Day 894
This day is slipping away
entirely too fast and I'm not getting done nearly what I had hoped. Oh well - story of my life, I guess.
I had to spend an hour and
a half with the dishwasher repairman. It
turned out that pumpkin seeds lodged in the drainpipe were the issue. Oops.
But he didn't charge me. Maybe
that's because he was entertained by Ellie the entire time. While I sat in the other room and graded
Geography she sat right beside the repairman and kept up a running commentary
on everything from the color of his hair to how high she can count. Then, Bella, dumb cat, went and plopped
herself down right in front of him while he was trying to work on the
appliance. Bet he was glad to get to his
next job...
Will turned 21 last
Monday. I bet he is one of the few 21
year olds who spent his birthday with his family. He said
that some kids in one of his classes found out it was his birthday so he
got a number of suggestions about
"hitting the bar" that night.
I remember that was such a big deal when I turned 21, too. Like Will, I was going to a secular college
at the time. Although, I do remember that
night some friends took me out to eat and I was so thrilled when the waiter
offered me the wine list! It didn't
matter that I didn't have any interest in drinking. Just getting the affirmation that I was legal
enough was all I wanted.
Arien took the day off work
and while Will was at school she came over and stuffed his room full of
balloons - some with candy and love notes inside them. That was fun.
I don't know how many she got stuffed in there, but it was a lot.
Then, that evening we went
to David's final flag football game and then out to eat as a family. We got home and Will, Arien, and David took
off to Pleasantville to watch the rest of what ended up being their last
play-off game. And then they came home
and Will blew out his "21" candle and we had cake and ice-cream.
I wonder how many more
birthdays of his we'll celebrate together?
Well, ideally, he'll live next door to me and we'll celebrate them all,
but realism tells me otherwise...
******************************
Tuesday was Election Day. Will was easily re-elected to the city
council. All of the rest of the seats
were filled by write-in votes. As the
clerk, I found this somewhat embarrassing.
I am the one who has to deal with the county auditor - who is very
understanding, but frustrated like I am.
In late summer, I mailed out detailed instructions to all the
townspeople telling them how to fill out the paperwork to get their names on
the ballot. Will was the only one who
bothered to turn in the paperwork. There
was some talk amongst certain residents about who was willing to serve and who
everyone ought to vote for and I didn't know what to do. I finally decided, the weekend before
elections, that I would go vote - but only for the name actually on the ballot,
which was Will's. If a person desires to
serve their city in an elected capacity, but is not willing to even do the
little bit of work required to get his name on the ballot, what does that say
about the amount of work they'll be willing to invest into their city once elected?
An election I kept a close
eye on was nearby Knoxville's. Knoxville
has a small tribute in a public park dedicated to the fallen soldier. It features a metal cut-out of a soldier
kneeling on his comrade's fresh grave. A
white cross stands next to it. Well,
someone (more than likely, an out-of-town liberal group deliberately targeting
small cities) complained about the "separation of church and state"
and demanded that the city remove the cross.
In August a huge rally was held at the park and I've gotten a kick out
of driving around town since because people everywhere have erected
white crosses on their lawns. One
homeowner even put up a sign beside his that reads, "Be
Offended." I am reminded of 1 Cor. 1:18 that says the
message of the cross is "foolishness to those who are
perishing." What a literal example
of that this whole event has been!
Despite the community
support, the mayor and council voted to remove the cross, anyway, after
Veterans Day, saying the city couldn't afford a potential lawsuit. The citizens of Knoxville and central Iowa
altogether were outraged. Anyway, those
council members that voted to have the cross removed were voted out of office
last Tues. night. The cross will still
come down because the new terms don't start until January, but the promise is
that the citizens will then persistently petition the city government to have
it reinstated.
******************************
The other day Ellie was
wearing a button down shirt. I told her,
"Oh, we need to button up one more."
She peered down at her shirt and, puzzled, asked, "Why? Nobody can see my boobs."
And then there was this one
that I shared on Facebook:
Ellie (age 4) and I were driving around
today and from the backseat I could hear her making some soft choking and other
excited noises. "Mom!" I heard her quietly shriek. Assuming she
wanted me, I asked her what she needed. She replied, "Oh, nothing, Mom. I
was just pretending you were murdering me."
She really scares
me.
I'm not so sure a
good mom would be laughing, but I am anyway!
*****************************
The other night at Patch Club, Sam volunteered
to copy the night's verse onto the
chalkboard. I had not realized how much
school has improved his handwriting until I saw what he had written. He remained at the chalkboard and a few
minutes later I heard the other students giggling. I looked up and Sam had chalked, above the
verse, "Your butt." He wasn't being blasphemous - he wrote it way above where the verse was written. He was being an 8 year old boy, is what it was.
It was just one of
the moments. Part of me wanted to wail,
"Where did I go wrong?" But
the other part of me was sort of impressed that he used the correct form of
"your," too.
***********************
I had parent
teacher conferences last Thursday night.
This, of course, was my first-ever time to do this at the elementary
school. Next year, I'm going to put a
time buffer in between the kids' scheduled times. The person in front of me for Sam's ran over
which meant we were super rushed so I could get to Lizzie's on time. Fortunately, there was nobody scheduled after
Lizzie's, so we were able to take a little more time there.
While I was
waiting for Sam's teacher, I chatted a little bit with the mom sitting beside
me on the chairs outside the door. She
worried me. She wore a very low cut top
and evidently, a push-up bra. Every time
she laughed, her bosom would jiggle all over the place, threatening to pop
right out, I was afraid. It made it kind
of hard to concentrate on her face. And
yet, another reason for modesty...
Anyway, I totally
forgave her, though, because she asked who my 2nd grader was and when I told
her, she replied, "Oh, he is such a sweetie!" How she knows that, I have no idea, unless
she has helped out in the classroom or heard reports from her own second-grader
(a boy, named, "Paul," which you don't hear much anymore. Oh, by the way, there is also a boy in Sam's
class named, "Stanton," which kind of makes me laugh. It's such a dignified, upper-crust type of
name. I actually met Stanton yesterday
when I picked Sam up to go get his new glasses.
Stanton is...well, how shall I say this?
By the 6th grade, he will probably have the body to be mistaken for a
Varsity football player...great big kid.
He looked at me and greeted, "Hi, Sam's mom!")
So, anyway, Sam's
conference went really well. His
teacher, who is younger than me by just a few years, has been teaching for
quite awhile. She said that Sam is one
of the politest children she has ever run across. She said she has also observed his peer
interactions and said he is just as polite with the kids. In fact, and she laughed as she told this
story, Sam and another boy were eating lunch in the classroom the other
day. Sam had earned that privilege with
good behavior in the classroom. When the
kids do this, they are free to go to recess as soon as they finish, so they
have some motivation to eat really fast.
Well, that's what this friend of Sam's was doing and his teacher told me
she heard Sam caution him to "Slow down - your food can't digest when you
eat it so fast!" Apparently, Sam
also suggested to his friend that it would be wiser if he ate his sandwich
first and saved his dessert for last for nutrition purposes. His teacher said to me, "I could just
hear his mother as he said those things!"
Hah!
Sam's reading
tutor was in on the conference,
too. I've had a couple of testy emails
from her and my opinion wasn't really changed at the conference, either. My premise with Sam's reading difficulties
has been - let's not freak out about
this. I've explained to both his teacher
and the tutor that I am very willing to have Sam tutored and to go over things
at home with him, but I am not going to panic about this. He will learn to read (and he can read
- it's just not with the fluency and as
many words per minute as the state demands) but if his brain is not ready, this
isn't something that can be forced.
Sam's teacher seemed to be inclined to agree with me, but I could tell his
tutor was less-than-impressed with my refusal to panic. Sigh...I really hate government schools...
But anyway, the
good news is that his reading has improved significantly since the beginning of
the school year. As long as he continues
on this upwards trajectory he should be able to meet the required standards
demanded by the state and the good 'ol No Child Left Behind act. Summer school might be in his future at some
point, but I'm not going to worry about that right now. Besides, the kid has character - and that's
worth far more than any top reading score.
Lizzie's
conference went well, too. Academically,
she's doing really well. I felt like I
had totally failed her at her reading, but her teacher referred to her initial
difficulties as mere "gaps" in her education and I'm totally not
going to worry about that. Every single
student, whether homeschooled, public, or private schooled is going to have gaps
in their education. It is impossible to
cover absolutely every single thing and to make sure the child absorbs every
single thing.
Lizzie's teacher
asked me what Lizzie says about school and I took a deep breath and told her
honestly, "Well, Lizzie's scared of you." And then her teacher felt bad, which was not
my intent. I told her I doubted it was
due to anything she had done at all, but that is what Lizzie tells me and,
besides, she did ask...Actually,
her teacher thanked me and said that showed her how she needed to communicate
with Lizzie better. And she commented
that Lizzie has seemed ill at ease with her in one-on-one settings so this
helps explain that.
I also talked with
this teacher about Lizzie's difficulty
in making friends. It was interesting
because the same topic came up with that mom I chatted with outside Sam's
classroom. Both told me the exact same
thing. They said the Pleasantville is a
great little community, but if you are new, it takes forever to be
accepted. That mom I mentioned said her
family moved here 12 years ago and she still doesn't feel all that
included! Great... although, this
definitely hasn't been the case with Ben.
And even by the time Will was an upperclassman on the football team, he
had developed a camaraderie with some of the players. Although, I think there is a definite
difference between girls and guys, which would explain why Sam is having an
easier time. Boys are good with finding
someone to toss a ball with. Girls want
to find a friend to share all their secrets with.
Lizzie's teacher
showed me a paper Lizzie had written in September in which she talked about her
old life, before me. It about made me
cry. She talked about how she had to
move a lot and how scared she always was.
But now she's happy. And then she
mentioned Paul's death, which made me sniff.
Lizzie's teacher
said that I seem "really laid back" (yay, me - that's what I want to
be, anyway, even if I'm not so much) and she thinks I am "really good for
Lizzie."
Despite Lizzie's
fears, I really like this teacher. Well,
I like Sam's, too, and I want to request both for their siblings that follow in
future years.
Oh, and then I dashed over to the high school (in a thunderstorm) and popped my head into Ben's classroom. It really isn't necessary because I've always been in pretty constant contact with his two resource teachers. Plus, we have his IEP meeting next week. But I like them. We ended up talking mostly about prom and senior pictures and things like that. And then Ben's music teacher happened to poke her head into the classroom and since I had hoped to touch base with her, that worked out well. One of Ben's teachers told me, "You have done such a good job with Ben. You need to be proud." And the other stood there nodding her head and thanking me for being such an "easy" parent.
So, it was a good night and pretty good for my ego, too, I think.
************************
Today there was a
knock at the door that I didn't hear because I was talking with the dishwasher
repairman. Ellie did, though, and
answered. She came back into the kitchen
and hollered, "Hey, Mom - there's some black people here!" I think it's safe to say that she has become
aware of differing skin colors...I was wondering when that was going to happen. I think everyone is aware that she is aware
now...
It was a couple of salesmen. I shooed them away (gently, because they're always about the ages of my older children and I'd want someone else to be kind to them) because you have to have a solicitation permit here. It doesn't matter who it is - these young salesmen always assure me that their bosses took care of that and then I have to tell them um, no they didn't because the permits are issued by me and I know I didn't sell one to their boss!
*******************************
Yesterday, Sam and
I were talking as I drove and I said something about abortion. Sam was quiet for a minute and then said,
"I think the moms and the doctors need to be charged with first degree
murder because they planned to do what they did." Of course, I've always considered abortion to
be murder, but I never thought about it in terms like that before. Sam is a very concrete thinker, though, so I
am not really surprised.
*******************************
I am not a great
mom. There are times I like to think
I'm a great mom and I always hope that I am one...but I'm not. Since the girls arrived 3 1/2 years ago,
bedtime has always been a battle. If I
don't stand over them and tell them exactly what to do, they always end up
goofing around. Then, I get mad, throw
them half-dressed into bed, and stomp down the stairs. It's not a nice way to end the day. I do not recall having bedtime struggles like
this with any of the boys. Maybe time
has dulled my memory, I don't know. So,
anyway, this happened last night. I was
especially mad because I had taken the kids to Pizza Hut for supper in order to
redeem their Book-It pizzas (a program through the school where they earn free
pizza for reading a certain number of books every month) and when we got home, I
told the kids to go get ready for bed, which Sam did easily and
willingly. But the girls were up to
their normal tricks and I was not a happy mother by the time I got them in bed.
It suddenly
occurred to me before I went to bed that other than to tell the girls, "Go
get ready for bed" I've never actually laid out for them exactly what I
want them to do. So, they may have a
general idea, but nothing specific. And
then, being little kids, they're apt to get distracted and forget things,
too. So today, I made a chart, complete
with clip art and written instructions of the seven steps to bedtime. I was actually very impressed with
Ellie. She was observing my chart and
then commented to me, "Don't you want us to go potty, too?" Obviously, even though she can't read, she
was able to decode the pictures and able to figure out what was missing. I re-did my chart to include a picture of a
toilet and hung it again.
And bedtime went
like a charm tonight! I sent them
upstairs and then about 10 min. later I followed and they were sitting in their
beds, pajamaed, sweet-breathed, and sleep caps on their curls.
Very nice. I may actually get this parenting thing
figured out one of these days.
*****************************
Well, that's all I
know. It's taken me nearly all day to
get this written. Tomorrow I will spend
a chunk of my day up at City Hall. It's
supposed to be rainy and stormy most of the day - even the possibility for
tornadoes, we're being told. I kind of
like rainy, cold, fall days. Minus the
tornado possibility. After getting all
this work done on the house I'll be very irritated if it gets blown away.
