. But it's a full-body shot of me in my bathing suit! I'm not posting that for the entire world to see - not with my post-csectioned tummy (kangaroo pouch) and too-friendly dimpled thighs. They're neighbors now - my thighs. Used to be they wouldn't have anything to do with each other. Now they like to rub against each other all the time. I wish they would go back to being merely acquaintances.

And I'm blogging now. I was supposed to go to Ladies' Bible study but decided to stay home. I'm tired of running around all the time. I've got to drive over to Indianola several times in the next few days and I just needed a night off. Paul went to Knoxville to an auction. He says he's going to look at an advertised pie safe for me (I found one on vacation that I almost bought, but decided not to) but I think he just wanted an excuse to go. I really don't have room for a pie safe right now, anyway. Once the kitchen gets remodeled, then it would be a different story. Paul says that's going to happen this fall. I told him I want the outside cleaned up first. There's siding pieces and wood and other construction materials laying around as well as many, many metal items that need to be hauled to the salvage yard. I'm just tired of it and he's not starting another mess in here until he gets the first one cleaned up! I think I'm getting cranky. Living in a fixer-upper can do that to a person.

Paul has been a cripple this week. Last Sat. he thought he would be funny and tried to sit on Will. Will pushed back and sent his dad flying into the couch where he heard his ribs go "crunch." He has been in agony every since, although it's finally starting to get a little better. He even had me take him to Urgent Care for x-rays. Nothing was broken, though. He hasn't been able to roll over in bed and he's been living on the pain prescriptions they gave him. But he went to the chiropractor this week, which makes me cringe. I wouldn't want anyone popping on me if I was in that much pain! Paul is starting to seem a little more human now, so I guess the pain is lessening somewhat. I bet it will be a long time before he tries to mess with Will again, though!

I have to admit, I was a little put-out when he injured himself in such a foolish way last week. We finally had a Saturday where he was home all day and could get some work done on the house. And then he wrecked that by getting hurt. But, he did redeem himself by building my bathroom cabinet that day - in between moans, that is. He and Will got it hung up and now I've got a place for towels and blankets. I'm liking it!

David and Sam have come down with summer colds. They're sneezing and dripping snot everywhere - disgusting. Sam keeps asking for "more medicine." Think I'm raising a future drug addict? If they share with me, I am not going to be happy. I don't get sick because I don't have time. Seriously - I don't get sick. I went this whole past winter season without so much as a cold. I think that probably has more to do with all the Vit D I take than anything else. But I don't have time to be down with anything. The last time I was sick like that was the day that Paul, Will, and I had the flu at the same time. Sam was 13 months old and very mobile. He did something with my keys that day and we've never found them since. I don't want to lose anything else, so I can't get sick!

Will had his physical last week. He's healthy - almost 5'11" and weighs 161 lbs. But they called me back to the room and announced to me that Will has a hearing loss. We've known since '07 that he was missing some of the hearing in his left ear and have tried to make him see the importance of limiting his mp3 player use and using ear plugs when hunting, as a result. But they told me he only has 50% hearing in that ear and that he has some loss in his right ear, as well! I was not happy. But, I'm trying not to get too worked up about it - yet. On the 16th of Aug, I'm taking Will to see my ENT. I have a yearly check-up every summer to monitor my hearing situation and they have a professional sound booth there and can more accurately test hearing than a regular dr's office can. Obviously, a person can live with less-than-perfect hearing. I have, my entire life. But the hearing in my right ear has always been very good, which compensated for having none in the left. But as I am getting older, that "good" ear is diminishing and I find myself more and more frustrated with the inability to hear at times. A hearing aide is in my future, but hopefully not for awhile yet. I just have to think that being partially deaf in both ears would be a lot harder than being completely deaf in only one ear, as I am.

Well, the kids at church got a lesson on the birds and the - well, birds - last night, thanks to yours truly. My friend Deb and I ended up taking the school-aged kids down to pray since the regular person didn't show up. So, after we did that, we took the kids outside to play. I noticed a hawk nearby who appeared to be grappling with a bunny. There were tufts of what I thought was fur all over the ground and it looked like quite a struggle had ensued. I gathered all the kids around and instructed them to watch as this was quite educational. So they did. And then all of a sudden, the hawk lifted his prey into the air and I realized it wasn't a bunny, but another bird. Deb and I looked at each other and I exclaimed, "I didn't know they eat their own!" And then the second bird suddenly freed herself and flew off. And that's when it dawned on me - it wasn't a meal that we interrupted. It was something else, entirely! Oh my goodness - Deb and I laughed so hard. Fortunately, most of the kids couldn't figure out what we thought was so funny! I'm surprised I haven't had to field any phone calls after that one!

Well, I had better turn the computer over to the kids so they can spew their germs all over it. Ick! They've been bugging me all afternoon and evening for it. I need to do some picking up around here and then herd the kids to bed. We may get a thunderstorm tonight - I sure hope so. It's been a long, hot summer.

Only one more week and Will will be home for good! Am I normal? I go crazy stuck at home with them for so long that I have to get out and do things by myself from time to time. But when they're gone I miss them like crazy. Maybe I just miss all the stuff he does around here, like changing the garbage and killing the mice! Well, Will tends to have a very "calming" manner to him. I might not miss some of the more excitable ones so much! Give me a chance to find out!

Gotta run. Next week Ben starts school, part-time. Oh, guess I mentioned that already - maybe I'm excited or something! And two weeks from today I'll be in Michigan! I'm so nervous about the whole flying-alone thing that I'm not even looking forward to the trip yet. I need to get over that!

Vacation Report

Ok, this is not the greatest picture of all the boys, but it shows them at one of our favorite stops on our recent vacation - Lambert's Restaurant in Sikesville, Missouri, home of the "throwed rolls."

And by the way, "vacation" is a misnomer. There was nothing relaxing about this trip! I think we are going to have to be old and gray before we actually get to rest while on vacation!

We left early on Thurs. morning and drove to Kansas City to go to Worlds of Fun. It had been 21 years since we were there last. It sure was hot! Fortunately, they do have some air conditioned buildings there and every so often, along the walkways they have these fans blowing mists of water, which help. Paul discovered, though, that his head and stomach cannot handle roller coasters like they used to be able to. I remember last Aug. he was starting to have trouble when we went to Adventureland. He's getting old! They had stricter rules there, too, about letting little people onto certain rides. So Sam had to sit out most of the rides. Fortunately, they do have a section of the park just for little ones. He loved that, especially the bumper cars!

Probably the funniest part of the day was when we were watching this show. It was loud, but the building was air conditioned, so we didn't care too much. The performers were putting on old tv theme songs and oldie songs. At one point, they drew Paul out of his seat, put flowers around his neck and had him dancing up on stage! Then, they stuck he and this other lady behind these cut-outs of Sonny and Cher and had them sing, "I Got You, Babe" into the microphone. It was funny - I could see his red face from where we were sitting!

Friday we drove down to Branson. That's when we stopped at Lamberts. We had visited there 3 years ago and knew we had to go back. It's an amazing place! We thought getting there on a weekday, a little past the typical lunch time, would mean that we could get right in. Not so! We had to wait an hour and a half for a table. Fortunately, there were plenty of antique stores nearby that we could browse in while we waited. A lot of people know about Lamberts, evidently! Definitely worth the wait, though.

Saturday morning we had to get up early to go to a time share presentation. I hate those things but it helped pay for our vacation, so we sucked it up and went. Do people ever actually say "yes" to these salesmen? That afternoon we took the boys mini-golfing at an indoor place - thankfully. It was still awfully hot!

That night we went to the Noah show. This was almost as expensive as Worlds of Fun. But it was so awesome! Even the boys said they liked it better than WOF, which surprised me. There is the Sight and Sound theater in Branson that for 35 years has been committed to bringing the Bible to life through musicals. This was an amazing show. The audience was made to feel as though they were inside the ark during part of the show. I loved how as the story drew to a close, the musical didn't end with the final scene of Noah's family exiting the ark and seeing the first rainbow. Instead, the sides of the ark on the stage fell away and just the crosspieces remained, forming a cross shape. Then, an actor dressed as Jesus came forward and gave the "rest of the story" with a clear Gospel message. Very cool!

During the show, I was watching the family in front of us. They had two boys and the oldest clearly had autism. He was very distressed at different points in the show because he couldn't handle the extra stimulation happening on stage. But his parents did a good job with him, doing "deep compressions" on his arms and legs to calm him down and talking him through some of the more difficult parts. I wanted to say something to them but never got the chance.

On Sunday we visited a church in Branson. There are churches everywhere down south! This one was a little more modern - but I couldn't find any fault with the pastor's message. He did call the second service the "hangover service" which I didn't think was in very good taste. And he also said, "Holy Crap!" during his message. But, other than that, it was fine. It was obviously a seeker-friendly church and very, very involved in donating to worthy organizations. Different, but not wrong.

Sunday afternoon we took the boys to a water park in Branson. It was both indoor and outdoor, which was nice, since it was still so hot. I really enjoyed myself there, especially on the Lazy River! I love those things!

That night we drove to Sedalia, Mo and spent the night. The next day we drove home, making a few stops along the way. We ate lunch at an Applebees, per the boys' request. They had never eaten at one before and wanted to see what they were like. I've eaten there many, many times, but we indulged them. Our last stop was in Lamoni, Iowa. I had read about an Amish store down there that has been put together with the help of Graceland University. We didn't get into town until 7pm so I was just sure that the store would be closed already. But it wasn't!

It was neat as we were driving through town to see the Amish homes there and we met quite a few buggies along the way. I felt so sorry for the drivers in their dark clothing when it was still over a 100 degrees. How awful to have to live without air conditioning! But the store was really cool (literally and figuratively). The lady running it was delighted to see our family and had to make a big deal out of the fact that we had all boys. She raised 5 daughters, so could relate, somewhat. I ended up buying a new step basket since the boys destroyed my other one. They had better not touch this one! On the bottom, the Amish family dated and signed it, along with all the names in their family. They mentioned on it that they have a baby named "Verna." So, so cool!

And now we're home and I am still exhausted! I just have not caught up yet! Fortunately, this week has not been too terribly busy and I've been able to kind of ease into it.

I found out this week that my dad has a gene that causes excessive clotting - it's called Factor V Leiden. When he was in the hospital a few weeks ago an old friend on Facebook contacted me and suggested that Dad get tested because she had been through a similar experience herself. At first the dr. kind of poo-poohed the idea but he did agree to do the testing. More than likely, I have the gene, too. I'm getting my blood drawn this Monday to find out for sure. I'm kind of excited by this news because if I do have it, it would explain why I had the stroke, which has always been a troubling mystery. I don't know what they do once somebody is identified as having this defective gene. I already take an aspirin every day, but maybe they'll want to have me start on an anti-coagulant since I'm obviously at a higher risk for clots and thus, strokes. That's if I have it. If I do, though, I will need to get the boys tested as well, since I may very well have passed it on to them.

Yesterday we met with Ben's new case worker for his waiver. Somehow, he "fell through the cracks" when we applied and were granted this waiver in 2010. I always kind of wondered why I was never contacted but then I would forget. But anyway, his case worker is a lovely person and I very much enjoyed meeting her yesterday. She'll be coming to our house once every 3 months and calling monthly. Ben is eligible for a host of services through this waiver including respite care, which he already gets, Easter Seals camps, and a $5000 grant if we needed to modify anything in our home or vehicle for him. We don't need that yet and may never need it. We can also get someone to come into our home and teach him basic life skills - money management, cooking, telephone skills, etc.

I also found out that shortly before Ben's 18th birthday we will have to hire a lawyer and apply to the courts to be appointed Ben's legal guardians. If we don't, we will no longer be able to make decisions or to even be on his bank accounts. We couldn't even sign his IEPs for him. It's crazy! And then we'll have to do it again someday before our deaths should he outlive us, which I assume he will. I thought being parent was equivalent to being a legal guardian, but I guess that's only until the 18th birthday.

Ben's case manager commented several times how impressed she was with Ben's manners and ability to communicate. That made me feel good! She said that because of that he will be a good candidate for job training - actual job jobs, not just work done in a separate work space, like they do with more handicapped adults. I'm so glad to hear that because that is what I want for him. Apparently there is an organization in Indianola that he'll be able to work with once he turns 16 that will teach him job skills and basic things like attention to detail, clocking in, keeping focused on the job at hand, etc.

Oh, and on the subject of Ben: I was asked to write a piece for the series, "Growing Up with Autism" for an autism blog. I ended up writing about our education journey with him. You can read it here: http://manyhatsmommy.com/ Scroll down a little bit and I'm the second paragraph in. There's a good picture of the two of us there. David snapped that for me yesterday.

Well, this is what I know for now. This afternoon I have to run Will up to Des Moines for his sports physical. He leaves Monday for two straight weeks at camp. He'll be at Sr. High camp next week and then just as soon as that ends on Sat. he'll be working the last Family camp of the season. He gets back on Friday, the 5th, and starts practice on the next Monday. It suddenly occurred to him on Wed. of this week that he needs a physical before then! Normally, he gets them at the school, but that wasn't going to work this time with him being gone. Fortunately, I was able to get him in with one of the drs where I started going this spring.

I had better stop typing. Today, I was trying to pick up a thumbtack out of a little basket on my desk. I wasn't very successful. I stabbed my pointer finger pretty badly. In fact, I had to pull the thumb tack OUT of my finger. Owww! It's starting to throb now. Better give it a rest! Time for some lunch and another chapter in my current murder mystery, "Lye in Wait."

Light, Destructive Kids, and the Maid

As I blog, a new-found light is spilling across my computer screen - I like it! Paul just cut a hole for a window in my office. Wow, that is really going to lighten it up in here! Of course, I will be happier once the window is actually in, since the bugs are flying in with the hole.

I am almost done with today's to-do list. And that's good since it's already 8 pm! I'm feeling it, too. Yesterday was a non-stop day. First, I took David to the foot dr. to have his plantar warts worked on. Then, from there we drove up to Clear Lake to pick up Will and another teen from church who had been working. We went to 2 different fast food joints to pick up lunch and then we headed back. It's a 2 hour plus drive. We drove straight to the Indianola pool and got there at 4. It worked out well because we were having a mom "get-together" from church at the pool. That was actually supposed to happen Thurs, but it rained. David was so disappointed that I told him we could go Fri. when it was re-scheduled. So we spent 2 hours at the pool. Then, we drove home and I had Will throw my scrapbooking stuff in the van and I drove back to Indianola and scrapbooked until 11. Then, I came home and collapsed into bed. I was up by 7:30 this morning in order to be at the park clean-up day. Normally I would skip something like that but I felt kind of obligated, since I am on the council. Plus, the mayor had commented to me this last week that he knew the only people that would show up for this would be himself and his dad. So then I felt like I HAD to go! Paul came a little bit later with his chainsaw and we were able to take down a few trees. But I did beg out early. I knew I had this long list to accomplish today and it wasn't going to happen if I wasn't home. Plus, my allergies were threatening to start bugging me. Plus, it was hot. I hate heat. Plus, it was yard work. I hate yard work.

I've got homemade caramel corn baking in the oven. It smells so good! I also made a new dessert that I am guaranteed not to have to share. It's a chocolate cherry trifle - layers of pound cake, chocolate pudding, cool-whip, and cherry pie filling. Yum, yum! Wonder how many miles I'll have to put on the treadmill to walk that thing off?

Monday was the 4th of July. I was sad because Will wasn't here again. Actually, I was mildly depressed all week. I am having the hardest time with this kid being gone so much. At this rate, I'm going to end up in a psychiatrist's office when he goes off to college! I've got to shake out of this! But he's here now and will be around for the next two weeks (and then he'll be gone for 2 weeks straight again) so I'm happy!

Our neighbors (actually, the afore-mentioned mayor) were setting off illegal fireworks Sun. night. Sam ran into the house so excited and told me, "It's like stars out there - only there are red stars!" We did get to Pville on Mon. night for their display - they did not disappoint. Wow - what a show!

Tues. night Sam came into the house and anxiously told me, "Mom - I broke Will's car!" I thought maybe he had dented it or something with a stick, since he was carrying one. But no...he shattered the windshield. Apparently, he had been climbing on the car (which prompted a new rule) and fell. He told me his "butt hurt" so I'm guessing he went down on his bottom at the top of the windshield. ARgh - I could not believe it! Sam assured me, "It's ok, Mom - we have duct tape!" If only it were that easy...I hated having to write to Will and tell him what had happened. I just hope that if Paul is able to fix the damage from the accident, that we can replace the windshield, as well. I have never owned such a destructive child, before. Ben was rough - but he was mostly rough on himself. We made lots and lots of ER trips with him when he was a preschooler. But Sam is destructive to our stuff! I think half the problem is that he is so confident in everything he does. It doesn't occur to him that he could get hurt or he could hurt things because he sees his dad and brothers doing similar things (although I'm not aware that any of them climb on vehicles like monkeys). And maybe we're not watching him well enough, since, after all, we had a long break of not having to watch little children closely. Although, when the windshield incident happened, Paul was not 15 feet away, putting siding on the house. But, as any mom knows, there is a huge difference between being in the approximate vicinity of and actually watching.

I have a cover on my loveseat because we're too poor to actually buy matching furniture. Maybe someday! But, in the meantime, I have one of those stretchy covers for it. So, periodically, I have to throw it (the cover, not the loveseat) in the washer and dryer. Sam knows that when I do that he can play on the loveseat in a manner that he normally cannot when the cover is on. So, I got the cover cleaned and told Sam his playtime was over. He didn't like that, so I told him, "Ok, you can slide one more time." Sam replied, "No, I need lots of numbers!"

Sam just came and asked me to "get a dress" on him. I wanted to write that so I can laugh someday when I re-read this. He's actually asking me to get him dressed, but that's how he says it right now. He wants to run outside for a little bit before he goes to bed. He ought to sleep well. He and David spent all afternoon in our pool and Sam didn't get a nap. He told me just now that it isn't dark and it won't be dark for another "20 hours." Good to know!

I had a phone call this week from DHS - no worries, though. About 16 months ago I applied for Ben to be on a different waiver than the one he has been on because I had heard that it offered more transitory services for young adults and closer contact with a case manager. I've kind of felt like we were on our own with the old waiver. So he qualified and I've waited and waited for a call. And then I kind of forgot about it. Somehow, Ben fell through the cracks and just this week his new case manager received his file! We had a really nice visit and she's coming to meet with us in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, I have a whole sheaf of papers to fill out. The bad thing is that his old waiver expired in the meantime, so Ben doesn't currently have any waiver services. So, we need to get this thing moving. Ahh - the efficiency and aptitude of govt. employees!

We are leaving for Missouri this Thurs. and we'll be there for several days. It will be nice to get away for a little vacation. We're going to Worlds of Fun on Thurs. I haven't been there in 21 years - the first summer that we were dating. Will checked the weather forecast and Missouri is saying "hot and humid" for that day - ick. Well, at least we'll be in air conditioning for the rest of the trip to Branson.

Well, I've got one more head to do a haircut on and a very messy kitchen to clean. My writing break is over - back to being the scullery maid.